I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch29 - Unfounded Smugness

After a bout of comical posing, Lucas's attention returns to reality. Once again aware of the presence of the patiently waiting service bot, he loudly clears his throat before speaking.

"Ah, yes. Very good, we'll be wanting several each. Does it cost anything extra for putting in custom orders?" Given his cadence and choice of words, one could almost forget how ridiculous he was being mere seconds ago. But not quite, it was just too much.

He'd probably deny it all the way to his grave, but Lucas is rather enjoying the absurdity of superpowers in this world, and this new villain lifestyle. You can get away with anything.

"Only the cost of modifications selected would affect pricing. The suits available in-store ready-made are largely to allow distinguished villains to test the wares before placing their custom orders in, and better visualize the styles available." As the bot gives its answer, Lucas is nodding along with its words.

Jonathan seems to finally have his fill of silly poses and has come over to see what else the bot has for them.

"Good, good. Well, if you haven't already, if you would be so kind as to grab samples of every one of the more conservative styled suits, I'd appreciate it. In both of our sizes, might as well see what we like best before putting our own orders in." Lucas speaking more formally when trying to be nice is starting to make 427 a bit uncomfortable. #NotMyLucas

Jonathan has even given him a bit of a side-eye, noticing his different behavior. He just attributes it to being dressed in a suit though.

The bot hands over the two different suits for each of them that it was already holding before bowing slightly.

"Very well, if you'll excuse me, I shall go do so." Both Lucas and Jonathan reflexively bow back. They look at each other and chuckle a bit before going to try on the other suits currently in their possession.

While they only intended on buying classic styles, that didn't stop them from trying on some of the more... Creative styles as well. They essentially go through a repeat of the accessories section, back when they tried on every hat they could get their hands on.

Through their giggle-fest of the more extreme fashions, Lucas does actually end up liking a deep red swallowtail jacket, ultimately deciding to get one with a matching tophat. Not wanting to be left out, Jonathan does as well. They even spend extra to get the hats as equally fireproof, bulletproof, and slash resistant as the jacket itself. You'd think Lucas was mad at Boss System's money and is purposely trying to waste it.

Once their spree of dorkdom has completed, they end up ordering a dozen suit jackets with matched pants in a spread of classic styles and various solid common colors for each of them. They also get twenty lightly-enhanced dress shirts and ties each, as well as a half dozen patterned and/or more colorful fully-enhanced vests each.

When finalizing the order, coupon and all, they decide to bring home the first pair of suits they had tried on, with an extra dress shirt each, to tide them over until the custom orders are complete.

[Well, you did it. You managed to spend so much time in there that you're going to have a late dinner no matter how you go about it.]

Making their way back to the first floor to head out, Lucas's stomach voices out its agreement with 427's accusations. Jonathan stifles a laugh, rather unsuccessfully. Looking down, Lucas addresses his stomach verbally.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm workin' on it. Keep yer pants on." As Lucas scolds his own body, Jonathan gives up any pretense of holding back laughter, after a bit of time his stomach joins in on the conversation as well.

Finally, they've nearly made it to the front doors, both full of smiles and carrying the distinct temperament of someone who recently finished laughing a great deal. Relatively nearby, Mind Flare is speaking with a dark-haired woman in a black suit. The jacket is in a long trailing swallowtail design, the tips tapering off a few inches lower than the hem of her pencil skirt. Even with the help of her red two-inch-heeled pumps, she stands practically two feet shorter than Mind Flare. Mind Flare himself is now in a powder-blue suit, obviously having changed out of the gore-soaked outfit from earlier.

Lucas is mutually noticed by Mind Flare, compelling him to gently elbow Jonathan to guide his attention over as well. The duo smiles and waves, still taking their steps towards the exit. Mind Flare seems to briefly hesitate, but ultimately decides on simply smiling and waving in response. The woman turns her head to see who caught Mind Flare's attention, her black-oval framed glasses coming into view. She gives a small smile as well, nodding slightly which causes her neat and tidy chin-length hair to sway with the motion.

'Hah, he knows he'd seem desperate if they came over to shanghai us on our way out. Is that uhh, whatshername, Jo?'

[...Please don't ever call her that out loud. I don't want to even imagine the kind of backlash you'd get. But, yes, that was Josephine.]

The duo queues up for the crosswalk leading towards Faunahorde, grouping up with three people that were already waiting. It wasn't even a conscious choice, Lucas is just instinctively drawn in the direction of fuzzy friends. He gives Jonathan another gentle nudge with his elbow to get his attention, promptly successful.

"Did you recognize who he was talking to?" Lucas gets a head shake in response, indicating Jonathan's ignorance. He does have a curious look that seems to be asking who it was, hoping Lucas has further insight on the matter.

[Are you seriously about to show off about knowing something you yourself didn't know a short time before?]

'Hells yeah I am.'

427 gives an exasperated sigh, but he does let the matter drop.

"Heheh, that's who Mikah was talkin' about earlier, Josephine. Ya know, the violinist." Imparting his second-hand knowledge, Lucas looks far smugger than he has any business being.

"Ooh, really? We should have gone to say hi!" Jonathan has excitedly turned around to look back through the giant windows at the two super-villains, whom are back to being fully focused on their conversation.

"Heh, I bet Mind Flare thought about introducing us but realized it would seem a bit pushy. Since he just invited us to join an' all." Seriously, stop being so smug about it, Lucas.

"Y-yeah, probably. Maybe next time though!" Jonathan seems to already be planning for the next season's fashion shopping spree.

"Anyway, is there anything you're in the mood for? I'm leaning towards something closer to home personally, but don't have a particular craving or anything." Now that he doesn't have to worry about any surprise guests inviting themselves along, Lucas drops the question he should have honestly asked hours ago.

Jonathan seems stunned for a moment, eyes widening a bit while he looks up at Lucas. After a few moments, his expression changes into a small smile.

"Um, well, a-anything's fine. I could go for a b-burger, I guess... Um, closer to home is good..." Despite how pleased he seems, Jonathan is just as awkward as ever when giving his response.

'Eh? What'd I say for that response?'

[I'm going to speculate that it's the fact you didn't specify that it is exclusively your home. Knowing you, it would have been more normal for you to say 'my place' rather than 'home'. He's only known you for a few hours, despite how comfortable you two have already gotten, and little things like that are probably the exact kind of comfort he could use to get past being driven away from his family. Also, you could have just picked out something to eat as opposed to giving him the choice on the matter, given how thrilled he seemed with simply shopping I doubt he's used to getting to make decisions.]

'Oh. Huh. Yeah, I guess. You'd think the amount of money I just dropped on him would have driven it home already?'

[Who knows, he did see how much is in your account, so he may think it is some temporary way of consoling him. Assuming he even feels like the whole experience genuinely happened, he did seem a bit out of it for a large portion of your time spent shopping. Not that we can be sure either way, short of him admitting it himself. Besides, while we don't know how long it was for, I'd estimate he's been homeless for a few weeks now, so it's probably a weak point of his.]

'...I guess. Eh, worrying about it doesn't do us any good.'

The pedestrian sign across from them lights up green, the three strangers that were waiting alongside the duo also head over to the other side. Now in front of the windows for Faunahorde, Lucas can't help watching the frolicking pups.

Perched on the edge of the window display enclosure, a large raven is directly looking at Lucas. When he briefly makes eye contact with it through the window, it tilts its head a little bit and flaps its wings once before settling back down again. It also gives a short croaking squawk in acknowledgment.

'Wha? That had to be intentional. The hell?'

[I guess it's not just super-villains that seem to enjoy watching you? With how smart corvids are, he may have been instructed to be on guard duty.]

'That doesn't make it any less unnerving to get stared at by an over-sized crow. D'aww, those puppers though.'

It seems Lucas's nerves are tougher than he realized once he gets successfully distracted.

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Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 6

Lucas current GDV: 4.55 (+.01 +.01 +.01 = +.03 net change)

Jonathan current GDV: .77 (+.01 net change)

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Little character theater:

Both Jonathan and Lucas are too distracted by happy puppies to provide any commentary.

427, amused by Lucas's attention span roughly equivalent to that of a goldfish's: [Sometimes I wonder how you even function.]

Author, with enthusiasm: Perks of having a main HQ with underlings; you can have people take care of pets for you when you're busy! Get to work Lucas! For the doggos!

Mr. Quacks, slightly lonely sounding: Quack.