Ps. You Are My Happiness

4. Shadows of Sacrifice

The only Joy in the world is to begin

-Cesare Pavese

~.~ 

(a week later)

We join the others after morning sleep, whereas they have already prepared themselves. I find Ivan holding a baseball bat and swinging it from side to side. When I look at him, I see him simply laughing at something Sasha said, and something stirs inside my heart. Maybe I am having a heart attack.

"We can't guarantee you'll live if you come with us. You can still decide to stay back." Henry reminds us as a warning. But Eric and I decide to go with them as we can't stay back doing nothing. Most importantly, I want to save these buggers and return to my country soon.

We get on to the same vehicle we did the last time. Ivan is the last to get on as he made sure for the nth time that Bailey and Derrick would be okay back at the hideout for a few days. We don't know for how long.

The vehicle starts rolling, and Eric and Henry get into a conversation about random things. Their conversation leads them to talk about girls and boobs at the end. I just doze off next to Ivan, tired as ever and before I know it, I fall asleep on his shoulder, without seeing nightmares about the infected ones but finding it totally comfortable.

-

"Wake up," I hear someone call me. I stir in my sleep and open my eyes. I groan when I remember I am not at my apartment but in this strange country which has got destroyed by a strange apocalypse.

"Fucking great," I mutter, rubbing my eyes.

Ivan looks at me strangely and rolls his eyes, "We have to get down. Are you sure you won't fall when you get down? Because there are three zombies outside our vehicle at the moment." he reminds me.

"Zombies...? Yeah- yeah, I am fine."

"Remember you two." Ivan gets mine and Eric's attention. "Remember not to use your rifles and guns. It's better if we can deal with the zombies with tricks because gunshots ought to attract them. They react to sounds."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So before leaving, there are some facts we got to know about them during these months. One, they react to sound and light. Two, they get drawn to the smell of human blood. Three, they don't think. Four, their stamina is limitless. Five, they work according to their instincts. Let's go."

The new information shakes me a bit. It's already a nightmare that a simple scratch can make another healthy person infected... now that we know more about them, it sounds even worse. Why did I even volunteer?

Well, there are many reasons. Maybe because I was depressed when I got the rejection letter saying that I could not work in the special forces, which has always been my dream. Maybe because my boyfriend dumped me a month ago because I was jobless. Maybe because my mother called me a disappointment and cut all ties with me. And now there's another reason—this man.

"Let's go." Ivan snaps his finger in front of me. "Don't back away now."

"I am not..." I mumble.

Ivan gets down first, taking the lead as the leader. I get down last to see him smashing a zombie's head against the nearest building wall and smashing another's head with the baseball bat. Henry takes care of the other by cutting the head off the zombie.

"Let's move on," Ivan says as Eric, and I stand still as statues, surprised as ever.

"Get used to it. They like to play the hero. Especially Ivan," Sasha says with a laugh.

Ivan walks in front of us, looking around and listening from time to time. We make our way toward the building, where we find a board on the ground which says "Central Laboratory". I sigh in relief, realising we've arrived at the location.

"Don't feel too happy. See." Ivan says, pointing at the building, and I could see moving figures inside the building.

"Oh, fuck." I mutter, feeling my stomach become heavy.

"This area is the most crowded part of the Capital. Around five thousand live in this little area alone, and we don't know how many have been infected. So I want everyone to cooperate and take this slow without creating a huge fuss, alright?" Ivan does his small pep talk, which makes me sick in my stomach. Damn. I regret life.

He looks at Eric and finally looks at me. Seeing the horrified look on my face, a smirk grows on his lips. Oh, wow. He can make a lot of expressions than I thought. I am taken aback.

"Don't die. Have everyone's back. If it's too much, be selfish." he says before walking ahead of us.

He peeks through the door and curses under his breath. We walk and peek next to him to find at least ten infected ones inside.

"What do we do?" Sasha asks.

"We can't go inside unseen. There isn't anything to hide behind." Henry says.

"Should we use it?" Ivan asks Sasha.

"I guess so," Sasha takes out something from his back, which is a toy bear. She walks back in the direction we came and keeps the bear on the ground. Then she comes back, holding the remote of the bear.

"Let's hide there," Ivan says, showing a wall, and we all squeeze behind it. I watch in amusement as Sasha switches on the bear by the remote. At first, nothing happens, only that the bear starts singing a nursery rhyme amidst the mess.

But after a while, the growling from the zombies increases, and as we watch, the ones who are inside start piling outside. I squeeze my eyes, wishing the sound of their bones crushing would fade away, but they don't. After a while, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I open my eyes, and it's Ivan. He signs me toward the entrance, letting me know that the coast is clear. He takes my hand, and we sprint toward the entrance. Sasha doesn't stop the bear from singing nursery rhymes to keep the zombies engaged. I run inside with a pounding, and  I feel this sudden fear of death for the first time in my life.

I realise this whole thing isn't something that I can take lightly. This is serious. One single wrong action can cost my life and the life of the ones around me.