Dear Fiary Diary

Day 3

Hey D

Ever stayed and wondered? Or been like, or it hit you, that people are really good, like really talented?

Alright, on my way here; moving from my day-to engagement, to coming over to this draft —on my phone of course, incase you were wondering— I was scrolling, or rather as I was about to click myself into here. I saw a book cover, it was looking very attractive. It had a white decor, there was a deer — a white deer— and a guy in white clamored armour, in a snowy background, it was really good.

So I of course clicked on it, I just wanted to see more about the book, and I checked the 'update', and guess what was written; 10 new/ week. Which technically means, 10 written chapters for that week.

Woah..... I find it really impressive, and you check other books on W******l and you'd see many others like that, like 'Library of Heaven's Path' for one— did I ever mention it's my one time all favourite, I love 'Heng Sao Tian' writings.

One time I had all his books in my library, unfortunately the only one that was in writing was just 'Library of Heaven's Path', the 'notebook' own stopped being serialized, same as the 'Uncle' own, if you follow his work you'd know what I'm talking about , lovely books, too sad they stopped being serialized for what ever reason.

Now back to 'Library of Heaven's Path', the 'updates', super impressive, with 10 or more new chapters a week, or close.  Do you know how impressive that is? To be able to have an actual novel with word building, character development, scenes, including fight scenes, all these works and still be able to have a back to back impressive uploads, that's insanely good.

(My experience on W******l, D)

I told you I had a book I'm working on, and I've had the idea and have been on it, for a year now, with only 20 chapters outed, it takes my entire mind space to work on and most times I'm out of ideas.

Earlier this year, I was partly consistent, at least I dropped something every week, then as if swept by an evening breeze, I was out for 4 months, just imagine, and I really want to write more of the book everytime, I wonder the issue. Am I not focused enough? Also I have another book , I really love that one too,  it was kind of my first, like first real time big novel. So I had a first version of it written 7 years ago — hehehe, I had no idea 7 years had passed on just like that already.

After the first version, it definitely was a mess, but it was original and innocent, hahaha, really something I can't post, except for the fun of it. I'll do a count of all books I've cooked later on. So this particular book, about Jimmy, I had the idea of revising it and refurbishing it, the world building was massive, the characters had to be revisited, like it became a new world.

So I have a good friend —  maybe more about him later—, after he crossed checked it, and gave his opinion on it, I had to leave the book, it was too much of a mess, plenty confusing power build up, and I really just felt drained and just let off, and stopped my writing of it in the second chapter — I guess. And I really felt hopeless as a writer, or an aspiring one.

Firstly, I had issues with word use, for most actions, I barely had the right words for them, writing on a larger scale than home writing, was a different world and level on it's own, so you could imagine my frustration, I had words in my head, but couldn't pen them, cause I didn't know how. Could spend a full day trying to make a full sentence line make sense the way I really wanted it...

Mmm... Really something, it sorta added to my frustration I guess. So I kept it and continued whatever I was doing with my life, now I think about it, I was doing pretty nice stuffs, was in the choir. Haha lovely choir days, another Day's story.

So I sorta left it, and one day, I was watching a series, a K-drama series — and please don't even get me started on how guys don't do K-drama , that's screwed up, the stereotype is unrooted— , so my series, 'Its okay to not be okay' spicy name right? So the pretty co-protagonist lady, she was a celebrity writer, of children books. And I liked it, I liked the idea and how it made me feel children book could be this nice to be a writer of. And then, I thought too,

"Well, maybe bulky books wasn't my thing, maybe I should go back to my days of moon light stories — like my sis once said I was pretty good at."

And I thought why not. Now next thing would be, what to write about, and boom, I got inspired reading my Bible, you might not see the coolness and bad 'assness' in that, but it was, and I had my story, and I really wasn't going to do anything that would take me more than a week to write, a couple of days infact. And this, I started, but guess what, it grew bigger, I couldn't help it.

The idea blew bigger than I had planned for, and I couldn't do a small book anymore, and thus, a year in ,I'm still working on it. And I really love the work, I love the twist that even I don't fully anticipate, it's like I'm watching the book work out it's own story by itself, the Holy Spirit is one bad ass.

But of course, there's the me factor, not thinking I'm good enough, or that the book also might not be, but it landed the contract on W******l at first trial, no rejections nor appeals for correcting of anything, just smooth contracting.

Although my contracting took more time than the one I heard the usuals take, and I also signed my name incorrectly, leading me to having to resign the contract, but I got it. I haven't set any chapter on premium as of today that I'm writing to you yet, I plan on doing that for the next chapter, that I haven't even written yet, and that's probably where my other factor comes into play —the delay own, not laziness of course, hopefully.

As much as I love the idea this book has, putting it into work is not really easy, and it's has it's hurdles, maybe I'm being too careful with it, or not... I'll talk with the Holy Spirit for help later, or maybe now.... hehehe.

Anyways, I'll be on my way bud, I'll see you tomorrow, or next time I visit, I might have a lead on Talios... See ya