Those Who Left Me For Dead

Grandmother becomes our mother

I don't remember the morning that followed the rainy night but I remembered shortly after my sister Andrea and I were enrolled at the primary school in Carolina.

I loved it so much it was close to the northern side of the beach, there was a park and a library, mommy and daddy still were on "work" duties.

I had hoped that my best friend Marcelo would be in the same school as mine but he left Carolina with his mom during the festive season, every night I lay in bed missing my parents, sometimes I would cry too.

Andrea always cried openly when she missed our parents but I was the boy, I had to be strong so I didn't cry out in the open, whenever we would ask abuela if our parents would call for us, she would give us light hearted responses like

"your parents are working very hard for you abroad"

She would say smiling brightly "where do you think the money for food and toys comes from" she would ask, but I would notice her every night in the kitchen making dough and early in the morning she would make arepas( fried dough bread) and stuff them with some stew.

She would have filled as many as two ten litres plastic buckets with them, early before school she would make us arepas for breakfast and give us some for school, she would accompany us to school whilst carrying those buckets and only leave us halfway or when we met other kids from our school on the way there.

I would turn back to find her smiling proudly at us not a shadow of distress on her face, the following morning the same routine would occur, one night I asked her what the arepas or who were the arepas in the buckets for, she then claimed they were for the children of the secondary school.

One day our teacher didn't come so we had a free class, I didn't want to stay long at the school waiting for Andrea until the school was out, I knew I couldn't leave without her, so I decided to pass time going to investigate my grandmother's claims, I followed the path she took after she dropped us off, it was a bit far off, so I asked some boys my age who happened to be street kids where the secondary school was but I made a mistake of adding that the secondary school is where my grandmother gave away arepas to the students.

The kids enthusiastically gave me the directions, I went to the secondary school it was a lot bigger and rowdy than my primary school, the buildings were two storey tall with broken windows, there were older children playing outside during school hours a practice not allowed at my primary school.

I saw a few women carrying goods some were arepas but most were cool drinks and sweets, I saw my grandmother seated alone in the far corner where she was seated under the shade of a tall tree, her two buckets sat beside her, she had a solemn look on her face, none of the children appeared to notice her or approach her for her delicious abuelas.

I felt sad looking at her like that but I didn't dare come to here because I knew she would scold me, luckily one of the teachers an elegant lady came and spoke to her, my grandmother graciously gave her some of the abuelas, the teacher gave my grandmother a banknote, money, soon the others came and got some abuelas and each time each of the people who got the abuelas gave my grandmother money in exchange.

As a eight year old boy this I didn't understand, for instance I always thought everything was free not necessarily free in a sense where you get things free, I always thought nice things like food were for free.

I knew alcohol was a bad drink that was sold and that toys were sold or gifted, I knew there were people who sold food but for instance those that did that were usually the poorest of us, for instance all those people who sold food were very poor, usually people who sold food and things on the streets were treated poorly and in no friendly terms.

For instance I would see how my mother and father avoided food sellers at the beach here in Carolina, infact my friends even made fun of those who called out people to buy their wares. Seeing my grandmother sell arepas hurt and embarrassed me.

I didn't want a food seller for a nana, I would be the butt of jokes from my friends, but my grandmother oblivious to my presence sold her wares with remarkable poise and grace.

Embarrassed I was about to leave when I noticed the two street kids walk past where I was crouched at over to where my abuela was, my grandmother welcomed them kindly but the kids began acting strangely and talking to my grandmother.

My grandmother answered them I couldn't hear the exchange from where I was but I could see clearly that it was intense, out of nowhere the kids grabbed one of the buckets and they began running towards me...

My grandmother called out to the children at the school to assist her but they just looked at her and the fleeing boys and laughed, I didn't hesitate I took off my jersey and school bag threw them on the ground as the boys approached my way oblivious of my presence..

I came out charging for them out of my hiding spot they were prematurely celebrating stealing from my abuela when I tackled the one carrying the bucket, the bucket fell and a dozen arepas fell on the dirty grounds I began pummeling fists on one of the boys, when I noticed the other try to jump me I stood up and began punching him hard and with vigor.

What I never mentioned was the fact that I was always a skilled fighter, out of all of my friends if you needed someone to defend you, I was always the one called upon. The two boys stood no chance, the rowdy secondary school kids gathered around and cheered me on...

From a distance my grandmother and other elders rushed to stop the fight, my grandmother was unaware it was me fighting there instead of being at school, one of the boys fled but the other was tougher like me the boy didn't give up easily but I fought hard to defend my family's honor.

When the elders arrived they stopped the fight and chased away the school kids, my grandmother upon realizing I was the one who had been in the fight gave me a look I couldn't even describe, it was so painstakingly hard to describe, a look of utter disappointment, betrayal and hurt.

It was a look I hoped to never see on her face ever again, me and the boy were disciplined with a cane by one of the teachers and told to make peace and shake hands.

I refused whilst the boy meekly apologized to my grandmother, my grandmother picked up the arepas on the ground and handed five of them to the boy having wrapped them in a newspaper.

I almost lost my mind with rage, the boy thanked her and rushed off, for me my grandmother scolded me for fighting her battles and also abandoning my sister, none of my explanations were validated by her.

We returned for my sister soon after on the walk home my sister and my grandmother talked happily about her schooldays and what she had done, whilst I sulked the entire day and later that night I didn't come out for dinner instead I listened as my grandmother and my sister act delightfully without bothering to check on me as I expected.

I was resentful and bitter about the unfairness of it all and how there was no justice in the world, how someone could commit a crime and still get rewarded whilst you could do the honorable thing and get punished instead.