3 Feet Tall but I’m the Dragon God

Chapter 9- The clumsy trip and the soy milk

The morning sun did nothing to brighten the suffocating, toxic atmosphere inside the Su family villa. In fact, the screaming had started before the sun even came up.

"Ten million! The Zhao family is demanding ten million in medical fees for Master Tie’s leg, and they’re threatening to call in all of the Su Group’s loans!" Madam Su shrieked, pacing the living room floor like a caged, hysterical hen. She spun around, pointing a trembling, manicured finger at Lin Fan, who was quietly sitting at the kitchen island, trying to enjoy a piece of plain toast. "And that’s not even the worst part! Master Tie’s master, the famous Iron Palm Grandmaster Elder Kuang, is coming to the Su Group headquarters at noon! If we don’t hand you over, he’s going to cripple all of us!"

Lin Fan slowly chewed his toast, swallowed, and took a sip of his cheap soy milk. "Hand me over? Mother Su, I’m starting to think you don’t actually like me."

"Shut up, you useless freak!" Su Hao yelled from the couch, where he was icing his previously broken hand. "If you were a normal, weak dwarf, you’d be dead in a morgue right now, and we wouldn’t have to pay a dime! You just had to show off and break his leg! You ruined us!"

Su Qing sat at the dining table, her head in her hands. She looked exhausted, but her eyes kept darting to Lin Fan. *He caught a seven-foot man’s kick with one hand,* she thought, her mind racing. *He didn't even use a stance. He just... caught it. And then he healed Hao’s hand in a second. Who is this man?*

But when she looked at her mother and brother literally plotting to tie her husband up and hand him to a martial arts master to be crippled, a wave of disgust washed over her. "Mother, stop it," Su Qing said, her voice cold. "We are not handing Lin Fan over to be mutilated. I’ll go to the bank and beg for an extension on the loans."

"Beg? You want me to beg because of this little monster?" Madam Su gasped, clutching her chest. "Fine! If you won't do it, I will! When Elder Kuang gets here, we’ll just tell him the dwarf acted alone! We’ll lock him in the basement and let the Grandmaster deal with him!"

Lin Fan just sighed, brushing some toast crumbs off his lap. "You know, Qing'er, I really think it’s time we reconsidered this whole 'family' concept."

***

By noon, the lobby of the Su Group headquarters was packed with terrified employees. The glass doors shattered inward as Elder Kuang marched in. He was an old man, but built like a fire hydrant, with hands as thick and calloused as tree bark. He was flanked by a dozen disciples, all glaring murderous holes into the staff.

Su Qing, Madam Su, and Su Hao were waiting in the main conference room, with Lin Fan standing quietly in the corner.

"Where is the little rat?!" Elder Kuang bellowed, his voice shaking the glass walls. "My disciple’s leg was shattered by a three-foot-four freak! Bring him out, or I’ll tear this building down brick by brick!"

Madam Su didn’t even hesitate. She grabbed Lin Fan by the collar of his cheap shirt and literally shoved him forward, stumbling into the center of the room. "Here! Here he is, Grandmaster Kuang! He’s the one! He attacked your disciple unprovoked! We had nothing to do with it!"

Lin Fan stumbled, catching his balance, and looked at his mother-in-law with an expression of pure, unadulterated disappointment. "Wow. You didn't even try to make it look convincing."

Elder Kuang looked down at the dwarf, his face twisting into a cruel, sadistic grin. "So, you’re the little insect who broke my disciple’s leg. You have a lot of nerve for someone I can crush with two fingers. Kneel, break your own kneecaps, and crawl out of Jiang City. If you do, I might just let your tall, pretty wife keep her company."

Su Qing’s face went pale. "Grandmaster, please! We can pay—"

"I don't want your money, I want his bones!" Elder Kuang roared, stepping forward and raising his massive, iron-hard palm, aiming directly for the top of Lin Fan’s head to crush his skull.

Lin Fan didn’t dodge. He just casually reached into his pocket, pulled out his thermos of hot tea, and pretended to fumble it.

"Oops," Lin Fan mumbled.

The thermos slipped from his small hands, spilling boiling hot tea directly onto Elder Kuang’s expensive leather shoes.

"Argh! You little brat!" Elder Kuang shrieked, instinctively looking down at his feet.

Because Lin Fan was "panicking," he took a clumsy step forward to "catch" the thermos, but his foot "accidentally" hooked behind Elder Kuang’s ankle. At the exact same millisecond, Lin Fan’s shoulder "accidentally" bumped into the old man’s chest, channeling a microscopic, razor-sharp thread of Asura energy directly into the Grandmaster’s meridian points.

Elder Kuang’s eyes bulged. His leg gave out completely, and his chest seized up as his internal energy violently reversed. He fell backward, his head slamming into the edge of the heavy mahogany conference table with a sickening *CRACK*.

He hit the floor, twitching, completely paralyzed from the neck down, drooling onto the carpet.

The disciples froze in absolute horror. The Su family stood in stunned silence.

Then, Madam Su let out a blood-curdling scream. "You clumsy, stupid idiot! You killed him! You paralyzied him! Now his disciples are going to slaughter us all!"

Su Hao grabbed a heavy glass ashtray, looking ready to smash it over Lin Fan’s head. "I told you to just let him hit you! Why do you always have to ruin everything?!"

Lin Fan just calmly picked up his thermos, screwed the cap back on, and looked at his screaming family. "I tripped. It was an accident. Honestly, you people are impossible to please."

***

While the Su family was busy having a meltdown in their office, Su Hao was busy having a meltdown of his own. Terrified that the Zhao family was going to ruin him, he had sneaked out of the office and headed straight for the "Black Lotus Casino," the most notorious underground gambling den in Jiang City, hoping to borrow some dirty money.

By 8:00 PM, Su Hao was completely, blackout drunk again. He had lost the last of his cash at the baccarat table and was stumbling through the VIP lounge, looking for someone to scam.

The VIP lounge was unusually crowded, but everyone was giving a wide berth to the center booth. Sitting in the massive, leather boss’s chair was a towering, seven-foot-tall figure wearing a terrifying iron mask and a dark, flowing robe. It was the "Supreme Dragon God," the underworld king who had been terrorizing the city’s gangs all week. Flanking him were two massive bodyguards.

Su Hao, blinded by alcohol and his own arrogant stupidity, stumbled right past the velvet rope and into the VIP area.

"Hey! Barkeep!" Su Hao slurred loudly, slamming his hand on the table right next to the iron-masked giant. "Bring me another bottle of Macallan! And make it quick, or I’ll have my brother-in-law beat you up! He’s a martial arts master, you know!"

The entire lounge went dead silent. The bodyguards slowly turned, their hands dropping to the hilts of their knives.

The iron-masked giant didn’t move. He just sat there, staring at Su Hao.

Su Hao, completely oblivious to the fact that he was one second away from being turned into mincemeat, leaned in closer, squinting at the giant. "What are you looking at, metal-face? You think you’re tough?"

But as Su Hao leaned in, his drunk brain suddenly snagged on something.

The "Supreme Dragon God," the terrifying underworld king, wasn’t drinking whiskey. He wasn’t drinking wine. He was holding a small, rectangular carton of cheap, generic-brand soy milk, sipping it through a little yellow straw.

And as the giant sat there, his massive, gloved right hand was resting on the table, his index finger tapping against the leather in a very specific, annoying, rhythmic pattern. *Tap-tap... pause... tap.*

Su Hao’s bloodshot eyes widened. He blinked, rubbing his eyes, and looked again.

*Tap-tap... pause... tap.*

It was the exact same annoying habit Lin Fan did when he was watching those stupid cartoon shows on the couch.

Su Hao’s jaw dropped. He looked at the soy milk. He looked at the tapping finger. He looked at the giant’s massive shoulders, and then his drunk, addled brain made a massive, impossible leap of logic.

"Wait a minute," Su Hao slurred, pointing a wobbly, accusatory finger at the terrifying underworld king. "You... you drink soy milk. And you tap your finger. Just like the dwarf. Are... are you the dwarf in a robot suit?!"

The iron-masked giant slowly lowered his soy milk. The voice modulator in the mask clicked on, emitting a deep, demonic, earth-shaking rumble.

"Su Hao," the decoy growled, the voice vibrating the glasses on the table. "Your brother-in-law sends his regards. And he says you owe him two million dollars."

Su Hao’s knees instantly gave out, and he collapsed onto the carpet, his drunkenness evaporating into pure, terror.