2022-02-24 18:37:44The reality of being reborn kind of sucked.
I thought 'being reborn' meant that I would just, you know, 'pop' into the world like I had been, like a great many isekai-ed men, and women, were before me.
But no, I'm a real, literal, baby.
My parents, my family, my appearance, why, even my name have all changed.Cyrus is Asher now, which I thought was a cool name.
Lying in my crib, being swayed side to side I thought there should have been another person here, but who?Oh yeah, short and grumpy Faye.
Where even is she?
She did hop, or rather, float, into the portal with me.
As a baby I can't even call her.
Screaming is a clever trick and one of the few things I can do as a baby, so I'll give that a try.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"
There was a strange feeling circulating throughout my head.
[Skill [Voice LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Voice LVL. 1] -> [Voice LVL. 2]]
[Skill [Screaming LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Screaming LVL. 1] -> [Screaming LVL. 2]][Skill [Speech LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Speech LVL. 1] -> [Speech LVL. 2]]Leveling up feels nice actually. Warm and fuzzy.
But the system's voice seems familiar...
Wait a Minute! THAT'S FAYE!
‘Faye, hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Are you in my brain? Testing, one, two. Earth to Faye, are you there?
HELLO?!’
"I can attest that I am present and able to hear you. Please stop talking immediately."
She's in a sour mood, ain't she?
As I looked around, physically at least, she wasn't anywhere close to me.
Does she have telepathy and is chilling in the heavenly realm? Or is she in my head? Who knows, maybe I guessed right and it's something along those lines.‘Hey Faye, how do you like my baby self? Pretty cute, eh?’
“Not in the slightest.”
‘Ouch.
Why are you so mean? Not my fault you're here.’
“Actually, it is.”
Well... technically, maybe.
[Skill [Truth LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Truth LVL. 1] -> [Truth LVL. 2]]
‘So, what's up with these skills?’
"It is like you wished from Lady Alexandra."
‘An video-game world, got it, and you're my system?
Just my luck...So, what do you do, except be a party pooper?’
"I'm here as a replacement for the user interface and can provide information upon anything you want."
‘Like appraisal in other isekai? That’s funny. Hah, you have been demoted to a skill.
So, did I get something cool or unique? Have I been born to family with a legendary bloodline? A special skill? Am I a freak of nature and can use my abnormal status to conquer the world?’
"No. You are a perfectly normal human with only human ancestors. Your birth parents are very modest shepherds in the kingdom of Kathe. In addition, you have also received a unique skill at birth, as everyone in this world has."
‘Oh, goodie. What did I get?’
"Buff X"
‘What does it do?’
"[Buff X]
Upon using this skill, the next spell deemed a buff will be increased in strength and length for approximately 10% of the buff's strength and duration.This effect has a one-day cooldown period."...
‘This absolutely stinks, and I'm kind of speechless.
Is it possible for me to call Alexandra and get a refund?’
"Do not dare insult the Goddess."
‘Yeah, yeah. Relax, lady, I'm just coping here.
Hey, can you use those information skills on me?’
-
[Asher Burell]-[LVL. 01 Human Infant]-[[HP 2/2 │ MP 1/1 │ SP 2/2]]-[[STR 1] [CON 1] [DEF 1] [INT 9] [WIS 9] [CHA 13] [DEX 1] [LCK 10] [VER 1]]-[[Buff X][Body Skills] [Mental Skills]] -"At this time, you lack any specific abilities, spells, buffs, or de-buffs. I would show them if you had them.”1’s in most, makes sense I’m a baby but if 10 is average… and I have a 9 in INT…
Does that mean I’m kind of stupid?Damn, that realization hurts.
I guess Body and Mental skills where stuff like my physique and mental status are. Like a moment before when I screamed and level up [Voice] that’s a physical skill, meaning it should be in [Body Skills].
Man, all my stats are so low. I gotta go and grind a shit ton like Kumoko did.
At least I’m safe and sound here in a warm and cozy home and not a spider trying to survive getting eaten by my own mother.
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
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