The Ultimate Epic Fail Influencer
The Ultimate Epic Fail Influencer
Author: Eeeeric
Chapter 1
Author: Eeeeric
last update2026-06-18 23:31:56

The harsh light of the smartphone screen illuminated the dark room, reflecting off exhausted eyes. The webpage for the SATs score inquiry remained frozen on the digital display.

Failed.

In that fleeting second, time seemed to grind to a halt. A heavy silence pressed down on the cramped bedroom, amplifying his shallow breaths.

"Hmph! He couldn't even get into a decent college! Does he still have the nerve to come out and eat?"

The furious roar of a middle-aged man shattered the quiet, the volume vibrating violently through the thin door.

Sam Sparks felt his eyebrows knit together, a cold knot of dread forming in his stomach. He locked the screen, slipped the phone away, and pushed the door open.

In the brightly lit dining room, an atmosphere thick with tension choked the air. Stan Sparks, his face flushed crimson with anger, leaned over the dinner table, directing his conversation entirely toward the relatives beside him.

"Just let Joel go to that company and take the position," Stan Sparks declared with a dismissive wave. "My own son is completely useless and couldn't even pass the SATs. Are you kidding me? Sending him there would be a monumental waste."

Sam Sparks froze dead in his tracks. A freezing chill washed over his body. That specific job was the only decent opportunity his maternal uncle had painstakingly arranged for him. It was his ultimate safety net. Yet, his father had not only kept him in the dark but casually handed the golden ticket over to his cousin. It felt exactly as if someone had delivered a vicious slap directly to his face, leaving his cheeks burning with humiliation.

"Well then, thank you very much, Uncle," his cousin chimed in. Joel Sparks sat comfortably, a smug grin plastered across his face. "I will absolutely work hard and make the most of this position."

The audacity snapped the paralysis holding him in place. "Dad, did you seriously just give my job away to someone else?" Sam Sparks asked, his voice dropping to a dangerously quiet pitch.

Before the last syllable left his lips, a deafening crash echoed. Stan Sparks slammed his heavy palm down against the wooden table, rattling the porcelain bowls.

"Give it to someone else? Are you even worthy of that job?" his father bellowed, thick veins bulging against his neck. "All you do every day is play on your phone! You score a garbage grade and still harbor delusions of going to a good company? You need to learn some self-awareness and figure out your actual place!"

Not a single relative moved to intervene. Instead, they watched like spectators enjoying a free show.

"Oh my, please calm down," one aunt offered without genuine sympathy. "People can still manage to feed themselves without going to a university."

Another relative chimed in with a mocking sneer. "Didn't Sam Sparks say before that he wanted to make a living off his good looks? Why not go try being an influencer?"

"An influencer? Him?" A chorus of abrasive laughter erupted around the table. "That is absolutely hilarious. Any random clown with a camera thinks they can start live streaming. You are a complete academic failure. Your follower count wouldn't even equal the ticks on my dog!"

"Being a product-selling influencer might work out," another aunt added, chuckling.

"Let us not encourage him to sell products. When he loses all his capital, he will just anger his father again," Joel interjected, casually swirling his drink with zero remorse. "It would be much more appropriate for someone of his caliber to just go deliver food on the streets!"

The room erupted into another round of unapologetic laughter.

"Hmph. What a complete embarrassment," Stan Sparks sneered coldly, turning his back in sheer disgust.

Sam Sparks slowly rubbed his throbbing head. Since his mother passed away years ago, his father had morphed into an impossibly stubborn patriarch. And to be fair to the harsh insults, his own academic performance had always been undeniably abysmal.

Just as the heavy weight of despair threatened to crush him, a crisp, mechanical chime echoed inside his mind.

Ding. The Epic Fail Influencer System is currently binding to the host.

Binding successfully completed. First-time activation recognized. You have received the Starter Pack.

A holographic interface materialized out of thin air. Sam Sparks widened his eyes in astonishment. He had read countless web novels, but experiencing a golden finger firsthand was staggering. What on earth was an Epic Fail Influencer System? Was he actually being forced to become an influencer?

He quickly pushed the lingering doubts aside. Having a mysterious system was infinitely better than nothing at all. "Open the Starter Pack," he commanded silently.

Ding. You have obtained the God-Tier Luck ability. A power capable of transmuting terrible misfortune into incredible good fortune.

"God-Tier Luck?" he muttered under his breath, adrenaline rushing through his veins. "That sounds incredibly overpowered."

Driven by frantic anticipation, he hurriedly pulled his phone out and refreshed the SATs result website. He stared intensely at the screen, but the terrible score remained completely unchanged. He had still failed spectacularly.

A frown crept onto his face. In the fantasy novels he devoured, a system usually granted immediate, tangible physical benefits. The protagonist's body became supernaturally strong, or their intelligence skyrocketed. Yet, this supposedly miraculous luck ability had produced zero physical reactions. "Could this be a scam system?" he wondered anxiously.

He immediately pulled up the system introduction panel. Every time he completed a live broadcasting task, he would earn an opportunity to spin a prize wheel containing massive sums of cash, luxurious mansions, sports cars, and superhuman skills.

"Holy crap, this changes the game," he thought, his heart hammering against his ribs. "Even putting the immense material wealth aside, if I manage to grab just one of those incredible skills, I could easily stand at the absolute pinnacle of this world!"

Since he had already failed his exams and been robbed of his only job prospect, he would just have to rely on streaming to defy the heavens and rewrite his miserable destiny.

"Yes, you are all absolutely right," Sam Sparks spoke up, his firm voice cutting clearly through the lingering chuckles in the room. "I actually do plan on becoming an influencer."

An eerie, pin-drop silence instantly descended upon the dining room. Forks halted halfway to open mouths, and eyes widened in sheer disbelief.

"We were throwing around a joke, and you actually took it seriously?" an aunt finally sputtered. "Is your brain completely broken? You just failed the SATs, and you do not even have a proper job lined up. Do you honestly believe that live streaming is a career suited for someone of your incredibly low caliber?"

Joel Sparks let out a derisive snort. "Do you even know what an influencer is? They are nothing more than grandstanding clowns who rely on making fools of themselves to attract attention. It is a completely classless, low-grade profession!"

His aunt chimed in with total disdain. "Instead of hurrying to find some heavy manual labor to make an honest living, you actually want to rely on your face to eat? Do you truly consider yourself some kind of famous celebrity?"

The rest of the family eagerly joined the verbal assault, their words dripping with unfiltered contempt.

"Are you completely out of your mind!" Stan Sparks roared, shooting up from his chair so fast it crashed onto the floor. He glared at his son as if looking at a bitter enemy, before turning his gaze toward the nephew sitting beside him. His harsh tone immediately softened. "It is exactly as I expected. Joel is willing to endure hardship and is wonderfully sensible. He is vastly more suited to sit in that corporate position than you ever will be!"

The words struck Sam Sparks like a physical blow. To be looked down upon so thoroughly by his own biological father was a uniquely miserable flavor of tragedy.

Feigning a look of deep concern, Joel put on a theatrical display. "Listen here, how about we do it this way? I will raise both hands in support of your broadcasting career. In fact, next time I get off work, I will even help promote your channel. I think a highly fitting title would be: The Broadcasting Dreams of My Academic Failure Cousin!"

The dining room exploded into yet another round of uproarious laughter.

Stan Sparks shot a vicious, venomous glare at his son, devoid of any fatherly affection.

"There is no need for you to trouble yourself," Sam Sparks replied coldly, turning on his heel toward the door. "I have my own plans to worry about."

As he reached the doorway, his father's furious reprimand chased after him. "Hmph! You are nothing but an absolute disgrace! I, Stan Sparks, have no idea how I ended up raising such a worthless son! You are a complete embarrassment! A total embarrassment!"

Sam Sparks ignored the screaming entirely, walking out into the cool evening air. With a miraculous system bound to his soul, why should he fear being unable to rise above the masses?

Just as the door clicked shut behind him, the crisp mechanical voice echoed once more.

Ding. System Task Generated.

Epic Fail Challenge 001: The Urban Delivery Storm!

Objective: Accept a single food delivery order and successfully deliver it to the customer within the strictly allotted time limit.

Restrictions: The live broadcast must not be interrupted under any circumstances. You are strictly forbidden from turning off the viewer comment bullet screen.

Reward: Upon successful completion of this Epic Fail Challenge, the host will obtain plus one chance for the prize draw wheel!

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