"NO CAP!" Gavin shrieked.
"Bro, lower your voice!" Jax hissed, throwing his hands up in absolute panic, his wheels squeaking as he slid his chair closer. "You're going to summon Rose like a level-hundred dungeon boss! We cannot handle that kind of aggro right now!"
"I can't lower my voice, Jax! Look at this!" Gavin grunted, pulling his right arm upward with everything he had.
The heavy mahogany desk creaked loudly, tilting to the side as the left metal legs lifted completely off the carpet.
"Oh, rip," Jax whispered, his eyes widening. "You’re literally lifting the company budget right now. Put it down, bro! If you break that, Rose will make us pay for it, and I am currently saving up for a new GPU."
"I can't put it down because I can't let go!" Gavin gasped, his shoulder muscles straining. "I am literally one with the corporate hierarchy now. This desk and I are married. We are legally bound in the eyes of the state."
"Okay, let me cook," Jax said, scrambling frantically through his desk drawers, throwing aside old receipts and half-eaten protein bars. "We need a tool. A wedge. Something to break the seal. Here—take this ruler."
"A plastic ruler?" Gavin eyed the translucent blue strip of plastic Jax was thrusting at him. "Are you serious right now? This is a solid mahogany desk. It’s going to snap the ruler like a twig."
"Just slide it under your palm, bro! Do it before she comes back to check on the report! You have to speedrun this!"
Gavin took a deep breath, sweat dripping down his temple. He gripped the plastic ruler with his left hand, which still had three mechanical keycaps stuck to his fingers like high-tech warts.
"If I lose my skin here, Jax, you're writing my eulogy," Gavin whimpered. "Make sure you tell everyone I died a hero. And tell Rose I... actually, don't tell her anything. She'd probably just call my death an OSHA violation and replace me by Monday."
"Bro, the level of down-bad you are exhibiting while literally fused to office furniture is actually legendary," Jax sighed. "Just pry it!"
Gavin gingerly wedged the thin plastic edge of the ruler beneath the heel of his right hand. The skin resisted, stretching like warm saltwater taffy against the polished wood grain.
"Ow, ow, ow! That is not a vibe, Jax! It's pulling my actual epidermis! I’m going to need skin grafts, fr!" Gavin yelled in a harsh whisper.
"Stop being a baby! Push it through! Pain is temporary, but getting fired by Rose is forever!"
"I am trying! It feels like... wait. It's shifting!"
With a loud, wet, rubbery pop, Gavin’s palm suddenly released its grip. The plastic ruler shot out of his hand, flying across the room and clattering against the wall. The sudden release of tension sent Gavin tumbling backward. His rolling mesh chair spun wildly before slamming hard into the metal filing cabinet.
"You good, bro?" Jax asked, peering over his monitor with wide eyes. "Did you survive the quick-time event?"
"I'm alive," Gavin groaned, rubbing his raw, tingling palm. He stared down at his skin, his eyes widening. "But... uh, Jax? My palm is literally glowing. Look at this."
In the shadow of the desk, his hand emitted a faint, pulsing bioluminescent blue light.
"Bruh," Jax whispered, leaning in. "You look like a glow-in-the-dark sticker. That is highkey terrifying."
"I need to wash this off," Gavin said, pushing himself up from the floor. "Like, right now. Before it spreads to my face and I start looking like an avatar."
"Go, go! Speedrun to the restroom. Use that industrial soap. The one that smells like pine trees and heavy-duty chemicals. If that doesn't work, we might have to amputate."
"Amputate? You're a terrible support class, Jax," Gavin muttered, backing out of the cubicle while keeping his hands raised awkwardly in the air. "Keep watch. If Rose comes back, tell her I'm... negotiating with the server gods."
"Bet. Go! I’ll cover for you!"
Gavin slipped out of the IT department, keeping his hands hovering awkwardly in front of him like a classic B-movie zombie. He darted down the carpeted hallway, his eyes scanning the corridor for any sign of Rose's impeccably tailored blazers. Every step felt incredibly tense, his heart hammering against his ribs.
"Just wash it off. Easy game," Gavin muttered to himself, stopping in front of the heavy, dark-paneled executive restroom door. "Just a weird spider bite. I'm totally normal. I'm just a regular guy who can lift desks with one hand."
He reached out with his right hand, wrapping his fingers around the massive, solid brass lever handle. He took a breath, intending to pull it open gently.
SNAP.
A loud, metallic crack echoed through the quiet corridor.
Gavin blinked, staring down at his hand.
The heavy brass handle was no longer attached to the door. It was resting entirely in his palm, the sheared metal screws protruding from the base like broken teeth.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Gavin whispered, his voice cracking. "I didn't even pull hard! I literally barely flexed!"
He stared at the blank, hollow hole in the door where the handle used to be. The door itself remained firmly shut, completely impassable.
"This is an L. A massive, monumental L," Gavin mumbled, panic cascading through him. "How do I even explain this to facilities? 'Sorry, guys, I accidentally became a superhero because of a rave spider'?"
The sharp, rhythmic clack-clack-clack of designer heels suddenly echoed from the intersecting corridor.
Gavin’s stomach dropped. "Oh, no. No, no, no."
Rose turned the corner, holding a manila folder against her chest. Her dark, almond-shaped eyes locked onto him instantly, sparkling with a mixture of curiosity and deep, lingering suspicion. Her lips, painted a soft, elegant rose-red, parted slightly.
"Gavin?" Rose asked, her smooth, intoxicating voice carrying that effortless authority that always made his knees go weak. "What are you doing standing outside the executive restroom? And... why does your right side look so incredibly heavy?"
Gavin realized, with absolute horror, that he had instinctively shoved the massive brass handle into his blazer pocket. The sheer weight of the solid metal was dragging his trousers down on one side, making him tilt awkwardly to the right like a sinking ship.
"Oh! Miss Lee! Rose! Hey!" Gavin stammered, frantically pulling his blazer down to cover the massive, metallic bulge. "I was just... stretching! Yeah! The glute activation is key when you're sitting at a desk all day. Highly recommended. Ten out of ten, fr."
Rose stepped closer, her eyes narrowing as she looked him up and down. "Stretching. Gavin, you are tilting at a thirty-degree angle. Are you having a medical episode?"
"No! No medical episodes here! I am in peak physical condition," Gavin lied, flashing what he hoped was a charming, high-rizz smile, though it probably looked like a grimace of sheer physical agony. "Never felt better, honestly. Just... vibing with the corporate atmosphere."
Rose stepped even closer, her perfume—an intoxicating mix of vanilla and expensive amber—washing over him. Up close, her beauty was dizzying, and Gavin found himself momentarily forgetting that he was hiding a stolen piece of office hardware in his pants.
"Is that so?" Rose murmured, her eyes dropping to his lopsided stance, then shifting past him to the restroom door. Her expression suddenly hardened. "Gavin. Where is the door handle?"
Gavin swallowed hard, his throat dry. "The... the handle?"
"Yes, Gavin. The solid brass handle that was attached to this door thirty seconds ago."
"Oh! That!" Gavin let out a loud, forced laugh that sounded incredibly high-pitched. "Oh, man. You won't believe it, Rose. I went to grab it, right? And it just... literally disintegrated. Like, straight up snapped off in my hand. The build quality in this office is majorly sus, no cap. They must be sourcing these from some budget supplier. It’s a literal safety hazard."
"It disintegrated?" Rose stepped directly into his personal space, her dark eyes searching his face with intense scrutiny. She reached out, her cool, manicured fingers lightly brushing against his right pocket, where the heavy metal shape was glaringly obvious. "And I suppose the handle 'disintegrated' directly into your blazer?"
Gavin gasped softly at her touch. The brief contact felt like a jolt of pure static electricity, far more intense than any spider bite. He looked down into her eyes, completely captivated by her proximity.
"I... uh... I was just securing the evidence," he whispered, his brain completely short-circuiting. "For maintenance. To prove we got scammed by the contractors. I’m looking out for the company budget, boss. On god."
Rose stared at him, her lips twitching as if she were trying to suppress a smile, though her eyes remained intensely sharp.
"On god?" she echoed softly, her tone carrying a wealthy, elegant amusement. "You are a very strange man, Gavin."
"I'm just... built different," he whispered, staring at her lips, completely spellbound. For a brief second, the office, the sticky hand, and the broken door faded away into the background.
Before Rose could reply, a loud, obnoxious siren blared from Gavin’s back pocket.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Gavin jumped, the sudden noise shattering the tense, romantic bubble between them. He awkwardly fumbled with his left hand, pulling out his vibrating phone.
"Sorry, I have to take this—it's... it's my phone," Gavin muttered, his face flushing crimson.
He glanced at the screen. A bright red emergency alert banner was flashing.
SENDER: LANDLORD.
MESSAGE: URGENT. Gavin, your apartment's pipes just exploded. There is glowing blue water flooding the entire lobby. What did you put down your drain?!
Gavin stared at the screen, the color draining from his face.
"Oh, rip," he whispered.
Rose arched a single, perfect eyebrow. "Is there a problem, Gavin?"
"Uh," Gavin squeaked, looking from her beautiful, suspicious face to the glowing text on his phone. "I think my apartment is currently speedrunning a natural disaster."
Latest Chapter
Chapter 8: Extreme Rooftop Yoga
The wind roared against the side of the skyscraper, but it was drowned out by the sound of Rose’s jagged, panicked breathing. They were a pathetic sight—the high-powered division lead and the soot-stained IT guy, huddled together on the rooftop, their right hand and left wrist fused by a neon-blue, lemon-scented abomination of chemistry."Gavin, look at me," Rose gasped, her eyes darting between his soot-smeared forehead and their glued-together limbs. "You are not going to move. You are not going to lean. We are going to walk through that door, very slowly, and you are going to let me find a way to get this stuff off your skin.""Boss, I’m literally so sorry," Gavin stammered, his heart doing a frantic, arrhythmic dance against his ribs. "The, uh, structural integrity of the bond is actually pretty high-tier. My bad on the accidental trap. This is, like, peak professional embarrassment.""Professional embarrassment?" Rose’s voice was a tremor of disbelief. She stood up, pulling him w
Chapter 7: The Lemon-Scented Formula
The office kitchen was a graveyard of abandoned coffee grounds and shattered dreams at 11:00 PM. Gavin stood over the industrial stovetop, his face illuminated by the flickering, sickly yellow glow of the overhead fluorescent light. He had a beaker of industrial-grade superglue in one hand and a bottle of high-acid, lemon-scented floor cleaner in the other."Okay, be careful, Gavin. You are literally playing with fire, no cap," he muttered, his hands trembling as he poured the yellow liquid into the glue. "If this turns into a bomb, I’m literally going to be fired into the sun."The mixture hissed and bubbled, emitting a pungent, citrusy odor that burned his nostrils. He stirred it with a discarded plastic fork, watching as the slurry thickened into a semi-translucent, sticky, glowing blue paste."Yo, that is actually lit," he whispered, his eyes widening. "It’s literally the same color as the spider-bite energy. Maybe the chemistry of my body is just... influencing the world now? Am
Chapter 6: The Morning After Shakes
The Monday morning light felt like a physical assault, filtered through the high-end blinds of the IT department. Gavin sat at his desk, his back aching and his ego feeling even more bruised than his ribs. He tapped away at his mechanical keyboard, the 'G' and 'H' keys feeling suspiciously sturdy under his fingers. He had spent the entire morning being a literal ghost.Jax spun his chair around, his eyes wide with a mix of pity and confusion. "Bro, you look like you got ran over by a bus. You okay? You’ve been silent as a NPC for three hours, no cap.""I’m just locked in, Jax. Grinding through the tickets," Gavin muttered, not daring to look toward the glass-walled office at the end of the hall."Rose has been staring at your cubicle for twenty minutes, man. It’s giving major 'I’m going to fire you for breathing' vibes. Did you do something? Did she find out about the squirrel costume?""She thinks I’m a coward, Jax. A total L-tier human being who hides in closets while hero stuff hap
Chapter 5: The Closet Confession
The scent of singed polyester was suffocating, a chemical stench that clung to the back of Gavin’s throat like a physical weight. As the small ember on the squirrel tail began to glow with a menacing, orange intensity, Gavin didn't wait for the fire department—or the police—to notice the hero-mascot was about to turn into a bonfire."Abort! Abort mission! This is a total fail state!" Gavin yelped, his voice cracking.He scrambled, his fingers clawing at the synthetic fur. The heat from the lighting rig had fused the foam padding to his skin in several places, but the adrenaline surging through his veins—the same blue, static-charged cocktail of disaster—gave him the strength of a panicked rhino. With a final, desperate jerk, he tore himself free. The mascot head fell to the floor with a hollow thud, and Gavin, panting and covered in black soot, bolted toward the nearest door: a heavy, unmarked service entrance labeled Janitorial.He slammed the door shut, locking it with a trembling h
Chapter 4: Unplanned Gala Duty
"Understood, Boss. I will be the most majestic blue bear this city has ever seen. Fr fr," Gavin muttered, his voice muffled by the thick, synthetic fur of the mascot head he was already clutching under his arm.Rose offered him a tight, elegant smile, though her eyes betrayed a glimmer of genuine worry. "Just stay in character, Gavin. The donors are high-profile, and if you start doing your weird 'desk-sliding' maneuvers, you’re fired. No cap.""Bet. I’ll be the most chill mascot you’ve ever seen. Pure professional vibes," Gavin promised, turning toward the cramped dressing room tucked behind the grand ballroom stage.He shimmied into the suit. It was a nightmare of polyester and foam, smelling faintly of stale dryer sheets and previous years of corporate neglect. The head was heavy, featuring a giant, toothy squirrel grin that made it impossible to see anything but a narrow, foggy sliver of the ballroom floor."Bruh," he whispered to himself, struggling to adjust his vision. "I look
Chapter 3: The Ceiling Awakening
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Gavin muttered to the ceiling fan spinning three inches from his nose. "This is highkey an L. Why am I literally gravity-defying right now? Is the simulation glitched?"He blinked, staring down at his bedroom floor. His bed was directly below him, a messy pile of sheets looking incredibly far away. His pajama top and pants were stuck flat against the white plaster ceiling, holding his entire body weight without a single sign of letting go."Jax! Yo, Jax, pick up!" Gavin yelled, desperately nose-tapping the speakerphone icon on his cell, which he had managed to wedge between his chin and collarbone. "I am literally cooked, bro! On god!""Gavin? Bro, why are you screaming? It is literally seven in the morning," Jax’s sleepy voice crackled through the phone."I am currently sticking to my ceiling like a discount Peter Parker! I can't get down, fr fr!""Bruh, you are capping so hard right now. Send a pic or it didn't happen.""I can't take a selfie! My
You may also like

An Understated Dominance
Marina Vittori11.9M views
Becoming A Trillionaire After Divorce
Esther Writes75.8K views
Return Of The Dragon Lord
Snowwriter 140.7K views
Revenge Of The Rejected Heir
Beautypete98.9K views
Archon's Shadow: The System of Vengeance
Wilda Akha206 views
My Past Life Was My Greatest Fortune
Paul_okito150 views
The Condemned King
Bing6 views
My Ex-Wife wanted Money, The Apocalypse wanted Everything
Motun Pen7 views