Hero From The Toilet

1. Why the Fuck Was I Summoned While Taking a Shit?!

Modern Earth — Nighttime.

Inside a small bathroom, toilet water swirled lazily while Rangga sat comfortably, staring at his phone. The world felt peaceful that night—quiet, calm, and a little smelly, but that wasn't exactly something worth worrying about right now.

Then, without warning, that peace shattered.

The air inside the bathroom began to tremble faintly. It wasn't like an earthquake shaking the ground, but more as if space itself was being pulled toward an invisible point.

The ceiling light flickered once then twice.

The water in the toilet suddenly began spinning much faster, forming an impossible whirlpool.

Rangga didn't even have time to raise his head before cracks spread across the bathroom floor, and a glowing circle appeared directly beneath his feet.

The light swallowed him instantly. There was no time to stand up. Not even enough time to pull up his pants.

There was only one brief second for Rangga to stare in confusion and think—

"...What the fuck is this?"

Then the world changed.

***

When the light faded, Rangga was no longer inside his bathroom.

He now stood in the middle of a massive circular stone chamber with a towering ceiling and burning torches lining the walls.

Beneath his feet, a gigantic magic circle still glowed with pale blue light.

Around him stood more than a dozen people dressed in white robes. Some held magic staffs, while others looked as though they had just witnessed a miracle.

One of them pointed at Rangga, his face filled with joy.

"IT WORKED!"

Several other mages immediately erupted into cheers.

"THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!"

But the celebration died almost instantly. One by one, they began noticing something strange.

Their gazes slowly drifted downward toward Rangga.

An elderly mage blinked several times before whispering in a trembling voice,

"...But why is he half-naked?"

Another mage frowned and glanced at the summoning circle.

"...And why does it smell like—"

He stopped mid-sentence.

At the far end of the chamber, an elderly man in red robes rose from a massive stone throne. A golden crown gleamed upon his head beneath the torchlight.

The King.

He stared at Rangga for a long moment before slowly letting out a sigh.

"...The gods have strange tastes."

And so, Rangga stood in the middle of the kingdom's summoning chamber, surrounded by people staring at him—some in awe, some confused, and others visibly concerned.

Meanwhile, Rangga himself was still trying to understand what the hell had just happened.

The chamber, which had been filled with celebration only moments ago, fell completely silent.

Until finally—

"FUCK! WHERE THE HELL AM I?!"

Rangga's voice thundered throughout the stone chamber. Several mages jumped in shock. One of them even dropped his staff.

Rangga hurriedly pulled up his pants while jumping away from the magic circle, then immediately pointed at the most conspicuous person in the room—the red-robed king wearing a golden crown.

"HEY! WERE YOU TRYING TO RAPE ME OR SOMETHING?!"

The entire room froze.

The knights standing along the sides of the chamber immediately tensed, while several mages exchanged pale, bewildered looks.

They clearly had absolutely no idea what language Rangga was speaking.

A young mage whispered nervously,

"...What did he say?"

The elderly mage beside him merely swallowed.

Meanwhile, the King remained standing on the stone platform with an expression that was difficult to describe.

He wasn't angry. He simply looked like a man whose brain had completely failed to process the situation unfolding before him.

Rangga, meanwhile, continued ranting while rubbing his face in frustration.

"What the fuck is this?! This shit isn't funny, asshole!"

Then he glanced downward. His expression immediately grew even more annoyed.

"Fuck! Now my shit won't come out! You scared it back inside!"

Several mages immediately panicked. One of them whispered loudly,

"...The summoning circle must have taken the target while he was—"

He stopped and another mage covered his face.

"...Oh, gods."

At the side of the chamber, a young knight tried desperately to suppress his laughter, only managing to disguise it as a violent coughing fit.

The King finally raised one hand. The room immediately fell silent again.

He stared at Rangga for several moments before speaking in a deep voice, desperately attempting to preserve what remained of his royal dignity.

"...Hero from another world."

His eyes briefly drifted toward Rangga's pants.

"...We sincerely apologize for the unfortunate timing of your summoning."

Several mages immediately lowered their heads in embarrassment.

"We summoned you because our world stands on the brink of destruction," the King continued, gesturing toward the magic circle on the floor.

"But before we discuss that..."

He paused.

"...Perhaps we should clean the summoning circle first."

The mages immediately panicked.

"CLEAN IT! QUICKLY!"

Two mages hurriedly grabbed buckets of water and began scrubbing the floor, their faces bright red with embarrassment.

Meanwhile, a knight cautiously approached Rangga. His expression was a strange mixture of respect and utter confusion.

"Uhh... Hero-sama... are you all right?"

Rangga pointed around the chamber.

"What kind of movie set is this?"

The mages exchanged confused looks once again, clearly having no idea what he meant.

But before anyone could answer, Rangga moved. He turned around and fucking ran.

"Hero—wait!"

Too late.

Rangga was already sprinting across the chamber, causing the mages' robes to flutter violently as he rushed past them.

Several were forced to jump aside to avoid being run over. A massive wooden door at the far end of the chamber stood half-open.

Beyond it stretched a long stone corridor illuminated by torches along the walls.

A guard standing outside stared dumbfounded as Rangga suddenly burst through the doorway like a lunatic escaping from a mental asylum.

"Eh—HEY!"

Rangga was already gone. His footsteps thundered through the castle corridors while chaos erupted behind him.

"AFTER HIM!"

"WAIT! DON'T HURT HIM!"

"THAT'S THE HERO!"

Armored boots slammed against the stone floor. The corridor split in several directions, but Rangga didn't even stop to think.

He immediately turned toward a stone staircase leading downward.

His feet pounded against the steps as the knights' voices grew closer behind him.

"STOP RUNNING!"

"WAIT! HERO!"

"RESTRAIN HIM—BUT DON'T HURT HIM!"

That only convinced Rangga even more that this had to be some kind of bizarre movie production.

He kept running until the staircase opened into a massive hall on the castle's lower floor.

Several servants carrying trays immediately stopped when they saw a panicked stranger sprinting past them.

"WHERE'S THE ASSHOLE PRODUCER WHO BROUGHT ME HERE?!" Rangga shouted.

One servant nearly dropped her tray. But Rangga was already racing toward a massive doorway that opened into the castle courtyard.

Bright sunlight immediately blinded him as he burst outside, and fresh air struck his face.

A vast castle courtyard stretched before him. Knights practicing swordsmanship stopped mid-swing. Horses near the stables raised their heads.

Servants turned in confusion as Rangga emerged screaming,

"WHERE'S THE ASSHOLE PRODUCER WHO BROUGHT ME HERE?!"

Several knights exchanged confused looks.

"...Who the hell is that?"

Then shouting erupted from inside the castle.

"THERE HE IS!"

The knights chasing Rangga finally burst into the courtyard.

A guard captain wearing black armor immediately shouted,

"DON'T LET HIM REACH THE GATE!"

The knights stationed around the courtyard immediately moved to block every path.

Now Rangga stood in the middle of the courtyard, surrounded by people slowly closing in around him—some confused, others cautious.

And one thing had become painfully obvious.

There were no cameras. No film crew. No producer. Only a massive stone castle.

Knights wearing real steel armor. Real swords. Real horses. And dozens of people staring at him as though he were either incredibly important or incredibly dangerous.

Rangga slowly looked around.

Stone walls. Steel armor. Swords. Horses. No cables. No cameras.

"...Oh, fuck."

He blinked.

"This shit is actually real, isn't it?"

Several servants standing at the edge of the courtyard whispered among themselves.

"Is that him...?"

"The summoned hero?"

"...He doesn't seem mentally stable."

Rangga let out a small laugh and rubbed his face

"I'm so fucking fired if I miss work because of this..."

He sighed.

"My boss is never gonna believe me if I tell him I took a day off because I got summoned to another world."

On the other side of the courtyard, the guard captain gestured for the knights not to approach too aggressively.

They formed a loose semicircle around Rangga without attacking. Then the mages finally emerged from the castle, panting heavily.

Behind them came the King. His golden crown gleamed beneath the sunlight. He stared at Rangga for several seconds before speaking.

"Calm yourself."

The knights immediately stopped and the King descended several steps.

"We have no intention of harming you. We truly did summon you from another world."

The mages stood behind him, their faces filled with hope.

"You are the hero chosen by the summoning ritual," the King continued, his voice heavy enough to silence the entire courtyard.

"And our world stands on the brink of destruction."

A gentle breeze swept across the courtyard, causing the banners atop the castle walls to flutter.

Every eye turned toward Rangga. He stood completely still for several seconds, trying to process everything he had just heard.

Then he sighed.

"...Fuck."

He looked up at the sky above the castle.

"...Now my shit's too scared to come out."