“Playing the role of someone else is hard, until you start forgetting who you are.”

CHAPTER IV: The Army and His Troupe; Details About the Country, Donn Heriota

    ON THE SECOND crimson-carpeted floor of the cobblestone castle situated yet another big chamber. I was inside. We were inside: Raul, Beto, and I, with this young warrior lady. She followed us up here in the room where the king and queen presently occupy. I had no problems with that. I couldn’t care less about anything except the way I had to bestow myself to the bloodline, claiming I sure am their child.

   I was looking at the two most important people of the town right now. Their eyes were on fire—not the type that could burn me alive. It was filled with compassion and woe and tenderness, was what I meant.

   “My dear, oh my goodness.”

   The queen swayed her gown in the air, locking her eyes with mine. She was covering her lips with those pale fingers embraced in gold accessories. It shined in the distance, mesmerizing our eyes. The queen rushed to me upon hearing the news from Raul and Beto as the king contained himself on his throne, watching us fluster from afar.

   “This is all my mistake,” the queen whispered in agitation. She gently hugged me then, pressing my dirty features on her expensive attire, as if wiping on them. “I should’ve never agreed to your mission that moonlight. I should’ve just kept you in this castle with—”

   “End your grievance, Elizabeth!” commanded the king. His face was fierce looking at the queen. “Your son is proud of what he has done, needless of what we say. He’s gone quite worthier of his title too. Now, what has happened to him is no longer in our control, but he’s got to accept the consequences of his incapability. Let him be.”

   “What are you trying to imply, that our son is yet enough for this? Do you hear yourself, Balmond?”

   “I am not trying to say it that way, do not question me.”

   “Then what are you trying to tell me? Explain yourself because it seems to me that you are underestimating my son’s efforts!”

   “I do not have time for your fretting now, Eliza—”

   The squabble was cut off when the young warrior lady cleared her throat all of a sudden. “Uh-um, excuse me Your Majesties.” She coughed. “But shall I now assist the Prince with his necessities? I have quite the time for it. If you’ll allow me?”

   I do not know, won’t she appear a little too disrespectful for obstructing?

   “Oh.” The queen breathed. “I apologize for the scene. Yes, can you do that, sweetheart? I’ll have to discuss something with Balmond right now.” She came up to me, drawing herself closer. “I am beyond happy you’re back, my son. I shall join you later. For now, you’ll have to obey your sweet dear. Go get yourself fixed for dinner. We’ll meet at the hall. I love you.”

   I preferred not to respond.

   I turned to the warrior lady as she peered at me. Raul and Beto did not seem to know what to do next either so they just simply excused themselves after that. They were then informed to have been invited to the dinner which gave them no reason to decline. However, I had to say goodbye to the two since I needed to be groomed—as the maids had told me. We went our separate ways right after that and I did not complain any more.

   They called the young warrior lady, Meredith. And I assumed she was someone important in the kingdom too. Maybe she held a high position in her hand, for the queen appeared to be nice to her and Meredith seemed to be friends with the king and queen of this kingdom, as I had observed. Nevertheless, I do not think it gave her the entitlement to butt in between the royals’ conversation. Given the fact that their topic was getting a bit out of hand, she could’ve hazarded herself, risking whatever position she had in her background.

   We exited the room and the thin atmosphere snapped when she called. “You’re too quiet.”

   “Do we have any matters to talk about?” I answered, vigilant with my words.

   “I suppose so. I bet you missed me.”

   I heard the two maids at the back suppressed a small squeak and I turned to them, bemused. They shook their heads and looked down immediately right after they realized I was looking.

   I faked a cough. “Sure, I did,” I said, trying to go with the flow of events to avoid hoisting suspicion. Maybe Meredith is someone close to the prince. I have got to play along.

   I saw the lady lower her gaze on the floor as she covered half of her face, clearing her throat once again like she did at the room a while ago. After that, she did not utter a word any more while we ventured through the aisle, and I had to thank her for not squeezing any more information from me.

   Because I do not have it to start with.

   Same as before, the corridor abided its high-maintenanced look. The place did never fail to put a hypnotized stupid look on my face every single time. It could be compared to heaven if I were to be asked, not gonna lie.

   We followed the wide corridor, with warm lights from those big chandeliers. This place looked comforting and safe and cuddly. I couldn’t help not looking through the huge windows of glass. The night was still: quiet but wicked. And it was brightly lit, which I was confused about where it came from—was it from the moon or the lights inside the castle itself? Eitherway, I was blinded that I thought I was seeing a flying broomstick from afar. Of course, it was only my mind.

   As we reached the end of the corridor, we turned left. This time, another big oak door towered us, its handle was gold—but I don’t know if it was the real deal.

   “As I’ve heard, you’re in amnesia. I suppose you’re no longer familiar with your own room, are you?” I looked at Meredith and replied.

   “Yes, I’m not sure.” I kept an apologetic eye.

   “Well then, shall we go inside?” She gave me a long stare, as if examining what my reaction was going to be. I tried to not look tense.

   “S-sure, let’s go.”

   “Are you sure you’re letting me in?”

   Shit this life. How am I supposed to know if the prince had prohibited anyone going in and out of his chamber?

   “Yes, for now...” I said it, almost like a whisper. I was trying to keep my confidence there but I couldn’t seem to get the hang of things just yet.

   “All… right?” She gave me a half-smile. “I promise I won’t do anything.”

   The earth brown door opened and a bright yet warm room appeared before my eyes. I couldn’t find my words. I couldn’t speak. The room… was tidy and fancy. 

   Instead of ruby, the carpet was white. There was a big bed—king-size I presumed, with four poles by each corner edge of its rectangular shape that supported the thin vampire-colored curtains hiding the entire object. There were two bedside oak cabinets consisting of three drawers as well and by the foot of the bed was a black couch. Then, right across it was a fashionable fireplace. The fire was small and was secured behind thin bars for safety. It snugged the room just perfectly. However, as I saw what’s above it, I froze. It was a big painting of a man in a suit, stuck on the wall at a perfect 90-degree angle. It looked familiar.

   I noticed my breaths paused, and my heart drumming a little faster.

   I could not be mistaken. It was a painting of me… I mean, a portrait of the body I was in.

   It was the prince—a very decent version of him. He looked fierce, just exactly like his father. He was not smiling. He was not showing anything on his face but pure dominance. He looked tough and scary and powerful. And I thought my knees trembled a little just by looking at the hazelness of his eyes.

   He’s the real definition of a leader. The real one. And I had to take note of that. Thanks to that painting, I gained a little understanding about who he was and what kind of character he played—even just a little.

   “You should probably take a quick bath first. Do you want the maids to go in and assist you?”

   “You assist me.”

   Meredith seemed to have taken aback by my sentence, but immediately recovered before anyone else could notice. “I’ll have to lose my sword.”

   “Won’t you do that?”

   “I don’t do that.”

   I paused, feeling a bit intimidated. “A-alright, I guess the maids can—”

   “But it’s fine,” she suddenly interrupted again, staring at me. “I can take requests from you for now. As a way to make it up to what had happened to you. You know, I felt bad for not being able to go with you that night. And now, making it worse, you’ve been in an unusual accident no one had ever been before. I couldn’t seem to stop blaming myself.”

   It’s not her fault at all. She’s being too nice.

   “It’s fine,” I answered shortly, trying to mimic my expectation of the prince’s cold and emotionless character. “At least I’m alive. That should be enough.”

   We entered the bathroom. Meredith told the maids to remain in the previous room and prepare my clothing instead, and she had gone inside with me in an awkward situation. I had to peel myself naked.

   Before I could say anything, she spoke. “The maids seem to have prepared the bath you need. Take your time to clean yourself. I’ll be here if you need anything.” She looked out the window, away from my direction, and crossed her arms against her chest, waiting.

   I shrugged and looked down at the tub filled with mountains of bubbles, then I took off everything I wore. I could see my reflection by the long mirror in a red frame beside me. My body indeed was dirty and bruised. And it showed a lot of scratches on my leg and arm. Just where did the prince go before I possessed his body? However, despite that, I couldn’t help not to admire the figure he had. It was too well-formed. Too manly. Too dangerous. It was exactly the body I was dreaming to have before. Very much different from the thin, young and shabby one that I had just a few hours ago.

   I soaked myself in the tub.

   Ah fuck, did I really just soak myself in a fancy, rich-assed tub?

   I could feel my skin tingling in excitement and joy. I even cupped a handful of bubbles in my palm like a damn kid and blew it away. After a couple more moments, I managed to not let myself slack off any more than that. Meredith was in the same room with me and I could not afford to risk my effort hiding the truth from them just because of a fucking bath. I reckoned my next move.

   I did what I did in the bath. A moment passed by and I realized I could not completely clean off my body all by myself. I could not reach my back. I do not know where the shampoo was, my hair’s sticky. It was necessary to clean it. So as much as I didn’t want to, I’ve got to ask Meredith for help.

   “Are you a baby?” she amusingly laughed and walked closer upon hearing me call.

   “That is why I told you I should have just let the maids in instead if you are not willing to help.”

   “No, it’s fine. It is my duty.”

   She slid the curtains and I saw her face away from me, she was looking away. I get that. Women are too embarrassed and sensitive when it comes to this stuff. Meredith might have intimidated me at first sight but it didn’t erase the fact that she’s still a woman and she has her weaknesses at some point.

   “How young are you again, Meredith?” I asked as she scrubbed my back, half of my body still soaked in water. I tried to appear less suspicious by sounding tough and composed. Yet still, she stopped at my question.

   And I panicked all of a sudden.

   “You never forget my birthday, Sig. Never once in history.” 

   My heart stopped. Fuck, can I take back what I said? I should have just tried to figure it out in the office’s documents if there existed something like that somewhere in this kingdom. Damn it, I should’ve been more careful.

   “I wished you never had amnesia,” she once again added, a hint of sadness was evident in her voice. “We’re both twenty, by the way. Though I’m months ahead of you. March 27th is my birthday and yours is on the 3rd of August, in the same year. You’ll have to obey your seniors.”

   “You are not much older than me.”

   “I thought you would say 'like hell I would!' and give me the same dumb face just like the old times. I guess you forgot even that.” She laughed a little. “But I must say I’m starting to like your new attitude. It’s more gentle and adorable.”

   I quieted. Twenty. They were way too mature for me. I wonder if I could bear the trouble I got myself into until the very end.

   “Dith… what was I like before?”

   She stopped at my question as she finished scrubbing. “Dith? You remember?”

   “Remember what?”

   “You, calling me Dith as your special nickname for me.”

   Oh, I didn’t know. I just called her that because the name Meredith is too long for me and my lazy lips could not possibly afford to talk that much. Was it the spur of the moment that I accidentally hit an important detail? Or perhaps, it was sheer luck. No matter what it was, it kinda saved me.

   “It was the only thing I remember vividly before I passed out one night,” I lied, coating my words with sugar. And I was not disappointed at the actual reaction I received.

   “You better get yourself done now, or we will miss dinner.” She stood up. And I know I hit a soft spot in her heart even if she didn’t tell me.

   I just wished I’m doing things right.

--

   THEY CALLED MY outfit a royal mantle. These trousers, leggings, cloaks and tunic were called that way like I had not ever known. The tunic, being the outermost garment, was decorated with embroidery, lacings and other elements. Honestly speaking, I never felt more irritated in my whole life. I was usually fine with pajamas and shirts at night. I don’t want this at all. This was so uncomfortable.

   Nonetheless, again, it was not like I had a choice.

   I had heard we were going to have dinner in a dining hall. I’ve never heard of something like that before. I mean, I did… in books. When I was around ten, back when I was still with my parents, I started to read fantasy novels I saw in bookstores. I didn’t buy them though, but I remember I used to be fond of them. I did start stories about kingdoms, and princes, and knights but I never finished. However, the knowledge I have gotten was enough for me to recall stuff like these despite never imagining I would ever be seeing myself inside such a story for real.

   Because of that, I suddenly wondered what was happening to Joel, and Jones, and to their family right now. I bet they’re hungry and puzzled about my disappearance while I’m here, enjoying the luxury of being a liar.

   I wish I could just go back now.

--

   THE CORRIDOR BEGAN to grow noisy. I was seeing a couple more people everywhere I looked, rushing toward somewhere—which I suppose was the dining hall they talked about. At first they did not particularly notice us until Meredith was making her swords clack and her boots stomp over the fragileness of the floor, drawing attention. And from that, the crowd started murmurs and whispers while we marched. 

   I tried to compose myself in the finest way I possibly could. I wore a straight face. I stood erect, copying Meredith’s casual moves. And I kept a blind eye on everything else aside from our pathway.

   I ain’t even exactly sure if this was how the prince had done it but I did it anyway. This was better than the stupid, clumsy gestures I used to do before. This is good, I think I’m starting to learn things.

   “Helga!” I flinched. Meredith suddenly stopped upon calling the name and so did I. I spotted a lady rushing to us by then, anxious while looking down on the floor. Unlike Meredith, she looked a lot weaker and small.

   “Y-yes, Commander!” Nevertheless, she did her best to brave herself, and I admired her effort for doing that. And woah—woah, were those battle axes on her back? Just what kind of duty do these people serve in the kingdom?

   Now, I’m starting to get scared.

   “Prince Sigmund...” Meredith turned to me. “This is Helga Bach, Opex Saints 2nd Division Vice Commander under my command. She’s leading the troupe whenever I’m away. I hope you’re still familiar with her.”

   Opex Saints Divisions… that was what Meredith was explaining to me about just a few minutes ago and I was not listening. But I recalled that was what the Kokoshi Kingdom’s army is called.

   “Welcome back, Prince Sigmund!” Helga yelled and bowed really low to me. “We’ve been looking forward to being able to serve with you again!”

   “Commander!” Suddenly, a voice interrupted from behind Helga and it was coming from a tall guy around six feet. He had a sword and was attired similar to Meredith’s. His hair was black and long, and if Meredith looked dangerous to me, this man was deadly. 

   He offered me a hand and said: “I heard about the news. I’m here to introduce myself again before you meet everyone else. I’m Ragen Holler, Opex Saints 1st Division Vice Commander under Prince Sigmund’s troupe. I am pleased with this another successful mission of yours. Welcome back, Commander.”

   I could not speak as I offered my hand for a shake. This guy was under my command, are you kidding me? He was literally towering me!

   “A-ah, yes.” 

   Fuck, what to say?! I felt like shitting on my pants. I could not find my words at all. They were not normal people, I knew that for sure.

   “Well then, shall we go inside? The whole Opex Saints Army is waiting for your arrival. And dinner's about to start soon too.”

   The very next thing that happened that night was beyond my capacity of tolerance any more. It took a toll for normal people like me to handle things in such a mysterious setting and even though I’ve always felt unwelcomed anywhere since I was a kid, this world certainly was not where I’m supposed to belong either.

***

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