I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch21 - Art Critic

The rest of their journey through the subway system is largely uneventful. Jonathan merrily amuses himself, Lucas is awkwardly trying to make heads and tails of recent events, and the physical manifestation of chemically enhanced depression continues his noisy slumber.

Disembarking at the station that Lucas is pretty sure is closest to MF Fashion Boutique, the adventures of unemployment man continues on the journey alone. Someone that was going to enter that particular train car heard him from outside the door and simply went elsewhere.

As Lucas looks around the area he can't help but comment.

"Oh, by comparison, this platform is lacking in both art and aroma. Truly a pity."

"R-rather than lacking, I'd call it an improvement. Um, d-do you know the way or..?" Jonathan can't help but wrinkle his nose with distaste when giving his response. After speaking, he glances in Lucas's direction and waits for him to lead the way.

"Eh, it's probably hard to miss. I have a vague idea of where it is. I think." Shrugging while he speaks, Lucas starts the journey up to the surface. Jonathan sighs softly and shakes his head, still smiling slightly through the process, eventually following after him.

'Oh 427, my trusty GPS~!'

[...I had a feeling you were going to ask. Yes, you're going the right way. It's mostly a straight path in this direction, I'll let you know when you need to adjust your route.]

'Hells yeah. Just don't suddenly tell me to make a sharp left turn into a wall and say recalculating.'

[..? Excuse me?]

'Ah, never mind. Wouldn't be anywhere near as funny if I explained it.'

[...Okay. I'll assume it's a reference to your original world.]

Lucas gives a hum of acknowledgment, being rewarded with a confused look from Jonathan. Not that Lucas has eyes on the back of his head to notice. Only some smeared paint remnants.

Even in the center of the city, some distance away from where Lucas is used to roaming, things are more or less the same. A parade of vehicles, largely comprised of taxis, a cacophony of noise from human civilization, and the same crowds of indifferent people. Stuffing his hands into his artistically enhanced hoodie's pockets, Lucas takes in the local cultural displays created predominantly by disillusioned youths.

'Hmm, their color theory is lacking. Maybe the kid I interrupted was more capable than most, he at least carried a better pallet. Woah, that's a huge dick. He was definitely compensating for something.'

[...Everyone's a critic.]

Lucas smiles and chuckles, at this point Jonathan has enough evidence to really suspect Lucas is insane. Oh well, at least he's nice to him... In a roundabout way... Sorta.

[Oh, new area, same events. Alert; a new minor GDV task has been assigned. Please prevent the pending vandalism in a side alley, which is coincidentally a sharp left turn from your current location. It's even technically into a wall, since it is a straight dead end.]

Lucas snorts out a laugh and looks over his shoulder at Jonathan, catching the confused expression on his face this time.

"Let's make a little detour. This may seem a bit familiar." As he says this, Lucas turns to head down the alley without bothering to check if Jonathan is actually following.

This time Lucas is greeted with the sight of a teen in an ill-fitted red and white tracksuit. Bearing a bleached undercut that has distinctly black roots, he wields a spray can of black paint in his right hand and has a second can of an unseen color awkwardly poking out of a pants pocket. He's currently positioned facing an employee entrance door for one of the local businesses, a thoughtful look on his face as he's shaking the can.

Jonathan smiles a bit as he takes in the sight, thinking that Lucas just used his 'ability' again to know this was taking place.

'Oh come on, what an amateur. TWO!? I need to stop him just on principle at this point.'

[…You regularly make me reconsider where your priorities lie.]

As the most-likely-personally-motivated teen finishes shaking the can of spray paint and seems to be about to begin his artistic process, Lucas loudly shouts out a sudden "Hey!" Which immediately startles the teen into dropping the can with a noisy clatter that reverberates a bit throughout the alley.

"Oi, whatcha think you're doing, punk?" Lucas has a broad grin while saying this as he walks closer to the surprised youth. Realizing it's a stranger instead of whoever the teen feared being caught by, he lets out a brief sigh of relief.

"Come on man, you nearly gave me a heart attack. This doesn't have anything to do with you, just let it go, yeah?" While he asks this, the youth bends over to reclaim the dropped aerosol can. Lucas gives a thoughtful hum and pauses a moment before replying.

"No can do. Heh, what do you think happened to the last guy I caught in the act?" Lucas points at himself with his right thumb, indicating his distinctive choice in fashion. The grin still hasn't left his face, though now he has an inquisitively raised brow as well.

As the teen straightens back up with his reclaimed contraband, he can't help giving Lucas a confused look. Taking in the display of modern art, his face slowly takes on a look of horror. Seems that such a vague threat led to some interesting theories in his mind, far more menacing than the truth.

"Dude, what the hell! Fine, whatever!" Thoroughly spooked, the teen hurls the can of paint in his hands at Lucas's chest and turns to run around him out of the alley. Catching the can and holding it up in one hand, he shakes it a bit in Jonathan's direction near the entrance to the alley.

"Hey Jon, grab the other one too!" Before the teen makes it very far, Jonathan catches Lucas's command and quickly snatches the other can from the fleeing teen's pocket in passing. Turns out it's red.

[Congratulations on completing your minor GDV task for a reward of .05 GDV. There weren't any penalties, it seems half went to Jonathan as he got credit as well. I believe I may have mentioned before, when easy tasks are split between more people than necessary there is a bit of point loss. Hmm, didn't he only have .63 before?]

'Eh? I think so? Why?'

[He's up to .7 now. He must have had full intentions of helping you a few times by now but didn't actually get the chance?]

'Oh, huh. Expected of my trusty sidekick. Oh, still need to talk about hero, er, villain names with him.'

[...Why are you like this?]

With the stymied vandal out of sight, Lucas goes up to Jonathan with the paint can in one hand and his other hand raised for a high five. Though not all the way up, he probably couldn't reach.

Turns out, Jonathan had to hop up a bit to reach even still. It's fine, he has the energy to spare.

"Nice one, kiddo. Though I guess we shouldn't go around publicly shouting each other's names when doing stuff like this? Should we do code names or something?" Having been amused by Jonathan's limited reach, Lucas can't help ruffling his hair a bit as he says this. Getting a brief glare and his hand swatted away in return, Jonathan then stuffs the paint can he had previously confiscated into Lucas's hand in order to protect his hair.

"Oh, oh! We can start using our villain names! Have you picked one out yet, I did! I wanna be Jackknife!" Once he enthusiastically announces his choice, he pulls out his switchblade from the pocket of the sweatpants he's wearing. At a speed too fast for the naked eye, he pulls the blade out and stabs at the air in front of him a few times, hopping a bit in his antics.

'...I keep underestimating him thanks to how awkward he is. He'd probably be a bit threatening right now if he wasn't happily grinning to the point he has dimples. Kinda makes me wanna pinch his cheeks.'

[He can, and quite possibly would, cut you if you tried.]

Lucas's act of resisting the temptation of squishy cheeks is made easier by the fact he is currently dual-wielding spray paint cans. Chuckling at the jovial mini-villain, he decides to gauge his reaction to 427's proposed name.

"I was thinking... Maybe Xenoclast?" Lucas has an uncharacteristically tentative voice while asking this. Jonathan doesn't disappoint, settling in place a bit with his face lit up.

"Ooh, how imposing! I like it!" After giving his approval, Jonathan flicks his switchblade shut and pockets it again. He was probably endangering himself more than anyone else the way he was waving it around anyway.

'Right. Imposing. Some heroes we are.'

[...Recalculating.]

As 427 completes the joke he wasn't even previously familiar with, Lucas guffaws uncontrollably. At this point, Jonathan has already started getting used to what a lunatic he seems to be.

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 6

Lucas current GDV: 4.39 (+.05 net change)

Jonathan current GDV: .7 (+.04 +.01 = +.05 net change)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, suddenly distracted, pointing at the aerosol cans still in Lucas's hands even in the theater: Hey, what are we gonna do with those anyway?

Lucas, smiling fiendishly: Oho, I have a good idea.

427, mildly concerned: [You're going to make a mess again aren't you?]

Author, forcing a neutral voice until they begin coughing uncontrollably: Whatever do you mean 427, Lucas only considers good, clean, fun like the upstanding citizen he is, right?