The Idle God of Eternal Sloth

Chapter 3: The Heiress's Proposal

Mateo didn't even blink. He tilted his head, his golden eyes narrowing behind his spectacles. The glowing cane in his hand pulsed, casting long, distorted shadows against the peeling wallpaper of the ruined cafe. He looked at the receipt in Nicolás's hand, then back up at his face with a look of pure, unadulterated confusion.

"A receipt?" Mateo asked, his voice dripping with venomous amusement. "You have seconds to live, you absolute buffoon, and you are worrying about a tab at a cafe that is currently being turned into a graveyard?"

Nicolás sighed, the sound echoing through the stillness. He flicked the crumpled paper toward the floor with a bored expression. It fluttered down, landing neatly in a puddle of spilled espresso.

"You interrupted my caffeine intake, Mateo. That is a capital offense in my book," Nicolás said. He didn't take a defensive stance. He didn't even tense his muscles. He just stood there, hands in his pockets, looking like a man waiting for a bus that was running ten minutes late.

Renata stepped up beside him, her breathing ragged. Her hand crept toward the small, silver dagger hidden at her thigh. She could feel the heat radiating off Mateo's cane. It was a pressure so intense it made the hair on her arms stand up. "Nicolás, he is not playing games! That cane is a relic of the Old World. One strike will vaporize everything within thirty feet. We need to move!"

Nicolás didn't look at her. His eyes remained locked on the Enforcer. "Move? Why would I move? I finally found a chair that doesn't hurt my back. I am not leaving this spot until I have finished my business."

Mateo laughed, a sharp, metallic sound. He lunged forward, swinging the cane in a wide, sweeping arc. A wave of searing white light exploded from the tip, tearing through the air like a hot blade through silk. The floor erupted in a fountain of splinters and dust.

Renata screamed, shielding her eyes from the blinding glare. She expected the explosion to rip them apart. She expected the heat to sear the skin from her bones. But when the light cleared, she found herself standing in the exact same spot. Nicolás hadn't moved. He had simply held up one hand, palm open, and the massive wave of energy had shattered against an invisible wall inches from his fingertips.

Mateo skidded to a halt, his face pale. His cane was vibrating, the metal turning a dull, molten red. "What is this? That attack was leveled at a strength capable of flattening a city block! How are you still standing?"

Nicolás yawned, a wide, genuine display of fatigue. "You are quite loud for a man who is about to be very disappointed. Do you have any idea how much XP I have been hoarding just by sitting through your monologue? It is frankly embarrassing for you."

[System Update: Incoming attack detected]

[Action: Blocked]

[XP Gained: 2,000,000]

Nicolás smirked. He finally pulled his hand from his pocket and flicked a speck of dust off his shoulder. "Renata, love, do you see how he uses his whole body to swing that stick? That is your problem. You put too much effort into your combat. You should learn to be more efficient. Like this."

Nicolás didn't throw a punch. He didn't even move his feet. He just tilted his head an inch to the left, and a blast of kinetic force erupted from thin air, slamming into Mateo’s gut. The Enforcer was launched backward, crashing through a heavy mahogany table and slamming into the back wall with enough force to cave the stone in.

Mateo slid to the floor, gasping for air. His cane rolled out of his reach, the light dying out as it clattered across the tiles. He stared at Nicolás with absolute, soul-crushing horror.

Renata stood frozen, her heart thumping against her ribs. She looked from the decimated back wall to the man standing calmly in front of her. The shift in her perspective was total. She had been hunting for an elite warrior, a master of the sword, or a powerful mage. Instead, she had stumbled upon a god who found existence itself to be a mild inconvenience.

"You," Mateo wheezed, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. "You are the one. The rumors were true. You are the anomaly."

Nicolás walked over to the wreckage, stepping casually over the debris. He stopped in front of the dying Enforcer and looked down at him with an expression of mild annoyance. "Rumors? I am just a guy who wants a nap. You are the one who keeps showing up and making a scene. Now, answer me. Who sent you? And more importantly, does your boss have a comfortable couch?"

Renata rushed forward, grabbing Nicolás by the arm. She was shaking, her eyes wide with a mix of terror and an intoxicating, strange desire. She felt a magnetic pull toward him, an attraction that had been simmering since the moment he saved her. She leaned into him, her body soft and warm against his side, her scent of jasmine and gunpowder filling the air.

"Nicolás, stop," she whispered, her voice husky. "He is one of the inner circle. If you kill him here, they will send everyone. The entire Syndicate will descend upon this city."

Nicolás turned his head to look at her. The distance between their faces was so small she could feel the heat radiating from his skin. His eyes were dark, almost black, and they scanned her with a predatory intensity that made her knees feel like liquid. "And why, exactly, does that bother you? You were the one who suggested a deal."

Renata bit her lip, her pulse visible in the hollow of her throat. She looked down at his hand, which was resting near her waist, his touch firm and possessive. The adrenaline of the fight was fading, replaced by a raw, undeniable craving. "I want that deal. I want to be under your protection. I want you to take me away from all of this. I will give you whatever you want. The mansion, the luxury, the silence. Just... tell me you are with me."

Nicolás smiled, a slow, dangerous curve of his lips. He leaned in, his voice a low vibration against her skin. "Whatever I want? That is a bold promise, Renata. Are you sure you can handle a man who finds war as tedious as a commute to work?"

"I don't care," she breathed, moving closer until their bodies were pressed together. "I don't care about anything else. Just save me."

Mateo let out a ragged laugh from the floor, his vision blurring. "You think you can hide? You think she can protect you? You are both dead already. The Syndicate knows your faces. There is nowhere left to run!"

Nicolás didn't even look at the man. He just raised a hand, and with a lazy snap of his fingers, a silent wave of pressure slammed into the room. The remaining walls of the cafe groaned, and the rubble collapsed, sealing the back area off entirely. Mateo went silent, buried under tons of stone and timber.

Nicolás turned back to Renata. He ran a hand through her silver hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. His touch was electric, sending a shiver through her entire frame. The chaos outside was escalating, the sound of sirens and approaching magical energy signatures echoing in the distance, but in the center of the ruin, the world felt very small and very private.

"Fine," Nicolás said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "We have a deal. But we are leaving immediately. I am done with this neighborhood. It has terrible service."

Renata looked at him, her eyes searching his for a sign of sincerity. She found only a deep, bottomless calm. She reached out, gripping his jacket, and pulled him toward her, their lips meeting in a collision of panic, relief, and mounting desire. It was a kiss that tasted of iron and ambition.

Outside, the first signs of the Syndicate’s reinforcements began to materialize, the air shimmering with the arrival of heavy-duty teleportation arrays. The floor began to glow with a sickly, rhythmic pulse. The building was being targeted by an annihilation spell.

Nicolás pulled back, his eyes darting to the corner of the room. He didn't seem worried. He just looked at his system interface, which was blinking with a high-priority warning.

[System Warning: Immediate structural collapse expected]

[Reward for survival: 200,000,000 XP]

[Status: Idle God mode enabled]

"Well," Nicolás murmured, pulling Renata toward the exit. "It seems we are being evicted. I hope your mansion has a better view than this."

As they stepped through the threshold, the entire building behind them disintegrated into a fine, swirling mist of grey particles. The street was already blocked by a wall of black-robed figures, their hands crackling with enough power to level the district. They stood in a perfect formation, blocking every path.

Renata stood behind Nicolás, her hand trembling in his. "There are dozens of them, Nicolás. They have the whole block locked down."

Nicolás looked at the army, then back at the receipt he had crumpled up, which he had somehow retrieved from the floor. He smoothed it out against his palm, looking at the total.

"They have the block locked down?" Nicolás asked, his voice calm. "Renata, do you have any idea how much I hate being told what to do?"

He took a step forward, the pavement beneath his boots cracking like dry ice. The air around them began to distort, the space warping as his passive aura expanded. The lead mages stopped, their faces pale as they realized the person they were facing wasn't just another target. He was an anomaly. He was something that defied the laws of their reality.

"Are you going to move?" Nicolás asked the army, his voice echoing with a power that made the very atmosphere tremble. "Or do I have to show you what happens when a god gets really, truly bored?"