All Chapters of The Immortal's Guide to Accidental Courtship: Chapter 61
- Chapter 70
71 chapters
Chapter 61: Pitch and Tar
"That wake isn't just a stray merchant craft," Alistair said, his voice pitching an octave higher as he pointed a trembling, ink-stained finger toward the churned gray water half a mile upstream. "That is a heavily armored municipal barge. I'd recognize that hideous iron-plated prow anywhere. It’s Magistrate Hallow’s personal transport." Zinnia didn't bother looking back. Her focus was entirely on the heavy timber pole she had jammed into the shallow mud to shove the ferry’s bow away from a submerged sandbar. "Save your breath, Alistair, and grab the spare paddle before the current spins us directly into the willows. Aetherion, stop admiring the scenery and help me heave us toward that inlet." "I was merely calculating the tensile strength of Magistrate Hallow's iron plating against our pathetic excuse for a hull," Aetherion replied lazily, though he didn't hesitate. He caught the end of a long, water-logged a
Chapter 62: The Midnight Visitor
"We are not surviving this river if you two keep treating a tactical retreat like a leisurely afternoon boating excursion," Zinnia hissed, her boots sinking two inches into the aromatic pine shavings that littered the cooper's communal yard. She slammed the back flap of the wagon shut with enough force to rattle the freshly boiled pitch sealing the canvas seams. "The cooper’s wife said the garrison patrols check this village every three days. Today is day three." "Relax, Zinnia, the master cooper assured me his vats are completely sound," Alistair murmured, adjusting his spectacles while desperately trying to scrape a glob of sticky, black pine pitch off the sleeve of his best woolen coat. "Besides, we have a repaired wheel, a fully sealed roof, and a charming little village square that smells intensely of oak and vinegar. What could possibly go wrong?" "Everything," Aetherion drawled from his perch on an overturned barre
Chapter 63: Interrogating the Thief
"A knife at my throat is entirely unnecessary, I assure you," the intruder wheezed, his voice trembling as the cold steel of Aetherion’s makeshift weapon pressed firmly against his windpipe. He was sprawled flat on his back in the wet, pitch-scented dirt behind the cooper’s workshop, his cheap wool cloak soaked through with foul-smelling ditch water and pine resin. "I was merely looking for a dry place to sleep. The river bank is flooded!" "People looking for a dry place to sleep don't pick the brass lock on a private carriage with a bent hairpin," Aetherion replied, his tone chillingly casual as he leaned his weight down on the tent peg pinning the man to the ground. "And they certainly don't whisper to themselves about bounty payouts while doing it. Care to try another lie, friend? My patience wears thin in the damp." Zinnia stepped out from the shadow of the wagon wheel, holding a guttering tallow lantern that ca
Chapter 64: Dawn on the Causeway
"If that municipal barge rounds the bend before we clear this raised stone embankment, we are finished," Zinnia muttered, her gloved hands white-knuckled against the reins as the wagon lurched violently over a protruding cobblestone. The iron-rimmed wheels shrieked in protest against the uneven masonry, sending a fresh shower of sparks flying into the gray, damp air of the early morning. "Alistair, stop muttering over those ridiculous notes and tell me if the map matches this godforsaken stretch of road." "It matches, it matches, though I fail to see why we had to abandon the cooper's warm yard at three in the morning," Alistair snapped back, his spectacles sliding halfway down his nose as he frantically juggled three different parchment scrolls in the cramped, bouncing interior of the carriage. He shoved his wire-rimmed glasses back up the bridge of his nose with an ink-stained finger, squinting wildly through the rain-spattered side window. "Acco
Chapter 65: The Sentry Post
"Hold the horses," Aetherion hissed, his hand shooting out from the passenger bench to clamp down hard over Zinnia’s forearm just as the lead mare tossed her head with a sharp, nervous whinny. Zinnia didn't flinch, her muscles locking into instantaneous, razor-sharp tension as she yanked back on the reins with brutal efficiency. The heavy carriage shuddered, its newly pitched canvas roof groaning under the sudden deceleration as the iron-shod wheels locked against the wet stones of the causeway. "What is it?" Alistair whispered from the shadowy interior, his voice cracking slightly as he dropped a bundle of damp maps onto the floorboards with a dull thud. "Did the axle snap again? Please tell me the axle didn't snap. I cannot face another afternoon of boiling pitch." "Quiet," Zinnia muttered, her eyes narrowing as she peered through the dense, gray tendrils of morning mist that clung stubbornly to the
Chapter 66: The Limestone Climb
"The limestone track begins fifty paces past the old irrigation ditch," Aetherion murmured, his lazy drawl completely at odds with the dangerous urgency humming through his posture as he peered over the side of the creeping carriage. "And if we don't turn right this exact second, the High-Bridge garrison patrol currently chatting up the ferry master behind us is going to spot our fresh tracks and realize we didn't drown in the rice paddies." "I see the track," Zinnia bit out, her jaw clenched so tight a muscle ticked in her cheek as she hauled back on the left rein with all the strength in her upper body. "Alistair, keep your head down and stop rustling those wretched maps before I pitch them out the window into the mud." "These maps represent the entire legal framework of our defense, Zinnia!" Alistair protested, ducking his head hastily as a low-hanging thorn branch scraped violently across the wagon’s newly patched can
Chapter 67: The Quarrymen’s Shelter
"If the horses don't blow out their lungs on this incline, the approaching hailstorm certainly will," Zinnia muttered, her boots slipping on the slick, white-scoured shale as she strained against the lead mare's harness. "Alistair, drop the extra baggage out the back or we’re going backward." "Drop my ancestral land deeds and municipal charters into the mud? Absolutely not!" Alistair yelled from inside the bouncing wagon, clutching a leather-bound folio to his chest like a shield. "We are already soaked through to the skin, Zinnia. A few chunks of limestone aren't going to make us any wetter!" "They will if the wagon flips over backward and crushes you!" Aetherion shouted over the sudden, violent howling of the wind, his long legs dangling off the rear tailgate as he desperately wedged a spare brake-block beneath the screaming iron wheels. "Zinnia, look up! The old quarry cut! Fifty yards!" The jagged
Chapter 68: Cracks in the Ledger
"Move the crate, Aetherion, or we'll be trapped in the dark by our own supplies," Zinnia said, her voice cutting sharply through the echoing chill of the quarry gallery as she shoved a heavy box of iron spikes out of the way with her boot. "I am moving it as fast as physics and my nonexistent enthusiasm for manual labor allow," Aetherion drawled, though he heaved the heavy timber container aside with a sharp grunt, kicking up a cloud of ancient white dust that sparkled eerily in the flickering amber glow of their single tallow candle. "Honestly, Zinnia, you treat this abandoned excavation like a forward operating base instead of a temporary hole in the wall to wait out a mountain hailstorm." "Because every abandoned hole in this godforsaken province either has wolves, bandits, or tax collectors squatting in it," Zinnia retorted, not looking up as she checked the tension of the canvas lashings over the wagon. "And right now, I'd
Chapter 69: The Engineer's Ledger
"Put the candle down, Alistair, before you drop hot tallow onto the only clean section of the regional land charters," Zinnia snapped, stepping briskly out of the drafty shadow of the limestone pillar and wiping her soot-stained hands on her heavy canvas trousers. "We need those documents legible if we’re going to convince a judge in Oakhaven that the magistrate’s entire property seizure was forged under an invalid emergency statute." "I am holding it perfectly steady," Alistair insisted, his voice trembling slightly as the tallow flame flickered in the whistling draft that swept through the cavernous mouth of the abandoned quarry. He squinted through his wire-rimmed spectacles at the crumbling parchment spread across an upturned crate of salted pork. "More or less steady. But look at this clause here—paragraph four of the secondary charter. It isn't just a routine tax lien. It’s an explicit assignment of feudal title, signe
Chapter 70: The Morning After the Storm
"The chassis is holding, but if we hit another limestone shelf like that last one, the entire axle is going to snap like a dried willow switch," Zinnia said, her voice sharp and devoid of any lingering sleepiness as she kicked the heavy iron-shod wheel of the wagon. A sharp, metallic clink rang out across the silent mountain plateau, echoing off the towering white limestone cliffs that soared into the pale, cloudless dawn sky. The storm had passed as abruptly as it had arrived, leaving behind a world encased in a blinding blanket of ice-dusted hail that crunched like broken glass beneath Zinnia's heavy boots. Every surface of the plateau gleamed with an unearthly, crystalline brilliance, reflecting the harsh morning light straight up into their tired eyes. Alistair groaned, struggling out from beneath a pile of damp wool blankets inside the wagon box and rubbing his aching neck with both hands. "Must you inspect the structural