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Chapter Forty-Five: Live
The photographer's pictures didn't show anything.I know because I checked. I spent most of Sunday on my bed with a laptop balanced on my knees, searching every outlet that had sent someone to the library, scrolling through hundreds of frames of myself at various angles, in various expressions. The mayor's hand on my shoulder. The crayon drawing held up like a trophy. A single shot, half hidden behind someone's elbow, of a boy with his face turned away, one hand pressed to his mouth.The bracelet appeared in none of them.I sat looking at that last picture for a long time. In the caption, someone had written, *Overcome with emotion: Guardian pauses during Community Day ceremony.* Underneath it were two thousand comments. *Aww. He's so humble. Protect this boy. He's just a kid. Can't believe he gets so emotional about everything he does for us.*My heart gave a long, slow thump of relief.It lasted until I realized that the relief itself was the problem. I'd gotten away with it. I'd go
Chapter Forty-Four: Saturday at the Library
The Millhaven Public Library is a squat limestone building with a copper roof gone green with age and a lawn that slopes down to the street in a way that makes everything that happens on it look slightly staged. On the last Saturday of October, someone had hung bunting from its columns, and set up folding chairs in neat rows along the grass, and put a small wooden stage in front of the steps with a banner across it that read MILLHAVEN COMMUNITY DAY: HONORING OUR OWN.I was the *own.*I'd been told it would be small. Marcus had said so at breakfast, and Diane had said so in the car, and the woman from the mayor's office who greeted me at the curb with a clipboard and a smile like a held breath had said so too. *Just a quick presentation. A photo with the mayor. A few words. We'll have you out in forty minutes.* By the time I got there, a crowd of nearly four hundred people had filled the lawn, and there were three television vans parked along the curb.I didn't have the bracelet on whe
Chapter Forty-Three: The Shape of a Shadow
By the end of October, I had stopped being a person and become a weather system.That's the closest I can come to it. Before, there had been days when I was a boy who happened to be talked about, and days when I wasn't, and the days when I wasn't felt like small private holidays. After the Marsh bust there were no holidays. Every morning I woke to a phone filled with the same overnight tide of messages, and every morning I understood a little better that none of them were addressed to me.They were addressed to someone who had my name. Someone strong and clear-eyed and never tired, who was out there in the night keeping everyone safe.I'd read the editorials. It was a small, stupid vice, like pressing a bruise. *Millhaven's Teenage Sentinel*, one called me. *The Shadow Deputy*, said another, which I found myself oddly proud of for about four seconds. A columnist from a paper in the capital wrote four thousand words on what she called "the new vigilance," the idea that a boy my age cou
Chapter Forty-Two: Closed
1I lost them in the rail yard, in the end, not through any particular skill. I lost them because I was small enough to fit through a gap beneath a rusted boxcar that the sedan's driver couldn't follow, and because the bracelet let me hold my breath for longer than I should have been able to.I lay in the dark beneath that boxcar for twenty minutes with gravel digging into my ribs and listened to the engine idle, and circle, and finally pull away. When the last sound had died, I crawled out and sat in the weeds with my back against a wheel, shaking so hard that my teeth clicked together.Then I called Ruiz.She picked up on the second ring. She didn't say hello. "Where are you?""The old rail yard. East of the depot. There's a shed, long, with the door half off. Six men, maybe more. They've got a lift, a stack of plates, laptops." I was talking too fast. "I didn't touch anything. I swear. I just — I followed one of them."There was a long silence. I heard something that might have been
Chapter Forty-One: The Man With Two Fingers
I lay on that roof for another forty minutes after the salute, and I didn't move a muscle.It's a skill, being still. Most people think of it as the absence of something, as if you simply stop doing things until the world stops noticing you. It isn't. It's work. It's a hundred tiny decisions, to breathe through your nose, to let your weight sink into the tar, to keep your eyes soft instead of fixed. I'd learned it in the Hensley house, at the end of the hallway on nights when Chloe's friends were over, and it came back to me now with a kind of grim gratitude.The men below me finished what they were doing without any sign of hurry. The one with the laptop closed it. The one with the metal tool slid it up his sleeve like a magician putting away a prop. The gray SUV started with a quiet turn of the key and rolled out of the lot with its headlights off, and the tall man, the one who'd saluted, lingered a moment at the gate.He was in his late thirties, I guessed. Lean, with a long jaw an
Chapter Forty: A Seat at the Table
Detective Ramona Ruiz didn't look like a woman who needed help from a teenager. She was somewhere in her forties, compact and weathered, with a gray-streaked braid and a jacket that looked as though it had survived a fire. She had a paper cup of what I guessed was terrible coffee in one hand and a manila folder under her arm, and she looked at me across the table in the Millhaven Police Department's third-floor conference room the way you'd look at a tool you weren't sure you wanted to use."Mr. Hensley," she said."Alex is fine.""Mr. Hensley," she said again, patiently. "I'm going to be straight with you. I didn't ask for this meeting. The chief did. He's seen the video from Brookfield, and the one from Kessler, and a lot of the other ones. He's under pressure from the mayor, and the mayor is under pressure from, let's say, the general mood. Everybody in this town loves you. I'd like to understand why that's making my job harder."I'd had an answer ready for that in the car. It left
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