I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch41 - Judgement

"Bah, whatever. It shouldn't be enough for anyone to be wary of us, yeah? No point worrying about it, I guess... Ugh, I really am creeped out knowing she was watching me like that though... Oh, er, thanks for cleaning up!" As Lucas looks at the TV one last time, he acknowledges Jonathan before running off to grab some towels and a change of clothes for himself. Once he has all of his selections, he goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

A slightly stunned Jonathan stands in place for a moment, staring at the recently shut bathroom door.

[I'd say that while it isn't a good thing to get this kind of publicity right away, it shouldn't be too much of a threat. We're going to have to work on some villain-appropriate PR moves sooner than initially planned though.]

'Eh... Yeah, I guess. I'm sure you'll figure it out.'

[...Thanks for your confidence, but you should at least try to think about it too.]

'Yeah, yeah.'

As Lucas protects the poor innocent pupper from the tyranny of the detested vacuum, he figures he might as well give him another round of cleaning to get rid of all the concrete dust he got on him.

As Lucas is about to ask the doggo if he wants another bath or just a shower, there's the sound of the vacuum starting up and the poor dog jumps in the bathtub and hides behind the shower curtain. Lucas struggles not to laugh at his frightened antics.

After only a few seconds, however, the noises from the living room cut off. There's the faint muffled sound of Jonathan talking to himself for a moment and then a knock on the bathroom door.

"Um, Lucas? Is it okay if, um, if I borrow your keys for a minute? Your vacuum sucks. No, uh, it doesn't suck, th-that's the problem." As Jonathan manages to simultaneously be as awkward as ever yet assertive about how useless the vacuum is, Lucas just laughs in response.

After laughing a few times, there's another timid knock at the door. Before Jonathan can work up the courage to ask for permission again, Lucas finally gives him a real answer.

"Yeah, yeah. Go and borrow some clothes out of my dresser, it's fine. Just don't wander off too long. Oh, get one that's good for pet hair while you're at it." Upon receiving Lucas's consent, there are the clear sounds of Jonathan walking off and going into the bedroom, and then of the dresser drawers being opened and rummaged through a bit.

Aware that the danger of ferocious mechanical suction has temporarily passed, the dog comes out of the corner of the tub he was trying to hide in. He stands with his front paws on the edge of the tub, his tail now happily wagging behind him. This cute display is too much, and Lucas ends up laughing at him.

"Seriously, I don't like them either but was there really a need to run and hide?" While Lucas asks this, he reaches up and wipes away a tear that formed at the corner of his eye from laughing too hard. The insulted pup whines briefly and then barks at him, once. This only makes Lucas laugh even more.

After a few minutes there are some metallic noises from Jonathan grabbing the keys off the coffee table, unlocking the front door, opening and closing it, and then finally re-locking it from the outside.

'I'd ask you to keep an eye out for him, but I imagine we can leave that to 11. Can you keep in touch with 11 though, just in case something happens?'

[Oh? So you remembered you decided to take care of Jonathan too?]

'Hey! He's a big boy, he can handle himself. But dis cute little pupper needs much more attention...'

[...It seems you're only capable of spoiling one target at a time. If I could play back some recordings of some of the things you've said and done earlier this very day... Whatever, yes, I'll keep in touch with 011.]

Some time later, the pup has been washed once again, their new clothes have been run through the dryer, Lucas has showered and changed into red plaid pajamas, and Jonathan has returned with a pet-hair-approved vacuum.

Unfortunately for the dog, this vacuum has been unpacked and plugged in just as he was about to fall asleep on the sofa.

As the unholy scourge upon pup-kind has begun its conquest upon an embarrassingly soiled carpet, the poor sleepy pupper leaps nearly a full foot straight up in the air off of the sofa he just finished getting comfy on.

If he could speak, he'd certainly ask how in the world could Jonathan possibly decide that it is currently a good time to do such a terrible thing. It's inexcusable, really.

With his flight response fully triggered, the mutt charges through the open door to Lucas's bedroom.

Lucas had been lying in bed, idly looking up lists of various established villain organizations, looking for name inspirations. And low-key getting away from the upcoming noisy vacuum invasion.

Noticing the sudden movement, Lucas rolls over and reaches down, beckoning the dog over to be lifted up. He successfully intercepts the pup before he crawled under the bed, which would have definitely necessitated yet another bath.

Once up on top of the soft expanse, the doggo dives headfirst under the blankets, tunneling into them until only the scrawny end of his tail and spindly rear legs are sticking out from the covers.

Giving another chuckle, Lucas gently pats the lump of blankets in roughly the location of the center of the doggo's back, trying to soothe him a bit.

"It's all right buddy, you're safe. The noise really must be awful to your ears, huh?" As Lucas says this in a soft, low voice, there is a single, muffled, bark from under the pile of fabric.

For the entire twenty minutes that Jonathan spends vacuuming the living room, the slightly trembling dog doesn't move from his blanket burrow.

Jonathan lets out a clear, satisfied sigh in the living room. Shortly after, there is a sharp click, and the sound of the power cord quickly retracting. Hearing this series of events, Lucas pats the pup pile twice.

"You can come out now, he's done." After Lucas says this, the dog freezes for a moment and then starts slowly wiggling his way backwards.

There are a few more sounds from the vacuum cleaner being messed with, followed by a sharp gasp. After one more click, there is a series of rapid footsteps charging into Lucas's room.

Jonathan has a very clearly angry and accusatory expression on his face as he holds up the alarmingly full clear plastic dirt bin from the vacuum.

"Oh, damn. That thing works pretty well, huh?" Lucas's extremely casual tone doesn't calm Jonathan down in the least bit.

"How long has it been since you've last cleaned!?" Jonathan losing his nervous stutter when he's mad amuses Lucas quite a bit.

"Eh, I don't remember. I just do it when it seems like it needs it." Lucas's continued casual tone just maddens Jonathan even further.

'Hah, looks like I don't have to worry about cleaning ever again as long as he's around, nice.'

[...Assuming he doesn't make you do it, and to his standards at that. Just how long HAS it been?]

'Uh… I've only done some spot cleaning since I came here a month ago? No idea when the last time the previous dude did, but whatever, everything seemed fine enough.'

[...You must have a high tolerance against becoming ill.]

'I'm pretty sure you just called me a slob?'

[I'll say it now. You're a slob. You're going to be deep cleaning this whole apartment over the next few days, don't just leave it all to Jonathan. I'll even find a way to try and limit the minor GDV tasks that trigger while you're at it.]

'Nooo! I'd rather go grind quests!'

As Jonathan notices the sinking expression of despair on Lucas's face, his own expression lightens. He's correctly assumed that 427 was scolding him, and insisting he does something about it.

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Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 5.77 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 4

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.7 (+.01 +.01 +.1 +.01 +.01 = +.14 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, still fuming about how filthy the carpet was: It's! A! Different! Color! I'm getting a steam cleaner tomorrow!

Lucas, incredibly distressed: Nonono, we need to make our villain organization, right!? Just hire a professional to do the floors!

A certain doggo that was halfway out of his hiding place under the blankets: *muffled* Bark bark!

427 continues judging Lucas's lifestyle choices.

Author, snickering: There's no getting out of it Lucas, it's your own fault.

Mr. Quacks, also judging Lucas's lifestyle choices: Quack...