Terms And conditions Apply : Invoicing The Apocalypse

Bloody Investment Contracts

Gravity seemed to vanish, replaced by a stomach-churning nausea as Freza and Qoriski’s bodies hurtled through a digital void. The total darkness lasted only a few seconds before the piercing glare of overly bright fluorescent lights stabbed at their eyes.

Thud!

"Ouch! Dammit, I feel like my waist is about to snap!" Qoriski groaned while trying to push himself up from the cold marble floor. "Where are we now, Mas? Why does it smell like a meeting room with the AC turned up too high?"

Freza stood up slowly, smoothing out his crumpled shirt. He scanned his surroundings. They were no longer on the ruined streets of Sudirman, but in a vast, windowless office with a massive executive desk positioned in the center.

"Hold on, Qor. Don't move too much. We’re in an asset transition phase," Freza whispered softly.

"Transition, my foot! We just fell from the sky, almost got eaten by a dragon, and now we’re suddenly in a luxury office? This is a kidnapping, Mas!"

"It’s not a kidnapping, Qoriski. It’s called a forced summons by the curator," a smooth baritone voice replied.

The man in the pristine white suit they had seen earlier in the sky was now sitting casually behind the executive desk. He was sipping coffee from an expensive porcelain cup. On his desk, a stack of documents as thick as a pillow floated mid-air on its own.

"Sit down. Freza, right? And... oh, this noisy little assistant, Qoriski," the man said with a thin smile.

"Little assistant?! Hey, Mr. White-suit! I’m a Senior Customer Support agent! If you calculate my level, it’s high enough to get you a formal warning letter!" Qoriski shouted, raising his gavel, which now looked dull.

"Qor, quiet. Let me handle the talking," Freza interrupted firmly. He stepped forward and sat in the chair in front of the man's desk without being invited. "So, you’re the one called The Curator? Earth’s new buyer?"

"Buyer? Oh, no, no. I am merely a middleman. Earth is far too expensive for me to purchase personally. Let’s just say my employer recently won the auction for the distressed asset you caused in the Jakarta server."

"Employer? Who? Which capitalist god is trying to mess with our planet now?" Freza asked, secretly activating his Balance Sheet Audit skill.

"Let’s just call them... the Andromeda Galaxy Consortium. They saw incredible profit potential in the way you bankrupted the old system. You are very talented, Freza. Conducting a forced audit in the middle of an apocalypse tutorial? That was genius," The Curator said, setting his cup down with a soft clink.

"Don't flatter me if you’re just going to offer a trashy contract. Where are the documents? I want to read the purchase clauses," Freza demanded coldly.

The Curator flicked his finger. A holographic scroll of blood-red documents slid in front of Freza. "This is the Earth Reconstruction Investment Contract. It states that all of humanity will be categorized as 'Bonded Labor Assets.' In exchange for your planet’s safety, you must pay a Mana dividend of ninety percent from every monster hunt for the next thousand years."

"What?! Ninety percent?!" Qoriski jumped in shock, his gavel hitting the floor. "That’s not an investment, that’s new-age slavery, you idiot! What are we supposed to eat? The remaining ten percent for billions of people? You want us to eat rocks?!"

"Listen to my assistant. Ten percent isn't even enough for basic human operational costs like breathing, especially if the air is still toxic," Freza added, quickly scanning the document.

"But at least you aren't being deleted from the database, right? That is the best offer on the market right now. Your server has already been declared in default. Without a capital injection from my employer, Earth would be reformatted tomorrow morning," The Curator replied in a tone that feigned deep concern.

Freza laughed cynically. His eyes moved rapidly, reading line after line of fine print in the hologram. "Wait, wait. There’s an interesting point on page eight hundred and twelve, sub-section 'Asset Damage Compensation.' It says here that the buyer is not responsible for infrastructure damage that occurred before the transaction was finalized. Is that correct?"

"Of course. We are only buying the remaining assets," The Curator answered casually.

"Okay. But in the next point, your employer claims ownership of all 'Magical Equipment and Skills' owned by human Hunters as part of the initial capital. This is a contradiction, Mr. Curator."

"How is it a contradiction, Mas?" Qoriski asked, confused.

"Look, Qor. He says he doesn't want responsibility for infrastructure damage, but he wants to seize our 'Skills' as assets. Yet, under the basic laws of the old System, a Skill is attached to the soul, and the human soul is categorized as 'Biological Infrastructure.' If they don't want responsibility for the infrastructure, then they have no legal right to seize our Skills. That’s called intellectual asset theft of a minor!"

The Curator frowned slightly. His smile began to fade. "That is merely a technicality of terminology, Freza. Don't be so rigid."

"A CONTRACT MUST BE RIGID!" Freza barked, his voice booming in the silent room. "You think you can play me for a fool with the term 'Investment'? This is a galactic-scale Predatory Lending scheme! You intentionally bankrupted Earth through Malphas so your employer could buy it at a discount, and then you squeeze our labor forever!"

"Wow, that’s messed up! So Malphas was just a pawn to make us poor, Mas?!" Qoriski grew furious, his aura turning a reddish-gold. "I’ll smash your head in, Curator!"

"Easy, Qoriski. Don't get violent yet. We’re still at the negotiating table," Freza raised his hand, then looked back at The Curator. "How about this. I have a counter-offer. What if I file a Class-Action lawsuit on behalf of all Earth's inhabitants against your Consortium in the Galactic Arbitration Court?"

"Arbitration? You would need millions of Mana just to open a single court session, Freza. Do you have the money?" The Curator chuckled dismissively.

"I don't have the money. But I have this," Freza pulled out a small black crystal from his shirt pocket the remains of the code from the black dragon he had seized earlier. "This is an illegal log recording of when Malphas tried to kill me in the mediation zone. You know the penalty if management attempts to murder a system-appointed auditor, don't you?"

The Curator’s face instantly turned pale. "Where did you get that? Didn't the paper giant destroy it?"

"Did you forget? Qoriski is Customer Support. He has an automatic Cloud Backup function in his central nervous system. All the evidence of your crimes is neatly stored in my assistant’s slow-loading brain," Freza patted Qoriski’s shoulder proudly.

"Hey! My brain isn't slow! It just takes a while to load!" Qoriski protested, though he kept a fierce gaze fixed on The Curator.

"If this evidence reaches your employer's shareholders, they’ll find out that you two colluded to illegally drive down asset prices. That’s called corporate embezzlement. Do you want to be fired and thrown into a black hole, or are we going to renegotiate?" Freza asked with a triumphant smirk.

The Curator remained silent for a long time. He massaged his temples, looking extremely stressed. "You truly are a dangerous man, Freza. Fine, what do you want?"

"Simple. One: delete that ninety percent dividend point. Change it to five percent as a security service f*e. Two: return Earth’s infrastructure sovereignty entirely to humanity. Three: I want low-level Administrator access for myself and Qoriski so we can oversee the reconstruction without interference from pests like Malphas again."

"Those three points are too heavy! My employer will never agree!" The Curator screamed.

"If they don't agree, then fine. Qor, hit the 'Send' button in your brain. Let’s make the video of their collusion go viral across every server in the multiverse right now!"

"Ready, Boss! My finger is on standby on the mental enter key!" Qoriski acted as if he were pressing something against his temple.

"Wait! Don't!" The Curator stood up in a panic. "Okay, okay! I will present this offer to the Consortium. But in exchange, you must help us eliminate the 'pests' on other servers. We need an auditor like you to perform asset liquidations in unproductive dimensions."

"That’s a problem for later. For now, sign this draft amendment I’ve prepared," Freza flicked his finger, and a new document appeared on the holographic screen, overwriting the previous bloody contract.

The Curator looked extremely reluctant as he pressed his magical fingerprint onto the document. As soon as it was finished, the luxury office began to vibrate. The lights flickered rapidly, and a new system voice sounded, deeper and more authoritative.

[AMENDMENT ACCEPTED: EARTH’S STATUS CHANGED TO 'SPECIAL ECONOMIC ZONE']

[USERS FREZA AND QORISKI GRANTED 'LIQUIDATOR' OPERATIONAL PERMITS]

"There we go. Isn't it better when we play clean?" Freza said, standing up.

"Don't celebrate yet, Freza," The Curator said with a threatening tone as his body began to fade. "You’ve just signed a contract with entities far more bloodthirsty than any monster. In this galaxy, there is no such thing as a free lunch."

"I know. That’s why I always bring my own bill," Freza replied curtly.

Suddenly, the room exploded into thousands of light particles. Freza and Qoriski felt themselves being pulled back to the surface of the Earth. They fell and landed on the roof of a skyscraper in Jakarta. The air around them still felt heavy, but the color of the sky had returned to blue, albeit filled with digital cracks.

"Hah... hah... finally back in Jakarta," Qoriski panted, sitting on the edge of the roof. "Mas, are we really safe?"

"Safe for now, Qor. But look at that," Freza pointed toward the streets below.

Instead of decreasing, the monsters that were there earlier were now wearing blue uniforms with foreign corporate logos. They were no longer brutally slaughtering people; instead, they were forcing citizens into lines while carrying flyers that read: 'Job Vacancy: Mana Miner - Salary Based on Targets.'

"Huh? Why do the monsters look like factory security guards?" Qoriski asked in bewilderment.

"This is what I feared. Galactic-level capitalism. They aren't killing us, but they want to turn us into laborers forever," Freza muttered, clenching his fist. "We need to set up our own office immediately. We’re going to need a lot more 'lawyers' if we want to fight them."

Suddenly, a small eye-shaped drone flew in front of their faces. The drone projected an emergency message from an unknown sender.

"Help... anyone who can read this... This new system is worse... They are taking everyone's hearts in Sector Six to use as server batteries..."

The voice cut off with a sharp burst of static. Qoriski stared at Freza, his face pale. "Sector Six? That’s near here, Mas! That’s a residential area!"

Freza looked at the watch on his wrist. Time was ticking, and on the horizon, a massive Consortium mothership began to descend through the clouds, carrying thousands of energy-sucking machines ready to be deployed across every corner of the city.

"Get your gavel ready, Qoriski. It seems that amendment was just the first step," Freza said, pulling out his new audit glasses. "We have a lot of assets to seize before they turn them into batteries."

However, as they were about to move, a giant shadow covered the entire roof. Someone landed behind them with a thud that sent a thousand cracks through the concrete.

"So, you’re the ones who dared to interfere with my employer's acquisition plans?"

the voice didn't belong to a monster, nor the curator, but to a woman with a chillingly cold tone. When Freza turned around, he saw a woman in futuristic armor, holding a massive sword coursing with static electricity. Above her head, a status display appeared:

[LV. 250 - CHIEF OF SECURITY: CONSORTIUM ANDROMEDA]

"Mas Freza... I’m not misreading that level, am I? Two hundred and fifty?!" Qoriski whispered, trembling violently.

Freza didn't answer. He only stared at the woman with a sharp gaze, his hand reaching into his pocket to find one last clause that might save their lives, but then he realized something terrifying.

That clause...