What kind of pain could one person endure?

Physical pain could be given a set of scales for one's endurance. People may tend to endure a simple scrape or a simple dislocation. But in severe cases, especially when the pain is located in the heart or brain, they tend to exceed the amount of tolerance a human body can endure and could result in death.

But the kind of pain that no physical pain could ever surpass is the pain felt by the heart and soul.

For years of neurology practice, the only pain that Dr. John Percy Morgan could not heal was the pain of the spirit. He could cure brain traumas and all that connect to the central nervous system. But this certain pain was inevitable. It was something he couldn't control. His knowledge of medicine wasn't enough for this kind of pain. It was unbearable.

The pain that glistened in his patients' eyes could never be healed by someone like him. The pain of being abandoned in this world...

He could hear the prolonged beeping sound of the monitor. He rested both of his hands on his side while perspiring greatly in front of his resident neurosurgeons. All of them went into shock. Their eyes became reddish staring blankly at the monitor.

He heard sharply uneven breathing beside him. It was from Dr. Patt, one of the resident doctors in their department.

Surely, they all expected this to happen. They all did.

The unmoving body of a female patient was lying on the operating table. Her skull was opened neatly to remove a bullet which they did successfully. However, she took her last breath about 3 minutes ago. They just performed enough resuscitation. They even shocked her heart enough to survive the cardiac arrest, but her pulse had already given up. No brain activity. Nothing at all.

After declaring her death, John Percy came out of the operating room with a long face and scrubs on. He faced the guardian of the patient and helplessly lowered his head in disappointment. "We've done everything we could," he uttered in a low voice. "I'm so sorry..."

Then, the mother of the patient scrambled and cried on the floor. A lady a bit younger than the patient assisted her. It must be the patient's sister. It was heartbreaking to watch them. He, as much as they do, really wanted to save the patient but it was too late.

He left them miserably after giving them the time to grieve their loss. He came back to the department office and stayed on his chair. He just sighed and stared blankly once more. There was so much more he could've done that time. If only the hospital had given them enough machines and equipment to help the patients, they would've saved a lot by now. But those endless requests were always denied since this department wasn't too popular with most Kansans.

He had been serving OB Medical Center for 10 years since his residency and became an associate professor 2 years ago. However, he was not promoted as an official professor no matter how he aced his performance. He was always on top. People in the Medical field, especially in Kansas, knew about his batch year. He was always leading and a top performer in almost all surgeries even during his residency. People would think that he was so full of himself that John  Percy was only focused on his performance. The only thing that he had was his career drive.

There was only one thing to explain that. Being John Percy Morgan wasn't easy at all. Basically, no one knew who he is. They just know him by his name. But behind this set of upturned deep-set parallel gray eyes behind glasses were a ton of secrets he should keep to himself.

He is married to an O'Brien, the daughter of the OB Medical Center owner, Clarisse O'Brien. They were 8 years married but ever since their wedding day, she never slept with him on their bed. Well, he was the one who didn't have a chance to sleep on their bed. He was told to sleep in one of the guest rooms in their house. They had their own house that was a gift from Clarisse's father, Mr. Robin O'Brien, the CEO of OB Medical Group.

Ever since he married Robin's daughter, John Percy was told not to disclose his relationship to them. No one in the hospital, not even the people in their department, knew about him and Clarisse. This alone frustrated him, not just the lack of support from the higher-ups in their department but the fact that he was being kept like a pet inside a cage. He couldn't tell anyone about this because he would ruin the O'Briens' image. It was plain and simple. They didn't want anyone to know that their daughter married a geek.

John Percy is a 35-year-old surgeon who had glasses on and couldn't even wear at least a signature and branded suit on dates. He was just simply a nobody in their eyes. An outcast.

Clarisse and he couldn't get a hold of each other. She treated him like a stranger in front of others. He wanted to feel disappointed every time it happened but he shrugged it off when he was reminded that he should keep his marriage confidential. It was for her sake. For her family's sake.

For him, this was the kind of pain that he couldn't heal. The pain of being left out.

He was stunned after the door of the department slammed against the table's corner. Then, the Neurosurgeon Professor Dr. Anthony Washington came in with his violent facial expression. He set his eyes upon John Percy and sent darts in his direction.

"You son of a bitch!" He pointed his finger at him and walked closer until he reached him.

John Percy hurried and bowed his head as his heart started to boom inside his chest.

"You retard! Why did you operate on her? How many times have I told you not to operate when you know it's risky? What the fuck is wrong with you, Morgan?" he yelled as his eyes and cheeks bulged and reddened in anger. "How are we supposed to face the parents? They will put the blame on our department, you fuckhead!" He slapped John Percy on the cheek.

He felt prickly pain rising on his skin on the part Anthony hit but John Percy just stayed still. He lowered his head even more. "I-I'm so sorry, Professor. They're from Topeka. We were the last hospital they went to. Unfortunately, they've asked 3 hospitals nearby but no one had an available neurosurgeon at the moment. OB Medical Hospital is the only hospital that has experienced doctors in our department. We only have a few residents on us, so we don't have any choice but to accept her. We conducted enough examinations before I decided to operate on her. It was me who requested that, Professor!" he explained it thoroughly to him.

It was true that the patient wasn't accepted in 3 prior hospitals they tried to ask for help. But OB Medical was the only one that has experienced neurosurgeons. The patient was suffering from a gunshot in her head near the right hemisphere. According to the X-Ray result, the bullet has reached her parietal lobe. She already lost a lot of blood at that time but looking at the hope inside the eyes of the patient's guardian, John Percy couldn't lose it. That was why he made that call.

"Do you think you can do everything you want around here, Morgan?" The professor gritted his teeth while he moved his head and chest closer to John Percy. "You think you have the equal right just like me? Think again! You know that we don't have enough equipment to do the job. You should've thought about our reputation, you fuckhead!"

John Percy bowed his head miserably in front of him. "I-I'm so sorry, Professor. But I don't think I can refuse a patient who is in need. I took an oath in the name of medical practice that I would never turn my back on them."

He sarcastically laughed. "Are you a fucking patriot, Morgan? That doesn't work that way! We need to save our asses. That's what this is about!" he reiterated. "Quit that shit and stop lecturing me about your oath as if you're the only one who took it. We need to get things straight. You don't have a say on this part. When I say we refuse fucking patients with high risks, you do it, okay? I already told you, no one will try to save them unless you're the son-in-law of the O'Briens! You hear me? Fuck off!" Dr. Washington dashed out of the department office and left him dumbfounded.

John Percy smiled bitterly at that. "But I am their son-in-law..." he whispered to himself while facing the ground. "I am..." He facepalmed and sighed roughly.

If only the professor knew about his secret...

He had tried so hard to gain the approval of his in-laws. This wasn't the first time that John Percy begged for their budget to buy new equipment for Neurosurgery Department but he failed.

His father-in-law would always say to him: "Quit involving yourself with the management, John..." Those were Mr. Robin O'Brien's words to him the last time he asked for his help regarding Neurosurgery Department.

He creased his forehead in confusion. "B-but why? Neurosurgery Department is also performing well in OB Medical, Dad. We should at least buy the requested equipment. It is important for our department," he reasoned.

"Just leave it to them, John. Can you?" Mr. Robin boringly said to him. He leaned against the couch and then pointed at the door. "The security will see you out. Make sure to cover your face. Understood?" he instructed him.

He just nodded helplessly at him. "Y-yes, Dad..." He exited his office while one of his security personnel gave him a black cap and an oversized thick jacket to cover his face and uniform.

He smiled wryly while walking away.

When could they treat him better? When could they treat him like their son-in-law?