05. Home

It's freezing... I can feel the cold water drowning me. The sound of softly flowing water, as well as the sound of water falling onto the floor. I gradually feel my whole body, it feels as if it is freezing cold.

I moved my right hand's fingers, and I could sense there were five fingers there. When I open my eyes carefully, it's strange to look at the glaring white light in front of my eyes. The incandescent light was clearly visible as if I still had two eyes.

So this is what it feels like to get my eyes back?

My consciousness still hadn't fully recovered, but I realized I must be lying in a bathtub. Somehow the water that filled the tub didn't drown my face, but only made it wet.

After I felt my consciousness had fully returned, I tried to get up. I used the side of the tub to stand upright and then walked out of the tub. I look at the reflection of my body in the mirror, it feels very familiar to me yet very nostalgic.

It was a body I hadn't seen in a long time, with long straight black hair that reached my waist, a pair of eyes as dark as night, and pale white skin. All those things made me feel like I was in someone else's body, and of course it made me uncomfortable.

The longer it went on, the more bone-chillingly cold it became. I couldn't help but want to get out of this place. I opened the unlocked bathroom door, feeling a bit of doubt inside me.

Is that boy waiting for me outside this bathroom? I wondered if I should feel embarrassed at my current state, as I had forgotten the concept of shame and respect for a long time.

I opened the blue door, no one was in the boy's room. I only found a frilly white dress on the small table. did the boy want me to wear it?

I couldn't find any other clothes to choose from, so I had to wear it to cover my body. The dress was quite long, reaching down to below my knees. But the chest and waist were too narrow and made my curves look so obvious.

Ah... I suddenly remembered something, that young boy's name... If I'm not mistaken, it's Aji right? Was he the one who hid my clothes?

I opened the brown wooden door in front of me, it was not locked either. I didn't hear any sound other than the faint sound coming from downstairs. I walked down the stairs slowly. Even though I am currently in my new human body again, I still can't get used to it, and several times I almost lost my balance and tripped.

I saw that there was no one downstairs. The center room of the house was empty, with only a blue sofa and a dumb old TV. I stepped into what I thought was the kitchen, a faint sound became clearer, it was the sound of boiling water.

"Aya?"

My steps stopped, that voice that called me... Now it feels calming to me...

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That awkward feeling, have you ever felt it? I rarely feel that feeling. I don't know why, but maybe it's because I rarely care about the people around me.

But this time, I really felt it. Feelings of nervousness mixed with unexplained feelings, and feelings of wanting to keep smiling but being held back by something I don't know. All those feelings came up and I felt them just because of the long-haired girl I had just known for a few moments.

She was now sitting not far from me, on the same sofa as me. She looked completely different from her previous self, with a complete face and pair of eyes, straight hair that smelled as fragrant as the frangipani that used to grow in the cemetery, and clear reddish-white skin like a newborn baby.

She sat slightly hunched over, her legs dangling weakly to the ground, while her hands clutched the fabric of her white dress, she looked down at the floor, and her long straight black hair fell on the soft surface of the red sofa.

She remained silent, after expressing her gratitude for the brewed flower water in the cup I gave her.

She then fell silent. Just remained cold and silent without a word. Aya, the Kuntilanak whom I pierced her head with Paku Puntianak Wesi Abang. Now she just looked like an ordinary teenage girl. I don't know what to do now, or what to say to her.

Ahh Aya. Why did she suddenly fell silent? Why didn't she complain? Why didn't she try to run away?

"Aji..."

The words I was waiting for finally arrived, delivered like a sudden breeze...

"Eh... Hmm... Yes... Aya?"

Aya finally spoke, her voice soft, while shamefully stealing glances at me. Her bangs partially covered her face, only her clear black eyes could be seen looking at me sneakily.

" Now what?

What are you going to do with me?

Now there's nothing I can do...

Even if I cut off my head many times, you'll be able to bring me back to life, right?

Besides...

Running away is useless...

In this human form, I'm really weak...

I won't be able to live among humans with a rapidly decaying body like this..."

Aya's words made my face turn grim. The old man had really handed over the responsibility of Paku Puntianak to me, and therefore Aya would automatically become my responsibility as well.

"I don't know... For now, all I can do is give you a place to stay.

Since I can't lend you my younger sister's room, or my parents' room...

You can use my room, I'll move my things in there."

"No...

You don't have to, I don't need any of those things...

All I need now is a reason to live...

Aji... Since you have turned me into a human...

You should also be responsible for giving me a reason to live!"

A reason to live?

I unconsciously laughed in my heart, all this time I never thought about it...

The reason I'm alive? The reason I was born?

None of those thought ever came to my mind...

Because I live like water...

I was no different from my wall clock which now showed one o'clock in this morning. I just keep moving, repeating every event in my life just like that. Without ever thinking about what it all means. Because that's how I am.

"The purpose of life huh?

How about...

Being my companion forever?"

I looked at Aya's pair of charming black eyes, she looked back at me full of question marks. One by one, her hair moved to show her face. It looks sweet and innocent, unlike the faces full of hypocrisy and pretense that I have always seen throughout my life journey.

"Eh? Become a companion to you."

I laughed out loud, letting Aya be in her confusion

"Just kidding...

By the way, how come you have no purpose in life? Didn't you live like me before? Don't you want to meet your friends or family?"

That spontaneous question. Maybe I'll regret it a little. After hearing my question, Aya showed her sad face again. The sad face she showed at my bedroom window every time I saw her sitting on the branch of the banyan tree.

"I...

I don't know...

Whether I have a family...

Or ever lived like you...

That is... Because I don't have any memories in me...

All this time I lived only by relying on my survival instinct. Even when I drank your blood, I just thought that

I was starving and wanted to eat something.

I...

I'm really no different from a monster, am I?"

Aya smiled bitterly as she lowered her face, she looked at her long legs swinging under the black table.

"You're wrong Aya. Listen to me, there's nothing wrong with trying to live. If you have to hurt others to stay alive. No one will condemn you.

What matters now is your remorse and your efforts so that you don't hurt others again.

After you've tried to do all that.

If you can't bear it anymore.

If you end up having to hurt someone else.

Just do it, do it to someone who will always forgive you. And understand your true feelings.

Understand your feelings that you don't want to hurt anyone."

Aya fell silent, I don't know if she understood the words I said to her or not. I talk too much, that's what I think. I shouldn't have interfered too much in her life. We still don't know each other. I was probably just a stranger who forcefully entered her life.

"Is... Is there anyone in the world who can always forgive my mistakes and understand me at the same time?

Being hurt by me all the time, it must be very painful."

Aya fell silent, she seemed to be expecting it. She was not a bad person. Aya is just a girl who somehow got trapped in her current state.

"If Aya was looking for someone like that.

Maybe Aya already found him..."

I felt stupid for saying that. I'm usually so ignorant and now I'm trying to be cool, it feels really weird.

"What do you mean?"

I just paused, then smiled. Will my feelings that cannot be expressed by these words be conveyed to her? I don't think so. Aya just kept looking at me, she was waiting for the answer that was locked in my lips.

But unfortunately I couldn't say it.

"No... It's nothing. Anyway, from now on the most important thing is to find your lost memories..."

"Hmm... I see..."

Aya nodded, for some reason we smiled together. After that I told her many things. My encounter with Old Man Slamet, the Puntianak nail, and also the story of the mysterious Agnia. Aya listened to the story carefully. She kept looking at me, making me feel that she was really listening to my story.

Occasionally Aya nodded, responding to my stories by asking me about things she didn't understand, or commenting on some of the things she liked.

" It seems, Aji is getting into a lot of trouble just for getting close to me..."

"But I don't mind all that..."

Suddenly I remembered something, ahh yes the old man's message about food for Aya.

"Wait a minute Aya. I have something to do..."

I got up from the sofa, picked up Aya's empty cup, and walked to the kitchen past the black table. I returned after taking the seven kinds flower water that I had brewed with warm water and also a plate of food for Aya's snack.

I served the brewed water and the food on a tray. Aya just looked at me confused, she seemed a bit traumatized by the water I gave her the other day.

" Old man Slamet... The old man told me that you could only drink the seven kinds flower water and the food offerings that were used to feed demits.

I'm having trouble remembering what the food is, but for this time I'll give you a hard-boiled native chicken egg."

Eight hard-boiled eggs with no salt and no shell were laid out on a glass plate. The fragrant smell of the eggs clashed with the odor of the sevenfold flower brew in an ivory-white cup.

Aya took the ivory white cup first, savored the aroma and then sipped slowly.

"How is it Aya?"

"My body feels warm after drinking it..."

Aya put the cup back on the table, then slowly picked up one of the hard-boiled free-range chicken eggs and held it with both hands.

She blew out the steam that was still billowing over the milky-white egg, Aya then tried to bite into it. I faintly saw the tiny canine teeth she had used to bite me.

Aya's first bite managed to make her face brighten, it seemed she was really happy to be able to eat human food, after all this time drinking blood.

"This is really good Aji...

It's really savory. Ah... I've decided, this boiled free-range chicken egg will be my favorite food..."

The long-haired girl I had seen with that pitiful look was now smiling...

Smiling freely as if carefree...

Somehow I felt relieved...

I can finally erase her sadness now...

For just a little while...