As he was thrown off his feet, the would-be-thief thought maybe he had made a rather poor choice. He didn’t mean for their prank to get out of hand. This was just what he and his friends did; find chances to have a laugh at other’s expense. These laughs were harmless, or so he thought; something to look forward to in an otherwise dull, and sometimes terrifying world. Rarely did their pranks have any real consequences.

Today, the consequences were quite real—and fast.

CLUNK

Thrown off his feet, the goon barreled over as the gym bag flew from his grip. He tumbled into a patch of sidewalk hidden beneath the shadow of a dreary-looking apartment, shaking. The sidewalk was cool on his cheeks; suddenly he felt an overwhelming urge to have a nap. If he laid there quietly, perhaps all of his bad decisions that day would go away by themselves.

Victorious, Devon picked up his bag and headed back towards the bus stop. No sooner did he turn around that he saw his other assailant, Jaxton fumbling with his phone.

“OK, this man assaulted me and my friends,” Jaxton said, putting on a pathetic and sniveling expression. “Everyone look at this assaulter. Get him on camera.”

Devon couldn’t help but laugh. The whole thing was ridiculous and only getting worse. He shook his head and kept on walking to the bus.

At seeing his reaction, Jaxton’s eyes flashed. He bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

“What’s so fuckin’ funny, feather-hat?”

“Dude… assaulter?” Devon tried and failed to surprise a smile.

“Cause you fucking did it!” snarled Jaxton.

Devon maintained his smile, shaking his head. This whole incident was near fermenting with idiocy and was getting above Devon’s pay grade, as the saying goes. “You’re saying I assaulted you? Bro, you tried to grab my hat and your buddy over there stole my bag!”

“No, we didn’t!” Jaxton said breathlessly. “We didn’t—stop lying. More lies—” Jaxton was panting from the sheer force of adrenaline pumping through his veins. “—more lies from feather-hat, everyone!”

“The hell is wrong with you? Yes, you did! I heard you, you stupid-ass!” Devon said.

Jaxton shoved his phone in Devon’s face. Devon swatted it away. “See, everyone?” Jaxton snarled. “Did you see what he just did? More assault. More lies and assault from feather-hat. Get a look at his face! Get a good look… the assaulter and the liarist, everyone! Let’s get his name out there! #FeatherHat!”

Liarist? Where did these kids go to school? Not that Devon went to a particularly great school growing up, but he would have gotten his ass kicked for using a word like ‘liarist’. Kids these days…

…except Devon was only 22. That thought gave Devon a pause. There was something wrong about feeling so old at such a young age. Devon couldn’t be much older than the young man posturing and preening and shoving his phone in Devon’s face, all of which Devon wouldn’t have dreamed of doing. What happened to the world that brought such a gap between them?

Devon decided the best thing to do was to ignore them.

He marched back towards the bus stop with his bag while Jaxton followed, flitting around him like a summer fly, getting him on camera at all angles. A few people across the street also had their phones out, recording no doubt. Devon seethed. At that moment it seemed the entire world would not leave him alone and let him wear his own goddamn hat.

Meanwhile, Jaxton became ever more frantic in his attempts to get a reaction out of Devon, hurling insults in all kinds of nasty flavors.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” Devon snapped.

“No. Fucking make me, you stupid feather-hat wearing fuck. We were just messing around and you had to make it an escalation.”

Devon’s eyes widened.

“Oh, you were messing around?”

“—and you went and assaulted us!”

Devon laughed. “So you admit it, you were messing with me. You just admitted on camera, it was you who started this.”

Jaxton’s eyes widened. There was a beat of infuriated silence.

“No. That’s not what I—I didn’t say that! Don’t fucking gaslight me!”

This had gone on long enough. Devon turned around, spreading his arms in aggressive frustration. Jaxton recoiled as Devon shouted. “Gaslight? Bro, I’m waiting for a fucking bus! The hell do you want from me? Go back to school or something— stop acting like a fuckin’ goon.”

Off in the distance came the soft rumbling of bus wheels. Devon closed his eyes and prayed:

Please, please let it be the 712. Please get me out of here. I just wanna go to the Convention and be done with this crazy goon.

As Devon was waiting, one of Jaxton’s friends came over and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Yo, Jaxton, just let it go man, let’s go check on Kaier, he’s still laying on the sidewalk. I think he’s got a concussion or somethin’”

Jaxton snapped his friend’s hand away. Adrenaline laced sweat dripped off Jaxton’s face and soaked into his shirt until the young man was stinking with hormone-laced aggression. “Don’t fucking touch me, Steve, I swear to god.

Steve pulled his hand back. “Bro, relax, you’re tilting hard right now!”

“And don’t fucking tell me to relax! Nobody asked your opinion, grandpa… you and your old-man-name, fuck you!”

Steve put his hands up. “Hey man, you know how I feel about my name. You don’t gotta throw insults at me like that. "

Jaxton screwed his face and voice into a mockery of a toothless old man, holding up a shaking, arthritic finger for effect as he wheezed:“Oh me, oh my, you don’t need to throw insults young man, my name is Steven, I was born long ago in 2002… shut up!” Jaxton’s face snapped back to its original shape and voice with rather impressive speed.“I’m not tilting, and if I am, it’s all ‘cause of fucking feather-hat over th—Hey! Don’t you fucking walk away from me, feather-hat! You think you can just walk away after assaulting a student—HEY GET BACK HERE, I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU, YOU FEATHER-HAT-WEARING FUCK!”