Today is too beautiful of a day for a funeral. Not a single speck of white cloud taints the lake-blue sky. The gentle warmth of the sun is accompanied by the occasional breeze from the Fae Mountains. In the background, the mighty flow of the Acheron River roars relentlessly. Dad loved this type of weather. Whenever a day like this rolled around, he'd always drop whatever he was doing in his workshop to take us outside to play or to hunt. Well, I suppose it is fitting that my family and I say goodbye to him on such a day.

Dad never liked pomp and circumstance. So despite popular demand, the only attendants of the small and private funeral of Rummy, Patriarch of House Acheron, are his 5 wives, 3 concubines, 23 children, and 16 grandchildren. On top of that, he had specifically requested that the whole thing be done within an hour (I believe the exact words on his will were, "If my ass isn't on fire an hour after the bloody funeral starts, I'll be haunting you all in my afterlife!"). So only the wives really got to speak at length about their dearly departed husband.

Dad was laid upon the middle of a pyre boat about 3 meters long anchored in the middle of the river. Painted on the hull boat is our family coat of arms- 2 white wolves supporting a shield with a blue chevron above an 88 mm Flak 37 Gun. Below the coat of arms is our family motto, “me transire, si audes!” (which meant “cross me, if you dare!” in some long-lost ancient tongue).

Upon the boat, Dad is dressed in his old Imperial Ranger kit, with a green cloak covering his leather armor, padded trousers, and leather bracers. Even though most of his face is covered by the cloak, I could see him sporting a smug grin, as if he is fully satisfied with his life. I honestly wouldn’t be shocked to hear that the horny bastard dropped dead in the middle of a threesome.

Aside from the pile of logs and his body, the boat was also loaded with barrels of wine and blocks of cheese to accompany Dad to the afterlife. If not, well, at least the mana-beasts in the river would appreciate the fancy farewell feast.

The hour flew by quickly, and after Auntie Skera, true to her character, finished her long-winded and passionate speech about how most men are cocky little shits (and how Dad is the rare gem in that pile of shit), she proudly sauntered off the podium. After that, my mother, Natalia of House Acheron, took the podium for the final speech of the day.

After gently brushing her hand against her moist purple eyes, she begins. "I will be brief, my sisters and children. My dear husband yearns to rest forevermore and he never liked hearing stuffy speeches from self-important nobles." She shares a sad smile with us on this little joke. As the only member of nobility in the harem, Mom had a monopoly on nobility jokes (a monopoly she took advantage of all too often if you ask me~)

"Rummy of House Acheron is the love of my life. I am proud of marrying this man and bearing his children. 25 years ago, the land you are standing on was a patch of wilderness littered with ferocious mana-beasts that could effortlessly turn even the strongest Holy Paladin into an afternoon snack. He tamed that wilderness and built a city in the middle of it. Then he pacified our Elven neighbors to the north and conquered the Fortress City of Carnwennan to the east." Mom pauses briefly as she sees all of us reflecting on the tiny kingdom Dad had built with his 2 hands with pride and admiration.

"What he has accomplished in his 51 years of life is nothing short of miraculous considering his humble origins. Through hard work and sheer intellect, he has carved out a haven where anyone, even peasants and women, can live prosperously in peace. His vision for a nation based on meritocracy and innovation is a shining beacon of hope in a continent torn by civil war waged by greedy warlords."

"His only flaw, as all you know, is that he was an irredeemably horny bastard. I believe with all of my heart that if he wasn't so focused on his harem, Rummy would've conquered half the continent by now." She lets out an exasperated sigh. "He was a blessed man who has never lost a battle in his life. It was truly unfortunate that he only bothered to fight those battles when his harem was threatened."

While that is true, I don't agree that a more ambitious Rummy is necessarily a better Rummy. Dad had 23 children and 16 grandchildren, and he was a loving father to every single one of us. Dad was never too busy for us, rain or shine. He schooled us in different subjects when the weather was bad. And he took us hunting when the weather was good. If Dad was an ambitious man out to conquer the continent, would he have time for us?

Every man has a void in his heart; something he chases after. Dad's void was filled by his harem and his children, not new territory or subjects. My siblings and I benefited from that void and grew up in a loving family with a doting patriarch. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

Mom continues. "Instead, that task of unifying the continent under our family's vision of equality and prosperity now falls on all of your shoulders, my children. You all must finish what your father started. You will carry the banners of House Acheron and plant them in every castle on the continent within 5 years. You will wipe out every obstacle to our family with superior firepower and impeccable strategy. This family will hide in the Wilds no longer."

I guess since Dad's gone, there’s nothing that could restrain Mom's ambitions now. Though I seriously question her plan to realize that ambition. Does she honestly expect a bunch of kids to take over a whole continent within 5 years? Sure, we're all talented people educated by a true genius, but we lack his experience. Only 6 of us have actually participated in a real battle before. The rest of us only had some experience clearing out goblin nests and hunting wolf packs- hardly impressive military achievements.

What's the rush? Ever since the Holy Artorian Empire fell into civil war 3 years ago, things have been in the dumps. Honestly, it's not like things can get any worse out there even if we do take our sweet time getting ready. While I certainly understand her ambition, I simply don't understand her urgency...

"So farewell, my love. I know you never really wanted to build a kingdom, but you indulged my selfish dreams anyways. I will forever love you for that. Rest well, my love." Mom finishes her speech with a quivering voice.

"Emma, please send our husband off in style." Tears freely stream from her eyes as Mom finishes her farewell to Dad and finally relaxes her typically stony facade.

Auntie Emma, the first woman Dad ever married, steps up. She flicks her radiant violet hair away from her moist lake-blue eyes. Then she touches a red mana crystal the size of a puppy and begins to chant the spell incantations. As she chants, I could feel the air around me gradually heats up. After a couple of minutes, she ends the chant and whispers, "<<Blast Burn>>"

A giant fireball that easily dwarfs the pyre boat suddenly appears about 10 meters above the river and rapidly descends upon the boat.

*BOOM!*

A bright thunderous explosion rattles the bones in our bodies as it consumes Rummy of House Acheron. In a flash, the boat vanishes from our sight, seemingly replaced by sinking debris and rising steam. The mountain breeze quickly blows away the unbearably hot updraft from the explosion as if it never happened. Just like that, Dad is gone from the world… From now on, the only evidence that this great man ever existed is the family he left behind and the city he built with his own two hands.

“Bye, Dad. I’ll miss you...” I quietly whisper to myself.

My siblings and I stare at this surrealistic scene for what seems like forever until a chorus of wolf howls in the Wilds snapped us out of this reverie. Mom walks up to us and continues her announcement.

"Don't worry, my children. I know starting our campaign this quickly is not ideal, but there's a reason for that. All will be explained. Your father, with the help of all his wives, has compiled an autobiography of sorts based on journal entries and various letters dating back 36 years. This book will answer all the burning questions in your heart. In addition, we have written it so that you can experience all of our trials and tribulations yourself without the benefit of hindsight." She nods at Auntie Skera, who rolls out a cart of 23 printed books and passes them out to us.

The book is about as thick as a brick (and certainly weighs like one). It is a leatherbound book with a deep purple cover, with its title engraved in ornate silver letters. Its title? 'A Dream Harem Built With Superior Firepower'.

***

After the funeral, all 23 of us gathered in the family reading room and began to read the autobiography of Dad’s harem. Written on the preface of the book is a message from Dad to all of us:

“Hey kids,

Pops here. If you’re reading this book, it means that I’m no longer in this world. While I am sad to leave you all, I’m confident your mothers will take good care of the family in my stead. After all, they are all determined and capable women. I’m also confident that all of you will achieve greatness in your own unique ways now that you’re out of my shadow. Please know that my dying thoughts are all about you guys.

Having said that, I do have a lot of heavy-duty family secrets to tell you guys, so buckle up! The reason why I held off on telling you guys was because I wanted you all to grow up without all this doom and gloom stuff hanging over us for as long as I could. Well, I supposed I could say that was for your sake. After all, no responsible adult should let a child grow up while bearing the burdens of the world. But I knew that deep down, it was because I really just wanted to be your father, and nothing else. Sorry for this bit of selfishness.

You see, my soul wasn’t originally from this world. I was born in a different world, lived a pitiful life, and died with tons of regret in my heart. However, the gods of this world somehow got a hold of my soul and stuffed it inside of a poor 15 year old orphan who was just recently killed by some noble brat in a street fight. I was reborn as Rummy, a peasant of Carnwennan. The rest, as you all know, is history.

I bet you all have so many questions for me. So I’ll try to anticipate the likely ones and give you a quick preview of the truth.

This world I came from didn’t have magic, but we made do with overwhelmingly advanced technologies. I was one of the forge-smiths (in that world, I was called an ‘engineer’) who designed and built such marvels of technology. It was because of that training and expertise that I was able to build this city from the ground up. All of the technology you grew up taken for granted were derived in some way from my old world.

No, the country I lived in wasn’t that much better than the Holy Artorian Empire. Sure, the citizens get to pick their “Emperor”, but that “choice” is nothing but an illusion. The people truly in power always limit our choices down to 2 corrupt idiots. The honest men would never make it to the end. This pointless sideshow was designed to manufacture the legitimacy of their power while they siphon and hoard all the wealth to themselves and their spoiled children. The bitterness I felt toward the guys at the top migrated here with me when I died (the first time) and made me the cynical person I am.

How did I die originally? Well, t’is a tragic story. As with most tragic stories, mine started with a childhood love. Her name was Wendy. Our budding love was cut short when a drunk man crashed his carriage into her family’s carriage on one rainy night. She never stood a chance. Unfortunately, the drunk man’s family was rich and powerful, so the fucking bastard never spent a day in prison.

This gross miscarriage of justice affected me deeply. However, I didn’t lose my faith in the systems and rules of my society just yet. I thought the system was flawed, but it still upholds the social contract and benefits everyone in general. And if good people like me work hard to fix the flaws, we would be that much closer to a better society. In that spirit, I became an engineer. My first project was to design a self-driving carriage that would take over the driving when it detects excess alcohol within the driver. I figured that if I can eliminate drunk driving itself, rich assholes wouldn’t need to bribe the officials in the first place when they carelessly kill somebody.

With that mindset, I’ve designed and built many inventions that would prevent tragedies like what happened with Wendy. Over the years, I’ve put in countless hours working, to the great detriment of my dating life. Not that it mattered- I still wasn’t over her even after all that time. All the plans and dreams we’ve made together, they still feel so fresh in the corner of my mind. Hell, Wendy’s dream of raising a big family still resonates in my heart even today.

Despite that, I’ve always thought that I would eventually get over this tragedy, marry a nice girl, and have kids of my own. Maybe I’ll even name one after her! Meanwhile, I would get by with tons of anime, webnovels, and video games. I even got into historical reenactment. It’s a hobby where lots of people dress up as soldiers from a major war and replay famous battles with replica weapons from that period. It’s a silly hobby, but I felt like I was fighting for justice and making the world a better place by ridding it of evil people.

But I realized too late that my society was in fact ruled by such evil people. Those filthy fuckers pit half the citizenry against the other half through savvy manipulation and constant propaganda. They watched us tear each other apart over pointless issues like who gets to use what bathroom while pilfering our wealth and poisoning our environment. That’s when I realized that no amount of engineering can fix a society that broken.

After that, I looked at my bosses and my company with a cynical eye. It was then that I realized a project I was forced to work on was nothing but a sham. In fact, I was roped in solely because of my sterling reputation- the very same reputation that will be destroyed when people realize that the entire project was built upon a pack of lies. Before I was able to turn in all the evidence I’ve gathered from the company, I was killed by a thug they hired.

I died with bitterness and regret in my heart. I had so many dreams that were left unfulfilled because I believed that it was more important for me to be a good soldier and fight for the good of society. I thought I did so much good, but the world I lived in was so shitty that it barely made a dent. Well, none of that mattered to me as I got Russian-suicided (it’s a common practice in my old world where the victim gets thrown out a window after getting shot twice in the chest) just so these assholes can get slightly richer.

And that’s when the real story begins...

I know you’re wondering what my life story has anything to do with the fall of the Empire and the resulting civil war going on now, but I can assure you it is all connected. So please enjoy my tale as you learn the truth behind this world. Since this is a story about me and my wives, there will be some scenes inappropriate for kids and prudes alike. I will add a [R-18] tag to the chapter name so they know when to skip it. Ethan, I’m counting on you to shield the eyes of your younger siblings and censor as needed. After all, you’re the responsible one~

Forever your loving father,

-Rummy of House Acheron

PS: I know the metric system that I taught you guys wasn’t invented until I founded the city. But for the ease of reading, I will avoid using any of the old Imperial System measurements. The very thought of having to use a measuring system based on some jackass Emperor’s foot or arm deeply irritates me as a man of science.”

***

Dammit, Dad just called me out by name and made me the smut police. That’s so not fair! I’m not even the eldest of his children. Aubrey, Braxton, Chloe and Dominic are all older than me. They should be the one doing this, not me!

Gah! I knew being the responsible child was going to bite me in the ass someday.

My siblings started to snicker at me when they finished reading the preface. Aubrey didn’t even pretend to be sympathetic and literally laughed out loud in my face. Dammit, sis, can’t you at least pretend to act like a 24 year old?

Sigh, whatever. I have so many questions after reading Dad’s preface. Why would the gods of this world go through all that trouble to bring a seemingly ordinary guy into this world? Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure building a harem and having nightly threesomes in the Western Wilderness weren’t part of the “divine plan”. There’s gotta be more to this...

Only one way to find out!

[Turns page*]