All Chapters of The Guild's Village Idiot is Actually the Strongest.: Chapter 1
- Chapter 10
20 chapters
The Chicken Coop Crucible
Silas knew the world had rules. The strong ruled. The weak served. The Elect—those blessed by the System that had descended upon the realm a generation ago—stood atop it all. They received glorious powers: [Stormcaller], [Blade Dancer], [Heartfire Healer]. They joined the Guild, climbed ranks, and became legends.On the morning of his fourteenth birthday, knee-deep in manure behind Widow Agatha's shed, Silas learned he was the exception to every single rule.The voice that fractured his skull was flat, alien, and utterly pitiless.Then, the first text scrolled behind his eyes, glowing with a sickly, unstable light.Objective: Allow five (5) of Widow Agatha's hens to peck your heels.Time Limit: 300 seconds.Success Reward: Pas
The Stolen Crust
The Whispering Woods earned its name. The wind through the high, ancient pines didn't howl; it sighed, a constant, low murmur that felt like the forest itself was sharing secrets. The dense canopy turned the midday sun into a green, dappled gloom, and the air was thick with the smell of damp moss and decaying leaves. Silas moved as quietly as a city-born boy could, his senses stretched thin. He wasn't a tracker or a huntsman. He was a kid with a piece of stale bread and a desperate, system-mandated need to be robbed.His only plan was Elara. She was a skilled forager, her movements in the woods as natural as breathing. Where Elara worked, woodland creatures gathered, drawn by the disturbed earth, the overturned stones, and the occasional dropped seed from her pouch. She was the best bait he had.He spotted her ahead, a figure of focused grace kneeling by a patch of silvery moonroot. Her basket was already half-full. Perfect.He scanned the br
The Ratcatcher's Waltz
The cellar under Bram's Tipsy Tome tavern was a sunken kingdom of shadows and forgotten things. The air hung thick, a palpable stew of stale ale, damp earth, and the sharp, acrid musk of rodent. Bram himself, a mountain of a man with a beard woven into complex iron-grey braids, lit a single, foul-smelling tallow lantern. Its guttering light carved hollows in the darkness, illuminating towering stacks of casks, crates of questionable provenance, and a floor of packed dirt."There," the innkeeper grunted, his voice like stones grinding together. He pointed a sausage-thick finger toward a deeper gloom where the walls met. "Hear 'em? Scrabbling. Big as your boot, they are. Teeth like iron needles. Ate clean through two kegs of my best Drokan stout." He fixed Silas with a bloodshot eye. "You get 'em out, alive, the crown's yours. You kill so much as one, and you owe me for the keg. Understood?"Elara, standing at the base of the rickety stairs, nodded, her face a mask of practical concern.
The Audition Stage
Stonegrave wasn't just a larger Oakhaven; it was a different world carved in grim, grey stone. Walls twenty feet high encircled it, scarred by weather and time. The streets were a chaotic river of people, carts, livestock, and the pervasive smell of smoke, forge-fire, and crowded humanity. To Silas, who had never seen more than fifty people in one place, it was overwhelming.The Guild Hall dominated the central square. It wasn't ornate, but formidable—a fortress of functionality with the Guild's emblem, a stylized tower shield crossed by a quill and a sword, carved above massive iron-bound doors. Today, those doors were open, and a restless crowd churned in the square before a raised wooden platform.Silas used his single silver crown to buy a cheap, coarse-spun tunic and trousers that were merely stained, not torn. It was the best "presentable" he could manage. He melted into the back of the crowd, a nondescript speck, and watched.Sir Alaric stood center-stage, resplendent in a new
The One Guaranteed Shot
The old dray horse Silas "borrowed" from a distracted carter was not a charger. It was a plodding beast of burden with a swayback and a disposition of profound resignation. But it moved, and it moved north, out of Stonegrave's gates and onto the hard-packed trade road that wound toward the jagged teeth of the Howling Mountains. The [Resource of the Wronged] timer was a phantom heartbeat in his skull: 3:17.He didn't know what "Rotted Vines" were, but the scout's panic had been real. He had no plan. Only a certainty: his next action against Alaric, or the thing threatening Alaric, would be perfect. Maximized impact. The system had promised.The road climbed, the air growing thinner and colder. The lush forests gave way to stunted, wind-twisted pines and shelves of grey rock. After an hour of urging the weary horse onward, he saw it—a plume of unnatural, greenish smoke curling from a side canyon ahead. The stench hit him next: rotting vegetation and something sweetly cloying, like spoil
The Ledger of Small Catastrophes
Dawn in Stonegrave found Silas standing before a small, warped door in a shadowed alley beside the Guild Hall's grandeur. This was the entrance to "Branch C: Miscellaneous Queries & Community Liaison." The plaque was tarnished, the 'Q' in 'Queries' almost scratched away.Inside was a single, dusty room that smelled of old paper, cheap ink, and forgotten hopes. A high counter divided the space. Behind it, a wizened, sour-faced man with a green eyeshade peered at a massive, leather-bound ledger. This was Kevan, the Quartermaster of Catastrophes.Without looking up, Kevan slid a thin, stamped parchment across the counter. "Probationary Contract. Sign or mark. Benefits: None. Pay: Per completed job, rate set by client satisfaction and difficulty assessment. Guild tax: Fifty percent. Lodging: Not included. Medical: Ha. Liabilities: All yours."Silas scanned the brutal, one-page contract. It was an offer of indentured problem-solving. He took the proffered quill and signed.Kevan grunted, s
The Uncalculable Element
The following weeks settled into a surreal rhythm. Silas became a ghost in Stonegrave's underbelly, the "Branch C guy." His name, when it was spoken, was a punchline or a whisper of last resort. Kevan's ledger grew fat with his completed tickets:C-003: Located missing prized rooster "Lord Cluckington" who had learned to mimic a merchant's whistle and was luring himself onto rival's property. Solution: Used [Pickpocket's Hand] to retrieve the merchant's distinctive silver whistle from the rooster's hidden nest, breaking the association. Reward: 2 Copper Bits, 10 GMP.C-004: Solved the "weeping" masonry in the old library's west wall. Not a ghost, but a colony of crystalline-nesting wasps whose vibrations in a specific humidity mimicked sobs. Solution: Placed bowls of strong-smelling mint (a wasp deterrent) in strategic locations. Reward: 5 Copper Bits, 15 GMP.C-005: Mediated a dispute between a baker and a candlemaker over "stolen scents." The baker's vanilla-scented bread was absorb
The Whispering Quarry
The main Guild Hall Quest Board was a monument to martial prowess. Parchments shouted of goblin culls, dungeon delves, and caravan escorts through monster-infested passes. The rewards were in gold, glory, and powerful enchanted items. Silas's new posting was tacked unceremoniously in a bottom corner, a stark contrast.Location: Old Granite Quarry, North-East District.Problem: Recurring, disruptive "earth whispers" causing headaches, tool malfunctions, and minor collapses. Suspected low-level geomancy or haunt. Previous investigation (Branch B, Diviner) inconclusive.Required: Identification and neutralization of anomaly.Reward: 15 Silver Crowns, 50 GMP.Special Note: Assigned to Branch C Agent Silas by request of Guildmaster Torvin.It was a test. A step up from gnomes and soap-eels into the realm of actual, if minor, supernatural phenomena. And Torvin had personally placed his name on it.The Old Granite Quarry was a scar on the city's outskirts, a
The Crossroads Caravan
The joint mission notice arrived not via Kevan, but as a formal summons to the office of Guildmaster Torvin. The dwarf sat behind a desk of scarred oak, a single sheet of parchment before him."Problem," Torvin grunted, pushing the paper toward Silas. "A merchant consortium is shipping a sensitive cargo—live Glimmerwing moth cocoons—from Stonegrave to the glassblowers' guild in Highvale. The moths produce a silk that can hold enchantment. The cargo is fragile, valuable, and temperamental. The route passes through the Silent Woods, which is… quiet. Too quiet lately."Silas scanned the document. The mission was an escort. Standard Branch B work. Then he saw the team composition.Assigned Team Lead: Apprentice Mage Lyra (Branch A - Beast-Whisperer).Secondary Escort: Silas (Branch C - Miscellaneous).Advisor/Observer: Squire Landis (Branch A - Protégé of Sir Alaric).It was the Challenge made manifest. Lyra was a neutral, perhaps even sympathetic, party. Landis was Alaric's eyes and ears
The Gilded Cage
Victory, Silas discovered, was a complicated currency. The 25 silver crowns and 100 GMP from the Glimmerwing mission were a fortune by his standards. He paid off his initial debts to Bram, bought sturdier clothes, and even rented a tiny, clean room above a chandler's shop, his first space that wasn't a shared hovel.The Guild standing change was more subtle but profound. Kevan no longer sneered when handing him tickets. The "Pottery-Talker" now asked his opinion on a cracked water jug's "emotional state." The mission board in the main hall, while still dominated by monster-slaying, began to sprout the occasional odd job with a penciled note: "Referred to C-Specialist Silas." He was becoming a known quantity.Torvin summoned him again. This time, the office felt less like an interrogation room."The City Council is pleased," the dwarf stated, not looking up from a map. "The quarry is productive. The Silent Woods are singing. You've made the Guild money and saved us face. This is… unexp