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Ilma
Ilma
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Novels by Ilma

The Demon King's Customer Service

The Demon King's Customer Service

Niran Tavio thought his days of dealing with angry Karens were over when he died. He was wrong. Reborn as the Head of Customer Service for the Demon King, Niran must navigate soul-binding contracts, predatory litigation, and an aggressive demon lawyer who wants him fired—or worse. When he discovers an ancient contract that puts the entire human race in default, Niran realizes that saving the world isn't a job for a hero; it's a job for a guy who knows how to handle a refund policy from Hell.
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Chapter: Chapter 10: The Terms of Termination
The silence that followed Niran’s question was heavy, thick with the smell of ozone and the weight of a thousand divine and infernal eyes. He stood in the center of the Hall of Universal Arbitration, a tiny speck of human persistence flanked by a fallen god and a literal star-being."How can I help you ruin your eternity further?" Niran repeated, his voice cutting through the stillness."You dare?" Duke Valerius’s voice was like a landslide of obsidian. He rose from his throne of bone, his gold chains rattling. "You stand before the High Council and the Host of the Empyrean, charged with the systematic destruction of the mana-shard economy, and you ask for a complaint?""Actually, Valerius, I’m charged with reporting a massive case of administrative neglect," Niran said, adjusting the obsidian-bone headset around his neck. "And judging by the screaming match I walked in on, the 'Host of the Empyrean' isn't exactly thrilled with your management style either.""He is correct, Prince of
Last Updated: 2026-09-06
Chapter: Chapter 9: The Whistleblower
Niran didn’t wait for the second knock. He didn’t even wait for the shadow under the door to move. He lunged for his black, obsidian-bone headset sitting on the nightstand, his fingers fumbling with the volume dial."What are you doing?" Malyssa hissed, her hands lighting up with a flickering purple glow. "We need to pack. We need to find a service tunnel, or a laundry chute, or whatever this hellhole uses to move trash.""I’m doing something better," Niran said, his voice tight. "I’m opening a ticket. A big one.""Niran, the CEO just tried to erase us! You can’t file a complaint against the guy who signs your spectral paycheck!""I’m not filing it with him." Niran slid the headset over his ears. The silver needle microphone pulsed with a faint, frantic light. "Malyssa, look at the bar. Is that terminal still active?"Malyssa glanced at a sleek, dark stone console tucked between the "Lethe Light" bottles and the "Eternal Agony" snacks. "It’s a guest services terminal. It’s for orderin
Last Updated: 2026-09-06
Chapter: Chapter 8: Management Retreat
The elevator doors hissed open with a jagged, metallic scrape, revealing the familiar obsidian-tiled lobby of the Inner Circle. Niran stepped out first, his legs feeling like overcooked noodles, clutching the golden parchment to his chest as if it were the last life jacket on a sinking ship."Check the hallway," Malyssa hissed from behind him, her violet eyes darting around the polished stone pillars. "If that Eraser followed us up here, we’re cornered. The security imps are useless against Void-Salt."Niran scanned the lobby. It was eerily quiet, save for the distant, rhythmic typing of a thousand skeletal clerks. "Looks clear. For now. But I’m pretty sure 'Quiet' is just Hell-speak for 'Incoming Disaster.'""You still have the Deed?"Niran patted his inner pocket. "Warm and glowing. It’s like carrying a sentient space heater. Where are we going? My office? Your office?""Neither," a smooth, baritone voice vibrated through the air.Lucifer was leaning against a reception desk, casual
Last Updated: 2026-09-06
Chapter: Chapter 7: The Golden Contract
Niran’s hand hovered centimeters away from the pulsing red wax. The heat radiating from the seal wasn't like a furnace; it was a rhythmic, heavy pressure, like the bass at a concert that vibrates through your teeth."Don’t do it, Niran," Malyssa whispered, her violet eyes wide with a genuine terror he hadn't seen before. "If you break a Morning Star seal, you aren't just breaking a lock. You’re declaring war on reality. This is literally the definition of 'unauthorized access' in the highest degree."Niran tilted his head, his thumb brushing the edge of the wax. "Malyssa, look at the dust. The soul-skimmers were literally trying to pick this lock with ghosts. If we don’t open it, they’ll eventually get through, and we won’t know what they found. It’s better to control the breach.""That is the most reckless 'Managerial Logic' I have ever heard! You’re going to get us unmade!""Hey, if we get unmade, at least I don't have to finish that audit you started," Niran quipped. He didn't wait
Last Updated: 2026-09-06
Chapter: Chapter 6: Internal Audit
"Are you planning on staying for dinner? Because I’m pretty sure the cafeteria only serves 'Despair Pot Pie' on Tuesdays, and trust me, it’s mostly just crust and crushed dreams."Niran didn’t look up from his monitor as he spoke. He could feel Malyssa’s presence behind him, a cold, sharp pressure that felt like having a sword pointed at the back of his neck."I am conducting a formal shadow-audit, Tavio," Malyssa replied, her voice crisp and entirely too close to his left ear. "That means I go where you go. I watch what you do. I breathe the same sulfur-choked air you breathe. Consider me your shadow, but with a law degree and significantly more spite.""Great. My own personal rain cloud in a suit," Niran muttered, clicking through a spreadsheet of soul-migration patterns. "Barnaby! Can we get a second chair in here? Preferably one that’s uncomfortable enough to encourage a quick exit?""On it, Boss!" Barnaby’s voice squeaked from behind a stack of folders. The little demon scurried
Last Updated: 2026-09-06
Chapter: Chapter 5: The War of the Refused Refund
The red light on Niran’s console didn’t just blink; it screamed with the frequency of a dying star. Outside his window, the jagged peaks of the Inner Circle were obscured by a sudden, unnatural fog of golden light—the holy residue of a crusade knocking on the front door."Barnaby, pack the 'Dispute Resolution' kit," Niran said, ripping the headset off his ears. "And find me a suit that doesn't smell like sulfur. I have a feeling I’m going to be doing a lot of walking.""But Boss! They have paladins! Real ones! With the glowing swords and the judgmental stares!" Barnaby shrieked, fumbling with a leather briefcase."I’ve dealt with the Better Business Bureau, Barnaby. A paladin is just a guy in a shiny suit who thinks his opinion is objective truth. I’ve been training for this my whole life."The office doors swung open, but this time they didn't explode. Malyssa—Vespera—stepped in, her expression even more pinched than usual. She was holding a scroll that looked suspiciously like a sub
Last Updated: 2026-09-06
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