Chapter 1: A BIRD IN THE CAGE

As always, I take a big sip of my coffee and continue to finish my homework. The loud crowing of the rooster signals the beginning of a morning. It's now past 3 a.m and I still haven't slept. When 7:30 a.m. I need to go to school, every day of mine has passed so tiredly. I close my books, prepare to take a short nap, and go to school. But just an hour and a half later, the door to my room is opened, and my mother with an angry face walks in. She forcefully wakes me up and slaps me in the face. With glazed eyes, I look at her, my heart beating faster. The pain in my cheek makes me numb. She drags my thin body to the desk, thrusts the almost empty pen into my hand, and shouts:

“Why are you sleeping? The previous ranking was only 2nd in the whole school. Why don't you ever listen to me?" – She says, knocking hard on my head – “I forbid you to close the door, why are you disobeying me? How much more do you want me to suffer?”

She rambles on, cursing me until she gets angry. Every day she always finds something to criticize me for. One day, she banned me from eating dinner because I didn't study for 16 hours a day. I am extremely tired of this heavy life, there have been many times when I have argues with my mother. And each time, she always makes the excuse that without her there would be no me, and if I say that again she will commit suicide. I think her unpleasant and extreme personality is one of the reasons my father had another woman, even a stepchild while my mother was pregnant with me.

 Of course, I never supports my father's actions, because his lover used to beat me just because she wanted to show her power. My father hasn't come home for a long time. Well, if I were him, I wouldn't want to listen to my mother's complaints or nagging all the time. After all, this marriage is arranged by adults, before the wedding day, they have only met for 2 weeks. Two weeks of getting used to living for a lifetime? It's absurd!

Adults are selfish! They never accept their mistakes, but always make excuses and pass them on to unrelated people. My parents always say that the reason that this marriage broke up is me. My paternal side's family respects men and despises women, so I was not recognized by them.

“If you don't study in the future, you'll become the kind of girl that steals people's husbands! Damn it" - she says, throwing my books on the floor, and turning to leave.

Why compare me to them? Will knowledge determine human morality? I ask myself and then pick up the books. As a bird trapped in the lap, I dared not protest.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel so bad about myself: Puffy eyes and dark circles from staying up late, a haggard face, purple and cracked lips, and a hunched back,... I brush my teeth. Hastily, my hair was cut short like a boy’s (because my mother likes it), change into my uniform, and walk to school.

"Goodbye, mom… I'm going to school"

“Don't make me have to go to school to find you”

I don’t answer, then leave immediately, looking at the blue sky with golden rays, I feel uncomfortable. I hate even happy families who exercise on this road. They are annoying, always smiling and having a good time. Even the puppy always curls its tail to cheer me up even though I'm not its owner anymore. It's all so annoying!

As soon as I get to class, the school bell also rings, and another annoying person comes to talk to me:

"You come at this time every day, don't you, Daisy?" - She says while smiling.

Ironically, I'm not close to her. But out of courtesy, I just hum and quickly return to my seat.

“Eh, that’s so cold!” – Someone raises their voice as if they are referring to me – “Milan, she's an excellent student, we have nothing to talk about with her!”

They just treat me like I don’t exist in the classroom and talk bad about me. I also never claim to be good enough to argue with them, I don't need friends anyway. Friends are just a nuisance and a waste of time! In my class there is another annoying person, his name is Daniel - The new transfer student in the class, a guy who always makes everyone laugh with his boring jokes, he is also my tablemate. The person who annoys me the most. Every time he goes to class, he keeps talking without stopping. It would've been better if he hadn't dragged me into all that nonsense. Every time I ask my teacher to change places, she always told me to help him in studying. He studies poorly, even the most basic knowledge does not have. So I never follow my teacher’s advice. I don't want to deal with such an idiot.

"Hey, it's not Halloween today?"

Right when I am listening to the teacher, he asks again. I ignore him, but he keeps repeating the stupid question over and over. I have to nod to make him stop, but then he covers his mouth and chuckles.

“Then why are you dressing up as a panda today?”

Before I can get angry, a piece of chalk from the podium hits him in the head. The teacher scolds him for talking privately in class, then even drags me in. When I confront her, she replies:

“I see Daniel speaks twice, which means you have to answer before he can continue, right?”

With such absurd words and short-sighted analysis, I feel extremely uncomfortable.

“Also, Daisy, you're a student, after all, the teacher says you should be obedient, right? I know you ranked second in the whole school but you should remember, that you are still inferior to others. I'm just reminding you of that!"

Just like my mother, she brings the matter of ranking into the conversation. To embarrass me and give in? No one says anything about the times when I won first place, only once did I drop the rank, everyone brings this up to laugh at. The haters in the class are happy, they look at me with disdainful eyes. I just look down, don't say anything, just clench my fists. He then scratches his head and says:

“It has nothing to do with her, teacher. It is me who start the conversation first!"

"Is that true? You shouldn't be covering for her."

How to cover? It is he who causes it, but now he is like a hero in everyone's eyes. Does he cover me? What do I do for him to cover? Is it because he is the son of the owner of a large corporation, and always supports my school, that the teachers defend him like that? Damn, it's true that having money, having power, will enjoy many privileges. Society is inherently unfair. Suddenly, a severe headache hits, my eyes become blurred and I can no longer see, I fall into the murmur of the class.

I don't know how long it takes, I wake up, and before my eyes are the medical teacher and the person I am most annoyed with – Daniel.

“You had low blood sugar, so I faint. Remember to take care of your health!” She tells me kindly.

He looks at me slowly and asks:

"Are you OK? I asked the teacher to stay here as soon as I carried you to the infirmary.”

I roll my eyes and look at him.

“It's all your fault, stop acting like a nice person. If you're going to use me as a tool to fulfill your dream of becoming a hero…” – As I speak, I yank on my infusion tube.

The nurse sees this and quickly stops:

“Oh my god, what are you doing? Just rest for a while, your mother will come to pick you up soon! The homeroom teacher called your mother!"

"My mother?"

Those words are like lightning in my ears, the thing that scares me the most has come. If she knows about this, she will surely get angry. At worst, she will ban me to eat dinner and beat me. I am scared, my face changes color.

“Why are you so pale, Daisy? I'm sorry for joking around!"

I ignore those words, hoping that I would quickly return to the classroom. But before I can do anything, my mother is led to the medical room by a teacher. She glances at me with sharp eyes, then smiles and thanks the medical teacher and Daniel. I am escorted to the car by her, and when she is out of sight, she pushes me inside and says in an extremely angry voice:

“What are you doing? Low blood sugar? You only have to study. Why do you always make me sad? Do you know that I'm working and I have to run to pick you up? You missed a class, just because of your stupidity. Have you ever understood my feelings?"

“So… will you ever understand my feelings?”

This is also the sentence that I regret the most, when she hears me reply like that, she immediately slaps me in the face with harsh curses. I am in pain but not in tears.

“Do you have a heart? Do you also ask for a heart? I am so unlucky to have given birth to a child like you!”

So are adults allowed to grieve? I don't have a mind and a heart? Why did you give birth to me with all these organs and not let me use them? I have tear glands too, why won't you let me cry? I'm not you, I have my own life too. I wasn't born to be controlled by you. I hate my mother, hate, hate, hate!

If only one day I dared to say these words. A bird is still a bird, I am still bound by the iron cage.