Goblin King's Lair
Author: Demonkite
last update2026-01-24 21:37:02

"Scammer." "Look at him making the girl carry the bags. Trash." "I bet he dies in 5 minutes. LOL."

I watched the comments scroll across the holographic display of my phone.

We were live. The stream title was: “S-Rank Training: Polishing a Diamond.”

Current Viewers: 52.

Most of them were hate-watchers from the Iron Blood Guild, waiting to see me get eaten.

(Good. Hate is just desire with a negative sign. I’ll take it.)

"Master," Runa whispered, her voice trembling slightly as we stepped into the humid darkness of the dungeon. "The air... it smells of rot."

"It smells of weakness," I corrected, walking with my hands in my pockets.

(It actually smells like unwashed gym socks and sulfur. I want to go home.)

The "Goblin King's Garden" was a beginner dungeon, but for an F-Rank invalid like me, it was a death trap. One lucky rock throw from a goblin could collapse my lung.

"Kiii!"

A screech echoed from the shadows.

Five green figures emerged from the brush. Goblins. They held jagged daggers and crude wooden shields.

Runa dropped the luggage and drew her sword. Her stance was stiff. She was nervous.

"Master!" she called out. "Five hostiles! Your orders?"

I leaned against a mossy tree, looking bored.

"My orders?" I scoffed. "Do you expect me to unsheathe my blade for this?"

I gestured vaguely at the goblins.

"They are filth, Runa. If I release even one percent of my aura, they will evaporate. Where is the training in that?"

(If I try to fight them, I will die. Please, Runa, save me.)

"I... I understand!" Runa nodded fiercely. "I will not let their filth touch your boots!"

She charged.

The chat rolled. user_slayer69: He’s totally faking it. He’s scared. simp_lord: Run, girl! He’s going to use you as bait!

Runa swung her sword. It was a powerful strike, but predictable. The lead goblin dodged easily and slashed at her leg.

Runa stumbled back, barely parrying.

"Too slow," I murmured.

I wasn't trying to be cool. She was actually being slow. If she died, I died.

"Runa," I said, my voice cutting through the noise of battle. "Stop looking at the blade. Look at the shoulder."

(It’s basic advice I read on a forum once. Please work.)

[System Passive Activated: Tactical Whisper.] [Effect: Advice is amplified into 'Divine Guidance' within the target's mind.]

Runa froze for a split second. To her, my voice probably sounded like it was echoing from the heavens, slowing down time.

She shifted her gaze. She saw the goblin's shoulder dip before it swung.

She sidestepped. The dagger missed her by a millimeter.

"Counter," I whispered. "The neck."

Runa didn't think. She moved.

Snick.

A goblin head flew into the air.

"Whoa!" The chat paused. user_slayer69: ...Okay, that was lucky.

"Don't celebrate," I commanded, stepping forward slightly. "Three on your left. Their formation is sloppy. Punish them."

(I’m just guessing. They look like a mess.)

Runa’s eyes glowed with fanaticism. "Yes, Master!"

She moved like water. Every word I spoke—"Duck," "Thrust," "Spin"—she executed with terrifying precision. The System was bridging the gap between my common sense and her S-Rank potential.

Within thirty seconds, the five goblins were dead.

Runa stood amidst the dissolving bodies, panting, her skin glowing with sweat. She looked... incredible.

I checked the stream.

Viewers: 150. user_slayer69: Wait. Is he actually coaching her? simp_lord: That sidestep was frame-perfect. Who is this guy?

[Desire Points Gained: +150.]

I smirked at the camera, then turned to Runa.

"Acceptable," I said, flicking a speck of imaginary dust off my coat. "But you hesitated on the third strike. A true sovereign strikes before the enemy thinks."

Runa bowed deeply, ignoring the goblin blood on her cheek. "I will do better, Master! Your voice... it guided my blade like the wind!"

(I just told you not to die. You did all the work.)

"Let's move," I said. "The Boss room is—"

BOOM.

The ground shook violently. Dust rained down from the cavern ceiling.

My heart skipped a beat. That wasn't a normal tremor.

From the darkness ahead, a roar shattered the silence. It wasn't the high-pitched screech of a goblin. It was deep, guttural, and terrifyingly loud.

A massive figure stepped into the dim light. It was three meters tall, wielding a club made from a tree trunk.

A Hobgoblin.

The Dungeon Boss.

(Wait. Wait. The Boss is supposed to be at the end! We've been here for five minutes!)

"M-Master..." Runa stepped back, her face pale. "Why is the Boss here?"

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. My knees threatened to buckle. This thing could kill us both with a sneeze.

The chat exploded. user_slayer69: RIP. Early spawn glitch. simp_lord: GG. It was nice knowing you.

I looked at the monster. It roared again, spitting saliva that sizzled on the ground.

I had no mana. I had no weapons. I had a girl with a sword and a camera.

I forced my trembling lips into a smile.

"Finally," I lied, my voice cracking only slightly. "Ideally, I would have waited... but since you are so eager to die..."

(I am going to die. I am absolutely going to die.)

The Hobgoblin charged.

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