“Mom, dad…. I’m sorry…. I’m sorry I’m not good enough…. I’m sorry I don’t have any powers. I… I should’ve been…”

I wanted to stop her. My hands almost reached out to tap her back, but I stopped myself from touching Hina. From my observations, this girl needed to let out her emotions… However, not like this. Hina blamed herself for her parent’s conditions, even though she didn’t do anything wrong. It was the portal’s fault, not hers. But I… What else could I do but watch Hina suffer alone? I wanted to be the brother that Hina needed, especially in this dire time. Even so, things weren’t supposed to be like that.

“It should’ve been me who’s lying on that bed…. I should’ve been the one wounded, not them…. I don’t want you to die… Please…. I don’t want you to die.”

Hina then turned her face towards me and asked, “Brother…. What are we going to do about the hospital… and the room? They won’t kick us out here, right? They will help us, right?”

It was a tough question to answer. I didn’t even know what to say in front of this wounded girl that had been crying for a few minutes. But instead of pulling her down, I nodded at Hina.

“Don’t worry…. We’ll pass this bridge. You don’t have to worry about a thing… I’m your big brother, after all.”

After witnessing such a terrible experience, nobody could blame Hina. She had suffered a lot throughout this day, like me. I lost my best friend, and I couldn’t protect him. And right now, I had this ability that could’ve safeguarded Hina’s parents. And yet, I still did nothing.

Hina continued weeping for the rest of the day while I stood there like a post and did absolutely nothing. I was unable to do anything. My hands wished to caress her, but I… I couldn’t. How could I when I had this weapon but remained useless against those monsters?

And the worst was Hina’s parents would be kicked out of this hospital if we didn’t do anything soon. Although I had already found a little money on my credit card, I saved and prolonged our stay inside the hospital for a week. However, it was still insufficient. Hina’s parents needed more than days. They needed months or so.

Eventually, evening came, and the moon waved at us from the window. Hina, who had been weeping for the past six hours, had already exhausted her tears. She finally fell asleep right beside her parents, using her mother’s hand as a pillow. I, who saw everything, placed a blanket on top of Hina’s body and finally patted her head.

“Hina…,” I whispered, but my tired step-sister was already asleep.

I didn’t want to wake her up. But I was just checking if Hina was awake, considering I planned on doing something stupid to save her parents. Or something stupid in general. My mind was lost, but I continued fighting for Hina. It was…. for Hina’s sake.

“Don’t worry, Hina. I’ll get some cash to pay for this hospital… I promise I….”

I couldn’t say. I couldn’t say the words that Hina would’ve wanted to hear. There was no way for me to promise such a heavy burden carried on my back. It was returning here to this room alive.

I would die and risk everything to pay for expenses for this hospital. I would climb mountains and travel the vast sea just to repay my debt for this loving family. However, that would only mean one thing.

‘I have to use this gun of mine as my weapon,’ I thought to myself, and stared at Hina’s sleeping body.

My parents died because of this weaponry. Someone with a mask killed my parents, together with the monster. He left me to live, despite having the chance to kill me. But the masked man didn’t. It was as if that guy deliberately watched me run away as far as I could and get my revenge.

My best friend, Midori, died because of my shortcomings and trauma. I was there with him. And yet, I couldn’t do anything to save the person I called my friend. Instead of saving him, Midori saved Hina and me. He traded lives for the sake of us running away.

I went outside the room and growled at myself. I blamed everything that had happened earlier. It was because of me and this stupid life I had that killed them. If there were a way to end it all, I would’ve…. I would’ve done it already.

And I planned to do it.

It was in the middle of the night. Even though we were inside the hospital, most people had already been sleeping in their rooms and offices. The nurse’s station and the doctors were taking a break inside their rooms, waiting for any calls coming from the patients. And the patients… They were in a bad spot as well. I doubted that some of them would even loiter around in this hallway without any particular reason.

I was alone in the dark. Hina was inside the room, still sleeping beside her parents. It was the perfect time to do it.

I summoned the gun that the system gifted me with and held the damned rifle. Within a moment, my appearance changed once again. But it didn’t matter. It was the same as before the first time I used this system. It was a powerful tool that could give me a rank in the adventurer’s build if I could use it. And instead of feeling giddy about the new power, my hands trembled in fear and… depression.

“I just want everything to end.”

Problems. Most people would find it as motivation, while others were an obstacle they needed to achieve. A few people would see these conflicts as fulfilling and needed for someone to grow. But I thought of it as a weakness. It was a weakness that I couldn’t overcome, even if I tried.

For the first time in my life, I could finally hold the gun and point it below my chin. And my fingers could feel the trigger. It would only take me one small force to pull the lever, and then I would die in peace. I would leave everything behind me and… rest. I wanted to meet my parents. There was no point in living in this cruel world, with the masked man running loose and the monsters devouring people.

I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. Was I calm? No. Regret came crashing down inside my head and became a train of thoughts that I couldn’t stop. I blamed myself for everything that had happened, just like Hina.

“I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die!”

Those were the words that escaped my mouth. However, my brain told me otherwise. There was nothing in this world worth living for after everything that I had…

“Brother….”

Hina saw through my deceits. She was awake this entire time and waited for me. That girl read me like a book and knew I would surrender everything, especially after what happened.

“I know that… Midori died trying to save us. It must’ve hurt you… More than it’s hurting me.”

“No… Hina, I…”

It was the truth. I should be the one weeping on the floor, blaming myself for everything. But here I was, trying to protect what was left of this family. I wasn’t even their legitimate or biological son, to begin with. Hina’s parents were just too kind and adopted me as their own.

“You were about to… leave us, weren’t you?”

I couldn’t give Hina an answer. It was what she had mentioned to me. And there was nothing else that I could do but sulk in my own pool of salty tears.

Hina took my silence as my answer, but refused to avert her gaze at me. Her eyes watched my every move. It was as if Hina was my guardian who refused to see the person she cared about the most suffer and fall. And when someone tumbled, the only thing that person could do was to get back up again.

“I… I also want to quit trying. When you entered my life, I… My parents have been comparing the two of us. I didn’t hate you for it. I hate myself. But things have become different, you know? You’re good at this, while I’m bad at it. I’m good with this, you’re… You get the point, right, brother?”

Hina kept calling me brother for some reason. I didn’t dislike it. Heck, I couldn’t even hide my smile after hearing that word a couple of times.

“I get it….” I answered in a raspy and saddened voice.

“But the thing is… I don’t want to lose you either…. You told me earlier, right? Hina cried, and went towards my chest.” You told me you would do everything you could for our family. You told me you would never leave my side… If there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s… the fact you never gave up on doing what was best for our family…”

She rested her head and wept a lake of tears. Hina didn’t form a pool, compared to the last time she cried. But she was still snivelling on my breast, covering herself from my gaze.

“You promised to help my parents… I know it’s been tough for you to live inside that house… But I need to be selfish… Brother… Please save my parents… I don’t know what I would do without them.”

It was what I had thought a while ago. Hina heard everything I said when I thought she was sleeping and used it against me for this conversation. I wasn’t mad. I was thankful for Hina’s courage in standing up for her parents. Not everyone would have the guts to be honest with themselves, especially when they needed to.

I wasn’t someone special. I was just a guy who lost his parents and earned a curse, not a gift, from a system. Even so, Hina entrusted me with this responsibility. And as her brother, I would do everything to protect this family. It was the only thing I had…. It was the only thing Hina had.

We were two peas in a pond.

“I’ve been relying on you and your family for everything… The expenses, the food, shelter… everything. This time, let me help you, Hina… I’m your brother, after all,” I uttered, and wrapped my hands around Hina’s quivering body. “I’m sorry, Hina… For trying to end things like this. I promise to value my life to protect you… I promise.”

“Thank you, brother…. Thank you.”