Dear Fiary Diary

Day 4

Ever been broke D?

You wake up and realize, out of 30 days in a month you're only broke a day, it's a lot.

Ewoh Hehehe, my bad, there's been a mix up, I think I meant it the other way round, don't be offended. I wonder what that was.

I'll rephrase; you wake up and realize, out of 35 days in a month, you're 'unbroke' probably only for a day or half a day, or if it's miraculous, a day and half, or two days.

It's barely amusing.

What brings in money though?

And when it comes, what keeps it?

What should be done to hold or make it work into multiples?

But then what's the first step to getting there —up there?

Well I'm here to answer all your questions, and bring yes to your dreams, and make you know all these...

Lol... Oh my God... I'm laughing my ass out...

Talk about misplayed tennis or anything 'misplaceable'... Lol ...

I'm sorry, I'm trying not to laugh, lol...

Hahahaha, lolz ... Oh my God...

I'm sorry if I'm laughing too much, just can't help it...

***

Alright I'm back..., sorry for the, probably dry humor.

Okay urm... Now don't even get any funny ideas of thinking, that I'm the guy in the second paragraph. No way, clean that idea off your head, purge it.

I just went to check which was the second paragraph, and I'm not even sure — and one would wonder what one has been doing in school. Okay, I'm also sure, the greeting don't count as its own paragraph, that being the case, then yeah I'm correct, the second paragraph, that's not me— ish.

Ahem..., so today, I was able to do a little something. I got an ice cream, as a birthday gift, or a birthday something — whichever rolls off the tongue. Oh, and, it's a belated birthday 'something' actually, today is the 8th day after the birth date.

I think for some reasons, it looks better on TV or in novels, or —even crazier— it might actually be like that in real life, but getting stuffs as gifts or simple gestures, are actually bills. I mean you see a show one with dates, and whole dates go, and the focus is mainly on what's happening on those dates and not really on the wallet — except for movies, that have the pocket in mind. But each action is actually a bill, and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying of course these things are not common knowledge or sense — or it might not be— but, the fact that I'm looking at little giftings as bills, is a problem.

I think it's a two way coin thing. The first being, it's no biggie and shouldn't call for a diary page, and second being, it's worth the noting — that giftings are bills.

But here's my own cup though; I wanna do a lot you know. Like I told my brother today "you know when you plan for something, but something else has you planned up", but in hindsight, another putting would be "when you hope for something, and something else hopes you're not bothering yourself with the hoping — cause you got special orders, you know, like you're going to see something called 'shege' or in another words, 'other plans'."

And just to put things in proper order, No, nah, the ice cream wasn't a date something, or for someone like that. I got it for my brother, same one I gave the adage.  Had his birthday earlier this month, and all I could do for him was, probably staring and using words, I really wish it wasn't the second paragraph situation— cause of course, that ain't me. Amen

I'm really trying not to sulk, and this probably isn't that, just a heartstrings talk. I'm an elder brother, I urm... I have 3 younger ones, with an elder sister. So practically I'm a First son, and from anywhere that comes with quite the responsibility, and what eats at me, is that, I can't do anything I find tangible enough for them. Just another guy who's practically almost out of practice. Words are good you know, but does it have to be the only thing that can be offered. You know what's crazy? I don't even think if a matter arises that involves real solutions, I would be called, like for practical solutions.

I don't want to be a broke nice guy, it's distasteful, and looses credibility, cause I mean, for all anyone knows, "He could be nice cause that's all he has to offer, dude's as broke as, dude could be an ambassador for broke in itself" — of course I'm not 'dude', amen.

I want to be me and have enough to spread out, that way no one says, I'm nice and humble cause it's all I could be, but that I'm that way cause I can afford not to be — by some standards— but I chose to be, I'm nice and humble not cause situation says I gotta be, but cause it's who I am, who I've been made to be.

Believe me, you don't wanna be an elder sibling who can't effortlessly buy everyone Ice cream, there's no fun in that.

That reminds me, did I ever tell you, that it's a few months to Christmas, and I have 3 months on my hands without school to interrupt, and I got an offer to work at a place, after having to do the calculations, by the second or half of the third month, I'd have gotten the money I need to replace the school fees I lost— used cause I miscalculated, don't ask what sort of miscalculation finished a 300+ k. But, guess what...? Well, I'm here writing to you bud, that's what.

So what options do I have you ask.

Well, there's sulking and there's suicide, which do you suggest — of course I'm joking, amen.

It's a joke though, even the thought of suicide is old now, it's outdated, it doesn't hold water nor ground anymore. There was a time it did, but that's too old now... If anyone asked you what comes after suicide thought. Tell em, meh. Or you tell, a point where you're like "let's think of better things, that one's old" so meh in short. So just meh would, do I guess...

If you're wondering about the suicide stuff ... The first time I had an encounter with it, was after my mom died, hehe...funny story...

And that reminds me, you know I left yesterday talking about Talios, funny thing, 24 hours later, I think I ended up with only two lines, talk about speed huh...?