The Spurious of Psyche

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

That's the sound that woke me up from the darkness that shorud my eyes. The blurry gaze I made was so annoying, I instinctively tried to grab my glasses, only to feel that I couldn't move them. Then I see fog, then realized I was wearing an oxygen mask and realized I was in a hospital.

'Holy shit is he awake?' Vann's thoughts was playing in my mind. Why is he here, and... Did I sleep that long?

"Get Doc! Hurry Vann!!" This time it was Seth, he sounded so frantic. And it was actually his voice that spoke.

A few minutes later, a forceful hand began to open my eye lids and flashed a light directly at my cornea.

"Hey, you alive yet or something?" The familiar sadistic tone of Doctor Belforma made my eye twitch.

"He's awake. Though he is still weak, given that the impact made him lose consciosness and the fact a blunt object struck his head." Doc said nonchalantly. And that made me annoyed.

"Is he going to be all right though?" Vann asked, and this is the first time I hear him have concern.

"Vann Alencon... Concerned, never thought I'd live to see the day." Doctor Belforma said in a voice filled with false awe. And I swear I heard Seth snicker.

I tried to move but, just couldn't... Am I crippled or something?

"Relax yourself Marc, your body is undergoing a stasis recover procedure. It's just surprising you regained consciousness all of a sudden." Doc informed me.

I could only blink at his statement... So I did lost. I really am pathetic. Losing to my estranged little brother, I mean... I'm used to losing all the time to my younger siblings, both real and adopted, but... Am I really okay with that?

That's the problem... I don't know the answer. Am I really okay just by standing behind the shadows of my younger siblings? I wanted to protect them, but that's it. Did I ever have an end goal to call my own?

Seth and Vann stayed with me in the room, but their incessant arguing and trashtalks reminded me so much of the orphanage. And that's what... I don't want to hear.

'Hey, if you could only keep your voices a bit low, that would be great.' I complained telepathically and the talking ceased. Hang on... what did I just do?

"Dude... You heard that too right?" Vann asked with a shudder.

"That was creepy." Seth agreed and I felt a nerve pop in me.

'Oh brother... are you two afraid of ghosts?' I asked and they both retreated from me.

"Marc please don't haunt us." Vann pleaded and I almost laughed telepathically.

'Can you remove this oxygen mask? So I don't have to talk to your heads.' I asked them.

"No can do Marc... Doc's Stasis Healing would be rendered useless if we remove your mask. Actually, your whole body, both in and out, are in stasis." Seth explained. "That oxygen mask is keeping you alive."

'What kind of treatment is this?!' I shout in their heads and they laughed.

"To be honest, Doc made the right call. Because after your loss against Theo, we thought... maybe you'd want to take revenge on him." Vann said and I mentally sighed.

'What on earth happened and how many days have passed?' I asked them and I could tell they looked at each other.

"You've been out for three weeks Marc." Vann said and I was stunned. Three weeks?! What happened to my grades?

"And sad to say, even if you are in the hospital, your grades... plumetted, they don't give out special treatment to us Class-B students. You could lose your scholarship if you don't get a high rank in the Preliminary Exams." Seth informed me, adding more of the dread.

'And when is it?' I asked.

"Two weeks from now." Vann said and I was crestfallen. Why did I ever agree to do this?

"That's not all... There are wild rumors about you." Vann said.

"Vann!" Seth warned but Vann continued:

"They said that you tried to attack Theo because you were 'blinded by rage' when you were searching for Kaiser, and Theo became a hero to the whole school. Stopping a raging beast who would use his powers to abuse his fellow students" Vann said.

I didn't say anything... I just gained infamy thanks to Theo... again.

'I'm sure your new member is living in cloud nine huh?' I asked bitterly.

"Not exactly... by the looks of things, Lady Emma and the boss are extremely disappointed at the Task Force." Vann shuddered. "I mean... look Marc, don't be mad but-"

'I know Eula used her powers to amplify Theo's strength and amplified my anxiety.' I flat out informed them.

"Wait you knew? But why didn't you say anything?" Vann shouts out his question.

'In this case... I don't want anyone figuring out my powers before I do. Plus, it isn't going to work on my favors.' I said in a simple manner.

"That's not the point Marc, you were cheated and forced to fight in unfavorable conditions!" Vann said but Seth finally stops him.

"Marc's decision was right. Without any evidence of tampering, it would only damage Marc's already abyssmal reputation." Seth said the truth, but it did hurt about my bad rep.

"But that was just foul play! And don't get me started on what Theo said, I mean sure... He need exposed your weakness, but that was completely below the belt." Vann was malding but it was refreshing to see him this angry and not smiling all the time.

"Theo wanted to apologize afterwards, but... Doc wouldn't let him come in. Even Blake was forbidden to visit." Seth said. "And honestly... I think Doc made a valid point. Blake could've prevented this, he was the leader, and Theo wouldn't have resorted to that kind of play."

'It doesn't matter. I... Actually think that they made a valid point too. I'm too overprotective of my brothers. And... I actually feel like they really do hate me.' I said.

"Marc... Don't say that." Seth said. "I mean, it's only natural for us older siblings to be protective of our little siblings... even if they are more of smart alecks."

But I know Seth was just trying to cheer me up. I respect that, but I wanted to be alone.

'Hey... I want to get some sleep. Can... you two leave?' I asked.

"S-sure dude. Hey listen, about the team, don't sweat about it, I'm just glad you're still alive." Vann said and he and Seth left the room.

Alone again... And three weeks? I wonder... Did Dad hear this? Or did Elios or Conner or Keith hear about this? I just assumed Hal told everyone but... I don't know how to make of it. I'm just... confused and tired.

Then I had another dream. A connection rather, and I was back at the foothills of an unknown glade, wild flower petals billowing off with the breeze. And I was face to face with Big me again.

"Hey... big me." I said with solemn distress.

"Hey... what's the matter?" He asked.

"I blew it... I... Didn't become a member of Seth's organization." I told him. And then it hit me... What will happen to the future mes?!

But instead of being afraid, he sighs and I felt him ruffling my head.

"Judging from your expression and what you told me little me, I'm guessing our little theory of temporal hive connection is incorrect." He said. And I was even more confused.

"What?" I began and he held up his hand, and sure enough... I was slowly getting what he means.

"Our connection, our... Mental Hive. It doesn't transcend Time, but Space. In other words..." He said.

"A parallel world?" I finished his sentence and he nods.

"I noticed it too late too, the older us confirmed as much as well. We are connected by our powers, and since you're the 28th connection, that means..."

"There are 28 worlds." I said.

"But that's not the point... The point is, all of us are experiencing different things, in Big me in World 9, he is part of the Scifios Family. And on World 25, the big us said there was no Scifios family." Big me, (okay this is confusing, Marc 27. There... Simplified.) said.

"Okay so that means... What exactly?" I asked and Marc 27 smiled.

"It means you're free to do whatever you want little me. If you don;t want to join Incognito, then its fine. Just live life the way you like." He said.

"That's... going to be a problem." I sighed and lay down on the grassy plain, looking at the starless dusk of my inner world.

"Hit me." Marc 27 smiled as he sat down beside me.

I told him everything that has happened. How I really feel, how I don't know how to process these feelings. And my problems with dealing with these things. And my past, the past that I never wanted to talk about. The past of becoming Marc Callahan Noan and abandoning my identity as a Scifios.

"I just don't know what to do." I finally said and I just covered my face.

"Honestly speaking little me... This is a first for me too. I was left alone because the Scifios here are all but dead, but I had the Noans with me. But in your case? Both families are alive, and living as both and not as one name... it can be really confusing." He said. "And I can't imagine the pain you're living right now."

"Sometimes I wished that there was someone who could tell me what to do." I wailed. And Marc 27 just hugged me.

"Try talking to dad... He'll understand. After all, if he is anything like mine, then he'll be at your side no matter what." He said.

"I don't want to disappoint him." I said suddenly.

"Little me, if there's one thing all of us has in common, is that we don't let any stranger's prejudice get to us. Sure, we know our shortcomings, but that doesn't mean we're going to shirk from them. I mean, I still get branded a pariah here, but at least... Dad and the others in the orphanage are waiting for me. And I know your dad and everyone back home will have your back." Marc 27 said as he gave me a huge grin. That was when I began to sob really hard.

"You're hanging out with Vann too much haven't you?" I sniffled and he laughs warmly.

"He has that effect on me that's for sure. Listen, it doesn't matter if you didn't get in Incognito, what matters is, you have people who knows the real you. And if you want them to really know you... Start by telling them how you really feel. Sure they'll be disappointed, but not at you. Because what you're feeling now, is valid. You were so lost before, and when you finally found a path, it was after your heart rending conversation." He said. "So it was completely unnatural for others to see you accept it without doubting. Be assertive with your feelings Little me, just do it in moderation."

I was about to ask more, but when the surrounding area began to swirl and Marc 27 was beginning to evaporate.

"Looks like you're waking up. Hey little me, can I ask for a favor?" He asked and I indulged him.

"If we have another talk soon. Tell me your story again so far. I... Want to learn from a younger version of me." He said and I nod.

"I-I'll try." I said timidly and the last thing I saw was him smiling as the whole dimension disappears.

I woke up again in the same hospital bed, this time, the oxygen mask is gone and I could feel tears streaming from my face.

"Finally awake and the first thing you do is cry." Doc said and I covered my face, red from embarassment.

"Can I go now?" I asked rather quickly.

"Hold your chariots, psychic kid." He said and taking out what appears to be a dampener.

"What's with the dampener?" I asked.

"Too many eyes. Especially for you, and you have guests." Doc said and the door opened and in came Lady Emma, an older version of Erika Narukami, and Headmaster Auron.

"W-what's going on?!" I asked, my whole body suddenly went on the defensive.

"Relax kid. You just got out of extreme stasis, and your powers won't do you any good here." Doc said as he gathers his things, the next minute, he left, but not before glaring at the three adults.

"I see you've recovered. Good... Reginald won't be after my blood after all." the headmaster sighs with relief. Wait, how come he knows my dad's name?

"Sir." Lady Emma massaged the bridge of her nose, as if trying her best not to say anything unflattering.

"Let's ignore the two teachers kid, I'm Sayako Narukami, Deputy Head of the SHF Investigations Unit. I guess Seto never mentioned me yet huh?" Miss Sayako said.

Seto? Oh... Seth.

"Am I going to be part of the Narukami Clan or something? Because I've already met 4 of you." I said and Sayako smirked.

"Heh, if you only know how many siblings and relatives I have, you'll reconsider ever joining the Narukami clan. But no, I'm not here to make any more relatives. I'm here purely on business." She said and offers a tablet.

"I'll be frank. I want you to join Incognito." She said and I froze. That name again... Incognito. I looked at Lady Emma and Sir Auron for explanations and Lady Emma takes a deep breath.

"Essentially speaking, Incognito is a special class, handpicked by me, Sayako, or Sir Auron. They are... our personal field agents." Lady Emma said, and I was even more perplexed.

"To put it in simple terms, Class Incognito exists as our eyes, ears, and arms in matters that we personally cannot handle. May it be information gathering, assassination attempts, and total society upheaval." Sir Auron yawned and Lady Emma glared at him.

"Kay, I swear you need to take this recruitment seriously." Lady Emma groaned.

"Okay I'll bite. What will I be doing, I mean, most of the positions are already taken am I right?" I asked, my mind was already hurting just by talking with them, and the fact that I cannot use my telepathy.

"Well... there is one more position, however, that position will be the most difficult job. However, the incentives are worth it." Sir Auron said wistfully.

"What incentives?" I asked with a suspicious tone.

"Additional grades, free medical fees, and even data wiping of their absences are among the incentives." Miss Sayako said and I was perplexed by the data wiping part.

"And among those, there are times that you won't be attending class at all. But the position you'll be getting will have more than the incentives mentioned." Lady Emma said. "Where there are dangers, rewards are also present."

I pondered about it. And I was scared... why would I risk my life with this crap? It doesn't even concern me anymore. Kaiser? I mean, I won't let him get away with it, but what if I just do what he says and live quietly?

"You're still torn... That's understandable. Then how about a wager?" Lady Emma asked and I flinched. I hated that word.

"No." I immediately said, not even bothering to hide the vehemence in my voice. Miss Sayako looked at me with sympathy, as if she knows how I feel.

"That's a rather abrupt reply... You didn't even hear the terms." Sir Auron said.

"I don't like to hear nor want to associate with that word ever again." I said and looked away.

"I see... Then how about this. Mr. Noan, what if I give you an individual task. One where if you were to succeed, I will make sure that your absences will be treated as if it never happened." Sir Auron offered, earning the mortified looks of Lady Emma and Miss Sayako.

"But that's... unfair." I said and Sir Auron tuts.

"So was your exam last time. Yes Marc, I know you were blindsided by the whole task force. Minus Vann, they were given repercusions." Sir Auron informed me.

"I know. But I don't want to stoop that low. I have my standards too." I said, dishonesty leaves a bad taste in my mouth to be honest.

"How noble of you." Sir Auron yawned. As if he was expecting that would be my answer to his offer.

"How about you prove it to us? With little information as possible while Preliminary exams are coming up." Miss Sayako offers.

"H-hang on... I never agreed to anything yet!" I said.

"Consider this... a second chance, Marc. We know you've made a bet with Seth, do you wish to keep your secret?" Lady Emma said.

"No! And stop putting words in my mouth!" I said. "And why are you so invested in me?! I'm not Elios nor am I Theo! So why me?!"

The three of them looked puzzeled and I covered my mouth. Why did I say that?

"We understand about Elios, but... Why are you brining up Theodore Scifios?" Miss Sayako asked, her expression was highly suspicious of the words I will say.

"I... I can't... I don't want to remember, I don't want to relive it... not again!!" I said, hiding my face from them, the horrid memories of snow, the voice, that I have pinned away in the back of my memories, they're resurfacing. Like dead bodies over a lake.

"Call Luca..." Lady Emma said and Miss Sayako calls in Doc. He then injected a sedative that was making me calm down and lose consciousness slowly.

"Sleep a bit kid..." Doc's voice was murky and I fell into a deep sleep.

What do I want to do? I've... never considered anything as a dream of my own. I only came to Lupus Alma because Elios needed support. He had a dream, and that was to become a Professor. Keith wanted to be an Empathic Doctor, and Conner wanted to be a member of the SHF.

But what about me? Did I... just live my life just to protect my adoptive brothers? Was that even an end goal? No wonder they see me as a hindrance and a bother. I was just a willing captive audience in their lives.

I awoke from the sedative, feeling so lost and so done with wallowing in self-pity. I was just feeling lost.

I looked at the mirror, my black hair was now medium length and shaggy, my crimson red eyes, which was dull from the sedative, was slowly recovering. The muscles I developed from working out was disappearing after staying three weeks in recovery stasis.

A familiar ring startled me. And I just realized my phone was there. The person calling was...

"Dad?" I answered the phone.

"MARC! Are you okay? Hal called and said you were out cold after a school activity!" He said in machine gun speed.

"I-I'm fine dad... don't worry." I said. But my voice was tinged with guilt.

"Marc... You know you could always tell me anything.. right?" He asked, then I remembered Marc 27's words.

"Dad? Why did you decide to adopt me?" I asked him. It all began with my adoption, I thought I made peace with that issue, but now? I was having doubts.

"Because I wanted you to know what family feels like. My sons adore you, my wife adores you as well."

"But aren't I... too overprotective? That's why, even now, Elios and the others hate me?" I asked.

"You are a bit overprotective, because you love them Marc. Your desire to protect those you love, that's what I admire about you. Even now... You still talk about them eventhough you knew they were secretly angry at you." He said. "Tell me Marc... when you first came Lupus Alma, all you wanted to do is make sure Elios was all right, correct?"

"Yeah... pretty pathetic right?" I laughed sadly.

"Contrary, you'd make a good bodyguard." Dad said and I was shocked on what he said.

"B-bodyguard?" I asked.

"That's right, or maybe even a Sentinel for the SHF. Jobs that include protecting someone or someplace. Marc... your desire to protect, why not start there?" Dad advised.

"But... you aren't mad about me not being able to take over the orphanage?" I asked.

"Elios and Keith are taking over this place in my stead. Because first and foremost, I will never dump this task to you because... I want you to live a life of your own choice, unbound from this place. You are an orphan of the Noan Orphanage, and as tradition, you must always spread the love you gained from the home to others." Dad told me. And I was crying.

"I mean it in a nice way Marc, so please... Live a life you want. And if you want to keep protecting us, and that's what you want. Then so be it. Know that I will always have your back." Dad said and he drops the call.

'I need some air...' I told myself and wore a black jacket over my white shirt. I discarded the hospital gown's pants in favor of fresh pants and sneakers. The chilly night air was enough to keep me awake, after that conversation with dad, I wasn't sure on what to do anymore.

As I wandered aimlessly, I stumbled upon the city's park. Somehow... it reminded me of the park at Lysensa. But today, there was no one but me. Not even the night crickets, nor the passing cars. It was just... pure serenity and loneliness.

I sat down by the park's empty benches, the moon reflecting on the fountain, the ambiance was peaceful... Somehow it made me feel better.

Now then... What do I want to do with my life? Simply living as my brothers' guardian wasn't enough. Nor was it even a goal to begin with.

I looked at my reflection again amidst the rippling water, before, I was afraid to look at myself. Fearing that my existence is nothing more but an error. I couldn't bear with it, so I ran. Ran away from the truth, chose to cower behind the covers whenever my memories of the past began to haunt me. Eventhough I told my adoptive family that I was fine, I wasn't. Did... Did I ever trust them? Or, did I trust myself for that matter as well?

"Excuse me... I'm lost." A young girl's voice said from my back and spooked me, making me jumped inside the fountain.

I coughed out as I splashed water around me, the little girl was perplexed when she looked at me. Her light blue eyes sparkeled amidst the full moon, and her hat was tucking her hair, as if she doesn't want to be seen.

"You're weird... Why are you taking a bath at the park's fountain?" She asked and I got out of the fountain.

"You startled me as all..." Wait, why am I explaining it to her.

"Okay... But where am I? I just want to visit my brother, but I got lost." She said.

"Is your brother a student or an adult?" I asked her.

"He's a student. A first year to be exact." She smiled with pride "My big brother is the smartest and most handsome brother ever!"

I smiled at her. She was so pure and innocent.

"But why are you here alone?" I asked her and she pouts.

"My brother doesn't want me to visit him, no matter how much I ask him. Now I'm here and there's nothing he can do anymore!" She smiled with certain victory that even I laughed.

"You mean you got here on your own?" I asked and she shakes her head.

"I have Rex with me." She said.

"Rex?" I asked and she shows me a star pendant. The top was pitch black and the other rays were red.

"I have an older brother, but I never met him. My brother told me that he hasn't either, but mam told me that his name was Rex Edan. So I call this star as Rex, knowing that my brother is watching over me."

"Anyways... Can I ask for your help? Can you take me to the Lazulis Palace? I tested my ability and accidentally warped here." She said innocently.

"Sure... But are you sure you want to follow me? A complete stranger?" I asked her and she smiled.

"You're too clumsy to be a kidnapper. Plus, you've wasted too much time too. So you're good in my books." She said and fair enough, I led her towards Lazulis Palace.

"Do you have any siblings?" She asked after minutes of silence.

"I do. Well, I have three stepbrothers, but they treat me like real family." I told her.

"I wish Rex was still alive... I want another brother." She said.

"Why? What's wrong with your brother?" I asked.

"He's so overprotective. Like, I can protect myself now! I'm 7!" She complained.

"But... Aren't you still too young?" I asked and she pouts.

"I am young, I know that! But he should just trust me!" She said and then it hit me. I too, was too overprotective of the three. To the point that I stop them from exploring too much.

"I guess... We just want to be good brothers." I said and she looked at me with sad eyes.

"Did you and your brothers fight?" She asked and I shook my head.

"It only dawned to me that I am a bad brother. I never once trusted my brothers in doing the things they want to do. I was too... controlling, especially to my Elios." I said. Lots of times, Elios and I never fought, but if we do, it was as if we began a cold war. The tension was intense, because Elios was doing something too extreme and I just want to protect him.

"I wonder if they'll forgive me one day?" I asked her as I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Sorry, I'm getting emotional over here."

"You're a good brother. My brother would never admit things like this, even to my mam and da." She sighs. "He has so many secrets. I would know, he keeps it in his diary."

I looked at her and she looked pretty smug about reading her brother's diary. Then I saw a cafe nearby and heard her stomach rumbling.

"Want something to eat?" I chuckled as she nods cutely.

I ordered her a batch of fresh madeleines and an extra sweet hot chocolate, (via telepathy). She was surprised I didn't even ask her what she wanted but she took them anyways. I jsut ordered a whole w and black coffee and the little girl looked at me.

"You like that bitter stuff?" She asked and I laughed.

"My brothers have the same expression whenever I drink my coffee black. Truth is I am quite fond of the black roast. I dunno why, but sweet things make me sick." I said.

"I see... that's too bad. My brother makes the sweetest cakes and drinks." She said proudly and I couldn't help but smile.

We finished our meal and she said she was getting sleepy, so I offered her a piggyback ride. She obliged and was snoozing away at my shoulder.

But as I got near the Lazulis Palace, the security team was searching around frantically and calling out a certain name.

"Miss Lucy! Where are you?!"

Lucy? Must be a coincidence.

"Hey... We're here." I woke up my passenger and she groaned.

"Are we? Oh no! They're all searching for me aren't they?" She asked.

So much for coincidence...

She climbed down and went for the front entrance, but not before facing me again.

"I haven't introduced myself. I'm Lucy Allyna Scifios. Thank you for everything clumsy mister!" She said and turns away runs for the security team.

I couldn't help but smile. She pulled a fast one on me. But it wasn't a bad experience... Granted, she did help me clear my head a bit.

I returned to the hospital, and waiting for me was a pissed off Doc and a smiling Sir Auron.

"Well well... where have you been taking a stroll huh?" Doc asked and gripped my head.

"S-stop stop!!!" I pleaded and he did after I was forced to sit down.

"Why do you look pleased, Marc?" Sir Auron asked.

"About that job position sir... Can I prove myself after Prelims?" I asked and he wore a huge grin on his face.

"Now that's an interesting proposition, why do you want to do that?" He asked.

"I just... want to disappear from the spotlight, and from now on, I shall trust my brothers. Because someone taught me, that younger siblings surprise us in more ways than one." I said and Sir Auron claps his hands.

"You already have the mindset going, now let's see you put it to action. Good luck Marc Callahan Noan, your examination of becoming my Left-Hand shall start!"

That night in the hospital, days of suffering, months of agony, years of strife.

I felt more pain than I ever would have. And I know I will be subjected to even more pain in the coming days. Am I afraid? I am. But who wouldn't be afraid? I am risking myself for this endeavor, and to get my revenge from Kaiser. I need to hone myself.

Also, I need to prove everyone. To the headmaster, to Lady Emma, to Miss Sayako. And to the Scifios Family. That I am not someone who should be pushed around. I may stumble, hate myself, even belittle myself. But so long as I remember who I am... I know I can do this.

Because... I am Marc Callahan Noan. A big brother. Someone who will do everything to keep the things I love safe.

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