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The Space Spoon
By: Helen B.Completed
Language:
English
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16
Chapters: 104
views: 6.5K
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Humans, robots, aliens, and energy life forms, all tend to like Tejeda for his easy-going personality, not knowing what lies beneath his ever-changing face. He is a Nubilae, a shapeshifting race known for their insanity. But Tejeda appears carefree and often amused even in the most perilous situations. His one-of-a-kind weapon of choice is a spoon, an old utensil that no one remembers anymore ever since eating has become obsolete. You will laugh at him. You will be scared by him. You will enjoy every step of his journey if you are a bit as crazy as he is. P.S. Full disclosure: Tejeda's character and plot revolve a lot around his immortality shenanigans. Join me on Discord: https://discord.gg/QNZtVmVWc5 My website: https://helenbold.com
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1. Prologue
Floating through the vacuum of space wasn’t Tejeda’s thing. Not knowing which way was up or down made him want to puke his guts out. But he couldn’t. Not in that spacesuit. That would have meant staying in his own puke indefinitely. The image made him want to vomit even harder.What was the point anyway? Weeks, months, or even years could pass till a spaceship would drop out of hyperspace in this god-forsaken part of the universe. It would have been best to take out his helmet and breathe in the void. But the cold touch of the spoon that hung on his neck strengthened him. Tejeda’s resolve was mightier than ever. He wasn’t about to let his poor lovely Carmen float in space forever.The Nubilae slowed down his breathing to preserve the oxygen and entered a peaceful state of meditation. His plan to pass as a human hadn’t worked out too well for him and led him into this predicament. Tejeda sighed. He should have known better than that a
Latest Chapter
The Space Spoon 104. Meat Suit Part 2
The door closes after the last man leaves the pub. Tejeda resumes his previous position and finishes his drink. By now, we are both soaking wet, but neither of us seems to care. My reason is the seven beers. I wonder what his is."Apparently, you're not leaving, and we've run out of time," he says as he turns to face me. His purple eyes sparkle. A chill goes down my spine. "These guys aren't going down without a fight. I might have to die to quench their hunger for vengeance. But the crystal I took is far more significant. It must be safeguarded."Tejeda leans forward, his hand reaching over the bar for the knife the bartender uses for the lemons. He sits again in his chair, gripping the handle with both of his hands, the pointy tip toward his stomach. I have seen this stance before in movies when someone performs seppuku.Filling his lungs with air, his chest expands, and he thrusts the knife right into his belly. I cover my mouth with a hand but not my eyes. I need to see what happe
Last Updated : 2022-07-31The Space Spoon 103. Meat Suit Part 1
A/N: A Halloween special side story, Meat Suit shows the events through the eyes of a normal, human nerd. Enjoy!***Halloween, the greatest night of the year. The time when I can go out with friends and be awkward as usual without getting a stare.I look in the mirror and see the dashing vampire I transform into every time I put on this ancient outfit. With extreme care, I place a black handkerchief in my pocket, covering the hole that reveals the lining. This year, I intended to get a new costume, but the latest game in the R****** E*** franchise and H***** 3 prevented me from doing so. They were released this year, and I had to get them, and then some.Sorry for not disclosing their names, but even in my diary, I avoid needless advertising. And don't make fun of me for keeping a diary in my thirties. Many people keep diaries, but they call them journals to appear more sophisticated and mature.The black costume’s collar is up to my ears, letting everyone see the red embroidered int
Last Updated : 2022-07-30The Space Spoon 102. Monster Within Part 2
Rayna followed him through dark alleys, avoiding the city's main thoroughfares and heading for the city's outskirts. There weren't many other people around since it was late and freezing. The two veiled shadows of the night were easy to miss. Illuminated figures appeared randomly through the windows of dimly lit houses.He stopped in front of a derelict house. The sculpted archway stood crooked above the entrance, but he went beneath it without a second thought.Rayna stared at the white structure enveloped in moss to make sure it wouldn’t fall on her head. When the Bralxoid disappeared inside, she swallowed hard and followed him.Doctor Iadfoc invited her into a small, dark room with a single goose-neck lamp illuminating the top of a large table filled with glass vials. He gestured toward a threadbare sofa against the wall. He grabbed a simple wooden chair and sat facing her. For once, someone wasn't looking at her with meaningless pity, for which she was grateful.Iadfoc had a scann
Last Updated : 2022-07-14The Space Spoon 101. Monster Within Part 1
A/N: Monster Within is a side story taking place about a thousand years or more before the action in the novel. Enjoy!***Rayna sat in front of the mirror, removing her makeup. Who would she discover underneath? Foundation applied in triple layers, contact lenses, even a wig to make certain no one would see her change.Skin patches of different complexions stretched across her face like puzzle pieces jammed together into a chaotic pattern. Some parts of the jigsaw had wrinkles, while others were as smooth as a baby’s skin.Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the edge of the mirror. Her heterochromatic eyes were both different colors than before she wore contact lenses. And her hair... Well, the hair looked more like a wig than the one she threw on the floor. Honey-blonde hair tumbled in waves over her right shoulder. Ruby-red hair, spikey like a hedgehog’s, pointed toward the ceiling from the top of her head. Black, curly strands went down to her chin from her left.She was a mo
Last Updated : 2022-07-13The Space Spoon 100. Sunsetrise Part 4
Time passes differently on Yacleemb. I can’t say it’s the 56 hours days, the peacefulness of the Spreahs, or Lyam’s company. What I do know is that I’ve lost track of time. Every day, he builds things for the village; he’s happy, full of smiles, and I’m drunk with his genuine blissfulness.Unfortunately, I still have memories and can’t help but feel guilty for not contacting our friends. Wanting to know how things are working out for our crew, I stroll through the forest to the shuttle. After it powers up, a small blinking red light appears on the console. A message from E00.“Shayla, I hope you’ve found Tejeda by now. More than two months have passed, and no news from you. In the time you've been gone, things got worse around here.“Since the day you left, Jackeye has been trapped inside his virtual reality. I can’t say if it’s a voluntary decision or not. He cut me off completely.“Cato took a shuttle and left the Space Spoon about a month ago. The Interplanetary Police files show t
Last Updated : 2022-07-12The Space Spoon 99. Sunsetrise Part 3
Shayla Bale's POVOnly Tejeda Hajar is capable of disappearing and leaving me with an ambassador’s corpse. Once again, I had to assume the role of acting captain and evade the Interplanetary Police. We are all renegades once more, as we were before Tejeda found us.The crew needs me to steer the ship in the right direction, but my thoughts are far away, following the faceless Nubilae who left us. I lean against the wall and stare at his empty chair, wishing he will appear there, smiling without giving me any explanation as he always does.“Thinking about him won’t bring him back,” E00’s voice echoes from the ceiling speakers. “If you want him here again, you must go after him.”“Don’t get me wrong, E00, I want to. But it was his choice. He left us. Even if I go after him, he may not come back.”“If there’s anyone who can shake him out of the state he’s in, you’re the one.”“Why must you torment me?” I slump in Tejeda’s chair, rubbing my eyes to forestall crying. The gesture is pointle
Last Updated : 2022-07-11The Space Spoon 98. Sunsetrise Part 2
Reaching out, Carmen’s hand brushes against mine. Even though I’m mad as hell, a rush of electrical discharges takes over my core. That happened every time she touched me since the moment we’d met. Every fiber of my body, carbon and silica alike, crave to have her again by my side.“I tested the spoon. All the results said the same thing: it’s Nubilae. Who was it?”“My sister, Celia.” For the first time, a vein throbs on Carmen’s forehead. But she regains the glazed look. “She died during Iadfoc’s experiment. Many did. The rest went insane. Only I, you, and Rahul remained true Nubilae. Well, now only you and I since you killed Rahul.”“He had multiple run-ins with me and my crew. If I let him continue, surely one of my men would have died. I had to do something.”“No,” Carmen shouts, showing the anger hidden behind her previous blank expression. “I sent him to see how you are and test you. Well, you failed. No Nubilae should value the life of a lesser being over one of his brethren.”
Last Updated : 2022-07-10The Space Spoon 97. Sunsetrise Part 1
A/N: Sunsetrise is a short story I've written before even starting the novel. It holds the ending of the first volume and is made up of 4 parts. The first 2 parts are from Tejeda's POV and the last 2 parts from Shayla's. Enjoy!***Tejeda Hajar's POV“Happy birthday, Shayla!” I invite her to sit on the blanket next to me with a pat.It took me about a week to create a perfect replica of Genoria Prime inside Jackeye's world.Once every two thousand years, Genoria Prime, a water planet with just a few stretches of land covered in sand, is perfectly aligned to get the ultimate romantic view. One of its suns sets while the other rises, a phenomenon called sunsetrise.To recreate it from my memories inside Jackeye's virtual world involved a few setbacks. But that isn't important anymore.Shayla takes one of the glasses of red wine and fixes her dark green eyes on me. “Whose body are you wearing now?”“You know bodies are just meat suits for me.” I give a sly smirk, looking her over. “Well,
Last Updated : 2022-07-09The Space Spoon 96. His Blade
Tejeda's lips moved as though they were not his own. “Who’s she?”Shayla placed a hand on his back, touching for the first time the sludgy skin he had in this form. “Tejeda, stop. He’s dead.”Tejeda lifted his head to look at the sky. He remained like that for a long while before murmuring, “Why did you kill him?”"Sorry! Next time," Shayla murmured, sheathing her scimitar, "I'll kill the other guy after he kills you."“How did you know which one was me?”“Really? Is there another idiot who would risk dying for a spoon?”She observed how he flinched but said nothing. There was something wrong with him. Nonetheless, Shayla didn't believe she had the authority to inquire. In any case, she didn't expect a fair answer from him."Did you bring any DNA for me?" Tejeda asked without turning around. "As you can see, I’m in bad shape."Shayla hurled a vial toward him, and he grabbed it with one of his two remaining tentacles.“This is the last one holding the blood of King Astin. Enjoy!”Tejed
Last Updated : 2022-07-08
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Kabirat Aleem
Yeah, right. Your modesty shines through. I love your humor, Helen B.
Gem
A frenzied, fun-filled fiction. If you're looking for a fast-paced chaos of humor and science, then you've found it! A fair amount of slapstick comedy, but there are plenty of dark moments as well, just as there's a blend of exaggerated silly psuedo-science mixed w/ carefully considered accuracies
Naughty Snail
Second number one fan here, to get things straight. Even when things get out of hand, you can't help but laugh. Tajeda's twisted personality is an absolute magic. Keep 'em coming!
Helen B.
Shameless and crazy, maybe even crazier than Tejeda, I give myself a straight 5 stars review. Why? I am glad you asked :) I laugh every time I write this. Ok, ok, I admit it, I am my number one fan because I am a genius. Have I told you that I am modest too?
Original Sin
Truly funny and an unique comedic space opera with a unique main character
Jarom Collins
There's never a dull point in The Space Spoon. Interesting worlds and characters with interstellar travel. Humourous but littered with mysteries, horrors and altercations.