The Ultimate Epic Fail Influencer

Chapter 4

A deafening crash shattered the quiet air of the alleyway!

The two figures collided with bone-jarring, catastrophic force. The electric scooter violently slammed into the unforgiving concrete. The heavy plastic battery cover snapped off, flying several meters through the air before clattering against a dirty brick wall. The front wheel took the absolute brunt of the impact, completely warping into a mangled, unrecognizable shape. The entire vehicle tipped over on its side, instantly reduced to a heap of smoking, worthless scrap metal.

Sam Sparks did not fare any better. The sheer momentum of the brutal collision violently launched him off the leather seat, sending him tumbling across the rough pavement along with the insulated takeout bag strapped to his handlebars. The flimsy plastic food containers burst wide open upon impact, splashing piping hot soup and scattered vegetables all over the dirty ground. Miraculously, the smartphone securely clamped to the twisted handlebars survived, its camera perfectly recording the entire disastrous scene for his live audience.

[Hahahahahaha! Oh my god!]

"Holy crap!" Sam Sparks groaned.

[You go left, and I go right! Do you two idiots not realize that is the exact same direction?]

[I swear to god, I am going to literally die of laughter watching this stream!]

[This influencer is an absolute comedic genius!]

[With production value this incredibly good, I seriously suspect this entire high-speed crash was completely scripted.]

[I do not even care if he actually hit a real person or not, I am definitely screen-recording this and posting it online right now!]

[The streamer is a walking, breathing disaster. I am hitting that follow button immediately!]

Groaning in pure agony, Sam Sparks struggled to push himself up from the cold asphalt. His entire head was aggressively ringing, and his vision momentarily blurred into double shapes.

"I swear, I am going to punch this absolutely idiotic system right in its non-existent face!" he muttered through gritted teeth. "How in the world can anyone possibly call this God-Tier Luck?"

This was absolutely no minor spill. The skin on his elbows was completely scraped off, leaving behind raw, stinging flesh. His knees had taken a vicious hit against the hard ground, rapidly blossoming into a large, bloody mess that stained his torn jeans. However, the physical pain completely paled in comparison to the agonizing realization of his massive failure. He stared blankly at the steaming puddle of spilled soup. The crucial item for his very first broadcasting mission was utterly destroyed!

"I have absolutely no food to deliver!" he groaned, slumping back onto the pavement with a heavy, deeply defeated sigh. "That means there is no way to complete the task and get my reward!"

He had never in his entire life anticipated encountering such a ridiculously bizarre string of terrible misfortune.

A few feet away, John Baxton, the man who had been violently struck, was currently clutching his lower leg with a horribly contorted expression.

"Ahhhhh! Oh my god!" he shrieked, his voice tearing through the narrow alleyway in pure, unadulterated agony. "My leg is broken! It is completely shattered! It hurts! It hurts so damn much!"

His lower leg was bent at a deeply unnatural, sickening angle, and the bones around his knee appeared severely twisted out of alignment.

Hearing the blood-curdling screams, Sam Sparks felt his heart violently plummet into his stomach. A freezing dread washed over his aching body. He realized with absolute certainty that he was entirely screwed. His good friend Alex Cheek had drastically modified the engine on that personal vehicle, maximizing its initial acceleration torque. Because of that insane speed, the sheer physical force of the collision was devastatingly powerful.

Not only had he completely failed his crucial system task, but he had also managed to shatter a pedestrian's leg in the process! To make matters exponentially worse, the expensive vehicle he had just borrowed from his high school best friend was now a total write-off. It was a spectacular, devastating triple disaster! What kind of sick, twisted joke was his life turning into?

"Hey, are you doing alright? You are not too badly hurt, are you?" Sam Sparks asked, forcing an incredibly awkward, apologetic smile as he desperately tried to assess the horrific physical damage.

"Not badly hurt? Why don't you let me violently smash your leg and see how you feel?" John Baxton roared, his eyes bloodshot with searing pain and rage. "I am going to sue you for everything you have! I am going to make you pay for my medical bills for the rest of your miserable life!"

The blinding, excruciating pain radiating from his shattered bones caused him to completely forget his original, desperate need to use this hidden shortcut to escape. He just continued to howl at the top of his lungs, the sheer volume of his tortured screams echoing out onto the busy main street.

The massive commotion quickly attracted a large crowd of curious onlookers from the nearby hospital plaza. They swarmed into the narrow alleyway, forming a tight, suffocating circle around the wreckage and whispering aggressively amongst themselves.

"Oh my goodness, it looks like a delivery rider ran over a pedestrian again," an older woman commented, shaking her head in deep disapproval.

"The young people these days act so incredibly rash and impatient!" an older man agreed, firmly crossing his arms.

"Exactly! They are so wildly irresponsible!"

"Riding at that kind of breakneck speed, do they absolutely have to kill someone before they finally learn to slow down?"

"And look right there, he even has his smartphone mounted up to broadcast himself live on the internet! Isn't that literally just asking to get into a fatal accident?"

"Just looking at the horrific severity of that poor man's injuries, his speed must have been insanely high."

"The rider is definitely going to bear full legal responsibility for this tragedy!"

The bystanders continuously shook their heads in severe judgment, their critical eyes locked onto the mangled, smoking wreckage of the scooter.

Having just finished taking statements regarding the stolen wallet at the hospital entrance, several police officers heard the terrible screams and quickly jogged toward the alleyway.

Seeing the dark blue uniforms forcefully pushing through the dense crowd, John Baxton felt his face turn an incredibly sickly shade of pale green. He was currently a highly wanted fugitive with an active warrant out for his arrest. Furthermore, he had literally just stolen a thick wallet from a vulnerable old woman mere minutes ago! If these officers recognized him and took him into custody, he was absolutely guaranteed to spend the next several years rotting in a tiny, miserable prison cell!

However, with his leg severely fractured and screaming in agony, standing up to run was a complete physical impossibility. Trapped and panicking, he desperately tried to bury his face deep into the collar of his heavy jacket, praying to whatever deity existed that he would go completely unnoticed.

The officer leading the group was a striking young woman with a high, practical ponytail swinging behind her. She marched directly over and stood firmly in front of Sam Sparks, her posture rigid and her tone dripping with icy, unforgiving authority.

"State your full name and your identification number immediately," she commanded sharply. "And you better explain clearly whether you intentionally ran this man down."

Sam Sparks froze in surprise. The female officer standing before him possessed an exceptionally harsh and uncompromising attitude, coming across as almost entirely devoid of basic human empathy.

Before he could even open his mouth to defend himself, the chat on his mounted phone had already exploded into an absolute frenzy of thirsty comments!

[Holy crap! What an incredibly beautiful police officer!]

[This girl is absolutely gorgeous! She is exactly my specific type!]

[Her figure is absolutely incredible too!]

[If I had known there were cops looking like this, I would have applied to the police academy myself!]

[Even though this officer is stunningly beautiful, her attitude is way too aggressive and fierce!]

[You better watch your back, streamer! She is not going to let you off easily!]

[You can tell just by looking at her eyes that she is absolutely not someone you want to mess with!]

The young, stern-faced officer was named Ella Rogers. She was a fresh rookie who had recently graduated from the police academy with top honors. However, she carried absolutely none of the typical timidness or naivety expected of a newcomer. In fact, her commanding presence and dominant demeanor were often significantly more intimidating than those of the grizzled veteran detectives at her precinct.

Most importantly, she harbored a deep, burning resentment toward delivery riders like Sam Sparks, specifically holding a massive grudge against those she categorized as reckless speed demons. Her intense hatred was entirely justified by a recent family tragedy. Just two agonizing months ago, her beloved aunt had been violently struck down by a motorcycle riding against the flow of traffic. The horrific impact resulted in a severe comminuted fracture in her aunt's left leg. To this day, the poor woman remained strictly confined to a hospital bed, entirely incapable of standing on her own two feet.

Her family had drained their savings to cover the exorbitant surgical fees, and her aunt had tragically lost her lifelong career as a dedicated school teacher, leaving her chronically depressed and utterly devoid of energy. Ever since that devastating incident shattered her family's peace, Ella Rogers possessed a heavily ingrained prejudice against any rider who prioritized speed over basic safety.

And now, the bruised and battered Sam Sparks sitting on the ground before her perfectly triggered every single one of her most sensitive nerves!

His vehicle was completely destroyed from the impact! The innocent pedestrian he struck was screaming with a blatantly broken bone! And to add the ultimate insult to injury, he was actually actively live streaming the entire bloody aftermath to the internet! In her eyes, every single one of these factors was an utterly unforgivable sin.

"I swear to you, officer, I genuinely did not do this on purpose," Sam Sparks pleaded, trying to appeal to her reason. "Do you really believe I would..."

Before he could finish his desperate sentence, she mercilessly cut him off.

"What do you mean you didn't do it on purpose? Are you seriously trying to play the innocent victim right after running someone over?" Ella Rogers furiously scolded him, her beautiful eyes narrowing with intense disgust. "Just look at the immense damage caused by your speed! Did you mistake this narrow public alleyway for a professional racetrack? And shame on you for calling yourself an influencer! Who in their right mind broadcasts a live video while recklessly speeding through a blind corner? Do you have any idea that is a severe, punishable violation of traffic regulations?"

Without waiting for his response, she aggressively pulled out her law enforcement device and immediately began furiously tapping the screen to input his details.

The surrounding crowd eagerly chimed in, perfectly echoing her harsh reprimands.

"The police officer is absolutely right to teach him a lesson! Someone needs to aggressively discipline these reckless young punks!"

"You better get your wallet ready to pay some massive compensation! I won't even mention the pain and suffering damages."

"Honestly, this might be a good thing. Going bankrupt might be the only way to hammer a permanent lesson into his thick skull!"

"Riding a bike while reading a live chat... he clearly values internet clout over human lives!"

"Putting on a miserable face after crippling someone is truly laughable!"

Sam Sparks sat there in stunned silence, entirely at a loss for words. Internally, he was viciously cursing the entire eighteen generations of the Epic Fail System's ancestors!

God-Tier Luck? This was certainly a miraculous form of luck! An average delivery driver could work their entire life and never encounter these two catastrophic events. Yet, he had remarkably managed to experience a completely dead battery and a high-speed, bone-shattering collision on his very first attempted order!

[It is totally over! He is completely finished! He played way too hard this time!]

[Sigh, no matter how you look at this situation, the streamer is entirely at fault here.]

[Just looking at the guy's leg, those injuries are definitely severe.]

[He is going to have to pay an absolute fortune in medical compensation!]

[Compensation? Simply losing money would be getting off incredibly lightly!]

[The streamer just legally became an adult, right? He is probably going to get thrown straight into a jail cell!]

[This might actually escalate into criminal liability charges!]

[The Luckiest Stream on the Internet! He really set himself up for the ultimate ironic failure with that title!]

[This is a genuine, disastrous fail. He isn't even pretending anymore!]

[Securing free meals and a tiny room behind iron bars on his very first day of broadcasting.]

[He truly is the first person in history to achieve something this spectacularly bad!]

The chat began scrolling at an absolutely blinding pace. Fueled by the sheer drama and the brutal police confrontation, the viewer count skyrocketed, rapidly surging from a mere handful of people to over fifty highly engaged spectators!

[User 'Love You Forever' has gifted: Little Stars x10!]

[User 'Meow Army - Orange Cat' has gifted: Lollipop!]

[User 'Christmas Eve' has gifted: Spicy Strips x5!]

[User 'Sleepless Nights' has gifted: Large Beer x20!]

There were even numerous viewers who thrived on the chaotic drama, continuously showering the channel with a barrage of cheap, animated digital gifts as if rewarding a highly entertaining street performance.

Under any normal circumstances, Sam Sparks would have been absolutely thrilled and profusely thanked his generous viewers. But right now, with a furious police officer looming over him and a potential lawsuit hanging over his head, he had absolutely zero mood to celebrate.

"Do not even think about trying to leave this scene," Ella Rogers commanded coldly. "You are coming back to the station with us to be formally investigated for this incident!"

With a sharp, metallic clink, she pulled a heavy pair of silver handcuffs from her tactical belt.

Sam Sparks felt his shoulders slump, entirely abandoning any fleeting thoughts of resisting. A suffocating weight pressed down heavily upon his chest. He could honestly care less about paying financial compensation or getting his newly minted broadcasting account permanently banned from the platform. What truly filled his stomach with sickening dread was the unbearable thought of his highly judgmental relatives. When they inevitably discovered he had been arrested on his first day of work, their vicious, mocking insults would multiply ten-fold, burying him in a mountain of endless humiliation.

Just as the cold metal of the cuffs was about to snap shut around his bruised wrists, a frantic commotion erupted at the edge of the crowd. The frail old woman who had her life savings stolen earlier aggressively elbowed her way through the tight circle of onlookers.

Her tear-filled eyes locked onto the squirming figure of John Baxton on the ground. Recognizing his distinct jacket and pulled-down baseball cap, her eyes widened in a mix of pure shock and burning fury.

"Officer!" she screamed, pointing a trembling finger directly at the injured man. "That is him! That is the exact same man who just stole my wallet!"