The Promise of No Words

Chapter 5

Have you ever stuck a knife into someone’s throat?

I looked at him, letting the dancing light from the fire cast shadows that seemed to move with the smoke. The wood, wet from the rain, made a soft hissing noise as it tried to catch fire and its crackling was barely audible in the quiet night. Thomir was resting on the other side of the clearing, wrapped in a blanket I had repaired with birch thread, the edges showing how far we had come. His breaths were rough and irregular, showing how much the fever had affected him. 

Even though the heat had gone away hours earlier, he was still sleeping deeply. Not truly. My worry remained, mixing with the smell of smoke, as I noticed his brow wrinkle now and then, hoping he would wake up to the crackling fire and the soft sounds of nature.

I kept mixing the broth.

“Well?” Bunny spoke with a sharp tone, as if he wanted me to react.

I didn’t.

“No.”

“Not a single time?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Have I been given the opportunity?”

He looked at me with a face covered in mud, ash and what seemed to be fruit pulp. Probably stolen.

He said, “You’re not as dull as you appear to be.”

“Thanks.”

“That wasn’t meant to be a compliment.”

It didn’t seem like a good one.

He let out a low huff and his bones twisted, making him look even more hideous than before, like shadows dancing in the wind on a cool autumn day. He was just a boy, with his usual youthful face brightened by the dancing flames. After that, he turned into a small foxlike animal, its body curled by the fire, its fur shining like embers in the night, its ears moving at every sound and a mouth full of sharp teeth. I turned my head, my heart beating fast and kept stirring the pot as the bubbling food helped me ignore the strange events happening around me.

Whenever he did that, it seemed like I was witnessing something I shouldn’t have. Not entirely wrong, but not quite right either. Just… uninvited.

“I’m trying to understand what you are,” Bunny said, her voice rough from the fire. “And it’s fucking annoying.”

I didn’t say anything.

I can change and you don’t react. I am the only one who can make you speak. You never even ask me what I am.

“You can share your thoughts when you want to.”

He let out a quiet growl. “You’re not interested in learning more?”

“I’m tired.”

“Bullshit.”

I put the pot down. “You never lie.”

He moved his body, reaching out long and thin. “Nope.”

It seems you really meant what you said about leaving me for dead if I bothered you.

“Definitely.”

“And when you said you hate hearing people cry.”

“I hate it.”

“What did you mean when you said I smell like rain and ashes?”

He paused. “That was just a creative way of saying it.”

“Still true?”

He transformed once more, becoming a boy again and sitting beside the fire like a wild animal. “Yeah. It’s true.”

I rested against the root of the fallen pine, looking up at the sky that was partly clear. The storm was mostly over. Some stars could be seen shining through the torn clouds. The air was filled with the scents of mud, blood and broken herbs.

Bunny moved closer, removing twigs from his hair.

“I was once tied up,” he said all of a sudden. “Oath-magic. An unpleasant old man.

I didn’t answer. Just nodded.

Not as clean as the ones your uncle has, either. Not trade-oaths. Not truth-charms. The ugly shit. Real binding. The type that makes you feel awful if you ever consider doing anything wrong.

He paused. He then pulled his shirt up.

The marks were still visible. His skin was marked with slashes, curved like fire ink, made by something even more painful than a blade. They curled up his back, high and fierce. I didn’t avert my eyes.

“Does it hurt when you touch them?”

“Not anymore.”

“Can you recall who committed the crime?”

“Yeah.”

I waited. He didn’t say anything else.

“Why bother telling me?” I asked.

He shrugged. “You never ask questions that are stupid.”

I stared at the fire, my eyes not shedding any tears. I felt no heat on my skin. Not properly.

“Isn’t my silence more powerful than any scream?” I responded, after a pause.

He glanced at me from the side. You understood what I said.

“You say a lot of shit when you think I’m asleep.”

He smirked. “You’re either not very bright,” he said, “or you’re a threat.”

I used a stick to stir the fire.

I’m not sure I fit into those categories.

“If that’s the case, you’re mistaken.”

We remained quiet. The sound of crickets came from the trees. An owl hooted and another owl responded. Bunny took a cautious sniff of the air. He tapped his fingers on his thigh.

“You’re not afraid of me,” he said after a while.

“No.”

“You ought to.”

“I think I should.”

“Why don’t you do the same?”

I looked up at the stars. “I’m so tired that I can’t be afraid.”

He laughed. A small, unfriendly person.

“Keep your head up,” he told me. “Stars are not concerned with your feelings.”

“I know.”

“What thoughts come to mind when you see them?”

I shut my eyes. “If I could catch one, this is what I’d do.”

“That’s dumb.”

“Maybe.”

Silence again. The fire made a hissing sound as a wet log moved.

“I keep dreaming about claws,” Bunny said all of a sudden. “Teeth. Blood. Sometimes, they are not my own.

“I figured.”

“And sometimes…” He paused. I sometimes have dreams where I feel small. I can’t seem to move fast enough. I feel something tugging at my ribs, as if there’s a hook inside me. It feels like it has control over me.

I didn’t say anything.

He turned over and looked up at the same stars. “Do you ever have dreams?”

“Not often.”

“Bullshit again.”

I shrugged.

He asked, “What are your dreams?”

I didn’t give an answer immediately.

I finally said, “It’s the little things.” “Things I have lost.”

“Like what?”

“A rock. A feather. The voice of my mother.”

He blinked.

“I used to have a feather,” he said. I held it in my mouth for three days before it finally melted.

“Why?”

I did it because I wanted to. That’s why.”

I gave a small smile.

He kicked me with his dirty foot. “You’re weird.”

“You are, too.”

“Still, I’m a lot of fun.”

He shut his eyes.

For some time, we remained silent.

Thomir made a soft sound as he slept.

I went over to examine the bandages on his body. Bunny didn’t go with them. He remained in that spot, taking deep breaths and staring into space.

I softly said, “Hey.”

“What?”

I’m happy that you are still around.

He didn’t say anything. But there was a slight movement at the corner of his mouth. Not much.

That was all I needed.