From Zero to Overpowered

2 THE JOKE

The world didn't just stop; it shattered into a kaleidoscope of broken code.

When Kai crushed the [Wildcard], he expected a surge of power. He expected a sword, a shield, or maybe a bolt of lightning to strike down the monstrosity lunging at him.

Instead, he got noise.

A screeching sound, like a thousand nails scratching against a chalkboard, erupted inside his skull. The air in front of him tore open. Pixels of neon violet and gold bled into reality, swirling violently around his hand.

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[System Alert: Wildcard Activated!]

[Rolling Probability...]

[Glitch Detected. Reroll initiated.]

[Result Locked.]

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The swirling light condensed instantly into a solid object in Kai’s grip.

Kai braced himself, ready to swing his new weapon. His muscles tensed, adrenaline flooding his veins. He thrust his hand forward to meet the Scavenger Rat’s claws.

"Die!" Kai screamed.

But there was no clash of steel. There was only a dull, wooden thwack.

Kai blinked. The rat blinked.

In Kai’s hand, glowing with a faint, mocking aura, was a spoon.

Not a magical staff. Not a silver dagger.

A spoon. A wooden soup spoon.

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[Card Generated: Grandma’s Soup Spoon]

[Rarity: Trash]

[Damage: 0.5]

[Effect: Makes broth taste slightly better.]

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"You have got to be kidding me," Kai whispered, his voice cracking.

The Scavenger Rat, momentarily confused by the lack of threat, hissed. It realized its prey was holding a utensil, not a weapon. It lunged again, its jaws opening wide enough to crush Kai’s skull.

Panic, cold and sharp, pierced Kai’s chest.

"No, no, no! Change back! Change back!"

Kai swung the spoon frantically, hitting the rat on the nose. Bonk.

It did nothing. The rat didn't even flinch. The monster slammed into Kai, pinning him to the hard stone floor. Heavy, rancid breath washed over Kai’s face. Drool dripped onto his cheek.

Sharp claws dug into his shoulders.

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[HP: 8/50]

[Warning: Bleeding Effect Applied.]

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Kai struggled, kicking and thrashing, but the monster was too heavy. The rat lowered its head, aiming for his throat.

"Is this it?" Kai thought, staring at the ceiling. "I survive the fall just to die holding a spoon?"

He squeezed the handle of the spoon so hard his knuckles turned white. He poured every ounce of his fear, his anger, and his remaining will into the glitched object.

"DO SOMETHING!" he roared.

As the rat’s teeth grazed his neck, the spoon began to vibrate.

It didn't just shake; it hummed with a violent, unstable energy. The wooden texture pixelated, dissolving into static.

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[System Alert: Unstable Manifestation!]

[RNG Triggered by High Stress.]

[Rerolling...]

.

.

[CRITICAL SUCCESS!]

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The spoon vanished.

In the fraction of a second before the rat bit down, the object in Kai’s hand expanded. The air grew blistering hot. The smell of ozone and sulfur replaced the stench of the sewer.

Kai’s hand was no longer holding wood. He was gripping a handle of cold, dark iron.

From the iron handle erupted a blade of pure, condensed fire.

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[Card Swapped: Magma Greatsword (Temporary)]

[Rarity: Rare]

[Damage: 150 (Fire)]

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Kai didn't swing. He didn't have to. The blade simply materialized through the rat’s torso.

FWOOSH.

There was no scream. The heat was so intense it cauterized the wound instantly. The Scavenger Rat dissolved into ash and glowing embers before it could even finish its bite.

The force of the sudden heat blast threw Kai backward. He slid across the cave floor, coughing as smoke filled the small cavern.

The flaming sword in his hand flickered once, twice, and then shattered into motes of purple light.

Silence returned to the cave.

Kai lay there, chest heaving, staring at the pile of ash that used to be a monster. His hand was trembling uncontrollably.

A pleasant chime rang in his ears.

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[Enemy Defeated: Scavenger Rat (Lvl 3)]

[Experience Gained: +30]

[Level Up!]

[Level 1 -> Level 2]

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[Attribute Points Obtained: +3]

[New Feature Unlocked: Deck Editor]

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Kai let out a shaky laugh. It started as a chuckle and turned into a hysterical wheeze. He looked at his empty hand.

"A spoon," he muttered, wiping blood from his shoulder. "It gave me a damn spoon first."

He sat up, wincing from the pain in his ribs, and looked at the floating notification window. The prompt for the [Wildcard] was still there, hovering in the corner of his vision.

It seemed innocent now. Quiet. But Kai knew better.

"You," Kai pointed a shaking finger at the interface. "You're going to get me killed."

The interface blinked, almost as if it was winking at him.

Kai leaned back against the cold wall. He survived. But he realized one terrifying truth about his new power.

He wasn't playing a game of skill. He was playing Russian Roulette.

And the next time he pulled the trigger, he might not get a sword. He might just get a fork.