Hijacking the Three Kingdoms with My System

Chapter 3: An Alien Scent in the Three Kingdoms

CLANG!

The loud, ear-splitting sound of metal clashing echoed in the air. A strong gust of wind hit Joshua's face, but the expected pain didn't come.

He slowly opened one eye.

A pair of twin swords easily held back the soldier's rusty blade. No, not just holding back. The swords completely locked the soldier's movement, making the man tremble under the strain.

"Brother Soldier," a voice spoke. It was soft, calm, but carried a weight of authority that made the hairs on his neck stand up. "This young man is unarmed. He is eating. Killing starving civilians for a cup of wine... is that a fitting action for a protector of the Han Dynasty?"

Joshua turned to the side.

Standing there was a man with a very simple yet charismatic appearance. He was about 175 cm tall. His skin was fair. Most striking were his slightly large and long ears a very specific physical trait in history books and his long arms that nearly reached his knees. He wore a worn robe and carried a bundle of woven straw mats on his back.

The patrol soldier tried to pull his sword back, but couldn't. "You... who are you to interfere with military affairs?!"

"Military affairs are about protecting the people, not oppressing them," the man replied calmly, then yanked his hand. The soldier was thrown back three steps, falling onto the mud.

"BASTARD! GET HIM!" the soldier yelled at his two friends.

"HOOO! Who wants to get beaten up?!"

A second voice sounded like thunder splitting the sky. From behind the hut emerged a giant figure with jet-black skin. His large, round eyes glared fiercely, his beard stiff like steel wire. He carried a nearly three-meter-long serpent spear.

"You little rats, dare to bother my Elder Brother?!" the giant roared. His voice was so loud that Joshua felt his eardrums ringing.

Beside him appeared a third figure, no less intimidating. This man was tall and large, his face flushed red like a ripe date. His long, beautiful beard flowed down to his chest. His eyes were narrow, sharp, and cold like a phoenix's eyes. In his hands, he gripped a massive Guandao (Green Dragon Crescent Blade) as if it were as light as a twig.

The patrol soldiers paled. Their faces, which had been fierce moments ago, now looked like scared chickens. The murderous aura emanating from the two giants behind the man was so thick, it felt as if the air around them had turned to ice.

"T-that's... Guan Yu and Zhang Fei..." one of the soldiers hissed, his voice trembling. "They're the crazy guys who beat up the village chief last week!"

"Run!"

Without warning, the three soldiers ran away in a panic, leaving their sandals and dignity in the mud.

Silence fell for a moment.

The man who arrived first sheathed his twin swords with an elegant *clack*, then turned to look at Joshua. His smile was friendly, fatherly, but his eyes... those eyes were sharp. The eyes of a politician who could read the contents of your wallet with a single glance.

"You are not hurt, Young Man?" he asked.

Joshua was still frozen. His history major brain worked hard to connect the dots. Long ears. Beautiful beard. Voice of thunder. Twin swords.

“Insane. It's really them.”

“Liu Bei (The Poor Charismatic).”

“Guan Yu (The Arrogant God of War).”

“Zhang Fei (The Brutal Drunkard).”

The three main figures from history he had studied his entire life were now standing before him in 4K their scent real, their sweat real.

"Hey! Are you mute?!" Zhang Fei approached, his scary face just inches from Joshua's. He sniffed the air, his nostrils flaring. "What is that thing you're holding? It smells so good. Not like the stale porridge we ate this morning, Brother!"

Joshua realized he was still holding the packet of French fries. Suddenly, a crazy idea popped into his head. An idea driven by the Culinary Strategy System and the survival instinct of a Jakarta student.

He couldn't appear weak. In this era, weak people became slaves or corpses. He had to look... useful.

Joshua stood up slowly. He brushed the dust off his backside, then ate another fry in slow motion, staring into Liu Bei's eyes without blinking.

"My name is Jo Fan," he replied. He deliberately used his Chinese pseudonym to sound more local. "And no, I am not hurt. Thanks to the timely arrival of Master Liu Bei, who is 'said' to be a descendant of the Emperor's Uncle."

Guan Yu's eyes narrowed. "You know who my brother is? Even though we are just mat and bean sellers in the market."

"The world is small for those who have eyes, General Guan," Jo Fan countered, trying to keep his voice from cracking. His heart was pounding, and internally he was praying, “Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me.”

"I am a traveler... correction, I am a 'Strategist' who has lost his way," Jo Fan continued, turning to look at Zhang Fei, who was still drooling over the fries. "But it seems fate has a strange sense of humor, bringing me to you."

"A Strategist?" Zhang Fei laughed, his voice booming, scaring the birds away again. "A skinny kid like you? You can't even lift my spear! What kind of strategist uses only a paper bag as a weapon?"

Jo Fan smiled wryly the cynical smile he usually wore when slaughtering debate opponents in F******k comment sections.

"Strategy isn't about muscle, Master Zhang. Strategy is about filling the stomach before cleaving the neck," Jo Fan offered the packet of fries toward Zhang Fei. "These are called 'Fried Gold Bars.' Food from my homeland in the... err, from a distant western hemisphere. Try them. If they are poison, I give you permission to behead me right now."

Zhang Fei fell silent. He looked at the packet, then at his brother. Liu Bei nodded slowly, giving silent permission.

Roughly, Zhang Fei's giant hand snatched the small packet. He took one fry, examined it suspiciously, then tossed it into his mouth.

Crunch.

Zhang Fei's face froze.

His round eyes widened to their maximum. The salty taste of pure sea salt (not the bitter rock salt of that era) and the savory flavor of the system-processed palm oil exploded in his mouth. To the ancient palate accustomed to bland food, this was like a fireworks display on New Year's Eve.

"DELICIOUS!" Zhang Fei shouted, his voice filled with pure joy. "It's... Crispy! Salty! Hot! A little spicy! Brother, this isn't poison! This is the food of the Gods from the distant western hemisphere!"

He immediately dumped the rest of the fries into his mouth greedily, chewing them with loud crunching sounds.

[System Warning: Host Stamina Decreased by 10% due to 'Sharing the Bounty'. Side Effect: Mild Dizziness.]

Joshua's head throbbed painfully for a moment, like a sudden migraine. "Damn it, so every time I feed someone, my energy gets drained? Leech System!"

"Third Brother! Mind your manners!" Liu Bei scolded, though his eyes also glanced at the empty packet with a hint of curiosity. He then looked at Jo Fan with a new perspective. More respectful, more interested.

"Master Jo Fan," Liu Bei said, his tone turning formal. He cupped his hands in a respectful salute. "Forgive my brother's rudeness. In these chaotic times, it is difficult to find someone with unique abilities like yours. You say you know who we are... then, what is your true purpose?"

Jo Fan swallowed, suppressing the dizziness in his head. He put on a mysterious expression. He pointed toward the sky.