The Immortal's Guide to Accidental Courtship

Chapter 3: The Reluctant Fiance

Aetherion’s groan was still echoing through the rafters of the Silver Moon Pavilion when a firm, calloused hand gripped his elbow. The Sword-Saint didn't just walk; she moved with the inevitable momentum of a landslide, and currently, Aetherion was caught in the path of destruction.

“Move,” Zinnia commanded, her voice regaining its icy edge, though her cheeks still held a faint, betraying pink. “The carriage is waiting. We’re leaving before the Imperial Envoys start asking for a blood sample or a genealogy report.”

“The ribs, Zinnia! Think of the ribs!” Aetherion pleaded, casting a longing glance back at the buffet. “They’re sitting there, cold and unloved. It’s a tragedy.”

“You’ve eaten enough for three men and a small horse,” she snapped, practically lifting him off the ground as she marched him toward the exit. “You’re coming with me to the Everdawn Estate. We have… things to discuss. Mostly involving why you’re pretending to be a beggar when you can shatter jade pillars with your nose.”

“It was an allergy! A very legitimate medical condition!”

Outside, a carriage carved from white spirit-wood and pulled by four horses with hooves made of actual fire waited. Aetherion poked one of the horses with a cautious finger.

“Does this thing have a heater?” he asked. “My cave was drafty, but at least it didn't smell like burnt hair.”

“Get in,” Zinnia said, shoving him into the plush, silk-lined interior. She climbed in after him, slamming the door so hard the spirit-wood groaned.

As the carriage lurched into the air, soaring above the Thousand-Cloud Peaks, Aetherion sank into the cushions, which were softer than anything he’d felt in three centuries.

“So,” he said, breaking the silence. “About this ‘betrothal’ thing. We can just tell everyone it was a prank, right? A social experiment? ‘Local Saint Gets Pranked by Cave-Dweller’—it’ll be a hit.”

Zinnia stared at him, her silver eyes Narrowing. “A prank? Aetherion, you handed me a Soul-Binding Lily in front of the most powerful people in the Empire. If I back out now, my sect’s reputation is ruined. My family’s honor is shredded. And you? You’ll be hunted down by every suitor I’ve ever rejected. And trust me, there are thousands of them, and most are better at aiming than Marius.”

“Thousands?” Aetherion whistled. “You’re a high-maintenance investment, aren't you? Look, lady, I just want to nap. I’ve been sleeping for a long time, and I’m still not quite caught up.”

“Who are you?” she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Truly. No commoner has that kind of internal pressure. You didn't even use a technique. You just… existed at him.”

“I’m just Aetherion,” he lied, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “I like oatmeal, long walks to the bathroom, and not being stabbed. That’s my whole deal.”

“We’ll see what my brother thinks about your ‘deal,’” Zinnia muttered, looking out the window. “He’s been the head of the Everdawn House since our parents passed. He’s… protective.”

“Protective? Great. I love meeting brothers who want to kill me,” Aetherion sighed. “Is there a snack bar in this carriage?”

*

The Everdawn Estate was less of a house and more of a small, fortified city perched on a floating island. Waterfalls of liquid light cascaded from the edges, and the air was so thick with spiritual energy it felt like breathing warm honey.

When the carriage touched down, a man was already waiting on the marble landing. He was tall, dressed in sharp black-and-crimson robes, with a face that looked like it had been carved from a very grumpy diamond.

“Zinnia,” the man said, his voice a low rumble. “Tell me the messengers were lying. Tell me you didn't actually accept a flower from a man who looks like he’s been living in a dumpster.”

“Cassian,” Zinnia said, stepping out of the carriage. “It’s… complicated.”

Aetherion hopped out after her, stumbling slightly on the smooth stone. He looked at Cassian, then at the massive, intimidating spear the man was leaning on.

“Nice place you got here,” Aetherion said, offering a weak wave. “Love the floating rocks. Very ‘I have too much money and don’t know how to spend it.’ Is that a fountain made of wine? Classy.”

Cassian didn't respond. He simply stared at Aetherion, his eyes glowing with a faint, crimson light. Aetherion felt a wave of spiritual pressure wash over him—a deliberate, probing scan designed to crush the spirit of anyone weaker than the user.

Aetherion sighed internally. Here we go. He practiced a very specific technique he’d mastered centuries ago: The Art of Being Extremely Unimpressive. He pulled his aura inward, burying his primordial essence under layers of ‘mediocre peasant’ energy.

Cassian’s frown deepened. He increased the pressure. Aetherion just scratched his stomach and yawned.

“I don’t feel anything,” Cassian said, his voice dripping with disbelief. “Zinnia, this man has no ki. None. His meridians are as dry as a desert. He’s a literal nobody. A commoner. A zero.”

“He defeated Marius Celestine, Cassian,” Zinnia said firmly.

“Marius is a peacock who trips over his own feet!” Cassian stepped forward, looming over Aetherion. “Listen to me, you little leech. I don’t know how you tricked my sister. Maybe you found that Lily in an old ruin and thought it was a lottery ticket. But the Everdawn family doesn't marry into the mud.”

“I’m more of a ‘loam’ guy myself,” Aetherion said, unfazed. “And honestly, I’m with you, Big Bro. This whole marriage thing? Terrible idea. Why don’t you just give me a bag of gold, a nice ham, and I’ll disappear? Everyone wins.”

Cassian’s eyes flickered with surprise, then narrowed again. “A gold-digger. I knew it. You have no shame at all, do you?”

“Shame is heavy. I like to travel light,” Aetherion replied.

“Cassian, enough,” Zinnia stepped between them. “The vow was made. The High Elder witnessed it. If we kick him out now, we’re the ones who look like oath-breakers.”

Cassian gripped his spear so hard the wood creaked. “Fine. If the law says he must be tested, then he will be tested. But I won't have a coward in the family.”

He turned his gaze back to Aetherion, a cruel smirk playing on his lips.

“There’s a tradition in our house,” Cassian said. “Before a consort is accepted, he must show he can provide for the table. We’re having a small hunting competition this evening in the spirit-woods. You, me, and a few of the sect disciples.”

“Hunting? Like… with running?” Aetherion looked horrified. “Can’t we just play cards? Or a nice game of ‘Who Can Stay Still the Longest’?”

“If you win, I’ll consider letting you sleep in the guest house instead of the stables,” Cassian said. “If you lose… well, accidents happen in the woods. Beasts are very hungry this time of year.”

“Cassian, that’s not fair,” Zinnia protested. “He doesn't even have a weapon!”

“He can use his nose,” Cassian mocked, turning away. “Be at the forest gate in an hour, ‘Sect Leader.’ Try not to die on the way there.”

Aetherion watched him walk away, then looked at Zinnia. “He seems nice. Very stable. Definitely doesn't have a hidden basement full of people he’s disagreed with.”

“He’s going to kill you, Aetherion,” Zinnia said, her voice full of genuine concern. “The spirit-woods are full of Grade-4 Shadow-Wolves and Razor-Boars. Even I have to be careful in there.”

“Don't worry about it,” Aetherion said, stretching his arms. “I’m a great hunter. Back in my day, I was known as the ‘Bane of the Squirrels.’ They feared my name.”

“You’re going to die for a ham, aren't you?”

“It was a very good-looking ham, Zinnia.”

*

The spirit-woods were a nightmare of glowing blue moss and trees that seemed to move when you weren't looking. Cassian and a group of elite disciples were already deep in the brush, the sounds of their bows and spirit-arts echoing through the trees.

Aetherion, meanwhile, was sitting on a stump near a small creek, tossing pebbles into the water.

“Let’s see,” he muttered to himself. “Cassian wants a show. If I catch a rabbit, he’ll call me a weakling. If I catch nothing, he’ll kick me out. If I catch a wolf, he’ll think I’m a threat. I just need something small, easy, and impressive-looking. A ‘Spark-Bunny’ maybe? Yeah, those are cute and glowy.”

He closed his eyes, extending a tiny, microscopic thread of his actual power into the surrounding forest. He didn't want to hunt; he just wanted to whistle. He sent out a gentle, beckoning vibration through the ground—a call that, in his mind, translated to ‘Hey, small, tasty animal, come here for a second so I can pretend I caught you.’

But Aetherion had been asleep for a long time. His ‘microscopic’ thread of power was, by modern standards, a tidal wave of primordial authority.

The forest went silent. The birds stopped chirping. Somewhere in the distance, he heard Cassian shout in confusion.

“Wait, where is it going?” a disciple yelled. “The Alpha-Wolf! It’s running away!”

Aetherion frowned. “Must have pushed too hard. Let’s dial it back. Just a little… nudge.”

He flicked his wrist, sending a pulse of essence toward a nearby bush.

The ground began to shake. Not a little tremor, but a deep, rhythmic thumping that felt like the heartbeat of the mountain itself. The trees parted as if pushed by an invisible hand.

Aetherion blinked as a shadow fell over him. A very large, very gold, very terrifying shadow.

Out of the brush stepped a creature the size of a house. It looked like a cross between a lion and a dragon, covered in scales that burned with white fire. It had six eyes, three tails, and a crown of antlers made of pure diamond.

It was a Solar-Emperor Chimera—a beast that hadn't been seen in the mortal realm for three thousand years. Legend said that its appearance heralded the birth of an empire or the end of an era.

The massive beast looked at Aetherion. Then, slowly, it lowered its terrifying head and let out a soft, whimpering sound, wagging its three tails like an overexcited puppy. It dropped a massive, uprooted ancient tree—one laden with golden, glowing fruit—at Aetherion’s feet.

Aetherion stared at the legendary beast, then at the golden fruit, then at the sound of crashing brush as Cassian and Zinnia burst into the clearing.

Cassian froze, his spear dropping from his nerveless fingers. His face went from arrogant to pale-white in a fraction of a second.

“Is that…” Cassian stammered, his voice cracking. “Is that a… a Solar-Emperor?”

Aetherion looked at the monster, which was currently trying to lick his face with a tongue the size of a surfboard.

“Uh,” Aetherion said, wiping chimera-drool off his shoulder. “It’s a… big rabbit? A really, really big rabbit?”

Zinnia just stared at him, her sword halfway out of its scabbard. “Aetherion… what did you do?”

“I just wanted a snack,” Aetherion whispered, as the Chimera nudged him playfully, accidentally knocking over a nearby cliffside. “I really, really should have stayed in the cave.”