That sound, of course, had been the momentarily forgotten door, as a quick glance behind me revealed. It was now quite closed, cutting me off from my home.

That should have stirred up terror in my heart, or at least a nagging uneasiness. I thought carefully for a moment, as this called for the greatest of caution and the deepest of introspection. After all, what if I was unable to open that door and go back to everything I knew?

There was the university, courses to teach, papers to mark, my colleagues with which to rub tweed shoulders.

And what about Missy, my cat, who occasionally came home and would sometimes, when in an odd mood, even allow me to pet her once or twice?

I might never see any of them again! Truly sobering.

What must I do? How best to proceed?

I shucked my ducky slippers and ran barefoot down the grassy slopes, whooping like a schoolboy after winning a cricket match. Yes, that's right, I ran toward the sea with reckless abandon! Not even another glance back.

Now, you may judge, but... Oh, clear off! It was the beach, man, and a more perfect white sand beach and clear, turquoise water than even exists in holiday ads were down there beckoning me on! So just stuff all of that judgment right in your cap!

I was going to have a swim. If you had tried to stop me, I would've bitten your arm off.

Down the hills I went, fast as the wind, zipping along like lightning and leaping like a gazelle. It wasn't long before I reached the sand, and it was delightfully warm between my toes, but I plunged onward and into that inviting sea.

Oh, the surf was so warm, but with just a hint of refreshing cool on that warm summer day.

I was in paradise, and soon up to my waist, splashing like a child! Oh, the happy bliss. The untold wonder of it all. The inexpressible joy!

It was then that I opened my eyes and gazed upon the band of angry-looking men with swords standing on the beach, sneering at me.

A whimper escaped my lips and, if I'm honest, I believe I peed myself a little, but you can't prove anything because I was up to my waist in that turquoise sea. So, sod off.

**

Yes, I whimpered, and may have even peed myself, but you can just take that judgment of yours elsewhere, as I'll not be having any of it.

They had swords, man, and they were sneering! There were some grimaces I grant you, and perhaps a glower or two, but mostly lots and lots of evil sneering. Furthermore, a careful three-sixty revealed that I was indeed the object of those dreadful sneers.

Despite that, as you may recall, I am not a man to be trifled with! So, with every bit of bravado at my disposal, I straightened my rather moist dressing gown and said, "Err, good morning, gentlemen."

That was when I was struck from behind by a good size wave, which tumbled me end over end and then deposited me at the feet of the aforementioned sneering individuals. As I lay there in my waterlogged state, attempting to brush sand from my face, the tallest of the group simply turned to the others and said, "Bring him."

It was then that my terror began in earnest.

I soon found myself bookended and unceremoniously dragged from the surf and down the strand by two ham-fisted brutes. Using my keen powers of scientific observation, I quickly deduced that these large, unshaven gentlemen did not have much practice with a little thing I like to call bathing. Nor were they versed in anything like polite decorum, or even common decency. No, I was little more than a sack of potatoes to these two as they dragged me along between them. My delightful holiday at the shore, it seemed, was at an end.

It wasn't until that moment, with my dangling feet digging two long furrows in the nicest beach I'd ever seen, that I recalled my abandoned slippers far above on that grassy hill. Something told me that it would be pointless to ask if I might fetch them first before being carried off to who knows where to do who knows what. Yes, surely pointless. Sod it all. I would be forced, it seemed, to go into whatever frightful thing might await me without proper footwear.

What did await me, I wondered? Would they take me somewhere they could dispose of my remains? After all, they couldn't possibly bring themselves to spoil a picture-perfect beach. My blood would absolutely clash with that idyllic white sand. No, surely they would kill me elsewhere, or would they?