Those Who Left Me For Dead

An ordinary festive holiday

December 31st 1981, Carolina Puerto Rico.The family sat outside the veranda of the beautiful urban four room beach house that la abuela/my grandmother Teresa Cardaso owned.

Every December religiously me, my sister Andrea and our parents Marco and Linda Cardaso visited my father's mom, our beloved nana to spend both Christmas and new years eve, our parents would make the drive from our luxury home in San Juan city to our nana's modest home at Carolina near the public beach.

Our granpa had died four years ago from cancer so we made sure to visit granma sometimes even during the school holidays so she wouldn't be lonely, though we enjoyed to visit her more out of love than obligation, we loved especially to swim in the beautiful beach, our nana would make us sandwiches and drinks and we would frolick in the waters until it was late in the evening.

This particular holiday was special because it was around Christmas and New Years, my two most favorite holidays because we would get new clothes, we would eat a lot of different delicious foods and get a lot of gifts.

If my abuelo/ my grandfather was alive he would play his Spanish guitar and sing Spanish folk songs, he had the most beautiful voice ever, the best baritone in Carolina, many folks would pay good money to watch him sing and play at weddings and even big parties.

On these Christmases since he had passed, we played his favorite songs on the music player, we danced and singed to his favorite gems whilst his beloved guitar lay in it's case at our nana's wardrobe not getting touched, according to our abuelo's last wishes.

That afternoon my family sat on the veranda remembering our late granpa and his antics, there was a lechon asado ( a roast pork barbecue), my mother had made a lot of dishes to couple with it, we had mofongo, arroz con gandules ( my favorite, a dish of rice with pigeon peas) and sofrito.

The weather outside was warm, there was this happy mood in the community all around the fact that it was the last day of the year, I heard the adults talk about their wishes for the impending new year, daddy was planning on expanding his business to the other parts of Puerto Rico, mommy was planning on buying herself a new car aswell as a new wardrobe in the following days.

My sister Andrea who was six was happy to start school, I was eight years old, i was going to be in the third grade the following year and was looking forward to making new friends, my sister and i were playing tug of war when our granmom kicked us out of the house to go play outside, from the distance we could still hear our elders hoping for blessings the following year.

We met our childhood friend Marcelo who was on his way to buy bread having been sent by his mother, on the way to the shops we joked around as kids do about the impending new year, I remember saying it would be the best year of my life

"grade three is the best grade because it's difficult" I said boasting to my sister Andrea.

I heard Marcelo say his year would be better than mine but i ignored him and continued "I will know everything about everyone, I will be smart like a doctor", my sister appeared envious

"no one is as smart as a doctor " she said

"you are just a little boy, children can't become doctors" she told me," I will become a doctor and I will make sick person feel better" I said

"I will be a police" she said

"i will arrest all the bad guys" she said.

My friend Marcelo also agreed that police were cooler than doctors "Matteo you are the only one who is a doctor" they said "when we are big we will arrest you" they said Marcelo had a habit of taking Andrea's side but i didn't mind.

We returned to our respective homes in good harmony, we arrived to see that our granmom had set a table beautiful and had invited a few neighbors to join us.

That evening we had a large feast, there were fifteen of us, my grandmother and my parents aswell as me and my sister and two other members of the neighborhood aswell as their children.

My mommy didn't get along well with Marcelos mother so she wasn't invited to our feast, after we had finished eating, the guests left and my grandma asked me and sister to help her tidy up, whilst we washed the dishes.

Our parents danced to the music playing loudly, occasionally my sister and I would laugh at them, for which my grandmother scolded us for, after we finished grandmother called us out to the living room and lovingly gifted both me and my sister chocolates and soft drink, before lovingly chasing us off to bed.

When we protested that we wanted to watch the year end fireworks, grandmother told us it's only nine pm and that the fireworks weren't going to happen until three hours later at twelve am, reluctantly I went to bed promising my sister I wouldn't fall asleep that I would wait for the fireworks and wake her up so that we could watch them tonight on the veranda.

We shared the same room with our parents here in San Juan at grandma's house, whilst back home in our parents home we had separate rooms because it was bigger and more spacious but our grandma's home was the best because it was filled with love.

My sister went to sleep quickly, she was a heavy sleeper my sister she could fall asleep easily, I tried to keep my mind occupied so I wouldn't fall asleep, I tiptoed out of our room to watch where our elders where.

I could see them outside on the open front door, playing music on the speakers loudly, seated on the table, my parents a glass of wine each, my grandma didn't drink instead she had a glass of cool drink, all three chatted happily about the occurrences of the year, the high and lows.

I tiptoed to my grandma's room, where the door always made a sound when you opened it, a very large startling sound but my elders where playing music loudly I doubted they would hear if I opened the door slower they wouldn't hear i thought.

In what appeared to take forever I finally managed to open the door....

before I could take two steps back I felt a strong hand on my shoulder

"Matteo what are doing?" a male voice asked me

Startled I turned around and saw it was my father, frightened I tried to flee as I had been caught in a place I shouldn't have been, but my father grabbed my arm and marched me straight to my mom and grandma at the front and told them I was snooping around my grandmother's room.

Our father never used physical force when disciplining us but our mother did and that evening my mom spanked me and called me out for snooping in adults belongings and where I shouldn't have been but my abuela made her stop.

And then...

My abuela took over punishing me...

By dragging me by the ear to her room before giving me sweets and some coins before warning me to never go snooping in her room, shouting so the others could think she was scolding me...

before she gave me a forehead kiss and sent me off to bed.