Asher the Insane
Asher the Insane
Author: Solomon Cliff
01 - Asher the Isekai-ed

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- oh hey, it doesn't hurt anymore," I said, coughing to clear my throat from screaming out my lungs just a moment before.

At ‘The moment before’ I felt an excruciating pain but now it had just vanished.

I padded myself down. There didn't seem to be anything wrong, so why was I shrieking like a banshee then?

Huh, I can't remember what happened.

I'll just have to retrace my steps.

I need to think.

For a job interview at the supermarket, I was outside...

Because being a NEET, or more specifically, a full-blown hikikomori, doesn't pay a lot of money, and I ran out of dough.

Something awful happened.

I was overcome with chills and shuddered at the sensation I experienced while attempting to remember.

"Aww dang, now I know. I was run over!" I yelled out.

Not by a freaking car or even a truck but by a damn carriage.

It was my own fault anyhow, I didn't look both ways twice when crossing the road, and then BAM. 

Came out of nowhere too, or I was just blind. Who doesn't see a horse-drawn carriage coming? Or hear the clip-clopping of horse hooves.

Oh man, I was only eighteen, how could I already be dead?

I really felt like crying

Where even was I?

I looked around.

This place reminded me of that place Kazuma got when he met Aqua or the place your character stands in most character creation menus, though in comparison to both, this was even more void-ish.

What the fuck. This is pretty scary.

"Be not afraid," I heard a disembodied woman's voice say.

I flinched, of course, I was afraid. 

I spun around to find whoever was talking.

There was a woman, and she was beautiful, with long blonde silky hair and them big oppai which got me sweating.

She wore a thin but very elegant dress that accented her petite figure.

Exactly to my taste.

Awooga.

I’d waifu her.

"I am-" she wanted to continue but I held out my hand for her to stop talking.

"Stop, stop right there. Before you say or do anything I have a few questions and general assumptions. Is this the afterlife? I must be dead, right? Or, on second thought, perhaps not. I might be having a coma-like dream, you know? Does it really matter?"

“Well-”

“Does it matter? What am I saying, of course it matters a great deal, to me, at least. It's me who is here not anyone else, right? So, is this heaven? Hell? On which religion or whatever is this place based on? Could you tell me? Wait, you're not THE God, right? No way, I mean, just look at yourself, you’re a hot babe not some kind of old omnipotent man with a beard. ...You could be Satan or maybe you're an angel or a demon. Mhh, I always liked the thought that Saint Peter would welcome me to the pearly gates or some other kind of old-looking man type of being. Is this the place of judgment? Are you going to condemn me to hell or something? Or are you another kind of goddess or some divine being?"

“Could I-”

“Is this just my brain fucking with me? In a last-ditch effort to keep me alive, my body kicks into overdrive and floods my brain with a variety of chemicals and hormones.

The religions I know could just be the wrong ones. You look human, in my eyes. Further consideration suggests that this might be a ruse for reasons that I am not yet aware of, wouldn't you agree?" I put my hand under my chin in thought, "so, what is it?"

She was obviously exhausted.

Perhaps I spoke too quickly.

She looked uncomfortable and said, "You should sit down first."

I continued to stand where I was because there were obviously no chairs or any kind of other items in the empty space.

"It is true that you died, yet this is not the afterlife of your world."

"What then? Are you a goddess?"

"Yes."

"I'll hazard a guess that your name is Storm, Ember, Minerva, or something similar?"

She gave a brief cough to gather herself.

"Let me start over now.

I believe your time has come too soon, Mortal Cyrus! I'm here to offer you another chance! I'm Alexandra, the goddess of second chances, vindication, and redemption. You had a life of darkness, and when you started to make changes for the better, it was too late for you. I am moved by your actions, and I want you to live your life as you intended — in the light."

I felt a big rush of dread and panic overwhelm me. 

My knees buckled and I had to sit, or rather, lay down for a while.

This all wasn't my brain flooding my system with hormones and chemicals.

She is a goddess, meaning gods are actually real, like really real beings in the universe, though they seemed very different from what I have known from my own world.

Religion as I knew it was a sham.

Or wait, all religion could be true, with all the gods being real, like the Roman and Egyptian pantheons.

And if she could isekai or reincarnate me, then that meant that either other worlds are real or time travel is possible too.

Like different timelines? Parallel universes?

I lay there. I needed a moment.

"I can give you a new life in the past, present, or future or even in a different world. Which kind of world would you like?"

"System Anime," I said stumbling on my words.

“What?”

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