Even my friend Edward Ramirez helped me without any boundaries. I released the very core of my existence to the people who loved me. Edward and Ayah were the two human beings that always lifted me up for whatever problems I was entangled with my vices.

Edward Ramirez and Ayah Isabel Gonzales nursed my soul to be back again. Knowing that I can revive my spirit and resume the ambition I have had. They stayed for a while and encouraged me all the way.

"Best friend, are you alright now? I'm very happy about the changes...I mean, the changes in you. Glad to know that you can work again. I'll tell our manager about your comeback... You know, he's asking about you and I lied, knowing that I want you to work there again. Yes, my friend?" Edward asked me one day.

"Yes my friend, now I realized... how foolish I was...how weak," I answered crying.

I started to concentrate on my studies for two consecutive years through which I gave real meaning to them. The vital things that matter most to me were the ones that triggered my motivation to grow. The development that I almost conquered was reeling to be mine; for I excelled in all my subjects, extra-curricular activities, and friends. It's nonetheless a revival!

I joined the college publication to explore the possibilities of motivating my inner self to reveal what's inside of me. A written form of expressing my thoughts and feelings; poetry, short stories, and drama guild, healed it gradually. Most of my time, I spent with these activities, not knowing that I was changing the values of my life.

My life now was the reverse of what I experienced during my first year in the city.

The first free verse poem that I constructed was entitled: "Closer to Me"

Your beauty captures my heart; your soul surrounds me wherever I am. Perhaps, you are the Goddess of beauty? I feel you are endless.

I feast my vision on you and turn towards the light. Perhaps by chance but definite in direction.

I am drawn by the deepest awareness of you which probes my heart to think of you and feel your soul throughout my life.

I know so very little yet feel so much, Oh, it's a great feeling to see your soul! Unable to gaze at your beauty, my soul provides to my heart, a vision...Unable to touch you.

Our soul's touch sends us to pleasure and our bodies shiver with ecstasy in the oneness of perfection!

I am amazed by you, as you are, you are not far...you are close...

And I held you so tenderly, closer each moment, closer to you!

XXX

The changes took their toll when I met someone who can turn the tide. I was in my fourth year in college when I met Danielle Gustilo at another university. She was a beautiful; business-minded kind of person, a classy type, and came from a well-to-do family. My flamboyant character attracted her when we were together. She did not know that I was only baiting her for a refuge; investment and money. I courted her for three months. She was totally in love with me. I learned to love her the way she wanted it to be. I am a person who can play things with to perfection if I wanted to. I was incorporating myself into her dreams. She knew my meager standing and offered to help me; with my college tuition fees, for my daily undertaking, and even for sex. I accepted her offer that I even asked for more. I tasted her beauty to the fullest. I cannot fathom my insatiable desires that even the mountains mourned for my soul. The greedy ambition confronts my being to continue living in the craziness of man.

She gave me what I wanted for her, the satisfaction, the heaven...but, let me set the scene, just for your total information.

Imagine.... the night's cool, brisk, quiet, and heavy with the fresh rain. A small breeze swayed through the bottom of the slightly open windows, bringing in the scent of the sweet fresh rain. It mingled scantily with the fragrance of fruity-sweet-apple emanating from the several candles strategically placed around the room that flickers slowly in the breeze. The pale blue curtains danced and tickled in the skimming breeze.

The cool breeze touched the thick blue carpet, mingling the scent of the beautiful rain with the fragrance already placed into the weaves. A candle sits nestled in one corner of the room on a black wrought iron glass top table, illuminating the pale blue behind it.

A candle sits on the two windows across the room from each other, the flames dancing tightly in time and in tune with one another, but never going out. Two more candles sit at the center of two end tables snuggled close to either side of the bed. The faintest music of wind chimes that hang in the last window behind me can be heard over the sweet tinker and echo of the rain. Our king-sized bed sits in the center of the room, draped in glossy red satin sheets, topped with a thick red feather blanket, with several plush feather pillows lining the cherry wood headboard. The light was so very dim, but even so, I can see everything clearly in the muted glow.

I can see Danielle sitting on the bed, head resting comfortably on the plush pillows. She's wearing a red silk nightgown with her body curve drawn from inside. Her feet are crossed and propped up on the folded-down blanket. Her arms are crossed over her soft breasts pulling tightly against the taut fabric.

I was standing naked in front of the bed looking at her.

I wore the crooked sexy smile that she had always found so dreamy on me and it always made her weak at the knees. I stretched my muscular body, arms raised over my head and her feet reaching towards me. My body relaxed again and scooted down a little, still looking at her.

Her eyes slowly slide down my body, then even more leisurely back up. Again, her gaze lingered on my muscular body.

I stepped up towards the high bed and put one leg up on the blanket and painstakingly slowly I raised myself up from the floor to stand before her on the bed. I slowly rocked side to side; grinding my hips down slowly towards the bed until my knees were touching the feather blanket, then leaned down forward on my hands until I was on all fours before her. I came forward a little, and with my one hand, I began to untie the little satin ribbon that was holding the top of her nightgown. I let my greedy eyes get even hungrier at the sight of her supple breasts."Do you like what you see?" she said in a husky whisper.

Just the sight of licking my dry lips makes her know that I do.

The music slows down a little to another song, and now I know what I want to do. Somehow it was there inside me all along; I just didn't know how to get it out.

That animal passion that I wanted to use when teasing her all night long was finally coming out in me.

With the beat of the music, I explored her body with ardent pleasure starting from her collarbone, gently nipping and biting her as I slowly began to kiss her body.

The music changes again and I can't hold on any longer. I reached her head pulling close to me and kiss her while in a kneeling position. I gently bite her lip as I kiss her and feel the passionate searing pain of her nails on my back. I draw in a sharp breath, not from the pain from exploring. She arched her back up into my hands, feeling her nails lingering on my lower back. I looked at her and she barely nods back to me, but it is enough for her to know I'll finally let us into this dance.

Her arms are around my shoulders now as she feels me move more on top of her, feeling every curve of her body welding with mine. Our breaths get shallow and quickened, but neither of those things matters right now. All that matters in this one moment is Danielle and me. She began to close her eyes when I begin to enter her lovely heaven. I whisper to her to open her eyes and look into my eyes, and my first blow made her totally energized.

We rock back and forth in this sensual dance. I hugged her so tight and kissed her so hard. We collapsed together, our passions spent, and gave her a silver ring as an engagement. She rested in my arms breathing slowly and contentedly. We soon fall asleep in each other's arms, knowing to myself that I captured her, like a prisoner in a cage!

XXX