What the hell was that...?

What in the world was that...?

My body felt like it was on fire.

It was burning.

With his every touch, flames like never before were lapping in and around my body.

I have never felt this before.

I don't know this feeling.

It was completely alien to me.

What was so different about him?

I have done the deed with countless men till now.

It was nothing new to me. It should have been nothing new to me.

Then...what exactly was what I felt when he touched me, when he kissed me?

I wrapped my arms around my body, hugging it.

I closed my eyes. I could feel his every touch. And every time, my body shivered. And whenever he touched my neck and ran his fingers down my body the shivering would stop completely. Like my body was fully under his control.

That feeling when he rolled his tongue inside my mouth.

I resisted at first. But it felt like my body wasn't my own. Its will was completely bent and melted by his every movement. My consciousness was fading. My eyes were clouded. All I could see was the blurry figure of him toying with my body as he pleased.

Then, he whispered something into my ear, ever so sweetly, "Have you ever thought of killing yourself?"

My body jolted, shivered with fear.

The haze that clouded my vision started clearing up, my vision no longer blurry.

I could clearly see his face.

Emotionless. Ruthless. Indifferent. Blank.

As if he had already given up on his life.

Like the world had abandoned him and he had abandoned the world.

My thoughts started clearing up.

I don't know what I was feeling then. This, too, was completely alien to me. Before I realized it, my hands pushed him away.

I gathered up my messy clothes and ran out of the room as fast as I could. The pieces of wood broke and flew as I marched ahead.

Then my thoughts wandered to something that I hadn't noticed.

When he kissed me, when he touched me, my body burned, intensely. Like it was on fire.

But...why? Then...why?

Why was the touch of his hands and the taste of his lips, so...cold?