Hijacking the Three Kingdoms with My System

Chapter 13: The Cowards' Feast and the Red-Robed Ambition

That night, the smoldering ruins of Luoyang were transformed into the stage for the most sickening comedy in the history of China.

Amidst thousands of charred civilian corpses and buildings reduced to charcoal, the nobles of the Eighteen Warlords Coalition erected giant silk tents. They celebrated Dong Zhuo’s retreat as if it were their own hard-earned victory. The sound of zithers, the clinking of golden goblets, and the drunken laughter of generals echoed loudly, drowning out the groans of the dying in the city's ruined corners.

Outside the main tent, Liu Bei stood frozen. The firelight reflected on his hardened face. He gripped the hilts of his twin swords so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“A feast… they’re feasting on the grave of the Han Dynasty,” Liu Bei hissed, his voice trembling with a barely contained rage. “Cao Cao was right. They are all cowards who care only for their own stomachs and wealth! Not a single one of them cares about the Emperor’s safety!”

Liu Bei spun around sharply, looking at Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, who stood behind him with equally dark expressions. “Second Brother, Third Brother! Ready our troops! If Cao Cao has the guts to chase Dong Zhuo alone with his army, then we will do the same tonight!”

“SIR, YES SIR!” Zhang Fei immediately slammed the butt of his Serpent Spear into the ground with gusto. “I’m sick of looking at the faces of those spoiled nobles in there. Let me put my spear through Lu Bu’s back one more time!”

“Hold on.”

A cool, flat voice cut through their enthusiasm. Jo Fan, who had been sitting on a broken, dragon-carved stone pillar, hopped down. He was chewing on the last of a hard biscuit, his face showing no trace of heroic emotion.

“What are we waiting for, Master Jo?!” Liu Bei snapped, his eyes flashing. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at his advisor. “The Emperor is being dragged to Chang'an! Every second we stay here, we betray our oath to the state!”

“Boss, take a seat,” Jo Fan said quietly, but his tone held absolute authority.

“I cannot sit while…”

“I SAID SIT DOWN, BOSS!” Jo Fan yelled back, his voice even louder, making the three of them flinch. Jo Fan stepped forward, pointing directly at Liu Bei’s chest. “You think Cao Cao is some kind of hero because he’s charging in alone?! He’s walking straight to the gallows!”

“My brother’s intentions are noble! Watch your mouth, Advisor!” Guan Yu growled, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

Jo Fan didn’t back down. He knew if he didn’t control Liu Bei’s knightly ego tonight, they would all die a pointless death at the hands of history.

“Noble intentions can’t block a rain of arrows, General Guan,” Jo Fan retorted sharply. He turned back to Liu Bei with an intimidating stare. “Use your head, Boss. We only have three thousand men. Most of them are wearing straw sandals, their weapons are rusted, and the last time they had a full meal was yesterday. You want to pit them against Dong Zhuo’s tens of thousands of elite Xiliang cavalry?!”

Liu Bei fell silent. His breathing was heavy. “But… we can’t just stand by like the dogs in that tent.”

“Who said we’re standing by?” Jo Fan smirked, his cunning aura beginning to surface. “We’re still moving out tonight. But we’re not going to fight a head-on battle like that suicidal idiot Cao Cao. We’re going to use the ‘Elite Scavenger’ strategy.”

“Scavenger? Are you comparing us to street beggars?!” Zhang Fei glared, not taking it well.

“Just listen to me, Master Zhang!” Jo Fan massaged his throbbing temples. “Cao Cao brought his elite cavalry. Let him be the one to crash into Dong Zhuo’s wall of defense. Let him be the one to trigger the enemy’s traps. We’ll follow behind him, secretly, far outside the enemy’s radar.”

Jo Fan picked up a piece of charcoal from the fire and drew a line on a stone.

“When Cao Cao’s and Dong Zhuo’s armies are slaughtering each other, what’s left behind? Corpses. Good weapons. Warhorses without masters. We pick it all up. And if… if Cao Cao suffers a crushing defeat and is on the verge of death, we show up at the last second to save his life.”

Jo Fan threw the charcoal aside and looked Liu Bei straight in the eye. “Boss, you want to save the country, right? You can’t save anyone if you die tonight. This way, our soldiers are safe, our supplies increase from what we scavenge, and Cao Cao… that devilish genius will owe you his life. How about it?”

A moral conflict raged in Liu Bei’s eyes. The knightly idealism within him screamed in protest against this cunning, opportunistic tactic. This was not how a true man fought. But when Liu Bei looked over at his soldiers’ tents and saw young men in tattered clothes sleeping against their dull spears, his ego slowly crumbled.

Jo Fan was right. Sacrificing the lives of his weak soldiers for the sake of a hero’s pride was the greatest selfishness of a leader.

Liu Bei closed his eyes, letting out a sigh that sounded like a groan of defeat. His hand released its grip on his sword hilt.

“You are right, Master Jo,” Liu Bei whispered, his voice hoarse. “Benevolence without power is just empty talk. Arrange our movements. We will become Cao Cao’s shadow.”

Jo Fan smiled, satisfied. “Smart choice, Boss.”

A day’s journey passed.

Liu Bei’s small force moved like ghosts. They avoided the main roads, cutting through forests and hills, constantly following the hoofprints of Cao Cao’s cavalry, which were clearly stamped into the muddy ground. No banners were raised. No drums were beaten.

As dusk approached, the air grew colder. A thin fog began to descend, blanketing the trees.

Jo Fan sat slumped in his saddle like a shrimp. His spine felt like it was about to snap. Hours of riding a horse without shock absorbers was pure torture for his 21st-century physique. His eyes were red from lack of sleep, and his head felt as heavy as a bowling ball.

I’m going to die on my feet if this keeps up, Jo Fan mumbled, rubbing his face. System! Open the Black Market. I need caffeine. High dose. Now.

A transparent blue screen, visible only to him, appeared in front of his face.

[Transaction Successful.]

[Item Purchased: Espresso Sachet (Double Shot). Price: 10 Sanity Points.]

[Description: Black, strong, and bitter. Just like your current reality.]

Screw you, Jo Fan cursed inwardly.

A small light glowed in his hand, materializing a small aluminum foil sachet and a clay cup of warm water. Jo Fan ripped open the sachet, poured the dark powder into the water, stirred it with his index finger, and then downed it in one gulp.

“Ugh! So bitter!” Jo Fan stuck out his tongue, his face contorting from the taste of the sugarless coffee extract.

But the effect was instantaneous. His heart began to beat faster. The sleepiness hanging on his eyelids shattered, replaced by a sharp awareness. His brain was firing on all cylinders again.

“System, display a topographic map based on the cavalry tracks ahead,” Jo Fan commanded.

The screen before his eyes transformed into a 3D map in neon green. A dashed red line showed the route Cao Cao had just taken a few hours ago. The line was straight, rushed, and… heading directly into a narrow basin flanked by steep cliffs.

Jo Fan’s eyes widened when he saw the location name displayed on the system map.

Bian River (Xingyang).

“The Bian River Valley…” Jo Fan hissed.

He remembered a passage from a history book he’d read before dropping out. This wasn’t just a place name. It was the site of a massacre. This was where Cao Cao’s ambitions were crushed by Dong Zhuo’s veteran general, Xu Rong.

The red line on his system map was suddenly surrounded by dozens of pulsating, deep-red dots on the clifftops. Ambush positions.

“Stop!” Jo Fan shouted suddenly, yanking his horse’s reins so hard it neighed.

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei immediately approached.

“What is it, Advisor?” Guan Yu asked warily, his hand instinctively going to the hilt of his guandao.

Jo Fan stared straight into the thick fog ahead, his face covered in a cold sweat from the mix of caffeine and adrenaline.

“That guy in the red robe isn’t chasing Dong Zhuo anymore, Boss,” Jo Fan said softly, his voice trembling with horror. “He just walked right into his own coffin. We’ve arrived at the hell of Bian River.”