
凯
Author
Novels by 凯

I Clean Gods to Pay the Rent
Welcome to the Oddity Cleanup Bureau.
We handle the stuff the government pretends isn't real: demons stealing souls, evil bells trying to end the world, ancient gods waking up on the wrong side of eternity, sea creatures who want their land back. The pay? Insane. Free healthcare for your whole family. Pension if you die on the job.
The catch? One percent death rate per month.
But hey, I'm not just any schmuck. I've got a system. A weird crimson badge that lets me look at something that should drive me insane and just... figure it out. Demons? Parsed. Ancient evils? Decoded. I'm a certified materialist. Physics over nonsense, always.
My coworker? He's a goat. A black, upright, cigarette-smoking ex-archdemon who calls himself the Soot Bishop. He's terrified of Welsh men. Don't ask.
The boss hits demons with empty ale bottles. The uniform badge is literally a scarab rolling dung.
It's not glamorous. The office smells like smoke and regret. My boss's first impression of me was "you look like you're about to collapse."
But it beats starving. It beats watching my sister cough up blood because we can't afford medicine.
I'm just a broke kid who got lost looking for a broom.
Turns out? I'm gonna be really good at this.
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Chapter: 0017 He Really Does Deserve the Stew
You're fucking overdue for the stew, is what you are! Using every last ounce of strength he had, Cassius clamped the Soot Bishop's mouth shut, stuffing its torrent of filth right back down its throat. Then he looked up at the red-haired woman — still smiling sweetly — scratched the back of his head, and said, more than a little awkward: "So, um... Director, my sister got badly shaken up yesterday, and she's still laid up in the hospital. If there's nothing else, could I take the afternoon off?" "Mm-hm, go on! You just finished a cleanup job that dangerous — you've earned some rest." She approved the leave with a smile, and waited until he'd hurried out with the squirming goat head tucked under his arm. Then the faint smile slid off the red-haired woman's face. She laced her fingers together, leaned back to stare up at the aging ceiling, and sank into thought. Something was off... She'd veiled Cassius's memory — made him temporarily forget everything about t
Last Updated: 2026-11-11
Chapter: 0016 Don't Tell Me There's Another Twist?
"Heh. YOU can forget about forgiveness — but the new hire's off the hook, absolutely!" Giving Cassius a once-over that was almost admiring, the red-haired woman's sharp edge softened a touch, and she said, warmth in her voice: "Cassius, don't sweat the intel. You reported the Contaminated the moment you spotted him, you won over that troublesome demon, and you got it to lead you to Agnes. "Then, when Agnes got pinned down, you took out the mission target with one shot and got her out — and along the way you saved a few hundred people from losing too much of their life force. "For a rookie who joined the Oddity Cleanup Bureau only hours ago? More than good enough. As for the intel — that was just an accident nobody could have prevented." "No, hold on! Yours truly pulled off a feat here too! Do you HAVE to play favorites this hard?" Before Cassius could answer, the Soot Bishop — inflamed by the brutally lopsided treatment — burst out: "HE was the one who
Last Updated: 2026-11-10
Chapter: 0015 The Reward
"Send it to the kitchen to be stewed." Under the Soot Bishop's stare of maximum possible shock, the red-haired woman closed the case file marked [Bellfounder Memorial Hospital Incident], then picked up the goat head, tossed it to Cassius at the desk, and instructed, perfectly breezy: "We share a kitchen with the Police Department. After you drop this thing off, tell their head chef it's goat-head soup this time — same requirements as the last few rounds. "No ginger, no onion — extra rosemary and juniper. Double the dark ale to cut the gaminess, plus a pinch of white pepper and a splash of that Worcestershire sauce shipped in from the East. We're adding a special dish for the branch at lunch today. Off you go." "Wa... wait a minute! You bastard!" It had pulled off a genuine feat of merit, and this was its reward. The Soot Bishop's rage shot straight up past its brows as it lay in Cassius's arms, arguing its case on the merits: "Hes... you stinking woman! Thi
Last Updated: 2026-11-10
Chapter: 0014 Turning It Back Around (2-in-1)
MIRA!!! The moment the frail girl dropped, Cassius — watching through his scope from the building diagonally opposite — went cold from the inside out, like he'd fallen through ice. His brain hadn't even gotten as far as the concept of death. His consciousness just blanked. His heart felt clamped in a huge invisible fist, the blood supply to his whole body seemingly cut on the spot, and his hands and feet went stiff and numb, frozen solid. The whole world went dead quiet in that instant. Everything in it froze on one small, pale face — thin lips pressed tight, falling, helpless — and the only thing left that Cassius could do was watch, powerless, as his sister tumbled from on high, despair brimming in her eyes! "BOOM!!!" An ear-splitting roar rolled down most of the street. Hard on its heels came the wide crackle of shattering glass, and the low, grating shriek of metal warping under monstrous force. More than half the hospital's windows blew out from the sh
Last Updated: 2026-11-10
Chapter: 0013 A Sharp Turn for the Worse
Fresh off earning his new badge, Cassius split from the bandaged woman and, without a moment's rest, hauled the "sniper rifle" at a run into the department store diagonally opposite the hospital, making a beeline for the shooting spot he'd picked out — while across the road, Bellfounder Memorial Hospital had already turned into a picture straight out of hell. In the ground-floor lobby, which should have been buzzing with foot traffic, most of the crowd had been swallowed down into the cold tile. The patients, too weak to move, didn't have a prayer of pulling themselves free — all they could do was thrust their arms helplessly up toward the ceiling. Look anywhere you liked, and the whole lobby seemed like concrete mixed through with countless people writhing and struggling in agony — arms shot up desperately on every side, jutting out at every height, groping and clenching without stop. It was a living fresco of hell. Perhaps because of the carpeting — no direct contact
Last Updated: 2026-11-10
Chapter: 0012 Your Art Style's All Wrong, Isn't It?
Just as Bellfounder Memorial Hospital — something having gone wrong inside it — began devouring its patients bit by bit, Cassius, who had arrived nearby, felt a stab of pain in his eyes, and found the whole world before him going black. "Wait! Don't go in yet!" "What is it?" The bandaged woman, arm caught, turned back in puzzlement — and was startled to find that, as if blinded by some searing light, both Cassius and the Soot Bishop in his arms had their eyes clamped shut, tears even streaming from the corners of Cassius's eyes. "This hospital is alive!" Gazing up at the black flames towering skyward in his soul sight, Cassius — whose "eyes" had been scorched by their glare — explained through a burning, stinging pain, still gripping the bandaged woman's arm: "Just now — the instant you started to walk in — it was like it got some kind of signal. Suddenly it had a soul of its own, and... it's about as strong as several hundred ordinary souls!" The entir
Last Updated: 2026-11-10