Beast Tamer's Damned Regression

Chapter 1: The Morning After Dying

Varek Soren woke up screaming loudly and kicking things, anything his hands and feet could touch he kicked.

He kicked his blanket off so hard and violently that it tore badly, His foot caught the wooden chest near his bed and sent it flying across the boards. He threw the bedside table to the floor and the basin there shattered, the water inside splashed everywhere, he swung his fist in the air thinking that he was still on the cold table and it hit the wall… the pain shot up his arm but he did not even stop because he was not in his room anymore. He was back on the cold table with the straps cutting into his wrists and the metal pressing against his spine.

He could feel the blade going into his chest, he could still feel it all, he could see Vespera standing beside him in her dark gown, she was calm and quiet as always, handing the instruments to Aurelius one by one. Her hands were so steady and her face was innocent. She looked at him the way she used to look at him when they sat together in the garden, like he was the only thing in the world that ever mattered, then she smiled, that small gentle smile he had trusted for two years, and she told Aurelius to cut deeper while actually pointing where to cut from.

He could still hear her words…“Stay still Varek sweetie so that we will be done quicker, the earlier the better.” she said calmly with her sweet voice.

"Get off me!" His voice betrayed him and he broke down in tears while still shouting.

"Get away from me, just leave me the fuck alone please”

"Please." His voice sounds so weak like he's already defeated and he hates it, he hates how weak and helpless he sounded, he hates the fact that he was begging for his life, tears were already running down his face and he could not stop them.

"Please…please stop, I…i gave you everything, I loved you with everything in me so please stop cutting me." He was crying and pleading.

Marta rushed in with a kitchen knife in her hand and her grey hair wild around her shoulders. Her eyes scanned the room for an intruder and found only broken glass, overturned furniture and Varek thrashing on his bed with tears streaming down his face.

"Master Varek!" She held the knife ready to attack whoever it was. "Where is he? Who hurt you?"

Varek stared at her and his chest heaved slowly. His hands were shaking so badly that he could not feel his fingers. The room around him slowly came back into focus. The cracked ceiling, the grey window, the dead garden outside. He was not on the cold table but inside his room. Vespera was not here, the blade was not real but the tears were still wet on his cheeks and the fear was still squeezing his throat shut.

"There is no one," he choked out, almost inaudible. "Put down the knife, please."

She lowered the blade and set it on the floor. "You screamed like you were being murdered. I have never heard a sound like that in all my years, look at your hands. You are shaking so hard you can barely hold yourself up. What happened to you boy?"

"It was just a dream."

"Oh… that was not a dream, a dream does not make a grown ass boy tear his room apart and weep like his heart is being shredded into pieces."

He wiped his face with the back of his hand but it did not help, he couldn't stop the tears from coming. "I saw him… my father. He was calling for me and I could not reach him, he was dying and I couldn't save him. I tried to run to him but something was holding me back, something was cutting me open."

Marta's face went pale. She crossed the floor and sat on the edge of his bed and pulled him against her shoulder the way she used to do when he was small and his nightmares were only about monsters under the stairs.

"Your father is safe now," she said softly. "He is beyond pain, he died with honor on the border fighting the creatures that threaten this realm. You have to let him rest, my boy. You have to let him go now."

Varek closed his eyes and pressed his face into her shoulder like a child. His father had not died fighting creatures. His father had been butchered by the Lightbringer and the woman he had loved had held the instruments while they butchered him too but he could never tell Marta that. He could never tell anyone.

"I know," he whispered. "I am sorry I scared you. I am sorry about the room, I will fix it up later."

"You think I care about the room?" She held him tighter. "I have watched you since you were born. I carried you in my arms when your mother died. I stayed with you through the fever that nearly took you. You are all that is left of this house, and I will not let you fall apart on today of all days. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you ma'am."

"Do you want me to tell them you are sick? You do not have to go, no one would blame you."

Varek pulled back and looked at her. His face was a mess of tears but his voice was steady now. "No, I will go. Father would have wanted me to stand up and face them. I am the last Soren, I will not hide."

Marta nodded, she wiped his face with her sleeve the way she used to when he was a boy. "Then get dressed, the bells will ring soon. And Varek? Whatever happens in that colosseum, whatever beast the System gives you, you are still your father's son, nothing… I mean nothing can change that fact."

She stood up and began gathering the broken pieces of the basin into her apron. Varek sat on the edge of the bed and watched her work. His hands had stopped shaking now. The tears had dried on his face, the cold table was fading back into the dark place where his nightmares lived but he knew the truth. In two weeks, if he did nothing, that cold table would be real. Vespera would come to him with warm food and gentle words. He would eat because he trusted her and then he would wake up with straps on his wrists and a blade in his chest and the woman he loved smiling down at him while Aurelius peeled his memories away.

Not this time, this time he knew what was coming, this time he would be ready for them.

♡♡♡♡♡

The streets were full of people heading to the colosseum. The bells rang loud and sounded heavy, the air smelled like cold stone and evening smoke.

"Is that the Soren boy?" A woman in a green cloak nudged her friend. "Look at him and his dirty coat with patches everywhere."

"The bloodline died with Aldric, what do you expect?"

Varek kept his head down and walked on without minding them. He saw Vespera near the Tamer's gate standing with her noble girls. She was happy and laughing with them. Her dark hair was pinned up with silver combs, she wore a dark red gown. When she saw him, her face lit up more and she came toward him.

"Varek." She took both his hands in hers, her touch was warm and soft. "I was so worried you would not come."

"Here I am."

"You look awful, did you sleep at all?"

"I couldn't sleep much."

"Poor thing." She squeezed his fingers and tilted her head and looked at him with those kind eyes he loved staring into. "Listen to me Varek dear, whatever beast comes out of that circle today, whatever the System decides to give you, I want you to know that I will still be here, waiting and I will stand by you. You and I have been through so much together for me to leave you now, I am not that kind of woman and I can't do that to you my love."

He looked at her and all he could see was the exact kind of woman she is, the woman that was going to hand the instruments to the man who killed him and watch without a single tear or sympathy.

"Thank you," he said. "That means a lot to me."

She leaned in and whispered against his cheek. "I believe in you, Varek. No matter what happens today, I will always believe in you."

She kissed his cheek and walked back to her friends, and he stood frozen on the cobblestones while the crowd surged past.

♡♡♡♡♡

The dark hall behind the altar was full of young Tamers. Draven Valerius stood in the center with his Thunder Roc chick on his shoulder.

"Soren!" Draven spread his arms. "I was just telling everyone about your first summoning. You were seven years old and you stood in that circle so sure you would get a Storm Drake like your father."

A boy with a Flame Lizard called out, "What did he get?"

"Nothing! He got nothing and cried his eyes out until his father carried him out."

"Maybe he will cry again today," another initiate said mockingly.

"Or maybe his dead father will come back from the dead to help his deadbeat son and carry him out like he did before."

They all laughed widely at him, some pointing their fingers at him. Varek stood still and said nothing.

Draven walked up close. "What is wrong today Soren? No brave words? No speech about your father's honor?"

"I am saving my words for something that matters."

Draven's grin went stiff. "You think you are better than us?"

"I think the master is calling your name."

Draven held his stare a moment longer, then turned and walked into the circle and then he stepped into the blue light and the crowd leaned forward in their seats, he was their favorite… the golden boy everybody loved. When the old master asked him what memory he would trade, Draven smiled and tossed out something small and worthless.

"I give the memory of breaking my first toy," he said loudly enough for everyone to hear. "A wooden horse, I smashed it with a rock when I was five."

The circle blazed, the light was silver and bright. When it faded, a Thunder Roc chick stood on the stone at Draven's feet. Its feathers crackled with lightning. Its eyes were gold and fierce. It opened its beak and let out a sharp cry that echoed through the colosseum and the crowd erupted with cheers.

"A Thunder Roc! The Valerius bloodline is indeed strong!"

"Lightning affinity! He will be a great Tamer!"

Draven scooped up the chick and held it high over his head. The lightning danced along his arm and he laughed with pure joy. He then turned to look at Varek in the dark corridor and his grin was wide and sharp.

"Let us see what you get, Soren. Maybe you will get a worm or scorpion this time."

Shortly after Varek's name was called, he stepped into the blue light. The old master asked him what memory he would trade, Varek closed his eyes and gave up the sound of his father's voice teaching him to ride a horse. He felt the System take it like a hook pulling through water. One moment it was there, joyful and warm, the next it was gone and a cold hollow sat in its place.

The circle blazed and the crowd went quiet...like you can hear the sound of a pun drop, then the light faded.

A Gnarl lay on the stone, it was small, blind and black. It came with wet fur and a tiny mouth making a sound like a rusty hinge.

The colosseum as expected erupted in loud cheers and mocking laughters

"Look at it!" Draven yelled. "It is a pest!"

"A Gnarl! He got a Gnarl!"

"Varek the Pest Tamer!"

"Why not put it down! Kill it and maybe try again!"

Varek bent down and picked up the creature, It weighed almost nothing. He put it inside his coat and walked toward the exit. The laughter and the shouts followed him down the dark hall but he did not look back. He let them see a broken boy with a useless beast.

Under his coat, the Gnarl stirred against his chest and pressed its blind face against his skin. And somewhere deep in his mind, so quiet he almost missed it, a voice whispered a single word.

[Soon.]

Varek's eyes snapped open immediately.

He stood frozen in the empty alley while the word echoed through his skull. Then another voice came again, it sounded cold, and mechanical totally different from the first voice he heard.

[The System has given you a gift Varek. You have been granted the Regression Gift, you may borrow memories from the future, reach forward with your mind and see what has not yet come to pass, you can use this knowledge to change your path.]

He could not move nor believe any of it, breathing properly was even hard for him…

[But know this, every borrowed memory pulls you closer to the events you witness. The death you saw in your regression is waiting and each time you use this gift, it comes faster so choose carefully.]

The voice went silent, the Gnarl trembled against his chest, It's tiny claws pressed into his skin through the fabric of his shirt.

Varek looked down at the blind creature inside his coat and understood with cold certainty that nothing in his life would ever be the same. He had walked into the colosseum as a broken boy with a dying name and he walked out as something else entirely.

He pushed himself off the wall and started walking toward the crumbling Soren manor. The streets were quiet and silent. The bells had long stopped and somewhere behind him in the colosseum, Draven was still laughing and Vespera was still smiling her innocent smile.

Let them laugh and make jest of him all they want because they had no single idea what was coming.