2026-09-14 13:11:41The forest fell silent once more, save for the whisper of the wind rustling through the canopy, as if no chaos had torn through the clearing moments before.
Litchi stood frozen in his spot, his gaze locked onto the blue translucent panel hovering before him. DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Quest Complete Goblin Defeated : 20/20 Evaluation Rank : A Reward Granted Mystery Reward Box ×1 ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi broke into a wide grin. "Nice. Let's just hope it's not another piece of kitchenware this time." A glowing box slowly materialized before him. It was roughly the size of a lunchbox, its surface pulsed with intricate gold rune patterns. Litchi rubbed his palms together. "Alright! Let's see what's inside! If I pull another spoon... I am officially giving up on life." Slowly, he lifted the lid. Nothing bizarre happened. No explosions, no blinding flashes of light. Just a single black card edged in gold drifting upward out of the box, its surface shifting with strange, morphing symbols. Litchi rubbed his chin, tilting his head. "A card? Don't tell me this is a restaurant VIP membership." Before he could inspect it any closer... Whoosh! The card shattered into thousands of glowing light particles. "Eh? Wait! Hang on! I didn't even get to read it!" The brilliant light instantly sank straight into his chest. A profound wave of warmth washed over Litchi's body. It felt remarkably comforting, as though something brand new had just taken root deep inside his soul. DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Passive Skill Acquired [Infinite Growth] Lv.1 Effect Every monster defeated grants EXP to the Host. EXP scales with the defeated monster's level. Active Skills gain proficiency whenever the Host defeats monsters. Passive Skills also continue to evolve. No upper limit has been detected. ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi read the description over and over, slowly letting the words sink in. Unconsciously, his eyes widened into circles. "So... Every single monster I defeat gives me EXP?" [Correct.] "And if I get active skills later... those skills level up too?" [Correct.] Litchi clenched both fists. "Oh, finally! Now that is what I call a reward! System, you're actually kind of awesome." The panel remained stubbornly mute, as if communicating with Litchi was a chore it deeply resented. Litchi brought up his status panel. ━━━━━━━━━━━━ STATUS Name : Litchi Title : None Age : 25 Race : Human Rank : F Level : 1 Class : Beginner Fighter Profession : Chef Talent : Common Skill : [Infinite Growth] Lv.1 ━━━━━━━━━━━━ His smile slowly vanished. "......." He re-read the lines. "Profession..." "...Chef?" Litchi rubbed his eyes hard. The text refused to change. "Chef?" "CHEF?!" He pointed an accusing finger at the screen. "System." [Yes.] "Since when did I become a Chef?" [Ever since the Host acquired the Wooden Spoon.] "......." Litchi fell into a deep, heavy silence. "Wait!" "Just because I got a spoon?" [Correct.] "But I'm not a chef! I literally used to mess up instant noodles!" The System stayed coldly silent. Litchi began pacing back and forth. "Think logically! What is a chef even good for in a place like this?" "Am I supposed to cook monsters?" "Are there going to be dungeon diners?" "If I roast a goblin, do I get bonus EXP?" "Do chefs even get combat skills?" "Can a chef rank up?" "If I find a fork later, do I promote to Master Chef?!" The panel didn't even twitch. Meanwhile, Litchi's curiosity was burning a hole in his brain. "Hey." "Answer me!" "At least throw me a hint." "Stop giving me the silent treatment." DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Warning Host talks too much. ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi frowned. "Huh? I barely said anything..." DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Punishment Activated Voice Sealed Duration : 1 Hour ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi opened his mouth to retort. "I—" "Mmmhh?" He stood there, completely struck dumb. Refusing to surrender, he tried again. "Mmmhh!" Still not a single sound came out. "Mmmhh!!" His hands instinctively flew to his throat. There was no physical pain, but his voice had been utterly erased from existence. A few seconds later, the System finally deigned to reply. [Host is excessively chatty.] "Mmmmhhh!!" Litchi jammed a finger at the panel over and over, his face flushed with deep indignation. The System added one final, chilling remark. [Please enjoy one hour of uninterrupted silence.] "Mmmmmhhhhhh!!" Inside his head, Litchi was swearing a blue streak. You lunatic system... If I ever become the strongest being alive... This blue panel is going to be the first thing I tear apart. [Threat logged.] Litchi froze stiff. "......." "Did it... did it just read my mind?" The System went dead silent once more. That absolute quiet felt infinitely more terrifying than any response. Before Litchi could even begin to process his panic... DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ New Quest Find the Dungeon Boss Reward : ??? ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi stared at the text for a long, awkward moment. "Mmmhh?" "Just finding it?" "Not even fighting it?" "What kind of main quest is this?" Since he couldn't speak aloud, he could only shrug helplessly. "Mmhh..." "Whatever." "Let's just go look for it first." He turned and began trudging deeper into the thickening underbrush of the forest. Moments later... BOOOM!! A ferocious explosion rocked the ground beneath his feet, instantly followed by the screech of clashing metal. Clang! Clang! "Hold the line!" "Don't give ground!" Human shouts echoed from up ahead. Litchi quickened his pace, slipping quietly behind a massive boulder before peering out with cautious eyes. Not far away, the four Awakeners he had spotted earlier were locked in a desperate, bleeding struggle against a colossal monster. The bulky man was gasping for air, white-knuckling his massive greatsword. The green-robed woman looked deathly pale from over-exhaustion of her mana reserves. The blonde archer was down to his final handful of arrows. And the elderly spearmaster was desperately holding the frontline alone. Litchi locked eyes with the towering beast. A translucent info panel instantly snapped into view. ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Dungeon Boss Status : Injured ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Before Litchi could even form a thought... DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Quest Complete Find the Dungeon Boss ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi blinked rapidly. "Mmmhh?" "Huh?" "Seriously?" "Just finding it, my main quest is done?" Before he could wrap his head around the absurdity of the System, a soft, irritating buzzing noise hummed right beside his ear. Bzzzz... A tiny housefly landed squarely on the tip of his nose. Litchi crossed his eyes, glaring at it. "Mmmhh...?" He tried blowing a gust of air. "Hmmmfff..." The fly merely shifted an inch, then lazily took off, executing a victory loop around his head. Bzzzz... Irritation flared in his chest. "Out of all the creatures in this dungeon..." "Why is the most annoying one a fly?" In the distance, the roar of magic and steel reverberated through the trees. Green shockwaves of light illuminated the forest canopy. Litchi peeked out from behind his boulder. The Awakener squad was on its last legs. The heavy swordsman dropped to one knee, the green-robed woman bit her bleeding lip, and the blonde archer lowered his bow completely. "We... we've got nothing left." The old spearmaster let out a ragged, weary sigh. "If anyone gets an opening... run!" The archer shook his head slowly. "It's too late for that." The Dungeon Boss reared back, letting loose a deafening roar that shook the entire clearing, pressing down on the air with suffocating gravity. Yet... mere meters away, hidden safely behind a mossy rock, Litchi was locked in a bitter war of attrition with a housefly. "Mmmhh!" Swish! Missed. "Mmmhhh!" Swish! Still missed. The fly buzzed even closer, practically moonwalking in front of his face. Litchi's temple throbbed with a visible vein. "Alright..." "Now this is a matter of personal pride!" He drew a sharp breath. Raised his wooden spoon a little higher. Aimed with deadly, solemn precision. And brought it down with everything he had. "MMMMHHH!!" Unfortunately, his palm was slick with nervous sweat. Right at the apex of his swing, the wooden spoon slipped clean out of his grip. "Eh?!" Litchi gasped, his eyes flying wide as he watched his weapon launch itself skyward. The spoon cartwheeled into the air, tracing a hilariously erratic trajectory. Everyone in the clearing instinctively stopped to track its bizarre flight path. "Is that..." "...a spoon?" Before anyone could even blink... THWOCK! A crisp, hollow impact echoed through the clearing. The Dungeon Boss froze mid-roar, its massive body wobbling unsteadily on its legs. In the span of a single heartbeat, the terrifying beast collapsed face-first onto the dirt. A cloud of dust billowed across the arena, swallowing the clearing in absolute silence. Litchi stood paralyzed, blinking innocently. He looked entirely baffled by his own accident. ".....??" "Mmmhh? (Eh? I was just trying to swat a fly.. Why did the Dungeon Boss fall over?)" A few seconds later... DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Quest Complete Find the Dungeon Boss Reward : EXP +100 Hidden Quest Completed First Dungeon Boss Kill Reward EXP +1,500 Dungeon Boss Treasure Chest ×1 F-Rank Monster Core ×1 [Infinite Growth] Activated Total EXP Obtained : 1,600 LEVEL UP! Level 1 => Level 2 LEVEL UP! Level 2 => Level 3 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A burst of white light enveloped Litchi's body. His lingering exhaustion vanished in an instant. His breathing steadied, and his limbs felt lighter, surging with twice the vitality he'd had moments before. Litchi pulled up his status screen. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ STATUS Name : Litchi Title : None Age : 25 Race : Human Rank : F Level : 3 Class : Beginner Fighter Profession : Chef Talent : Common Skill [Infinite Growth] Lv.1 Progress : 42% ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi blinked in surprise. "Huh?" "I leveled up twice..." "And Infinite Growth is still Level 1?" A small system sub-note popped up. Requirement for Skill Lv.2 has not been fulfilled. Litchi nodded thoughtfully. "Ah, so skills have their own progression tracking." "Fair enough, I suppose." He dismissed the window—only to realize that four pairs of shell-shocked eyes were staring directly at him. The bulky swordsman wiped a hand across his dirt-stained face. "...Did I hallucinate that?" The green-robed woman slowly shook her head. "No." "I saw it too." The blonde archer pointed a trembling finger at the wooden spoon lying innocently beside the fallen boss's head. "Don't tell me..." "...The Dungeon Boss got taken out by a spoon?" The old spearmaster let out a long, wheezing breath. "I have no earthly idea what just happened." "All I know is..." "...we're somehow still breathing." Every pair of eyes converged entirely on Litchi. As for Litchi... he could only offer a deeply awkward, apologetic smile. "Mmmhh..." "If I could talk right now..." "I'd honestly love to know how that happened myself." At that exact moment... Bzzzz... The tiny housefly drifted past his face one last time, humming a cheerful little tune. Litchi's temple twitched violently. You little... This entire disaster is 100% your fault! The fly executed one final smug circle, taunting him before darting away into the safety of the foliage. Litchi stood there, shaking a clenched fist at the empty air. Just you wait... The second this voice ban is lifted... You're going to be the very first monster on my hunting list.
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Chapter 5 : Father is Calling
The forest fell back into a deep, heavy hush. The roar of the Dungeon Boss that had shaken the entire area moments ago had completely vanished, replaced by the soft whisper of the wind rustling through the canopy. Four Awakeners still stood frozen in place. Their chests heaved as they gasped for breath. Their bodies were covered in jagged wounds, their clothes torn to shreds, while the weapons they clutched in their grips were so heavy they nearly slipped from their numbed fingers. Yet, that wasn't what had them completely paralyzed. Their burning gazes were locked entirely on a single young man standing not far from the lifeless corpse of the Dungeon Boss. That young man was none other than Litchi. While the four Awakeners were still struggling to process the sheer absurdity of what had just transpired, Litchi was busy staring intently at two objects that had materialized right before his eyes. A massive, ornate treasure chest and a crimson crystal the size of a fist that pulsed w
Chapter 4 : Boss Slayer
The forest fell silent once more, save for the whisper of the wind rustling through the canopy, as if no chaos had torn through the clearing moments before. Litchi stood frozen in his spot, his gaze locked onto the blue translucent panel hovering before him. DING! ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Quest Complete Goblin Defeated : 20/20 Evaluation Rank : A Reward Granted Mystery Reward Box ×1 ━━━━━━━━━━━━ Litchi broke into a wide grin. "Nice. Let's just hope it's not another piece of kitchenware this time." A glowing box slowly materialized before him. It was roughly the size of a lunchbox, its surface pulsed with intricate gold rune patterns. Litchi rubbed his palms together. "Alright! Let's see what's inside! If I pull another spoon... I am officially giving up on life." Slowly, he lifted the lid. Nothing bizarre happened. No explosions, no blinding flashes of light. Just a single black card edged in gold drifting upward out of the box, its surface shifting with strange, morphing symbols. L
Chapter 3 : A Wooden Spoon Beats A Sword
Ten pairs of red eyes stared straight at him. They didn't blink once, nor did they move an inch from their spots. Each of them gripped an iron sword that reflected the morning sunlight. Litchi stood frozen, surveying the ten goblins. A gentle breeze swept past, rustling the vast expanse of grass stretching between the trees. The scenery was lovely. If not for the ten goblins looking eager to make Litchi their breakfast menu. Litchi stared back at them. A few seconds later, he looked down at the object in his right hand. A simple wooden spoon—the very utensil that had somehow seen him through defeating a few goblins earlier. "........." Litchi let out a long sigh. "System! Show yourself!" The blue panel materialized. [Yes?] "You see them now, right?" [Yes.] "Look at them! Every single one of those guys has a sword!" [Yes.] "And I only brought a spoon." [Yes.] "Do you think this is fair?" The panel fell silent for a few seconds. Litchi started to harbor a sliver of hope
Chapter 2: The Ultimate Weapon, A Wooden Spoon?
Litchi stared at the wooden spoon in his hand. His gaze was sharp, as if he were studying it like a priceless artifact. He flipped it over, then flipped it again. Front and back. He even tapped the handle against his own head. Tap! Tap! Tap! "............" "No matter how I look at it, this is definitely just a spoon." Litchi let out a long sigh. "System." The blue panel appeared silently. "Yeah?" "Please explain." "I risked my life." "So why is the reward..." Litchi held the wooden spoon high up in the air. "...this wooden spoon?!" Silence. It was as if the system was deep in thought. A few seconds later, text finally popped up. [That is the reward item given to you.] Litchi snapped. "I know that much!" "My question is..." "WHY IS THE REWARD A SPOON?!" "Why? Why? Why?" The panel flickered. [Because the Host received an F-rank evaluation.] Litchi was a mix of confused and furious. "Evaluation? What the heck is that?" "I didn't even know
Chapter 1: I Died Because of Body Lotion
"I can explain."The words slipped past his lips faster than his brain could process them.A man of around forty named Joshua stood rigid beside a king-size bed, clad in nothing more than a white towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist. He forced an awkward smile onto his face, acutely aware that his chances of surviving this situation were slimmer than winning the lottery and a luxury house combined.Standing at the threshold of the five-star hotel room, a woman stared without saying a single word. Her gaze was terrifyingly calm. That chilling composure sent a sharp shiver straight down the man's spine.He knew her better than anyone else. Once his wife stopped yelling, it meant she had bypassed mere emotional anger and entered a far more harrowing phase."You said..." Her voice finally cut through the silence. "...you were on a business trip."The man trembled violently."Y-Yes, I really am on a business trip, sweetheart...""What kind of business trip? Huh?""Uh.... well..." He
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