Home / Fantasy / The Scumbag’s Second Life / 2. A Scumbag's reincarnation
2. A Scumbag's reincarnation
Author: P. Sibanda
last update2025-11-25 20:11:58

"Now c'mon, shawty—let me grab 'em. Don't be shy." Malvin grinned, fingers twirling eagerly, warming up for a divine squeeze.

"T-t-take your filthy hands off me!" the goddess barked. "I am Rita, Goddess of Reincarnation! Show proper respect!!"

Malvin didn't hear a single word. He was too busy admiring her face, her curves, her everything.

He sauntered up again, caught her hand gently like a gentleman pretending to be one, and kissed the back of it, inhaling her scent shamelessly.

"Mmmm… soft hands," he murmured, kissing her again. "You should put 'em to good use. You know what I mean?"

A naughty wink.

"D-Don't—!" She shrieked.

"I've never met someone who's reached the peak of beauty like you." He rizzed. "I wouldn't mind spending eternity here with you."

At the word beauty, Rita flushed a deep crimson, though she instantly tried to hide it. "F-Flattery won't work! Stop this or your punishment will be dire!" she snapped, voice cracking.

Why was she losing her composure? Why was her heart racing because of this… this mortal? This scumbag? This absolute degenerate?

Why?!

Realizing she was one compliment away from actually falling for it, Rita panicked. She slammed her eyes shut and a gust of divine wind blasted Malvin backward.

"I—I'm a goddess, you scumbag! Don't touch me like that!"

Her face was tomato-red.

"Huh? Goddess?" Malvin blinked, standing up from the floor he had slammed hard into. "For real?"

Now that he thought about it… yeah, this wasn't Earth. And… right. He was dead. Took him long enough.

He immediately dropped to his knees and bowed so fast his forehead cracked against the marble floor.

"I'm sorry! Forgive me! I got overwhelmed by your beauty—I couldn't think straight!"

He meant it, too. This wasn't out of character. He had a long history of sleeping with women he absolutely shouldn't whenever he got horny.

Like his stepmom.

Or his therapist who was literally treating him for sex addiction.

"Now you've done it!" Rita puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms under her chest like an angry anime tsundere. "Fine! I accept your apology. But as punishment, I'll reincarnate you as the most despised child in the entire world. Let's see how you survive that!" she grinned cruelly.

Malvin grinned right back. Honestly? That sounded kinda fun.

"So this is like an isekai anime, huh? Like the ones Larry watches? Shouldn't I get a cheat skill?"

Rita's eyebrow twitched so hard it nearly broke off.

"You dare DEMAND cheat skills after violating a goddess?! Have you no shame?!"

Malvin winked. "You enjoyed it too, goddess. Admit it. I saw you blush."

She trembled violently. She would rather swallow a dying star than admit anything.

"Listen, you filth! Everyone gets three wishes before reincarnation. I already granted your first one—the wish you made before dying!"

"Huh? When Larry asked me what I wanted?"

She nodded.

"That doesn't count!"

"It DOES!" she snapped. "And because you violated me, you've lost your second wish!"

Malvin's jaw dropped. "Are you rigging me right now?"

"Warned you your punishment will be dire. Use. Your. Final. Wish. And don't you dare ask for infinite wishes—it doesn't work!"

Malvin was speechless for a second. He didn't know Goddess's were this rowdy, or he just happened to get an annoying one.

"Alright then. Here comes nothing." He smirked. "I wish to summon you anytime… and use you for anything I want."

"USE—USE ME?!" Rita shrieked. "How DARE you! You think you can use a divine being such as myse—"

A glowing screen appeared in front of Malvin.

[Congratulations, Host.]

[Wish Granted.]

[Skill Acquired: Summoner LV1]

Rita exploded.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! GET OUT BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND, YOU ABSOLUTE SCOURGE OF EXISTENCE!!"

Divine light swallowed Malvin.

He winked as he faded.

"I'll be summoning you soon, goddess. Make sure you're ready for me."

"GEH— I HATE YOU!!" she screeched, hurling a pillow that passed straight through his disappearing body.

And then his world was swallowed by darkness again.

A rattling of chains echoed through a vast hall.

Malvin groaned awake, blinking up at a high ceiling. He tried turning his head—nope. His neck was about as strong as wet noodles. Then he saw tiny hands. His tiny hands.

What the hell?! Are those MY hands?!

He tried to speak, only a baby's wail came out.

"Shhhh… don't cry, baby…"

A woman whispered, voice trembling and eyes red from hours of tears.

His mother. He somehow knew. But the irritating clanking of chains never stopped. When he focused, he realized the chains were around her wrists.

What the hell is this start? Why am I a baby? Where's my overpowered teen protagonist body?!

He'd scream at Rita if he could, but Summoner LV1 wasn't doing jack. To be able to summon a deity such as a goddess, he had to be at least LV5.

Wrapped in a blue towel, Malvin squirmed helplessly in his mother's shaking arms.

Beside her stood a man, her husband—whose human disguise had been ripped away. His real form was a living skeleton. No flesh. No rot. Just bone and quiet dread, something that would scare an ordinary person.

But this wasn't an ordinary gathering.

Behind them were rows of Archreapers in long black coats, glaring daggers of disappointment.

And above them, on three towering seats, sat the Trinity Sisters—the judges of all supernatural sins.

Their three voices blended into one:

"Albiel, son of Erebos. Archreaper of the Fifth Order. You have broken the sacred law. For that, you and all you hold dear shall die and be cast into oblivion."

Albiel lifted his skull-face. Empty eyes full of fear, yet defiant.

"I know my crime. But please… spare the woman and the child."

…Spare the woman and the child?

Wait. Spare?

Malvin's little heart skipped.

Is my life already on the chopping block?! I'm about to die before I even start?!

He wailed louder.

TBC

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