The Space Spoon

26. A Day with the Girls

The journey to Erchpri would last three days at the Space Spoon’s current max speed. Tejeda got bored long before the first day ended. So, he called another team meeting. Presence mandatory, except for Jackeye, who couldn’t be bothered with such trivial encounters.

Tejeda had contacted him through a console. Jackeye’s response appeared crystal clear on the screen. [ I barely got in time for the tomato harvest. Now, my garden needs plowing. You said weekly meetings. Fuck off! ]

The chosen meeting spot was one of the smaller cargo holds. Tejeda entered the room and looked around at the three women who were waiting for him. Shayla, Cato, and C1313 were all so different that he couldn't help but wonder who would be the best chef. A day with the girls would certainly be fun.

“A heretical being invented the air nutrition process, forsaking the god-given pleasure of oral nourishment.” Tejeda smirked seeing that they didn’t have a clue about what he had in store for them. “On this day, we will right this wrongdoing, at least on this ship. I have closed the system dispersing the nutrients through the air.” He raised a finger, shaking it through the air. “Well, it is still up solely for Jackeye’s room. Or else we will discover a skeleton there instead of a vegetable.” A grin showed his perfect teeth before he continued. “This cargo hold is repurposed to be our new kitchen. I have brought all the needed utensils and ingredients. Here we will cook and have our team-building sessions. What do you think?”

“We know nothing about food and shit like that,” Shayla responded, eyeing the weird things scattered across the room.

Tejeda gave a dismissive gesture with his hand. “You will all learn. Believe me when I say that the fruits of our labor will greatly please you all. None of you will want to deny themselves actual meals ever again.” He rubbed his hands impatiently. “Everyone opens one of the tablets on the tables and picks up a recipe. I will help each of you till you learn the ropes.”

They were all grimacing when they opened the tablets and scanned through the recipes as directed. This might prove more difficult than he expected.

“What is a spoon?” Cato asked, raising her big brown eyes from her tablet.

Touching Carmen hung at his neck, Tejeda responded. “A spoon looks like this. You will find some on the second drawer to your right.”

"I discovered a recipe that I would like to try," C1313 remarked. "It has a pleasant repetitiveness that my algorithms like. 8 tablespoons flour, 8 tablespoons sugar, 8 tablespoons..."

“You can skip this one,” Cato interrupted her while gazing at the spoons in the drawer. Her finger moved over them as if she counted them. “We don’t have so many spoons available.”

"I found an easy one," Shayla stated as she pointed to her work table. "I found the beans, put them in a pot with water, and now I am just waiting for them to boil on the heater."

"That is great, my dear Shayla. I knew you could do it." Tejeda applauded. This was truly magnificent. Came right before a looming headache.

C1313 lowered her tablet and gazed at him. “What is the level of your cooking skills?”

“Oh, my dishes are to die for.”

"In that case, why don't you cook for us?" The phosphorescent teal eyes demanded a response.

Tejeda had to explain, shaking his head. "C1313, we need to figure out how to get you to see through sarcasm. When I say "my dishes are to die for," I mean it. More than a spoonful of individuals died as a result of consuming my courses. I am confident yours will be better for us."

“What is ketchup?” Cato asked, staring at a recipe.

Tejeda smiled. Finally, an easy question. “Ketchup is made from crushed tomatoes with different spices and flavors. When making it, only your imagination is the limit.”

"Does it mean I can create ketchup any way I want?" Cato played with a tomato, throwing it in the air and catching it repeatedly.

C1313 came closer to Cato and grabbed the tomato from midair. “I want to try it too.”

"Awesome!" Tejeda was overjoyed. Perhaps his original impression was incorrect, and this might be entertaining. "C1313, I like your zeal. Allow your imagination to go wild. How do you want to make your ketchup?"

Without responding, the robot swung her arm in the air like a baseball pitcher and flung the tomato directly in Tejeda's face. Everyone else's laughter filled the room except his. He was frozen in place, unable to see anything due to the smear on his face.

His chin and the tip of his nose dripped with tomato juice. A tongue clicked next to him after a finger scrolled across his cheek. Someone had a taste of the ketchup they had prepared. Those women!

“C1313, this is good.” Shayla’s voice pierced his ear from his left as he used his sleeves to clean his eyelids. She continued after more clicking of her tongue as she tasted it. “Some things may be lacking, but we have all the time in the world to improve the recipe. I think you just invented Jerk Ketchup.”

“Can I try it too?” Cato asked.

Tejeda just cleared his vision in time to see another tomato hurled toward him, and this time he ducked in time. Death by tomato wasn’t on his list of things to try. At least everybody seemed to be having fun at his expense. If that wasn’t team building, be damned if he knew what else could be.

The second in command laughed and turned to see how her beans fared. “This doesn’t seem to be boiling at all. What did I do wrong?”

“Shayla, turn the heater on first.” Tejeda sighed, turning to the door. “I go change. Try not to destroy the ship in the meantime.”

This day with the girls proved to be the most challenging of his life. But at the very least, he wasn't bored anymore.