2026-03-27 09:43:21
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Chapter 127
I fainted again. This time, I had a goofy, lopsided smile on my face that even the "Red-Ranger" visor couldn't hide.Barnaby and Herbert stood over us, their mirrored visors reflecting the ridiculous scene."Should we help him?" Herbert asked, poking my limp, red-leathered arm."Nah," Barnaby sassed, checking the safety on his Yellow-Ranger rifle. "He’s been working hard. Let him enjoy the 'Tactical Comfort.' Besides, the Gorgon-Wyrm is still two days away. He’s got time for one more nap."Elsa just sighed, her face turning a shade of pink that matched her suit. "He really is... the most awkward merchant in any realm."*****I woke up on the velvet sectional with the grace of a flipped turtle. My "CEO-Red" leather suit was still so tight it felt like a full-body hug from an over-enthusiastic python, but the "Bliss-Coma" had finally worn off.The suite was quiet, save for the hum of the AC and the distant sound of Barnaby and Herbert practicing "Sentai Poses" in the hallway. On the ma
Chapter 126
The "..." bubble appeared instantly. My screen began to glow with a soft, rose-tinted light that smelled—I kid you not—like expensive jasmine and high-end mahogany.Ursula: A 'Magnetic' personality, Arthur? My, my. The Venus realm is usually so... loud. But a merchant who understands the tactical value of beauty? That is rare. I have exactly what you need: [THE APHRODITE VANGUARD COLLECTION].Ursula: It is weave-spun from silk-steel and enchanted with 'Admiration Aura.' It scales with the wearer's stats. But... it’s not cheap. It costs 1.2 million VP and a 'Sample' of your Southern KOK. For research, of course.What the heck?1.2 million VP? That was almost my entire war chest. But for a full-team Relic-Grade wardrobe that scaled with stats? That wasn't an expense; it was an investment."She wants the KOK, Elsa!" I shouted, pumping my fist. "She’s hooked! The bubbles are working!""Master, please stop calling the relic soda that," Elsa pleaded.I turned back to the phone, my thumbs mo
Chapter 125
For three days, I did nothing but laze around.The Southern Territory suite was a masterpiece of "Merchant Chic." I had the AC cranked down to a crisp 16°C, a temperature that would have made a Gothic Duke’s toes fall off, but for me, it was paradise. I was splayed across the velvet sectional like a fallen conqueror, dressed in my lucky oversized basketball jersey and mesh shorts, crumbs of a frosted strawberry Pop-Tart decorating my chest like edible medals of honor.Patrick Jane had finally closed the case. Red John was toast. I had binged three entire manga series until my retinas felt like they were vibrating. I was at peak relaxation, a state of high-performance laziness that only 1.5 million VP can buy."Master," Elsa sighed from her mahogany desk, the scratch of her quill against a ledger sounding like a rhythmic judgment. "The 'Tactical Volume' of your lip has subsided, your diction has returned to its usual level of unearned confidence, and yet you are currently using a 'R
Chapter 124
The next day, the Gothic sun was a relentless, jagged hammer of heat. By 9:00 AM, the obsidian spires of the palace were radiating enough thermal energy to slow-cook a griffin."Why on earth itsh too hot in here?" I grumbed to myself as I looked around.The humidity, thick with the scent of desert dust and the lingering grease of the "Victory Feast"—was making my charcoal-grey suit feel like a damp wool blanket. And my lips still hurt and swollen and no healing spell could help.I stood on the palace steps, my Red Beast idling with a low, celestial purr that vibrated through my boots. "Itsh time we move back home! I want my AC suite!"I adjusted my sunglasses, not the "Relic-Grade" ones yet, just a pair of high-end Southern aviators, and looked at the gathered Council of the Gothic Kingdom."It’th too hot," I announced, the lisp finally gone but the sass fully recharged. "I’m a Merchant of the South, not a lizard of the North. My AC thpells in the Southern Territory are calling my nam
Chapter 123
I leaned in close to Parnassus, lower my voice to a whisper. "Here’s the deal, Goldie. You sign the 15% levy. In exchange, I’ll give you a 'Relic-Grade' Bluetooth earpiece so you can listen to my 'Strategy Feed' in real-time. Plus, I’ll throw in a crate of KOK for your Queen."The Ambassador looked at Ellene. She looked like a winter storm waiting to happen. He looked at me, and I gave him the most charming, manipulative Patrick Jane smile I could muster while my lip gave a tiny, silver pulse."Fine," Parnassus hissed, reaching for the quill. "But if that dragon turns my capital into a rock garden, I'm coming for your bike.""Get in line, pal," I sassed, turning up the music as he signed the parchment. "Draco tried that. Now he's currently the 'Head of Customer Complaints' at the hotdog stand."I looked at Ellene. She gave me a microscopic nod of approval, the highest praise I could get. The Athens Treaty was signed. The Gothic Kingdom was funded. And I still had time to catch the nex
Chapter 122
"BUT," I sassed, pointing at Ellene. "I am appointing a Regent-Manager. Meet Ellene. She ith the 'Vithe Pretthident' of the Southern Interethtth. From thith moment forward, her word ith my word. She will handle the treaty with Athenth. She will handle the military drillth. She will handle the budget. I will be in the penthouse, 'Dithtilling Thrattegy'—which involveth me watching my 'Portal' and not being bothered by minor litigating."Ellene didn't flinch. She simply tucked her pen into her notebook, stepped forward, and looked at the Council. The temperature in the room seemed to drop five degrees as her gaze swept over the nobles."As the Master says," Ellene began, her voice carrying a cold, terrifying clarity that made even the Amazonian commanders straighten their backs. "The party is over. Duke Valerius, you will provide a full audit of the Granary by sunset. General Kael, you will report to Milla for 'Integrated Combat Training.' And as for the 'Gorgon-Wyrm'..."She looked at m
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