4 - The Return

                                                                                                 

"It's closing in on us!" shouted Marcus as we rose towards the sky. "It's fast, Kate! Hurry up!"

Kate flew Frai like a horse that was quickly thrown forward. A gigantic electric ball that followed us behind glowed with a thunderous glow and even illuminated Frai's insides in a mixed silver color.

As its sparks, which were thrown around like they were made of that needle, closed the distance between us, I realized once again that we were engaged to death. No matter what we did, we were going to end up in its empty hands. But that shouldn't have happened today.

We couldn't count the poignant hands of time gambling on people's necks like spikes blowing in the wind. It wasn't spring, and dying on this strange planet was not something any of us would want to do when the season fell on us like a tired man.

The electric ball was cracking. As it flashed sparks, it turned out into a brown-hued glow and roared like that. The electrical energy emitted from Frai was dragging us after us like a woman inviting in.

"It's the same energy in the ghost field!" Roder said excitedly. "We need positive ions Kate!" She acted without hesitation as if it were an order. But as soon as Kate did that, the energy ball accelerated even more frenziedly and continued to come after us. It was like a wild animal cornering its prey.

"Wrong! That's wrong!" I shouted. "Charge negative!" I ran towards Kate. Nina looked behind me like a camera recording me. Her gaze was like a tracking device fixed on me.     

Kate did what I said quickly. The sphere gradually curled up and disappeared into the earth like a dagger. There was only one deep void left. It was a numb and meaningless world.

"I'm sorry, Kate!" Roder said in a low voice. "I just thought it was positive charge." 

"Never mind!" said Kate. "If it wasn't for you, we never would have thought of that." She continued.

When Frai moved forward and took a normal course, the sun turned it back on and began sending its lights out of dark clouds that were miles thick. Below appeared an eye-catching brightness and color.              

On a wide river reflected between light blue and green tones, columns resembling minarets were rising. It was as if these columns were the feet of a giant building. Most of their large, shapeless shadows moving sideways were like this due to the movements of the water. They seemed like a child trying to trap the shadows when the water rippled.

This amazing planet had a beauty that would make nature painters jealous in its own strangeness. But it was as dangerous as those poisonous flowers. If you'd made a mistake, it would have taken it like a hungry wolf. Its wild hands were reason enough to scare you into looking at it while inviting you to die.

Despite all this, I was looking at this charm with my head against the transparent glass. It was charming like the lure of a hot woman. The big birds that roamed the air made you feel like you wanted to see the same woman's hands around her body look at her. All this vitality that flowed, it put captivity and freedom in the same container and mixed it like the inside of a cloud.

We were flying over a big mountain when Nina approached me. A white cloud set made motions in itself, making it feel like cotton balls. I likened its softness to Nina's soft, smooth face. She was as natural and attractive as she was.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I said. "It has a natural beauty just like you." I took my eyes off a mountain line that looked like a fish skeleton and looked at Nina. As I extended my hand towards her to stroke her sweet cheek, she stopped me with her eyes. Suddenly I felt I did something wrong. But there was probably a reason for that. "Ed," she said in a calm voice, as if to read me.

"Yes?"

"Let's keep this between us for now." She said.

"Like Roder and Kate once did?" I was relieved.     

"Yes."

"But there's no need for that anymore." I was confused though.

"But keep it that way for now. Imagine what Kate would do to us. She’ll never leave us alone."        

"Whatever you want. I'll say yes to anything if it makes you happy." I said. "You know, when J left, he whispered something in my ear." I continued.

"What did he say?" Her voice was full of curiosity. Her thinned lips were half smiles and glowing.

"He told me that you loved me too. Then I've decided to tell you. Otherwise, I would never have known you loved me."

"You've always been a friend to me. It would be hard for you to see that in another way.

"I would never have understood that," I smiled. "You're so good at hiding things that even Kate is always in shadows when it comes to extract information from you."

Kate yelled at us like she heard us. Neither of us cared about her for a second. The smile and loving eyes that looked at me were glowing. They transformed the whole being into a dark universe and showed me only her beautiful face. I wanted to swallow the meanings of her gaze. I was there, and she loved me. That was all I needed. What could I need?

Kate yelled again. "Guys, we're almost there!"

Nina looked at her for a little while and turned back to me. "How did J even know that?" She asked curiously.

"I feel like he understands emotions." I whispered in a mixed voice.

Marcus made his way to Kate in front side. Below was coming a beautiful sound from a waterfall, the bottom of which glowed in green and white colors due to the surroundings. That great symphony of nature touched our souls with a composition of its own. The top of the waterfall was flat and shiny like an ice rink. There were big stones on it that looked like they were floating. The water flowing hundreds of meters deep acted as if it was making a long journey to the heart of the planet. As it was, it resembled people who had been searching for a lifetime. From a curious scream to a calm cry, it emitted a voice in every tone.

We've only been here a day. But I felt like I'd been here a long time. It's become a real one. I had a heavy feeling in my heart to find truth and happiness. I told the woman on this planet who would change my whole life that I loved her. I kissed her on this planet. On this planet, I was faced with moments that my heart would stop.

"I love you." I told Nina, slowly walking away from her. I deliberately rubbed my hand on her smooth, warm hand. I walked away from her with a stir in my heart. Walking away from her the last thing I wanted though. But that's what we were hiding like guilty children, causing it to turn into unfinished emotions.

The biggest obstacle for man was himself again. It was like the reward and the curse felt the same thing at the same table. The person who wanted unlimited life lived a life of captivity on his own borders. It was strange enough to turn pain into bliss and bliss into grief.

"Me too," Nina whispered. She knew I'd hear her. She already knew everything about me. Because only when we really could be whole in each other. We felt like a deep vortex swirling around those deep feelings where they hid their fears and courage. As we kept looking for them in the worlds we lived in and out of, they were unwittingly opening themselves up to us many times. I did this. Unwittingly. A long time ago. I'd already opened all my doors to Nina, and she'd learned everything about me. But was it possible to know one soul from all the directions?

Yet it was still a process I didn't understand. Our lives were constantly changing. What happened gave us a direction, and then we started to give direction to what was going to happen. We were in an uninterrupted cycle that was evolving. Everything was integrated, and after a while it was divided within itself, causing new variations.

I didn't realize where we were when we were flying and I was in those thoughts. Until, after crossing a small hill, nothing about ZenaSer-Hewa appeared over Sea of Zelalaspi.        

"They're gone!" I said in a desperate voice. I didn't understand why that feeling came and got to me. But something happened. Something was standing apart. It wasn't because of the ship I couldn't see right now. Something was leaving, even though the reasons were unclear. It's something I couldn't unite, but I was afraid to know.

"Don't worry, Ed." Kate smiled, looking at me. "They're here. They're just invisible. Well, you know. It's a matter of security!" She had a fun voice. Actually, Kate was right to do it. All the people in Cordy were overly agitated. Maybe they were too focused on this. Or if we were ordinary people, we wouldn't be able to do it. Maybe the secret was hidden in a place that could never be solved. No doubt that was an open-ended comment.

"Well, did you let them know we were coming?"

"There's no need for that. They're watching us right now". Kate replied as an image was forming in the distance. The ship had changed color. This time, it looked more like blue with gray.

As Kate slowly approached, we waited at the gates on both sides. I was hoping that by the time we got there, my feelings of alienation would go away. Marcus, on the other hand, was already used to completing a mission. Nina was impatient, but every once in a while, she looked at me and smiled which was the only thing that gave me comfort.

Asino, Xwa and Layap were looking at us and this new and interesting vehicle with excitement and surprise. The look on their faces was filled with impatient curiosity.

"Tell me everything from beginning!" said Xwa as we got inside the ship.

"Where are Jason and Simon?" asked Asino in a hurry. Marcus smiled at them and got off Frai. This facial expression surprised them with a deep dilemma.

"We'll tell you everything. With visual." Kate said.  

"And everything's fine." Esme said with a smile.                                                                                                     

                                                      --------

                                                                                                                                                                                        

Kate was standing where everyone could see her. At Asino's insistence, we had to stay a little longer. The fact that they no longer had anything to fear from this planet made them all wonder.

The force that destroyed everything was actually a conservation area, and it was very difficult to identify. Neither the Gauga nor anyone who came after knew that. This planet was somehow mysterious. But the Gauga somehow found ways to make themselves invisible from these protected areas. That way they could navigate the planet's surface. Their system was very good. But then their own people, who appeared among themselves, caused them a lot of deaths to a state of extinction for some purpose like to use AI to prolong their lives. As a result of some misdirecting, everything had gone wrong. But now it was all over. A new life had begun. This would be a start not only for the Gauga people, but also for many people around the world. Something new was starting. Now that I was sitting there listening to what happened, I understood everything better. Something was going on. Maybe that wasn't so bad.

Kate took turns opening the visuals and answering questions about this civilization. Marcus stood by her for questions that might have been more political. Because Gauga had an unfortunate time.

Esme and Roder talked to Nava Bedew once in a while. It was like Nava wanted to learn something more specific. This woman had a very interesting character. She was acting differently from everyone else, and she was on the lookout for something to happen at any moment.      

Nina was sitting away from everyone, staring at them all. I was the one who sat closest to her. We made eye contact with her. There was a stranger in her eyes I didn't know.

"You look like you're feeling stranger?" I asked, smiling.

"I think I miss the old world. I mean, the future. I think it was worth everything like just sitting in the evening and watching a movie." She said in a sad voice.        

"Maybe you'd be watching alone right now?"

"I don't think so. You owed me a movie. Remember? I could have changed it to any movie at home after all."

"So, you haven't forgotten?" I sounded excited.

"Have you?"

"No. But I had no idea which movie we were going to go to."

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure it'll be better than the boring conversation they're having right now."

"Then shall we have a little fling?" I suggested. I've been dying to be alone with her.

"What are we going to do?" Her voice was excited and impatient. Maybe she was thinking the same thing as I was.      

"Come on, get up!"

"Aren't you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Don't worry, you'll like it." I smiled. I went back to Roder and told him we wouldn't be around for a while. But he seemed bored, too.

"We're coming too." He said suddenly. Esme smiled and got up. Neither I nor Nina achieved our goal. It wasn't a disappointment, but when you're happy, you want to be there for the one you love at any moment, and it was a partly excited, partly bitter feeling that it gave. Maybe my feelings and my logic should have worked together for something like this and overcome it.

The four of us left and went down a long corridor. Gravity was still the same here, but I still felt a weight. It was like that thing was in my veins once again.

"Does anyone have any idea where we're going?" asked Esme as we walked.

"I think I do." Roder said with a smile.

"Then you're the leader." Esme said smiling

"Asino has a botanical garden. He said we'd go there whenever we wanted, but I don't know where it is."

"Do you mind, Ed?" asked Nina. She looked me in the eye and smiled. She wasn't hiding her feelings when Kate wasn't around.

"Give me a few seconds." I smiled.

When everything went back to normal, the first thing we left was security. It's been the same for millions of years. The emergency command room was empty and all the monitors were just left open.

The kitchen was the same. Everyone was listening to Kate. I headed for another compartment and then another way. This place was like an abandoned ship. It was as if everyone had returned to their homeland.   

I decided to go to the top floor. I speeded up. For a moment, everything seemed to have changed. It was like I was in a rainforest. This was a very strange place. It took me back to the future.

My dad and I were watching a documentary on the National Geographic Channel. My mother was cooking right next to us on the kitchen counter. When my mom cooked, me and dad liked to be there for her. My father let both my brothers sleep because it was an early Sunday morning.

He loved us so much that he knew immediately what the expression on our faces meant. It was my little brother who loved him the most. He was more like friends with my dad. Me and my brother used to hide things from him sometimes, but he never left anything that he didn't tell my father.

"Every person has a deep desire for protection that lies within them." he said suddenly. My mom turned her head and started listening to him, and I was trying to listen to him, even though I was keeping an eye on the TV.

"The first man had landed in an almost entirely wild world. There was no one on earth but him and his wife, whom he had not seen since he landed there. This huge world was empty and there was a deep fear that it was giving." he continued. When he realized that we were listening to him, he picked up where he paused. "One of the most powerful qualities that the creator gives to man is that he protects himself in a different way from all other creatures. Even in that wilderness, even the wonderful work that people do shows why we're so important."

The screen introduced the life and environment of tribes in the A****ns. There were houses set up on the tops of trees and bridges between trees. When the A****n River overflowed, it covered an area almost the size of Britain's face, indicating why they lived high.

My dad was right. Man has always been different from other creatures. Because that's what I was seeing right now. That's what human nature required. In addition to its natural wildness, the garden also contained a deep human labor.

All of a sudden, I thought it'd be better to bring the others and look at the whole view. I went back fast. But it was all frozen. Nina was looking where I just spoke to her about my last sentence. Esme still had the same look on her face.

Ed, that thing said. That sound was back. You're looking good.

You? I immediately asked. You've been gone this whole time?

I'm where I'm supposed to be now.          

What's that supposed to mean?    

I came here to thank you. 

I don't understand.           

I can tell you something. I think you deserve it. After all you served me well.

I thought you were something inside of me. Like a part of me.

Yes, that's one of your stupidities. You fall for everything fast. But it's not that bad. After all, there's always someone who wins.

What do you mean?

I was angry, I didn't know why, but it made me feel bad about myself.

This was my planet. I mean, it is now, I didn't like it at first, but then everything started to be fine. Everything was going to perfection.

Then one day Captain Asino came from an exoplanet. I hadn't left my planet until then. Thousands of years later, I realized that my planet was no longer in its old location and that my planet was passing a short path into a new orbit because it was now in a new dimension. This was your dimension.

These people who came back then were larger in size, and that made me choose them. The idea of a new planet was very tempting. Despite my strength and abilities, I couldn't leave my own planet on my own. Because I'm a species that needs a body for transitions. That's how it's going to be as long as you're in exile. But now it's not that important. Now everything is being reshaped. That's why I want to be involved in this change. One day everything will change. One day I'll go back to my old body. And then something new will start for me. It's a fresh start, and you've got a big part to play here. It's all going to happen because of you. I couldn't have done it without you. The mistake I once made has now been replaced by something new. Thanks to you, I'm back here. 

I wanted to get out of here in the early days. And when the planet came out of its former position and took its place in this solar system, I had an opportunity. I went into the body of one of Asino's men. But they quickly lost their energy and died in the face of my power. Two people were already dead by the time they entered the Earth's atmosphere.

Asino realized it wasn't normal and fixed the ship in the air. Then they locked me up doing something I didn't know about. I was stuck in the dead body of the last man. They took me to earth and made me wait there. But they burned his body, and I managed to escape. The world was a stupid place, and I lost all my strength. I couldn't kill myself. Everything was bad.

I was studying everything about the planet I was in exile on. Of course, I didn't stay idle, and I got my revenge on Asino. I'm not going to tell you how though.

Then you came. There was the energy of the ages that accumulated in your bodies. So, I sent you an HDD, and you became the first victim out of curiosity. Then I was in your body. I sent you to the library and convinced you. There's nothing easier than fooling a good man.

And in the end, you were quickly convinced. Because that's what the circumstances required. Now, thanks to you, I'm back on my own planet in exile. That's why I wanted to thank you. I also paid you and your friends. I gave each of you a gift. I'm afraid you've taken too much out of curiosity. And for some reasons, your body is different. I don’t understand it but something is different with you. But you don't know how to use most of the talents you copied from me. So that is okay. Maybe they'll surface in time. But it doesn't matter. Long story short, you are a weird being and I loved the journey with you. And it is also fascinating how you could carry me without being harmed. That is still a mystery to me.

So, I was a carrier? Did we do all this to get you here

Partly, yes. But in the end, you got your reward.

So, what are you going to do here?

Do not worry. I'm not going to hurt anyone for a few centuries. In the meantime, I'm going to gather my strength. And then I'm going to enjoy myself. You know, their blood is really dizzying. Unfortunately, they can't stand my energy. You're very weak beings, but your unprocessed intelligence is really dangerous. You humans are interesting.

Why are you doing this?

For revenge. Those who sent me here in exile one day will regret it.

But you said you were going to take a part in what was coming.

That's the truth. But you're not my goal. You're just vehicles. That's all there is to it. I know you want answers. I wish I had them too.

I didn't know what to do. I was angry, but I couldn't control something like this. Somehow everything had changed. Somehow this thing didn't have to use me as its own vessel anymore, and now it was free.

You don't have to hurt people. You don't need them to get your revenge.

I know that. But I don't have to answer to anyone.

Maybe that's why they sent you into exile.

 None of you can tell what it was for.

You still have a choice to forgive, to let go. You can get rid of all your troubles.

You don't get it, do you? This has nothing to do with forgiveness. It's my nature. I'll make them pay for what they did to me, or they'll come back. That's all there is. My revenge is not about forgiveness but a necessity. And yet it seemed happy. At least that's what I understood.

What's your structure? How long have you been in this form?

It's been a long time that I don’t even remember how to be in my own original vessel.

How old are you?

I’m immortal if that’s what you want to know.

You can still give me a number as the years you have been born.

You wouldn't understand. I live very differently.

Like being undead?

No.

Well, what's it like?

You're in for a stupid curiosity again. That's what I hated the most about you. That's why you took so much from me.

Well, do you still have to live as a bad person?

It's my nature. You can't change that. And good and evil are only a perspective. Once you, you’ll understand this.

But you can still change, can't you? Like serving in a more positive way.

Don't lecture me on morality. It's not something you want. But I can warn you for what you did for me. After all, your destination will no longer be that old place.

What have you done to Earth?

I had to feed, and when I did, my evil powers got to them. It changed their genes.

Who?

The Dark Ones. You people eat every shit to live for a long time. So, I helped them by giving this to them.

What did you do to them?

You'll see. You're not the only ones with talents. And that will make someone very angry.

What do you mean?

Your abilities radiate a distinct and powerful frequency. That'll draw them to you. Think of it as a warning.

But you?

I'm separated from you now. And that's going to get a lot of anger to you by her. There will be someone who'll want you. You're a good man, and you're not infected by my evil like the Dark Ones. Somehow, I was blocked from infecting this side of me to you. But hers will never leave you alone.

Then I won't go either. I'll stay here.

That'll do me good. Your body suits me very much. Maybe thanks to you, I can build a physical ship soon and destroy the people who sent me here sooner.

Reason?

…

Why?

…

It was gone. All the good things were gone with it. Every talent had a curse, and I just had figured it out. As the freezing time unraveled in my gaze, a new and terrible winter began inside me. I helped to set a trap in a world where there was no fortune or luck. Betrayal was hot inside me like a fire burning inside me. It had betrayed me. I had betrayed all the people. Now maybe we'd be dragged into a new, never-to-be-overcome vortex.

As the world turned around, there would be people who were thrown away by the evil that shook them. Salvation was the first step in captivity. Right and wrong would mix and lead to a murky world. Something had started it, and the ropes that reined in time were broken.

I regretted it. I was devastated. I was finished. My existence was nothing but evil. Not just I had done any harm, I also had caused it to fall apart.

I left myself there in that eternity-like time. I wanted to die. Because living like this was more painful for me than death. I made an annihilation. I was done with everything. I became the last button of what existed, what was created with love.

I lay forever in my own regret. I asked for forgiveness. I wished for a way out. I wished luck. I had no choice. I couldn't see another way out.

I stayed like this until the known places disappeared. Everything was stagnant for what happened except me. I was in my own pain beyond the bounds of time in the stillness of silence.

Bad things were happening. But I still felt something else when I got like this. Things changed one after the other. Something beyond imagination came to life. All of a sudden, the walls all around me fell down. Physical spaces and limited consciousness disappeared. I found myself in a place beyond a place where love surrounded all the worlds. There were voices, but they weren't exactly sounds. There were lights, but they weren't what I thought they were. They were alive. They were moving. They weren't linear. They looked like they were going to be everywhere, but nowhere. They were infinite, but they had formed a singularity. And all of a sudden, they all started talking like an endless chorus of one voice. I left myself to that eternally loving moment that surrounded me. In the boundlessness between the two events, I was something else, I was somewhere else.

Nothing is for no reason. Everything flows in a flowing order on the eternal journey of a whole. In reality, there is no good or evil. There really are no dies. Everything is an experience. In essence, everything is one. And each of us plays our part in this endless game. There is no pain, joys are not as short-lived as you think. The world is a land of variables. And each of you is there for a certain time. Each of you is there for a purpose. You sense something's going to happen. You can hear your essence. In time, everything will become clear. Don't upset yourself. Don't put yourself in the realm of negativity. When you wake up like this, you won't remember our conversation or what that being who spoke to you before us said. But you'll feel the effects. It'll give you both sadness and peace. The two effects will coexist in your body. So, you will feel a deep peace in serenity. It'll give you a deep sense of wisdom. And you already have it. Our love is with you. We'll be united soon. Then you'll know the secrets.

Time accelerated and my thoughts, which trembled slowly, scattered like broken pieces of glass. I didn't know what happened. I had feelings, but I wasn't sure what those feelings were. I let time speed up. I started to bring myself back.

After just one-126th of a second, everything accelerated to its normal pace. Nina still had the same request in her eyes staring at me. Esme was smiling and Roder was waiting for my answer.

"Ed?" asked Nina as she gazed at my devastated gaze. "Did something happen?"

"No." I said calmly. I had an incredible serenity in me. "I don't know what it is, but I feel like I’m whole with an endlessly still sea. That feeling didn't exist before I speeded up. But now it seems to come from a place I don't know."

"You’re okay." Nina held my hand. I felt her existence inside my very core and that was a good feeling.

I didn't really know why or where all these feelings came from. I was like a radio station collecting data from a vacuum. The feelings and influences that both upset and delighted me were coming and gathering in me. I wasn't sure what they were. After a long time, when I heard Nina's words, I realized that I was now in a normal state of mind.

"Maybe you're also affected by the range of human emotions because you're getting too fast and you're getting anywhere in that time. These are things that science doesn't understand yet." She continued.

In reality, nothing was known.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 ---------                                                                      

                                                      

Asino got up immediately and played with a few digital keys, as if he had made a sudden decision. Virtual and 3D images of Nava and Xhero were created.

"Get ready now!" He said in a surprised voice.

"There are dozens of problems that need to be solved. We'd better get ready right away." Layap said as he quickly followed him away. Marcus looked at them. There were problems in the world. The Dark Ones had started a war. This was a very short message that came to us and it was immediately interrupted. That's why Asino told us we had to leave now.

"We have a very special weapon. We can destroy all of the Dark Ones." Xwa said calmly.

"Are you sure about this?" asked Marcus. "After all, they're human beings. I mean, it's not good to go to war without understanding why they're still doing something like this. Wars are not the answer."

"No one knows what they are. It doesn't matter if we're in such an advanced era. They have the same thing. Maybe they have a better technology. They may have been trying to camouflaged themselves while we were trying to save ourselves."

"Which means you shouldn't be so sure." Marcus knew how to answer. War wasn't a rhetorical thing to do. It wasn't as simple as it sounded when people's lives were taken. To kill a man, you must first put aside all your human thoughts, which is a very difficult thing to do. Even the fear of their ghost in your eyes is enough to blow your mind.  

Marcus and Xwa were still talking when a virtual image of Asino was formed. Roder and Kate were talking about something else at the time.

"We're leaving now." Asino said. "Everyone better get ready. Secure the element." Then the image suddenly disappeared.

We immediately went to the central command room and began final preparations. Once everyone was fixed in their old place, the ship was ready to fly.

ZenaSer-Hewa rose steeply. This part of the planet we left behind was now preparing for an evening. As we made our way to the upper part of the atmosphere, in the east, Gauga's lights illuminated the air like a rising light from the ground. Jason and Simon were there now, and they were going to grow old and die safely. That's all there was. Death and life... There wasn't much uncertainty about living the boundaries at a certain time, but one's choices would change it so much that everything could change in the end.

While I was thinking about these short changes, something suddenly took me to another time.

"Run!" I shouted. "It's your turn!" Tamara looked me in the eye and smiled. My mom bought her a blue sweater as a gift. She wore the pink scarf her father bought her and gloves of the same color. She looked like a coy gazelle cub.

"But where is my puppy?" She asked calmly.

"At home and waiting for you at." What Tamara did most was worry about her dog. Now it was so big and would never leave Tamara alone.

Tamara ran along the narrow street and left the schoolyard. It was snowing and it was making everything look like a fairy country. She ran all the way to me. She was thrown into my arms. Then she looked up at me. I loved her very much.

"Is he all right?"   

"Yes! Did you know he likes cartoons?"

"Huh, huh." She nodded.

We got on a bus and drove off. I was so close to getting a driver's license. My dad was going to buy me a car as a gift. It was going to be old and cheap. But I wouldn't mind. His gift was worth all the money.

I'd been thinking about Tamara's being without a mother the whole bus ride. She was an angelic girl. When she smiled at me, I could see how quickly she affected people. She had such a deep soul that even at her age, her mature gaze was taking me away. It was like there was me in this world to love what existed. I was getting these divine lights with her every moment. There were deep thoughts coming from her. Somehow Tamara was something else. She was deep and divine.

"It's going to be okay." Nina said calmly. Suddenly everything I remembered was gone. Nina was innocent and beautiful, just like Tamara. She was deep and divine.

"I know." I said. Maybe that was a lie. I didn't want to sadden her. She was sad enough already. Although she didn't say it, she had deep sorrows. Somewhere, those sorrows were neither for her nor for me. At one point, these sorrows came from an unknown time and flowed into her loving heart. These subtle sorrows, which were unclear where they came from, felt painful, if not painful in their normal pace. I could see them in her eyes. Somewhere, me and Nina were the same thing. At one point, we were all the same. At one point, we were the same as eight others. Somewhere, we and most of the people on this ship were the same thing. But Nava wasn't like that. There was something about her. I didn't know what it was. But somewhere, she didn't have the same resemblance that surrounded us.

Nava said everything was ready just as I was thinking about her. There was a secret expression in her voice. It was the kind of thing that would put me in doubt. It's like my suspicion was being confirmed. No one could see it though. I reminded myself to be careful about her.

Everything slowed down and I looked up in my seat. I was accelerating and time was running out. But it was too late. My voice would never stop Asino's freezing hand as he moved fast. I felt like I was hurting. I didn't know what kind of pain it was. I didn't know where it came from. It was as if all of a sudden all of humanity was hurt, and at the same time it came and burned me in its own intensity.

Asino's hand was only 1.27 millimeters from the button. Something was frozen 0.93 millimeters from the virtual touchscreen. It was showing exactly the number 3. As soon as it touched it, a new coordinate would have been entered that followed, and Asino's hand would have given it the final command. It was all going to happen in a second. And no one would know what that thing was or what was going on.

I wanted to get up and get there in that endless time. I could have prevented this prematurely. But I couldn't. Something, something I didn't know, came and pinned me there. Its influence enslaving me was not bad or painful. I was peaceful, but still filled with pain. It was a huge dilemma. Pain and peace were intertwined. They were rising with each other and crossing worlds. But they still came back and hit me with stronger influences. It was coming even stronger every time.

The ship would definitely be somewhere different from where it was supposed to be. I could see it in the complex and contrasting feelings I was in right now. And I wasn't allowed to do anything. Something more than me, us, was controlling the case. IT was making it happen.

All three options left for him to go to just appeared.

The 3D screen moved to react to the incoming object. At the top, there was a number 3 in green. There were two orange numbers, two 2s and two 4s, in the apartment that just below. The numbers 5, 6 and 7, which continued on both sides at the horizontal level of 3, were glowing. At the bottom, numbers 8 and 9 descended as a ladder step.

The ship would either go 76,535 Sbp -km- at the level it was supposed to be and in opposite directions, in a place that would stay 12,321 km above, or a crash 98,434 km down.

It was all going to end with an uneventful order. We were like birds flying to our deaths. I looked at Nina for the last time, and the ship started moving slowly. I was slowing down.

The object accelerated and hit 3. Asino's hand touched the button that was going to lead us to our deaths. 98,434 Sbp on the screen. My mouth slowly opened and my voice waved to stay on both earth and this planet.       

It was all over. All that was left was my own voice scratching my ears.

“Nooooo!”