Home / System / The Shameless Urban System: Lust and Laughter / Chapter 2: First Mission: An Accidental Touch
Chapter 2: First Mission: An Accidental Touch
last update2026-06-15 12:08:37

Modibo’s shrill laughter pierced the suffocating silence in front of the headquarters lobby. Rendy felt as if all the oxygen in his vicinity had been vacuumed out. His tongue had been mere millimeters away from the smooth, cool skin on the back of Mariam’s hand, but Modibo’s presence hit him like a sledgehammer, crushing what little remained of his dignity.

[Time Remaining: 00:03]

The red numbers in the corner of his vision flickered aggressively, as if mocking his ruin. If he stopped now, his heart would simply give out. Dying on his knees at the feet of the boss he feared most while being laughed at by his arch-nemesis? That was hardly an elegant way to go.

"Rendy! You really have no shame, do you?" Modibo stepped forward, twirling his Mercedes-Benz keys on his finger. His greasy face looked immensely satisfied. "After your garbage sales performance this month, now you’re trying to suck up, or should I say, literally lick, Ms. Mariam’s feet so you don’t get fired?"

Mariam, who had been frozen in shock, finally snapped back to reality. Her face, usually as cold and beautiful as the peak of Everest, slowly flushed, not with embarrassment, but with explosive rage. Her sharp eyes stared down at Rendy, who was still kneeling at her feet.

"Rendy... what on earth... Let go of my hand this instant!" Mariam’s voice trembled, low and threatening.

[Time Remaining: 00:01]

Screw dignity! Rendy’s mind screamed.

In one desperate motion fueled by pure survival instinct, Rendy didn’t just let go of Mariam’s hand. Instead, he yanked it closer to his face. Panicked and suffering from motor coordination failure due to the adrenaline, he lost his balance. Instead of a polite hand-kiss, his body lurched too far forward.

Thud!

Rendy tripped over his own feet and tumbled directly into Mariam’s legs, which were encased in a tight black pencil skirt. His head landed squarely between her knees and thighs, while his hands still gripped her wrists tightly. The scent of expensive, sensual jasmine perfume and the warmth radiating from her body instantly flooded his senses.

"Ugh!" Mariam let out a soft yelp, her body pushed backward until she leaned against the still-warm hood of her car. This position was well beyond the boundaries of any professional conduct. Rendy’s face was now pressed between Mariam’s firm thighs, a position that, for any other man, might have been heaven, but for Rendy, felt like a delayed death sentence.

[Time Remaining: 00:00]

Smack!

Rendy didn’t care anymore. With his face still buried against the fabric of her skirt, he managed to pull the back of her hand to his lips and planted a deep, wet kiss.

[DING! EMERGENCY MISSION COMPLETE!]

[Reward: Survival & Basic Stamina Boost (+1) have been credited.]

[Bonus: Humiliated Bravery (+2 Attribute Points) - Because you did this in front of an annoying witness.]

Rendy could feel a sudden surge of warm energy flowing through his spine, erasing the exhaustion and the trembling in his legs. However, the satisfaction lasted only half a second before the reality of the situation crashed down on him.

"REENDYYYYYYY!"

Mariam’s scream shook the entire parking area. She shoved his head away with incredible force, causing him to topple backward and land flat on his back on the asphalt.

Modibo gasped, his phone already out, recording the entire incident. "You’re insane... you’re absolutely insane, Rendy! Ms. Mariam, this is sexual harassment! Let me call security right now!"

Mariam stood there, gasping for breath. Her hair, usually perfectly coiffed, was now slightly disheveled. Her eyes blazed with fury as she stared at Rendy as if he were a disgusting insect. "Give me one reason... just one reason why I shouldn’t call the police and make sure you rot in jail today, Rendy."

Rendy swallowed hard. His brain spun at a speed he had never reached throughout college. This damn 'Urban-Lecher' system had pushed him into a hole, and now he had to use the same brand of madness to crawl out.

He scrambled to his feet, but instead of running or offering a standard apology, he dropped into what could only be described as a human “Sorry Icon” pose, pressing his palms together in front of his chest with his face pulled into the palest, most tragic expression he could muster.

"Forgive me, Ms. Mariam! Please, don't misunderstand!" Rendy shouted with highly dramatic flair, crocodile tears beginning to well up in the corners of his eyes. "This... this is the Hand-Offering Tradition from my ancestral village in the remote parts of Maliana!"

Mariam knitted her beautiful eyebrows. "What tradition?"

"The Hand-Offering Tradition for the Absolution of Work-Sins, Ma'am!" Rendy continued, his voice shaking violently as if he were carrying the weight of the world. "This morning, when you sent the message about my firing, I felt my heart stop. In our village, if a subordinate disappoints their master, the only way to beg for a second chance before the sun reaches its peak is to perform the 'Kiss of Humility' on the hand of the provider."

Modibo laughed loudly. "Tradition? Don't lie! I’ve seen your profile, you were born in this city, Rendy!"

Rendy turned to Modibo with a gaze of genuine, burning hatred, which actually helped his performance. "You know nothing, Modibo! My mother came from a hidden clan that holds these ancient ethics in high regard. I know it looks shameful, but I would rather die in disgrace than lose the job I love under Ms. Mariam’s leadership!"

Rendy looked back at Mariam, his eyes now radiating a forced 'sincerity.' He noticed the cold sweat trickling down her temple. She looked conflicted. Her logic told her Rendy was a pervert, but the way he had stumbled and the sheer desperation on his face felt so real, mostly because Rendy had been genuinely terrified of dying a second ago.

"You know how hard I work, Ma'am, even if the results haven't shown yet," Rendy crawled slightly forward, making Mariam reflexively take a step back. "That kiss... it wasn't lust. It was an act of total devotion. If you still want to fire me, please go ahead. But at least I have performed my village's ritual so that my bad luck won't rub off on this company!"

Mariam went silent. She was the type of woman who was highly logical and assertive, but she also harbored a superstitious side that few people knew about. Rendy’s absurd explanation, combined with his insane bravery (or pure insanity) to do such a thing in public, made her waver.

"Ms. Mariam, don't listen to him! He's just making excuses because he got caught red-handed!" Modibo provoked, hoping to see Rendy dragged away by security.

Mariam raised her hand, signaling for Modibo to be quiet. She stared at Rendy for a long, long time. Physically, Rendy wasn't bad, he had a firm jawline and broad enough shoulders, even if he looked like a disheveled loser right now. But there was something different about his gaze today. There was an intensity Mariam hadn’t seen before.

"Stand up, Rendy," Mariam said coldly. Her voice wasn't as high-pitched as before, but it remained filled with authority.

Rendy stood up slowly, brushing dust off his trousers. "Thank you, Ma'am."

"Don't thank me yet," Mariam smoothed out her blouse, which had shifted during the incident, a sight that made Rendy involuntarily swallow as he took in the curves of his boss's body. "I don't know if that village story of yours is real or just a fabrication of your sick brain. But..."

"considering your 'extraordinary' dedication that led you to kiss my hand in public..."

Mariam left her sentence hanging, making Rendy’s heart hammer against his ribs.

"I’ll give you until this afternoon. If you can’t bring back the contract from the client you’ve been missing out on, you’re still gone. And if you dare touch me again without permission..." Mariam stepped closer, her scent engulfing Rendy once more. She whispered right into his ear in a tone that was as seductive as it was lethal, "I will make sure you never be able to use your hands or your tongue for anything ever again."

Mariam turned and walked toward the office elevator with sharp, decisive steps, the click-clack of her heels echoing through the lobby. Her upright posture and gracefully swaying hips provided a view that would leave any normal man frozen in his tracks.

Modibo snorted in disappointment. He stared at Rendy with pure hatred. "You’re lucky this time, scum. But don't expect to get that contract. I’ll make sure that client signs with me personally."

Modibo spat beside Rendy’s feet before striding off toward his car.

Rendy let out a long breath, his legs feeling like jelly. He had just survived death, both the physical death from the system and the career death. He wiped his lips, still able to feel the lingering sensation of Mariam’s cold, soft skin.

"Crazy... this is just crazy," Rendy muttered to himself.

[Ding!]

The mechanical voice that Rendy now despised echoed in his head. A transparent screen appeared before him, shimmering with a seductive golden light.

[Main Mission Stage 1 Complete!]

[Unlocking New Function: 'Target Desire Detection']

[Calculating Points... You have gained 50 Shameless Points (SP).]

[Notification: The system detects that S-Rank target 'Mariam' is experiencing high levels of stress and muscle tension in her shoulder area due to the incident earlier.]

[New Quest: 'Soothing Touch']

[Description: Enter Mariam’s office and give her a shoulder massage for at least 5 minutes until she lets out a sigh of relaxation.]

[Time Limit: 15 minutes from now.]

[Reward: Passive Skill - 'Godly Hands' (Increases hand sensitivity and expertise in all tasks).]

[Failure Penalty: Permanent Impotence for 30 days.]

Rendy’s eyes widened. "What?! A shoulder massage? She just threatened to cut off my tongue and hands, and now you want me to touch her shoulders?!"

[Time running: 14:55...]

Rendy looked toward the elevator where Mariam had just disappeared. The 'Permanent Impotence' penalty sounded far more terrifying than Mariam’s threat. As a young man who had just received the 'Shameless System,' becoming impotent was an irony he simply could not accept.

"Damn you, System! You really want me to die a martyr at that woman’s hands!"

Without wasting a second, Rendy sprinted toward the elevator. He had to catch Mariam before she sat at her desk and called security to have him removed from her sight.

Inside the rising elevator, Rendy tried to steady his breathing. He looked at his reflection in the polished walls. His eyes looked sharper, and a strange aura of confidence began to radiate from him, a side effect of the attribute points the system had just given him.

"Okay, Rendy. Think logically," he told himself. "She’s stressed. She just went through an embarrassing incident. Her shoulders must be tense. I just need to go in there, pretend I’m trying to apologize formally, and... boom! Godly Hands."

The elevator dinged. The top floor, Mariam’s domain.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Rendy was greeted by a secretary’s desk manned by a woman named Fatoumata, who was busy typing. Fatoumata looked up and stared at Rendy with raised eyebrows.

"Rendy? Isn't Ms. Mariam just..."

"Sorry, Fatoumata, this is a matter of life and death for the company!" Rendy lunged past the desk without waiting for permission.

He reached the large oak door of Mariam’s office. Without knocking, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Inside, Mariam was sitting in her massive chair, facing away from the door and looking out at the city view through the large glass window. She was indeed massaging her own temples with her left hand, while her right hand gripped a pen so tightly her knuckles were white.

"Fatoumata, I said don't let anyone in..." Mariam spun her chair around, and her sentence trailed off when she saw Rendy standing there with an unreadable expression.

"You?! How dare you?!"

Rendy didn't let her finish. With speed boosted by his new stamina stat, he strode across the room. Before Mariam could stand up or scream, Rendy was already behind her chair.

"Ma'am, please, just be quiet for a moment. I know you’re incredibly stressed because of what happened earlier, and that’s my fault," Rendy’s voice sounded much deeper and huskier, almost like a hypnotic baritone, a side effect of his rising Charisma stat.

"What are you doing?! Stay away from..."

Rendy’s hands landed on Mariam’s shoulders.

Instantly, Mariam jolted. She wanted to pull away, but the second Rendy’s palms touched her stiff neck muscles, a wave of incredible warmth surged through her entire body. It felt as though Rendy’s hands were the perfect temperature to melt the frozen tension in her frame.

[System: 'Calming Touch' skill temporarily activated to assist with mission success.]

"Let... go..." Mariam’s voice softened. Instead of fighting back, her head slumped slightly forward as Rendy’s fingers began an expert kneading motion at the base of her skull.

Rendy could feel how smooth the skin was beneath the collar of Mariam’s blouse. He could smell her fragrant hair even closer now. This was a danger zone, but it was also highly addictive.

"Just five minutes, Ma'am," Rendy whispered near her ear. "After that, you can fire me if this massage doesn't make you feel any better."

Mariam closed her eyes. She hated to admit it, but Rendy’s touch felt... magical. Every bit of pressure from his thumbs seemed to find the deepest, most hidden knots of stress in her body. She felt a strange, delightful tingle racing down her spine, pooling low in her abdomen.

"Ahhh..." a soft, gentle sigh escaped Mariam’s lips before she could stop it.

Just then, the office door swung open with a loud bang.

"Ms. Mariam! I have the report on Rendy’s behavior that..."

Modibo froze in the doorway. His eyes bulged nearly out of their sockets at the scene before him: His notoriously ruthless boss was sitting limp with her eyes closed and her face flushed, while Rendy stood behind her, his hands buried behind her blouse collar, performing a massage that looked extremely... intimate.

Rendy glanced at Modibo with a deeply annoying smirk. "You again, Modibo? Can’t you see we’re busy?"

The situation had just shifted from a therapy session into the biggest scandal in the company's history. And Rendy knew, his system was just starting to warm up.

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