Apocalypse Tutorial System

Chapter 3 : Nutrition and Nudity

Rendi’s hand hovered over the rim of the kitchen bin, his knuckles white. The air in the cramped apartment felt like it was thickening into a physical weight.

“System, deadass, tell me you’re joking,” Rendi whispered, his breath hitching. “Five kilograms? Of this? I’ll literally perish. That’s not a calibration; it’s an execution.”

[ NUTRITIONAL CALIBRATION IS MANDATORY FOR BIOLOGICAL OPTIMIZATION. SIXTY SECONDS UNTIL AUTOMATIC ADMINISTRATION. ]

“Automatic administration? What does that even—oaf!”

Rendi’s jaw unhinged with a sickening click. He didn’t move it. It was moved for him.

“Mmph! Stop! Unsubscribe! Cancel!” Rendi’s muffled shouts died in his throat as his own hand, controlled by an unseen force, reached into the damp coffee grounds and week-old rice. “Fam, I’m getting cancelled by my own limbs! This is high-key human rights violation!”

He watched, horrified, as he began to consume the matter with mechanical precision. Every swallow was a battle against his own gag reflex.

“Bruh, this is zero stars!” he managed between gulps. “Worst mukbang in history! My reputation is in the trenches! Stop the count!”

[ CALIBRATION 20% COMPLETE. DETOX PROTOCOL ENGAGED. ]

“Oh no,” Rendi groaned, his jaw finally his own again as he shoved the final handful down. “Wait, what do you mean detox—oh. Oh, big yikes. My stomach is doing a 1v1 with God right now.”

He staggered away from the sink, his eyes landing on his refrigerator. It didn’t look like his cheap, dented fridge anymore. It was encased in the same translucent blue energy as the System windows.

“Ayo, where’s my stickers? Where’s my fridge?” Rendi lunged forward, swinging the door open. “System, where is my leftover Thai food? This is basically empty!”

[ FRIDGE UNIT UPGRADED TO: SYSTEM STORAGE (LEVEL 1). NON-ESSENTIAL BIOMATTER PURGED. ]

“Non-essential? That was a twelve-dollar Pad Thai!” Rendi shouted at the glowing shelves. “You’re actually a thief! You’re a glitchy, thieving bot! Why is there only one glowing bottle of blue juice in here?”

[ CONSUME RECOVERY SERUM. THE REMODELING PHASE WILL BEGIN IN T-MINUS THREE MINUTES. ]

“Remodeling? Like a home makeover?” Rendi grabbed the bottle, his hands shaking. “Am I getting a kitchen island? Or like, new lighting?”

[ USER BIOLOGY IS BEING RE-WRITTEN. TARGET PHYSIQUE: PRIME HUMAN. ]

“Wait, so I’m getting buff?” Rendi paused, looking down at his somewhat doughy midsection. “Okay, okay. I see the vision. If this gives me a six-pack without hitting the gym, maybe this mission wasn’t a total L.”

He unscrewed the cap and downed the blue liquid. It tasted like ozone and static electricity.

“Tastes mid,” Rendi muttered. “Now what? Do I just sit here and wait for the gains?”

[ PHASE ONE: INTERNAL COMBUSTION. ]

“Combustion?” Rendi’s eyes went wide. “Like... fire? Ayo, System, specify! Am I gonna—AAAARGH!”

A wave of heat surged through his veins, starting from his center and exploding outward. It felt like his blood had been replaced with molten lead.

“I’m cooked! Literally!” Rendi screamed, clawing at his t-shirt. “It’s too hot! I’m hitting the ceiling! My skin is actually vibrating!”

[ DETOXIFICATION IN PROGRESS. EXCESS ADIPOSE TISSUE IS BEING CONVERTED INTO THERMAL ENERGY. REMOVE RESTRICTIVE LAYERS. ]

“Restrictive layers? Say less!” Rendi yelped, tearing his shirt off. He threw it across the room where it hit the wall with a soggy thud. “I’m a space heater! I’m a literal sun! Someone call the fire department—no, wait, they’d see the screens!”

He collapsed onto the kitchen tiles, his pants following the shirt. He was down to his boxers, sweat pouring off him in literal rivulets. The heat was so intense he could see steam rising from his chest.

“This is not a vibe!” Rendi hissed, his teeth gritted. “This is the opposite of a vibe! System, I’m bugging! Lower the temperature or I’m gonna leave a bad review!”

[ TEMPERATURE STABILIZING. MUSCLE DENSITY ENHANCEMENT INITIATED. DO NOT MOVE. ]

“Move? Fam, I can’t even blink!” Rendi gasped, watching as his own muscles began to twitch and knot underneath his skin. “Look at my arm! It’s doing parkour! What is happening?”

“Rendi? You in there?”

The sudden knock on the door sounded like a gunshot in the silent room.

“Mbak Sari?” Rendi’s voice was a cracked whisper. “Ayo, go away! I’m... I’m busy! I’m in a high-stakes raid!”

“You were screaming like someone was peeling your skin off,” Sari’s voice came from just outside. “And I can smell something burning. If you’re setting the apartment on fire, I’m not losing my security deposit because of your 'content creation'!”

“I’m not burning anything!” Rendi yelled, his voice cracking. “I’m just... doing hot yoga! Very hot yoga! No cap!”

“Hot yoga? You don’t even do regular yoga,” Sari said, and then came the sound of the doorknob turning. “Rendi, I’m coming in. The door is unlocked. If there’s a fire, I’m getting the extinguisher.”

“No! Mbak, wait! It’s super sus in here!”

The door creaked open. The apartment was filled with a faint, shimmering mist—the steam from Rendi’s body.

Mbak Sari stepped inside, her hand already raised with a bottle of window cleaner she had likely grabbed as a weapon. She stopped dead.

Rendi was sprawled on the kitchen floor, nearly naked, glowing with a bioluminescent sheen of sweat. His chest was broader, his shoulders sharp, and his abs were beginning to form ridges that looked like they’d been carved from marble.

“Rendi?” Sari blinked, her eyes traveling from his face down to his steaming, semi-nude frame. “What... what is this?”

“Hey, Mbak,” Rendi said, offering a weak, trembling thumbs-up from the floor. “Caught me in a training arc. Awkward, fr.”

“You’re glowing,” Sari said, her voice unusually small. She stepped closer, squinting through the mist. “You look like you’ve been spray-painted with glitter. And... did you get taller?”

“Growth spurt?” Rendi suggested, his face flushing with a mix of fever and shame. “Puberty 2.0? Late-onset main character energy?”

“You’re literally vibrating,” Sari noted, her eyes lingering on his newly defined torso. “And it’s eighty degrees in here. Rendi, look at me. Are you on those weird super-soldier supplements? The stuff they sell in the deep web?”

“Nah, strictly organic!” Rendi forced a laugh. “Bio-sludge and recovery serum! High-key recommend for the fast-track rizz, but the side effects are a major L.”

“You look like a different person,” Sari whispered, her judgmental expression softening into something confused and slightly dazed. “You were a lanky noodle this morning. Now you’re... you’re like a K-drama lead who got lost in a gym.”

“I’ll take the compliment!” Rendi gasped as a final spike of heat lanced through his ribs. “Now please, if you could just... close the door? Give me like, ten minutes to finish my evolution? This proximity is giving me maximum social anxiety.”

“You’re super weird, Rendi,” Sari said, though she didn’t look away immediately. “But if you’re not dying... I guess it’s fine. But I’m still Venmo-ing you for that drying rack!”

“Bet! Double the price! Just let me bake in peace!”

Sari finally backed out, her gaze lingering one last time on the steam-covered young man on the floor. The door clicked shut.

Rendi let out a breath that came out as a puff of white fog.

“That was almost a total L,” Rendi groaned, his limbs finally loosening. “System, tell me I’m done. I can’t handle more visitors.”

[ DETOXIFICATION COMPLETE. OPTIMAL PHYSIQUE ACHIEVED. LEVEL 1 MOBILITY AND STRENGTH UNLOCKED. ]

Rendi sat up, feeling a strange lightness in his bones. He looked at his hands—the tremors were gone, replaced by a steady, solid strength he’d never felt before.

“I feel... cracked,” Rendi murmured, standing up. He felt like he was floating. “Actually busted. If I jump now, do I fly?”

[ STOCKPILING PHASE INITIATED. ]

“Stockpiling? What, are we going to the grocery store?” Rendi asked, reaching for a clean pair of joggers. “I could use some actual food. Something that didn’t live in a bin.”

[ NEW MISSION: THE RITUAL OF MASS. ]

“Ritual of mass? Is that like a bulk season?”

[ REQUIRED ITEM: 100 GALLONS OF ANIMAL BLOOD. ]

Rendi froze, his leg halfway through his pants.

“A hundred... gallons?” Rendi’s voice hit a register only dogs could hear. “System, are you fr? Where am I supposed to get that? I don’t even have a Costco card!”

[ REMAINING TIME UNTIL COLLECTION DEADLINE: 24 HOURS. LOCATION: LOCAL SLAUGHTERHOUSE. ]

[ WARNING: THE BLOOD IS NOT FOR CONSUMPTION. IT IS FOR THE HATCHING. ]

“Hatching?” Rendi’s eyes bugged out. “What is hatching? Ayo, what is hatching in my apartment?!”

[ END OF CHAPTER 3 ]