All Chapters of The Villain's Guide to Not Dying Twice: Chapter 1
- Chapter 7
7 chapters
Chapter 1: Waking Up to a Death Sentence
The pounding in Mordren’s skull wasn’t just a headache; it was a rhythmic, soul-crushing percussion that suggested a troupe of dwarves was practicing demolition inside his brain. He squeezed his eyes shut, the cold marble floor beneath his cheek feeling like the only stable thing in a spinning universe."Ugh... someone kill the drummer," Mordren groaned, his voice sounding like sandpaper on glass. "And close the damn curtains. It’s too bright for existence.""Mordren Valcrux! Do not think your drunken theatrics will delay the hand of justice!"The roar was loud, authoritative, and incredibly annoying. Mordren winced, peeling one eye open. Instead of his messy studio apartment and a pile of empty takeout containers, he saw a pair of polished leather boots. Looking up, his gaze traveled past gold-trimmed hosen to a massive, barrel-chested man with a beard so stiff it looked like it could deflect arrows."Who are you?" Mordren muttered, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "And wh
Last Updated : 2026-08-28
Chapter 2: The Heroine's Pointed Greeting
The stone pillar behind Mordren didn't just crack; it disintegrated into a fine white powder as Isolde’s blade whistled through the air. Mordren scrambled backward, his boots sliding on the polished marble."Whoa! Watch the merchandise, Isolde!" Mordren yelled, ducking as a second horizontal slash hummed over his head, clipping a few stray hairs. "This doublet costs more than a small village, and I’m pretty sure the tailor doesn't do refunds for 'hero-inflicted sword gashes'!"Isolde didn’t stop. She moved like liquid light, her white-and-gold armor clanking with a rhythmic, lethal precision. "Your life is a blight on this kingdom, Mordren. I’m not here to talk. I’m here to fulfill a promise.""A promise? That’s so romantic," Mordren panted, narrowly avoiding a thrust that would have pinned his liver to the wall. He stumbled over his own feet, performing a move that was less 'master duelist' and more 'drunken toddler.' "Is this our first date? Because usually, people start with coffee
Last Updated : 2026-08-28
Chapter 3: Wine, Women, and Wickedness
The heavy iron shackles clinked rhythmically against the stone floor of the Iron Spire’s corridor, a sound that should have been a death knell. Instead, Mordren whistled a jaunty tune, his gait more suited to a ballroom than a dungeon."You’re surprisingly chipper for a man who’s about to be stripped of his soul," Lucivar whispered, clutching a stack of legal transcripts as if they were a holy shield."Style over substance, Luci," Mordren replied, flashing a grin at the stone-faced guards. "Besides, I’ve got a feeling my stay here is going to be shorter than a virgin’s first time.""My Lord, please! The guards have ears!""And hopefully a sense of humor. Hey, big guy," Mordren said, nudging the guard to his right. "Do you think the executioner takes requests? I’ve always thought a guillotine was a bit too 'French Revolution.' I’m more of a 'trial by combat' enthusiast. Especially if the combat involves a very large bed and some silk sheets."The guard didn’t blink, but his grip on his
Last Updated : 2026-08-28
Chapter 4: Close Encounters of the Steamy Kind
The carriage hadn’t even fully come to a halt before Mordren was out the door, the developer’s log tucked firmly against his ribs. The Royal Archive loomed ahead—a monolithic spire of obsidian and ancient enchantments that housed every secret of Aethelgard. If this world was a simulation, the source code had to be buried in the restricted sub-levels.He didn't get five steps before a familiar, shimmering presence blocked his path. Isolde was there, her white cloak fluttering in the midnight breeze, her hand already resting on the Raventhia Blade."You really don't know when to quit, do you?" Mordren asked, offering a tired, half-lopsided grin. "I just got out of the Spire, Isolde. Give a guy a break. I haven't even had brunch yet.""I followed you from the gala," Isolde said, her voice tight with a mix of duty and that lingering, breathless confusion from their terrace encounter. "You stole something from Evelisse. I saw you jump. Why are you at the Archive at three in the morning, Mo
Last Updated : 2026-08-28
Chapter 5: A Lesson in Backstabbing
"Get ready to run?" Mordren repeated, leaning his head back to look at the sky as if checking the weather. "Isolde, darling, have you seen these boots? They’re Italian leather—or the Aethelgard equivalent. They weren't made for sprinting; they were made for swaggering.""Mordren, I’m serious!" Isolde hissed, her hand glowing with a faint, residual warmth from their soul-bind. "Cassian doesn't care about a fair fight. He’ll have the archers take us both down and call it a 'tragic accident.'"Prince Cassian’s face was a masterpiece of aristocratic fury. "Archers! Aim for the Duke! If the Paladin stands in the way, she’s chosen her side. Fire on my—""Oh, put the toys away, Cass," Mordren interrupted, stepping in front of Isolde with a bored yawn. He held up the developer’s log, the silver clasp glinting in the torchlight. "I’ve got enough dirt on this kingdom to turn the 'Eternal Sun' into a very dim flashlight. You really want to play 'who has the bigger secret' in front of your own gu
Last Updated : 2026-08-28
Chapter 6: The Night of Blood and Velvet
The dust hadn't even settled on the streets of the Noble District before Mordren had dragged Isolde through the concealed "servant’s escape" that led directly into the heart of the Valcrux Manor. The air inside the darkened study smelled of old leather, spilled brandy, and the lingering scent of Mordren’s favorite (and highly illegal) incense."I know, I know," Mordren panted, leaning against a mahogany desk and fumbling with a hidden latch. "Stopping a world-ending ritual is priority one. But I am not fighting a god, a Prince, and a secret society of nihilists in a shredded silk doublet. I have standards, Isolde. If I’m going to be a 'bug in the system,' I’m going to be a well-dressed one."Isolde paced the room, her hand white-knuckled on the hilt of her sword. "We don’t have time for a wardrobe change! The High Queen is at the Cathedral! The ritual—""The ritual won't start until the moon hits its zenith, which gives us exactly forty minutes," Mordren interrupted, finally popping t
Last Updated : 2026-08-28
Chapter 7: The Blood Moon Ritual
The static in Mordren’s vision didn't just fade; it shattered like a corrupted file being force-closed by a frustrated user. His lungs burned, not with the cold rot of Rosaria’s needle, but with the sulfurous, choking stench of a city on fire."Mordren! If you can hear me, you’d better wake up right now, or I swear to the Goddess, I’ll kill you myself!"Mordren’s eyes snapped open. The first thing he saw wasn't the ceiling of his manor, but a sky the color of a fresh arterial spray. Blood-red clouds swirled in a violent vortex over the capital, and the air hummed with a frequency that made his teeth ache."Ugh... Isolde?" Mordren groaned, his voice sounding like he’d swallowed a handful of gravel. "Could you maybe... lower the volume? My head feels like a bunch of goblins are having a rave in my skull."Isolde let out a sound that was half-sob, half-laugh. She was leaning over him, her face streaked with soot and tears, her silver hair matted with his blood. Behind her, the balcony of
Last Updated : 2026-08-28