Daily Dossier: Secrets of a Lazy Husband

2

What's the price of testing one's talents? The number of guards outside the room increased from two to four. Inside, Luna was also there to keep watch, euphemistically called "keeping an eye on him." She truly understood the meaning of "keeping an eye on him."

However, Caelum didn't say a single "no." On the contrary, he raised both hands in welcome. After all, being confined alone is like being banished to the cold palace, while two people are like huddling together for warmth. If there were still four guards, it meant that the Xiao family valued him highly and was protecting him. Just kidding, he couldn't even beat one guard, so why would he need four?

At this moment, Luna rummaged through the bedding, lifted the table leg, and asked suspiciously, "Young master, where did you hide that rebellious poem?"

A rebellious poem? As expected of you, Luna, a master of close-up surveillance. In the early Qing Dynasty, during the reigns of Kangxi and Qianlong, this kind of poem could have resulted in a life sentence in prison awaiting execution in the autumn, or, if you were unlucky, the extermination of your entire family.

While copying the Xiao family rules, Caelum said with a blank face, "Luna, is it possible that your son-in-law didn't write that poem?"

"Impossible!"

Luna may be simple-minded, but she's very clever—her memory is outstanding. In three breaths, she opened and closed her mouth seventy or eighty times, reciting the poem "Shu Zhou Yin: Marrying into the Xiao Family" word for word. Her pronunciation was clear, and her voice was clean and bright. Even famous crosstalk performers would bow down to her and beg her to become their apprentice.

After hearing this, Caelum turned the tables: "Your poetry talent is not bad, but it's still a bit worse than mine."

Luna panicked, "Oh, son-in-law, it's clearly you, not me! Your poem title is 'Marrying into the Xiao Family.'"

Caelum rolled his eyes. You've got the point right, Miss Luna.

Seeing that he didn't speak, Luna put her hands on her hips as if she had won a battle, her face tense, and said seriously, "Son-in-law, I'm watching you. Don't even think about running away."

"Okay, okay, I won't run away..."

Caelum didn't plan to run away for the time being, especially after learning that someone wanted to harm him. Even if he were to run away, he would only consider it when he had a certain level of self-defense capability.

Besides, he had found staying in the Marquis's mansion quite pleasant lately. As a weak scholar, he couldn't lift a finger or do any heavy lifting, so he wouldn't have to do any hard labor. Plus, he had food, clothing, and servants—it was practically the dream life for someone like him who had been a beast of burden for years. If his confinement were lifted in the future, he could continue being a carefree son-in-law, drinking tea, fishing, and living a leisurely life. Thinking about it carefully, it wasn't so bad.

"Young Master, are you thinking about escaping?" Luna, seeing him so cheerful, became highly alert.

Caelum snapped out of his reverie, put aside a copy of the family rules he had just copied, and said without looking up, "I was wondering if the chef would still make beef tonight. That pot at noon was all eaten by that little pig."

Luna's face froze, then she lowered her head shyly, saying coyly, "Young Master, I'm not a little pig..."

She just had a big appetite. But it wasn't her fault; the blame lay with Caelum. It was all his fault for always trying to run away, forcing her to travel back and forth between gardens to find the eldest young lady, depleting her energy.

Caelum teased, "Little Piglet, you'd better not be..."

"Oh, young master, don't change my name! It sounds awful..."

Having spent these past few days together, Caelum had already figured out Little Piglet's gluttonous nature. If it weren't for the food incentive, he'd probably still be being complained about by her all day long. She said his elopement had caused suffering for Celeste and the family, and even made the old master seriously ill. The news had spread, and even the children changed their nursery rhymes about the runaway groom making the family a laughing stock. Who was so talented to write those?

After a few more remarks, Caelum saw that Luna had fallen silent, so he looked up and chuckled. She was sitting on a small stool with her legs together, her hands supporting her knees and her chin, already asleep. With her eyes half-closed and drool dripping from the corner of her mouth, she looked rather adorable.

"Luna has a good personality, carefree and without any ill intentions. If she were my wife, life would definitely be very interesting."

Actually, Caelum was quite grateful to Luna. If it weren't for her keeping him company, he wouldn't have gotten used to this world so quickly. In reality, most of them were quite nice. This could be seen from Luna herself—if the family rules were strict or the head of the household were harsh and ruthless, she certainly wouldn't have such an innocent nature.

However, while the Xiao family was indeed good, they were declining. Old Master Xiao was getting old and ill from years of fighting on the frontier, and his condition worsened due to the elopement. Old Madam had passed away before the new year. Many men of the family had died in the war. Now, all affairs are managed by the eldest daughter, Wan, with the help of collateral branches. Another line has a young heir named Julian, who is said to be a learned scholar studying at the academy.

As for Celeste, Luna rarely mentions her, as if she's afraid of her. Caelum thought to himself, could the rumors be true? Rumors say Celeste is eight feet tall, strong as an ox, with eyes like copper bells... Probably not. With a name like Celeste, she must at least be somewhat graceful, right?

Caelum finished copying the rules, rubbed his wrists, and leaned back to rest. Before long, he too began to doze off. In a daze, he heard a soft, gentle voice. He opened his eyes to see a rugged woman, resembling Zhang Fei, standing by the bed, saying in a gruff voice: "Husband, you're awake. It's time for our wedding night. Were you waiting impatiently?"

Caelum's smile froze. He muttered: "Brother, you've mistaken me for someone else. I'm not the one."

But she pressed him down on the bed and rocked him back and forth...

"Young master, wake up. It's time for dinner."

Caelum suddenly woke up and saw Luna, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead. Thank goodness it was just a dream.

"Young master, did you have a nightmare?" Luna asked with concern. Seeing him nod, she found a bell and walked around him, chanting: "Evil spirits retreat, souls linger..."

Caelum found it amusing and asked: "Where did you learn that?"

"I used to see the old lady do this to drive away nightmare demons from Julian's dreams. It's very effective."

"I hope so..." Caelum, recalling his dream, felt goosebumps. He couldn't help but ask: "Luna, answer me honestly, is Miss Celest

e.. prettier than the old lady?"